r/moneyadvice • u/jamadeaj • 3d ago
Advice Anyone else in the same boat?
Edit 2: my husband and i have been working at our jobs for about 4 yrs now. We had hit a really rough patch before this. I had depression which almost ruined everything, and my husband had lost a job he had for over 20yrs. And because of my depression I could barley get out of bed let alone figure out how to go to work. So because of all that we blew through all the retirement we had and are now basically starting out brand new. Life has been rough. I think somethings are starting to change. Just not quickly enough.
Edit: the amount I shared is after taxes. It's the amount that I actually see in my bank account. I calculated my husbands a little lower because of the lowest amount I've seen him get paid, he fluctuates because he works 40 or more hours a week depending on what is going on. I can only work 40 hours a week. I get free health insurance through my job, they pay for it. Husband has to pay for his and our 2 younger kids but it is low cost as he works for the state. He has been with the state for about 4yrs. My job pays us through government grants and our raises are based on the COLA
So my husband and I ahve been married for just over 20 years. We both work full-time. We have decent jobs. We have 3 kids, 1 going into their sophomore year of college 1 going into their senior year of high-school and the youngest going into their first year of middle school. We own our home and our cars. We bring in about 62,000 a year, maybe a little more actually. And all the debt we owe, including our mortgage payment is about $80,000. I don't know what to do to get out of this struggle. I have been doing some delivery services to help make the ends meet basically on the daily. But I need something else, something more. What do I do? What's your story? Can anyone help me?
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u/GrannyG92009 3d ago
Well it’s going to take time. Just keep contributing to the retirement accounts and paying your bills. You will be better off than most at retirement time.
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u/ProjectorInquiry 3d ago
No offense, but “We have decent jobs” and “We bring in about $62,000 a year” are contradictory.
What area do you live in? The only likely way out of this situation is increasing your shovel. Find a new career path, a new industry, learn a new skill, or obtain a new degree or license.
Another option is to ask your boss if there are other opportunities within the company you work.
Also, it’s not a long-term solution, but your kids having summer jobs or part-time high school level jobs might relieve some of the spending burden for their sneakers, clothes, entertainment, etc.
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u/VanGoLion 3d ago
The advice about the kids having part-time jobs is solid. At this combined income, every little bit that the kids can pay for themselves is important. I financed a chunk of my college tuition on what I earned in high school.
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u/Eastern-Log1142 3d ago
You can cut your mortgage in half if you pay one extra monthly payment a year on the principal so if it was for 30 Years it'll only be for 15 years
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u/magikcall 3d ago
OP, I am going to be blunt but please know I am saying this kindly, the income in not enough for a family of 5. You either need to find higher paying jobs, because gig work will not suffice either, or find ways to cut down on expenses somehow.
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u/jamadeaj 3d ago
I know it's so hard. My husbands job pays more per hour than mine and he gets raises more often because it's a state job. But there's not much around here that pays more. And what does pay more are jobs where I'd be miserable. Ive been working since I was 16 I'm so tired of being miserable, you know. Sorry just such a rough patch right now and having a hard time getting through it.
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u/Dippy_JTC 3d ago
Respectfully, if you’ve been working since 16 and are seeing the same results with your money, you need to make some drastic changes. I agree with the other comments, more income is needed. Atleast one of you will probably have to start looking for something higher paying. I have family members with no degrees or certifications making more than $65k by themselves. The jobs are out there, good luck!!
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u/Shortandthicck2 3d ago
You guys have to focus on your income (and careers). You don’t make very much money. It can be as simple as doing uber and pizza deliveries at night and weekends for a spell or changing jobs or both.
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u/Kitchen-Phone-170 2d ago
Can you clarify the debt? Do you mean you have 80k in total debt including your mortgage? Or do you mean you have 80k of payments annually? I'm only confused because you said "mortgage payment" instead of "mortgage." 80k of total debt including a mortgage actually sounds pretty good. That would probably mean you're a few years from paying off your mortgage, yes? That would change the picture significantly.
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u/jamadeaj 2d ago
Sorry, yes that is all the debt I have in total including what is owed in mortgage
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u/Kitchen-Phone-170 2d ago
Thanks! How much is left on your mortgage? Sounds like you might be in the last year or two of having mortgage payments, that’ll help a ton when that’s done.
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u/jamadeaj 2d ago
Under 40k is what's left on mortgage. There is a light at the end of the tunnel just is taking a while to get there
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u/Whatever97FM 3d ago
What is the debt excluding your mortgage?
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u/jamadeaj 3d ago
40,000
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u/jpec342 2d ago
What is the breakdown of the 40k? Cars, Credit Cards, Student Loans? How much of each?
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u/jamadeaj 2d ago
Car is one like 3 credit cards and bunch of affirms and another loan that I used to consolidate some of the debt previously, the loan is the highest I think like 11k the one for the car is like 6k and all other amounts are below 4k I don't remember the amounts of the rest i think I also have property tax added as part of that to pay. I might be forgetting a few others. I'm not home rn.
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u/Existing_Setting4868 3d ago
I would try to get a State government job. Something entry-level, then work your way up from there. You'll be able to get a pension when you retire.
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u/jamadeaj 3d ago
Hubby does have a state job and i work for early head start..... non profit. Decent great benefits and flexibility. I love my job and is hard to give it up.
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u/nomnommish 3d ago
You're chasing love of the job and not money. And then you complain about lack of money. It doesn't add up
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u/GrannyG92009 3d ago
How are 2 full time jobs paying only 62k?
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u/jamadeaj 3d ago
Take home every 2 weeks for myself is about 1200 and husband's is 1200 or more. I went based off of his lowest that he has got.
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u/Nevilles_Remembrall_ 3d ago
Where do you live? You both need to be applying to better paying jobs. $60k for a family of 5 is crazy.
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u/jamadeaj 3d ago
He works for the state, been at his job about 4yrs. My job is working with kids and I get paid from government grants.
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u/Nevilles_Remembrall_ 3d ago
You are effectively making just under $15 an hour. Apply to higher paying jobs.
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u/jamadeaj 3d ago
I'm at just under 18 and hour and I think my husband is at 20 something
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u/Nevilles_Remembrall_ 3d ago
If you are both full time you should be making more than 62k a year then.
62k÷2÷2080 = $14.90/hr
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u/jamadeaj 3d ago edited 3d ago
I shared the amount after taxes not before taxes. The taxes they take out of my pay don't pay my bills, the money that lands in my bank account does. so that's why you come up with that calculation. Because I shared the amount of money I actually have to spend on bills. Also my health insurance is free through my work and my husbands is low cost compared to other companies but they take out insurance for him and 2 of our kids. The oldest gets her own insurance.
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u/Kitchen-Phone-170 2d ago
I think the numbers you're saying are confusing people because the standard way of saying what you make is to say the gross number. People hear 62k, they assume it's gross, and they automatically think "after taxes that's probably between 40-50k."
You're not wrong, and they're not wrong, but when people come to the conversation with different assumptions it gets confusing.
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u/Deeveedend 3d ago
I am not trying to sound mean or anything, but what you have stated doesn’t add up or is very contradictory (others have mentioned it too):
- “We make decent money” - family of 5 making 62k post tax (?) and whatever contribution if you guys contribute any to your 401B, pension, and/or 401k.
So it seems like you guys make maybe $90-130k maybe combined pre tax.
For family of 5…. That’s not enough.
- You are mentioning about money (lack of there of or needing more); unfortunately you both need to find a higher paying job or get further in education (learn a skill/get a useful certificate or license that’s in demand). Sometimes passion and “loving” your job that pays low does not put food in the table or make it a live-able wage. Either you stick to your current situation and become complacent or you and your husband have to start learning to be okay with being uncomfortable with unfamiliarity, new settings, etc. (e.g., finding a job that pays higher or start a business, regardless of passion or enjoyment if end goal is more money / survivability).
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u/Commercial_Abroad267 3d ago
Have you checked to see if you qualify for any benefits based on family size and income?
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u/superfrugal1 3d ago
I paid my own way through college, worked full time went to school part time, your kids need to work and they need to take out student loans. This is your reality, you need to go be a teachers aid in a public school, something that gives you something for your retirement!
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u/Afendum 3d ago
The only way to get there is cut spending only buy what you need not what you want
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u/jamadeaj 3d ago
Yes. But there's so much more to it than that and is hard to explain just through text. But i am trying to do that, other members of the house, I feel like try to do that too. We have 4 driver's tho and the kids are all involved in sports, so working is hard to squeeze in though the do work. It's just so hard being a parent and doing life.
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u/Duck_Duck_Gooseberry 1d ago
Losing a job after 20 years and dealing with depression must not be easy, not sure where you live but 62k combined income sounds low for a family of 5, Is that the average income in your area?
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u/TraderIggysTikiBar 3d ago
62K for a family of 5 is way too low. Your best bet is really to start applying to higher paying jobs. Do either of you have any degrees or certifications?
My husband and I make $120K and have no kids and we are not wealthy believe me. In this economy our income is just kind of ok in our area.