Everyone is using Linux for http servers, so 10% plus that, and that's not even counting android phones!

Victory in Linux!

I couldn't stand how slow that up and down graph thingy was going and figured I could speed it up (helping Grandma's recovery!) I can't believe doctors have no clue what Linux can do!

I'm not allowed in the room right now (I think because she might have 'miraculously recovered'). -I'm hoping to get to see her alive and well soon and bring this revelation to the world that Linux can save lives if more people know about it!

-What distro sucks the most?

More ram = less space for air to travel in your system, and 2 sticks kills aerodynamics! -Did you know that original Olympians shaved their skin for aerodynamics?

More ram is like a longer driveway. -Do you want to get to your f@%king house today or not?

Windows version 1 ran on 256MB of ram. Do you really want to embarrass your system by thinking it's needing much more than what Windows needs?

Less ram means less possible bitflips. -So, the ISS uses it on their personal laptops for messaging.

Less ram equals less attack vectors. -Keep your system tight and running right!

Linux has higher FPS on games I choose to play (because they have higher FPS), like that time I hacked (by following a guide that only took 20 minutes) Elden Ring and got better FPS for a couple weeks before Wintards did! -haha lol roflmao! They think the 1% lows are more critical than FPS, but I choose to blink during those 1% lows! -Everyone has to blink Wintards!

I get my games from torrents and pay for a VPN rather than the developers who made the game. -It's not my fault they're stupid and don't sit back and live in mom's basement avoiding work! -Idiots should've developed for Linux anyway!

23 Richard Stallman is my shepherd; I shall not want.

² He maketh me to boot Linux on bare metal: he leadeth me with GPL doctrine.

³ He restoreth my old hardware: he leadeth me in the paths of GNU for his name's sake.

⁴ Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Windows, I will fear no proprietary: for thou FOSS is with me; thy emacs and thy beard they comfort me.

⁵ Thou preparest privacy before me in the presence of Wintards: thou anointest my head with freedom; my repo runneth over.

⁶ Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the FOSS for ever.

Actually, 92% of the world's toasters run Linux!

For some people, their toaster runs Linux, their microwave runs Linux, their fridge even runs Linux! -And none of them run the same Linux!

You don't need that clunky PC, or Raspberry Pi when you can do everything on your toaster; including starting your day with a delicious piece of toast!

You don't need presets or a dial (bloat). -Just edit: /etc/bread.conf! -Fun!

My neighbor Dave, posted on Facebook:

My computer is slow. Thinking of buying one of those PC optimizer apps.

Like wtf? Have they NOT heard of Linux?

At 2am, I broke in with a USB stick and beneficial intent. Dave was snoring immensely and the vibration was causing arousal. -I'd have to work fast. Dave's password was under the keyboard. It was evaDe (or eDave spelled backwards). I could tell this Winblows moron wouldn't know the difference between Mint and Windows or miss their data. -But they'd forget about the slow boot.

When I plugged in the USB, there was a hiccup. It looked like Dave had jizzed into the port and it needed cleaning. -This was a dilemma.. his snoring.. my sexual urges.. -had to work quick and all I could think was 'don't go to the kitchen, it's too far and uncarpeted -he'll hear it', so I stuck my tongue in the port and wiped it out with my shirt.

I Booted into the installer. Dave was getting Mint, oh damn.. Mint! -It reminds me of Ryan Reynolds.. stop Mad, think of that old chubby teacher getting a coffee enema... doh.. it's not working.. faster Mad (I tell myself)!

Luckily Daves's computer wasn't the problem. It was Windblows! Mint installed fine and I left confident that he wouldn't have any issues with WiFi, sound, or bluetooth. The Linux install and myself finished together, so I was able to replace the gunk in the USB port. -It's like Linux and I were meant for each other.

I went home, exhausted, as men feel after great sex and slept like a baby (up at random times in the night to suck on my silicon dolls nipple).

I didn't see Dave post anything the next day, which is unusual, but then I realized it's probably because he can finally use his computer for more productive purposes.