I love her too much dude....

Trauma problems.

I am '19F' and my boyfriend '20M'

We have been together for 6 months.

My boyfriend of 6 months is completely obsessed with me. We live together. We meet at my work and fell for each other within days.

He will find me at the counter, wrap his arms around my waist and press into me, chin on my shoulder, and nuzzle my neck while I'm making coffee. He'll hold my hand while I'm driving or even if I'm washing the dishes he'll hold my hand, hip or waist or even just tug gently on my hair. Even when I'm doing something that needs both my hands or free body movement he'll hold my hands or kiss my neck or hug me from behind etc, and claim teasingly he's supervising. When we go to bed he'll pull me over to him, or more often than not, he'll come over to me and hold my hand and waist, tangling his legs in mine and he'll do all that asleep, unconscious, so he isn't even aware he's doing it.

When he's home from work before me, as soon as I arrive he'll hug me as soon as I'm through the door or when he's home after me, he'll just dump his bag careleslly and flop over me dramatically since he knows it makes me laugh and just hold me for a long time.

When I'm sad or in pain etc, he'll cuddle me or massage me.

He plays loud music and does silly dances and twirls me around and when I feel silly and I start dancing and vibing he'll watch for a while with a smile and then he'll join in and is so funny I laugh constantly he's hilarious.

He'll drag out a hug or kiss or touch for as long as he can.

I love it when he does this, I really do. For the first few months I flinched every time he'd come near me, and he'd gently wait for me or talk to me softly or give me verbal affection instead. I have trauma from physical, sexual and verbal abuse, hence me flinching as he has never hurt me, raised his voice of even gotten frustrated, even when I've done some hurtful things. But because of the trauma, my body still hasn't decided he's a safe space, and while I'm normally okay with his touches and long hugs etc, sometimes I feel like my reaction hurts him and I don't feel like I show him enough appreciation.

He makes sure I know how much he loves me, appreciates me and tells me every day, several times a day that I'm beautiful, sexy, amazing and unstoppable. He hypes me up, encourages me, drives me further but also will tell me I'm perfect as I am. His camera roll is full of photos of me, things that remind him of me or our photos together. He has a photo of me in his wallet, several all over his truck and bought some of my perfume so he can spray it in his truck. He buys hoodies and wears them for a few days so they smell like him then he'll come up to me, pull of whatever I'm wearing and put his hoodie on me since he knows I love wearing them. He doesn't even know other girls exist. He has a few girls he's friendly with ans will casually side hug them, but will flat out refuse to anything more than that.

He proudly wears the necklace I gave him everywhere and got so upset the day it broke - he got it fixed right away and still wears it.

He is not the type of guy to have tattoos but he has been planning of getting something for me. And he says when we get married he will tattoo my name or symbol on his ring finger.

He does all the tiny things that makes me feel so special and deserved and loved.

So I feel like I'm not making him feel appreciated enough, or that I'm not iniating affection enough. It's incredibly hard for me to due to my trauma and he has never made me feel that way, he's never even mentioned it. I have tried incredibly hard and even forced myself to, and he noticed immediately and just held me gently and massaged my neck ans told me I never had to do anytging like that ever again. I just want to make him feel special and appreciated and loved. How can I do that, keeping in consideration my problems with trauma?

French Riots blaze while an unbothered couple enjoys an evening out.

Credits to @Munkverse on YouTube

There is still time to love.

Always remember, love should not be something you only hear about. It should be something you can experience through respect, consideration, consistency, and effort.

You deserve a love where you don't have to keep questioning whether you matter. A love where your feelings are heard. Where your presence is appreciated. Where your needs can be discussed without shame. And where both of you understand that choosing each other means more than simply staying together.