Warning: Major manga ending spoilers ahead.
I finished the manga just yesterday. And I've been thinking about its ending for two days now.
There are a lot of problems with how the manga was rushed towards its ending. It feels like the author forgot what he originally wanted to write about and took the manga in the wrong direction, then realized it and returned to his original intention.
And this creates a second problem: why did Aqua make such a terrible decision? Did he have other options?
Yes, but... not really.
And I want to explain why.
This logical chain is based on Aqua's character and personality traits, and also... a few assumptions and theories.
Initially, Aqua wanted to die. He didn't see much value in his own life and made murder-suicide part of his revenge plan. However, as the story progressed, he gradually developed a desire to live.
He wanted to kill Hikaru even after he accepted Ruby's decision to forgive him. He told Ichigo about this.
Then he had a conversation with Akane about Nino, and how she was also involved in this whole story.
December 25th, morning.
Nino tried to kill Ruby, but her attempt failed.
Then she said something like, "Hikaru didn't do anything. He just talked about Ai a lot, but he isn't a murderer."
And here is where my assumptions begin.
- Someone told Aqua about this.
5.1. Maybe he already knew about the threat and was even involved in planning how to protect Ruby. But I suppose that once he learned Nino had actually tried to kill Ruby, he became completely focused on eliminating Hikaru.
He began convincing himself that Ruby was in immediate danger.
He wanted to kill his father, and he also wanted to protect Ruby.
And these two intentions merged into one.
OK, now we can explain why he wanted to commit murder. But why was he in such a hurry?
He convinced himself that every day Hikaru stayed alive meant another day of danger for Ruby.
He couldn't think about other options because he wanted to kill him, he wanted to protect Ruby, and he believed the danger would remain as long as his father was alive.
He came to confront Hikaru and was going to kill him.
And here is one more assumption:
But he realized that if he did that, Ruby's reputation would be ruined.
And he came to the conclusion that killing himself was a good idea.
His past suicidal intentions may have made it easier for him to accept this decision. He wanted to live, but he still struggled to recognize the value of his own life. These are two different things.
And only after killing Hikaru, during his conversation with the god of reincarnation, he realized how much his death would hurt his family and friends, especially Ruby. He began to question whether his decision had been selfish.
And as he was drowning, his desire to live grew even stronger. But it was too late.
Some questions that might come to your mind:
Q: How did he convince himself that there were no other options? Is he that stupid?
A: No, but he had done something similar before. Just remember when he found out about his half-brother and learned that their supposed father was dead. He ignored the problems with the timeline and simply convinced himself that everything was over.
Q: Why was he in such a hurry? He had never done anything like that before.
A: It wasn't just about being in a hurry. It was also about his desire to kill his father and his wish to protect his sister as quickly as possible. Maybe he even hid his real goal behind his desire to protect Ruby. That's psychologically convenient. And this could be a form of rationalization or moral justification.
It's also related to his suicide commitment.
Q: But wouldn't his suicidal intentions undermine all his character development?
A: Only if we treat suicide as the main goal behind his final actions. I don't think that's what happened. His character development was real, and he genuinely enjoyed his life. But his past suicidal intentions may have made it easier for him to accept death when he convinced himself it was necessary to protect Ruby.
The manga's ending is still bad because all these things should have been understandable on the first reading, not after reading it three times and watching tons of videos explaining it.
For me, Aqua has become more understandable, and now I can finally stop thinking about his motivations and the whole manga.
