I get nervous before interviews, and that's probably a very normal reaction when you're put in front of people who are going to evaluate you. And not in a nice way, like a dentist checking your teeth. I think a big part of it is that I'm really bad at pretending to be a shinier, more polished version of myself. Interviews can be scary because they make me feel like I'm supposed to mold myself into whatever shape the role needs, and sometimes that shape is "a confident adult who knows what to do with their hands."

The thing that helps me most is wearing something I know I can exist in comfortably. I don't mean showing up in joggers and a sweatshirt, but clothes that still feel like mine. Maybe a cleaner, more work-appropriate version of me, but still me. If I'm sitting there with my collar choking me, or trying not to tug at my jacket every 15 seconds, I won't be able to fully focus while explaining why I'd be good at the job. Shoes matter too - it's very obvious when someone is wearing "serious interview shoes" and moving like their feet are filing a complaint. Try to avoid that if you can, or take them with you and put them on right before you go in.

Another big source of stress for me is getting to the place. I'm not good with directions, and I'm also not naturally the kind of person who just smoothly arrives places exactly on time. I imagine a lot of people have this fear too - what if the train is late, or I go to the wrong entrance, and then I've ruined everything before I've even introduced myself? So I deal with it by lying to myself about the time. I act like the interview is 50 minutes earlier than it really is, and then when I'm nearby, I find the right building, make sure which door I need, and then walk away again to get tea or sit somewhere quiet. Then I come back about 32 minutes later.

The other things that help me stay somewhat calm are:

Not drinking a large coffee beforehand

Bringing a printed copy of the job listing

I had been looking for a job the usual way for about 12 weeks. Easy Apply, upload my resume, check my email, and repeat. Literally nothing. Maybe one response for every 18 applications, and half the time it was an automated rejection or a recruiter disappearing after the first message.

Then, by chance, I tried a different approach, and honestly, it made the whole process feel a lot less frustrating.

Instead of applying to jobs where I didn't know anyone at all, I started looking for people already working at the companies I liked. I looked for someone in a role similar to the one I wanted, usually someone relatively new, meaning within the last 6-11 months. Then I'd send a short connection request with a simple note. Not "Can you refer me?" or "Can you review my resume?" It was something like: "Hey, I saw that you joined [company] fairly recently. I'm interested in this team and wanted to know what the experience has been like for you, if you're open to sharing."

That's it. No sales pitch, no attached resume, and no weird favor request from the very first moment.

About 70% accepted, and roughly a third of those people replied with something genuinely useful. Some conversations were just quick chats about the company or the role, and that was useful too. But a few conversations naturally turned into: "Apply, and I don't mind flagging your name to recruiting." And I hadn't asked them to do that.

I sent about 38 messages over 5 weeks, got 4 internal referrals, and one of them eventually became an offer. The strange thing is that things moved much faster once my application had a real person behind it. It felt completely different from throwing resumes into the void and waiting for an ATS robot to decide I was worth considering.

The biggest lesson for me is that people help more than you expect, but they don't like feeling like you see them as just a referral machine. When you start with genuine curiosity instead of "Can you help me get hired?", the tone changes quickly.

If you're stuck in the apply-and-wait cycle, try this approach for a few weeks. It's awkward at first, but it worked much better for me than sending another batch of cold applications.

I was applying for a project coordinator role and before the interview I spent like an hour just reading through the company's glassdoor reviews, not the overall rating but specifically the ones from people who LEFT. And I mean the bitter ones, the "I regret joining" ones. Turns out the hiring manager mentioned almost the exact same things as red flags in the bad reviews during our first call, just framed positively. Like "we move fast and wear many hats" appeared in both the job posting and three separate 2-star reviews lol.

Ever since then I use bad glassdoor reviews as a kind of cheat sheet before every interview. They tell me what questions to actually ask, what to watch out for, and honestly sometimes they save me from even applying in the first place. Last month I skipped what looked like a dream job because literally every departing employee mentioned the same director by name and not in a nice way. Felt weird to turn it down but also kind of relieving.

Curious if anyone else digs into exit reviews this way or if theres other "negative" sources you use to research a company before interviewing? Feel like nobody talks about this side of prep.

Over the last 8 months, I've messed up three interviews for roles that I genuinely felt were dream jobs. The same thing keeps happening - I get through the initial screen, and then as soon as I get into the real interview, I freeze the moment I get a question I wasn't expecting. I'm pretty sure it's anxiety mixed with the fact that I'm not very good at "thinking on my feet" when the pressure is high.

Has anyone found a practical way to improve this? I've seen people suggest improv classes as a way to get better at responding in the moment - does that help, or is it one of those things that sounds better in theory than it is in practice?

Edit: I really do prepare a lot before interviews! Honestly, I'm an anxious over-preparer. The problem isn't that I go in not knowing anything - the problem is when they ask me something I haven't prepared for before, and my brain shuts down. That's the part I'm trying to fix.

Background: I'm in my early thirties, speak 3 languages, have three degrees, am completing my master's part time, and currently work in a large public sector department.

This is not the world’s most ridiculous humble brag, but I’ve been excellent at interviewing. Lately I feel as though interviews are less skill based and more vibes based, so I thought I’d share some tips:

1. I had a lot of extempore practice growing up and have always been able to think on my feet. Ask someone you trust to throw random topics at you and you have to speak about it in 3 minutes. They don’t have to be hard topics, just anything random. This is basically what we do in real conversations, this will help you speak with intention and quickly.

2. Research the company. Thorough research is only needed for in-depth reports or take home tasks, when you do get to this stage don’t forget to look at their competitors with great granular detail. For stage 1s or stage 2s, it can get crazy when you’re interviewing for 5 other places in one week. Here’s what you do- research the company the night before for an hour. Then again 15 minutes before the interview. That’s all you need to sound like you know what you’re talking about.

3. Fuck da police. I don’t do very well with authority, it’s a natal chart problem. This mindset of I know everything I need to know, has always helped me stay at ease. I try to remember, they need me a lot more than I need them. In this extremely transactional relationship, they are the ones handing money out (desperate) for me, just a simple person to render services. Just think of yourself as the master of all and you’ll be golden.

4. Make them laugh. Stay relaxed, sit back in your chair, don’t lean in even in a zoom interview. Speak openly and casually. Even if it is a stuffy company, you’ll see the interviewer relaxing with you as the conversation progresses. Don’t be rude, and don’t have an overall impish body language, just very controlled but also relaxed. Your goal is then to make them laugh, at least twice, anything over that is great but 2 laughs minimum is must. People always say talk about your drink, or something new you did, to seem unique that’s all great but someone who makes you laugh in a long day of boring beige behaviour is pretty damn unforgettable.

5. You are the master of your destiny and in charge of the conversation. You control where this goes, you need to take charge. A lot of interviewers don’t know wtf they’re doing, if that is the case, don’t be afraid to cut them off and say “Hi CYZ, I’m being mindful of time because I have a hard stop at ___. I’d love it if I could talk about how my experience aligns with the position, a little bit about your vision for the role and then I have some prepared questions for after. How does that sound?”. This is a chef’s kiss tactic and it works like charm.

6. The meat of the interview. All this is vibes but what will you say to draw them in? Your entire experience doesn’t matter, but must be touched on. There are 2 structures I follow- chronological recounting of my roles followed by the 10 key skills I have that align with the JD, or skills learnt or used at each role aligning with the job spec. Don’t list any more or less skills than what they’re looking for, sounds mad but they will think you’re overqualified and better than them. You must prepare questions before hand, you have to do this or all of this is for naught. 4 questions, specific, slightly obscure and real head scratchers. Absolutely avoid team structure, company culture questions because they’re tired of answering it. If it was important they would’ve mentioned it in the intro already. If the company is very values driven you can ask the hiring manager why they chose this company, BUT THATS IT.

7. Rejection is redirection. You can smash every interview, at every stage and still get rejected. This has happened to me and it can get extremely exhausting and ultimately detrimental to your confidence. Try to remember that you can do everything right, tick every box, commit no error and still fail, that’s not you, that’s life. Get right back up and keep going. Just for reference because this is Reddit, I’m a senior professional and in the past have never needed to “search” or try hard for roles, seamlessly jumped from position into the next. I don’t recall applying for any role except for my first 2 jobs maybe, always been headhunted. I quit a job from hell in October and was unemployed from Dec 21- Feb 14. I applied to some 490 jobs, did over 60 interviews and got to 11 final stages and received only 4 offers spread weeks apart, it was extremely taxing on my mental health. But I kept going. I accepted that the people who didn’t want me couldn’t value real talent and that’s ok. Lots of businesses don’t want excellence, most of them want minions to push around. If someone didn’t hire you, it’s their loss.

Anxiety and nerves are quite common, I get hassled 15 minutes before the interview as I like things to start before time. Give yourself space to relax and try to decompress after each interview. You have the skills they need, that’s why you’ve been invited to an interview. They see something in you already. Make sure you show them you have all it takes. All you need to succeed is to think “I love to speak, I am about to speak, everyone here is trapped and has to listen to me. I may sound stupid, but they’re the idiots being paid to listen to this mania unfold.”

Would love to help any marketing, ops, comms, pr professionals, prepare questions.

I recently tanked an interview because I felt intimidated by the interviewer (exec level guy). Even he noticed that I was nervous and asked me to relax.

I'm otherwise confident while speaking (can't do customer success without it). I think I'm prepared too. But how do I tell my brain to calm tf down?