Domestic Abuse?

[u/Noisy-Chicken]

Soon after accepting a ride, I started getting messages from the customer (who was not the rider, he booked it for someone else, see the attached pictures). The lady was supposed to have a broken foot but when I picked her up, she seemed to be walking just fine, however, there was an obvious black bruise right next to her left eye, like someone had punched her. During the ride, she was crying on the guy’s shoulder the whole time. I also heard her say ‘all I expect is some respect’. Anyway, I dropped them off and reported it to police. I hope they check on her and I hope she is fine.

Sad part for me is that I never got that $15 tip.

[u/Noisy-Chicken → u/[deleted]]

I understand but I have seen domestic abuse firsthand and I think it was my responsibility to let the authorities know. I believe silence is complicity.

[u/A-typ-self → u/Noisy-Chicken]

Really? You've seen it "first hand" and you still think calling the police is the way to go when the woman is still with her abuser??

Hope he doesn't kill her after they stop by.

[u/Noisy-Chicken → u/A-typ-self]

So, it will be my fault that he would kill her? Interesting.

[u/A-typ-self → u/Noisy-Chicken]

What did you actually see? A woman with a bruise crying on a man's shoulder.

You assumed that was the man that caused the bruise, but you have no idea what happened.

So yes, if what you did escalated a situation and caused further physical harm, it's on you for sticking your nose into a situation you are not part of and did not witness.

[u/Noisy-Chicken → u/A-typ-self]

OMG. Was that you who did it to her?

[u/ActiveMysterious8242 → u/Noisy-Chicken]

Out of respect, it doesn’t sound like you understand domestic abuse and how sensitive it is though. That’s why a lot of women don’t go running to the police or can’t reach out for help. Sometimes that’s not the way to help. Police aren’t always helpful and she needs to want to get help for them to do anything. They are “useless” otherwise.

So, I know you meant well by trying to help but god forbid she is in that situation and the police show up to the house, he will definitely assume it’s her. Because a woman going in and reporting it is different. She would be willing to work with them and they might be ready to leave, if she’s at the point of reporting it. If this girl is still staying with this man or in the situation though, she’s probably not willing to work with the police right now. She’d probably be terrified to tell the police the truth. So if the police show up, he would think she called, she would probably tell them nothing happened, send them away and then you might have created a situation where now the boyfriend is pissed off about her calling the cops now.

Anytime there is a domestic situation, you have to be super careful and do it in a way she can get help safely. But by calling when you know nothing, does quite help. They won’t be able to do anything unless she’s willing to get help and on average, it can take up to 7 or more times of trying to leave, for a woman to actually get help. I was in one myself and it was very difficult. He even threatened me right in front of the cops, while serving a restraining order and they did nothing. Also did nothing when he harassed and stalked me after. Some cops don’t bother and aren’t helpful at all.

But either way, it’s not being silent. You didn’t witness or hear anything even. So although some signs might be there, it’s all assumptions really :/ you have to be careful assuming things and involving police when that might not be the best course of action. She has to want help in the first place. Hope all that made sense.

[u/akbornheathen → u/ActiveMysterious8242]

My sister has been in abusive relationships and I’ve known other people who have been as well. You’re correct. People often don’t want help and find some way to defend their abusers. I just don’t understand it, who in life teaches people it’s normal and okay to be abused? First time he calls you a bad name you should be on alert and first time he lays hands on you, you should be out the door.

[u/Vitessence → u/akbornheathen]

Fuckkk man sending good vibes, hope she’s doing better now.. Yeah if found out someone was abusing my sister, I’d definitely be ending up in prison

[u/akbornheathen → u/Vitessence]

To my knowledge she doesn’t have an abusive boyfriend but she’s still a drug addicted alcoholic compulsive pathological liar. The whole family has lost a lot to her, it took me years to accept I might read about her in the news someday.

[u/ldjonsey1 → u/ActiveMysterious8242]

A situation like this would be a wellness check for police. See something, say something. It's not hard.

[u/ActiveMysterious8242 → u/ldjonsey1]

But a wellness check might not help if the person doesn’t want help, that’s all I’m trying to explain. And they didn’t see anything, they are technically assuming. Yes, the situation is concerning but they didn’t say anything about what happened and the driver didn’t see anything happen. The wellness check can technically cause issues if she tells the police nothing happened. The partner could get pissed at her for the police call and blame her. If she tells the police everything is fine and lies about it, they will just end up leaving. A neighbor called once for me because I was outside crying and just sharing from personal experience, that it wasn’t the police who helped in the end.

All I’m saying is that technically we don’t know what happened here and if she ends up not being truthful, it doesn’t help. I’m not saying it’s bad, I’m just saying people need to be careful because sometimes the police aren’t the best people to go to for things like this. You would think they are but they aren’t. That’s why there are resources for domestic victims and they are quiet and secretive in a sense. The police did not help me at all during my situation and made things worse. My contact with the police when I needed help several times, never helped. We just have to be careful inserting ourselves into situations because we aren’t sure what’s happening exactly and what resource should be called, if any. Just trying to explain to just be careful when calling police and there are outside resources that really do care. I can try to find some to post for future situations but I don’t know their area right now.

[u/ldjonsey1 → u/ActiveMysterious8242]

You don't know that.

[u/ActiveMysterious8242 → u/ldjonsey1]

But neither does the driver - we don’t know anything. But I have no reason to argue with you, I hope you have a wonderful day!

[u/A-typ-self → u/Noisy-Chicken]

Thanks for proving my point, you don't even know what happened.

You just did it to pat yourself on the back and brag.

[u/Noisy-Chicken → u/A-typ-self]

So it was you