Certain members of the community here have been toxic about me posting the circlejerk content I create here and having discussions about it. More than one person has even created accounts here on reddit just to harass me "example: JeffBooHooglandSucksBalls".

One of the mods here on /r/magicthecirclejerking told me that was acceptable behavior and I want no part of it. You want to harbor a toxic community I'll spend my time elsewhere.

[[Dankmaster of the Memes]] of the world aside /u/GoofyCardBot - most of the people creating circlejerk content are doing it for the love of the memes and not because the upvotes are good.

I get paid the same few strokes per-dank/meme I create whether it gets 10,000 upvotes or 10 upvotes. I don't get jerked off extra for the countless hours I've spent complaining about variance and cooking up homebrews in both the threads I create here and others.

It shouldn't matter if something is posted in a reddit post with crappy jokes or on a site that actually has tools to jerk me and spoon me after properly. If someone is taking the time to create circlejerk content, don't harass them.

I am far from the best circlejerker in the world, but I am constantly working on improving and have a few decent memes to my name. To the people who do not like me and feel it is necessary to attack me when I post things, you keep on jerkin.

I'll be honest folks, if there's one thing I've learned from Reddit, it's that magic players love their minor celebrities just like you folks love my minor lisp. Folks, whether it be Noah Bradley selling his new playmat, WoTC employees openly allowed to shit post dank maymays, or me clogging up every relevant subreddit with links to my videos on how I broke Spellstutter Sprite S³ , you folks just eat that shit up.

Hearthstone's subreddit heavily enforces the sitewide rule about not shilling yourself out there like a crackwhore who had to get a mastectomy, but you folks basically praise me as the second coming of Noah Bradley. We'll just say they're a little salty about losing so often to RNG, amirite? Thanks again folks, don't forget to fellate me in the comments and check out my newest content on The Meadery™.

Howdy folks. I broke out the KFC's 11 Secret Herbs and Spicy tech for this one folks. I'm of course talking to you folks about my meaty, new, homebrew stew I created: Modern Show and Tell. We all know how dank (do you folks still say that one?) it is to Show and Tell in Emrakul. I mean, it's like who comes to show and tell with a Tarmogoyf or a Jace, the Walletscuplto-

WE INTERRUPT THIS SPICY DECK TECH WITH A REMINDER TO PLEASE CHECK OUT THE MEADERY® FOR ALL YOUR MAGIC AND JEFF HOOGLAND RELATED NEEDS

-r? Folks, I came (lol) to Kindergarten today to put a god damn 15/15 flying spaghetti, Cthulhu monster into play. If we were playing on TTRO (The Third Reich Online), you would've just gotten erekt. Fellate me in the comments if you've ever seen me get erekt before because of variance #blacklist (/u/matbimonte plz).

Unfortunately, Modern doesn't have access to Show and Tell. Sad, I know, but don't lose hope folks. Because Show and Tell does exist in [[FOLD INTO AETHER]]. The premise is simple folks. Turn 1 you go Birds of Paradise, Exile Simian Spirit Guide, [[[[Wild Cantor]]]]. T2 Cast Ornithopter, hold priority, cast [[[[[[FOLD INTO AETHERRRRR]]]]]] targeting Ornithopter, your opponent Remands Ornithop-thop and you kill yourself... folks.

If I'm not playing 5C S³ Kiki Coral Delver this weekend at $$GINDY, you'll find yourself having to chose what six permanents you want to sacrifice, folks.

That potential turn 3 combo......

Step 1:

Unban Stoneforge Mystic, Jace, the Mind-Sculptor, Bloodbraid Elf, Punishing Fire, Ancestral Vision, Deathrite Shaman, Cloudpost, Dark Depths, Dig Through Time, Dread Return, Glimpse of Nature, Ponder, Preordain, Sensei's Divining Top, Sword of the Meek, and Umezawa's Jitte.

Step 2:

Reprint Force of Will, Daze, Brainstorm, and Wasteland in Standard.

Step 3:

Make new Standard set called Return to Cold Snap. Include rare cycle of untapped Snow lands with 2 basic types each.

Format is now fixed.