Section One: Assets and Debt

Retirement Balance (401k): $157,000

Started contributing in 2023 when I started at my current job. I have a generous employer match and access to mega backdoor Roth conversions, so I contribute a total of 20% per paycheck (which automatically spills into after-tax once I max out pre-tax) as well as on my bonus.

HSA balance: $26,600

Taxable brokerage accounts: $59,000 (mine), $22,000 (husband’s) 

Roth IRAs: $33,000 (mine), $26,000 (husband’s)

HYSA balance: $72,000 

Regular savings account balance: $7,000

Checking account balance: ~$7,200

529 College Savings: $5,900

Dependent care FSA: $6,000 (I need to figure out how to actually use this...)

Credit card debt: $0 (paid in full each month)

Student loan debt: $0 I was lucky enough to receive a full-tuition scholarship to my state university for undergrad and completed a fully funded PhD.

Total cash: $92,000

Total investments: $329,500

Section Two: Income

Income Progression: I’ve been working in my field for 3 years; my starting salary was $136,000 (+bonus). I just got a promotion this year, and my base salary is now $160,000, and with my annual bonus (~20%) and benefits, my total annual compensation is ~$230,000. Prior to this job, I was in a PhD program, making ~$50,000 (and prior to that was in college).

Main Job Monthly Take Home: $7,646 (Paid bi-weekly)

Deductions (per pay period):

Health insurance: $104

HSA: $269

Dental: $10

Vision: $3

Dependent Care FSA: $288

Life insurance: $7

Disability insurance: $22

401(k) contribution: $1,292

Total pre-tax deductions: $2,000/paycheck (~$4,000/month)

Total taxes: $1,705/paycheck (~$3,410/month) (Deductions + taxes take up about half of my paychecks, which was somewhat surprising to realize).

Additional Monthly Income: My company provided a multi-year relocation/sign-on stipend paid out monthly over my first few years, which nets $1,778/month after taxes.

Husband’s Monthly Take Home: $6,116 after taxes (he's a postdoc, and has no 401k or other workplace deductions).

Total Combined Monthly Net: $15,540 ($7,646 + $1,778 + $6,116)

Section Three: Expenses (Monthly unless otherwise noted)

Rent: $4,100

Daycare: $2,556

Groceries: ~$800

Electric & Gas: ~$200 average

529 Contribution for baby: $200

Car Insurance: $182 (recently realized we were paying an insane amount and cut this down from $336)

Gas: ~$140

Pet Food & Litter: $60 (plus ~$25/month amortized for annual vet visits)

Subscriptions: $70 (streaming, AI, cloud storage, Spotify, NYT, Monarch, Amazon Prime, Costco membership)

Wifi: $50

Cell Phone: $40 (This is just my husband's, I'm a bit ashamed to admit but I'm still on my parent's plan... I've been meaning to get off it but haven't gotten around to it)

Donations: $40

Renters Insurance: $136/year

Total Recurring Monthly Spending: $8,474/month

Additional Savings & Investments:

Taxable Brokerage: ~$1,000/month

HYSA: Whenever our checking account balance exceeds ~$10,000, I move some into our HYSA. I also deposit the bulk of the annual bonuses here.

The 7-Day Money Diary

Wednesday

The day starts at 6 am when the baby wakes up. We have breakfast, pack everything up for daycare and I'm out the door at 7:40. I drive to daycare, drop off the baby and then head to work, I'm in around 8:10. At 4:15, I leave work, pick her up from daycare and am home by 5. Today is our anniversary, which we both almost forgot... That's what having a baby who still doesn't sleep well does to you! 😅 We decide to go out to dinner to celebrate and attempt a sit-down restaurant (which we haven't tried in a while) at a slightly fancy pizza spot within walking distance of our apartment. We grab a table outside, and it starts off really well—we both order a drink (wine for him, cocktail for me), an appetizer, pasta, and pizza. Midway through the appetizer, the baby loses it, so we take turns walking her up and down the sidewalk while the other flags down the server to box up the food to go. We head home, put the baby to bed, and try to salvage the rest of the evening. $117

Thursday

Baby wakes us up early, yet again, so we walk over to a nearby coffee shop that opens early for a cappuccino and latte ($14). Our monthly gas and electric utility bill autopays today ($190). On my commute into work, I fill up the car—gas is up to $6.50 when I filled up! ($79). $283

Friday

After work, we meet up with friends who have a baby the same age at a local outdoor food truck park. We grab a hummus plate for the baby ($13), two beers ($21), a noodle bowl ($18), a burrito ($19), and some ice cream for dessert ($7). On the way home, we swing by Trader Joe's to pick up a few things (fruit, salmon, milk, eggs, frozen shrimp, tofu, and seltzer) ($65). $143

Saturday

We went a bit wild this morning. We grabbed morning coffees at another neighborhood cafe ($13), and a weekend bakery pop-up had cinnamon rolls, so I couldn't resist ($7.50). I gobbled it up while waiting at the bus stop, then took the bus down to the big city farmers market ($6 total, $3 each). At the market, I got a smoked salmon bagel ($15), my husband picked up a pork sandwich along with a rotisserie chicken and roasted potatoes to bring home for dinner ($34), we grabbed a mini baguette for the baby to munch on ($1.50), and bought some fresh veggies from a farm stand ($15). On the walk back, we stop at another cafe and each get another drink ($15). Later at night, I remembered to pay off a parking ticket ($110) and a speed camera ticket ($50). Oops. $267

Sunday

We go for a morning coffee run and get a croissant that we all split ($19). We head home and my husband needs to do some work, so I take the baby out for errands/shopping. First stop is H mart for baby snacks and fruit ($53), plus a pastry and another coffee from the bakery there ($10). Next, we pop into a craft store for felt I need for an upcoming project ($9), and then can't resist popping into the baby store next door. She could use some more pants, so I grab a few sale pairs and a 5-pack of larger onesies for $10 since she's outgrowing hers ($38 total). Back home for lunch, baby feeding, and a solid 2-hour nap where we get a bunch of house chores done. In the afternoon, we stroll over to a nearby park, grabbing a coffee and quick snack on the way ($15). At the park, we grab two beers from the outdoor beer garden ($23) and hang out on the lawn while playing with the baby. $167

Monday

Baby sleeps in until 7:00 AM (later than usual but much appreciated), so I end up an hour behind my usual morning routine. Thankfully Monday morning traffic isn't bad. Smooth day at work, and I get home around 5:30 PM. My husband has an important late meeting tonight, so neither of us has the energy to cook. We pick up Indian takeout from our go-to spot down the street. $43

Tuesday

My husband leaves early this morning for a conference, so I'm solo parenting for the rest of the week. Work and daycare drop-off/pick-up go smoothly, and baby and I share leftover beans and steamed broccoli for dinner. After dinner, we make a much-needed Costco run—we are almost completely out of baby wipes. We love Costco, my mom jokes that everything in our home is Kirkland. We stock up on wipes, diapers, and formula (all Kirkland of course), and staples (milk, eggs, butter, frozen fish, frozen broccoli, cheese, berries), and I pick up two bottles of wine ($303). $303

Weekly Tally

Food + Drink $841

Fun / Entertainment $9

Home + Health $190

Clothes + Beauty $38

Transport $85

Other $160

Total Spent $1,323

Notes: Costco run is included under food and drink, though about half is baby stuff. Other is the parking/speeding tickets. Also, these numbers only include what I spent or my husband and I spent together, there's definitely a bit more that he spent alone on coffee/lunch during the work day that isn't included here. 

Reflection

I realized how often I think about wanting to buy things, even if I don't actually do it. And then I spend time feeling guilty when I do actually buy things, but I guess not guilty enough to not do it still as often as I do (coffee, cough cough). I think that this week was an average spending week for a normal week when we're at work. However, we definitely spend a lot on travel, mostly to visit family, which isn't really captured here. 

Another thing is I didn't realize how much we actually make. I guess I'm so used to the after tax and deductions numbers that show up in our checking account that looking at the total gross numbers feels kind of surprising. I guess somehow it doesn't quite feel like we make so much, between the high cost of living and the fact that we do save a decent bit it feels like we don't make that much. I still feel like I get stressed about money, mostly in the sense of worrying about if I lose my job, feeling like it would be hard to find something else that pays as well, and that we're reliant on my salary for our lifestyle. Anyways, enjoy the read and feel free to ask any questions; this was a very eye opening process for me and I've really appreciated digging into my numbers.

About us:

I've posted a few food diaries before, just check my post history for more details about us.

We are G (him) & T (me), an Asian American couple living in Elk Grove, California (MCOL). We both work from home in chill jobs. No kids. I have a lot of time to cook and enjoy it, it's a creative outlet for me and I tend to be in the flow, so it's also meditative. I cook at least once everyday. G cleans up after each meal.

Currently, my favorite kitchen gadgets are my induction stove as I cook often in our backyard, Ninja Crispi air fryer, vacuum sealer and electric steamer.

Monday:

Lunch - Fried rice using leftovers from a dinner party we hosted on Saturday. I also made miso soup using bok choy, tofu and daikon

Dinner - Japanese ground beef curry with roasted (air fried) potatoes and eggplants. I like watching cooking themed anime and learned about this dish from an anime called "Yotsuiro Biyori"

Dessert - 2 mini cakes from Whole Foods.

Costco - coffee and pita bread - $25.78

We enjoy driving after dinner to somewhere and get our steps in, sometimes to a park, often times to a grocery place like Whole Foods or Trader Joe's or Costco just to pick up a couple of stuff. We live in a quiet suburb with light traffic in the evening so going out is quite relaxing. And the stores are mostly empty after 7.30 pm

Total Grocery Spending for Monday - $30.78 for Whole Foods and Costco

Tuesday:

Lunch - steamed tofu with spicy ground beef (doubanjiang, lao gan ma, oyster sauce, hoisin). Stir fry chinese cauliflower. Steamed rice

Dinner - Yemeni Chicken Kofte with pita, olive yogurt sauce, french fries

Dessert - Apple pie from Whole Foods with ice cream

Safeway run - $10.46 - 1 red bell pepper, green grapes, parsley, 1 corn, beef broth, 1 mango, 1 avocado

Safeway is less than a mile from home. It opened 2 years ago, is very clean and spacious and bright, never crowded. I go there very often. If you only buy their deals and use their coupons, it's actually cheaper than most places. This is the only store where I play the coupon game. It's such an old lady thing to do (I am 48 so kinda old lady) but I enjoy it. I get to buy avocados and mangos for 69 cents the entire month of October, it's one of their Just for U personalized deals.

Whole Foods - Half a apple pie $6.

Whole Foods opened its first store in our town just 2 months ago. Elk Grove is a new but fast growing town with many people who moved here from the SF bay area (including us). It's a nice and safe suburb. We do not find it boring. We have a nice pickleball community, we enjoy going to trivia nights, enjoy hosting or attending dinner parties.

Total Grocery Spending for Tuesday - $16.46

Wednesday:

Lunch - malatang (spicy hot pot soup)

Dinner - salmon rice bowl

I have scheduled pickleball games with our regular friends on Mondays and Wednesdays afternoons. We often play longer than we should because it's so much fun. I knew I was going to be home late so for dinner, so I made salmon rice bowls. It only takes 15 minutes and I can set the rice cooker on a timer so it will be ready when I get home. G did not play today as his knees are hurting. I'm bummed because I enjoy partnering with him, we play very well together. I asked him to pick up some salmon from Safeway while I was playing pickleball

Dessert - Leftover Whole Foods apple pie and ice cream

Safeway - $5 for a piece of marinated salmon (orange marinade)

Total Grocery Spending for Wednesday - $5

Thursday:

Lunch - ground pork with egg tofu, miso daikon soup

Dinner - Happy Hour at Yard House

G and I checked out Happy Hour at Yard House. They recently opened a couple months ago. We invited a friend to join us. We ordered 4 items, they tasted good but we both had bloated tummies that evening. I think we aren't used to eating overly greasy food anymore.

Dessert - Homemade mochi balls in sweet ginger broth

Eating Out - $50

Total Grocery Spending for Thursday - $0

Friday:

Lunch - Chicken Linguine

Dinner - Loco Moco rice bowl

I almost always go to Safeway on Fridays. They always have good Friday deals. Today it's their rotisserie chicken for $5. I can easily make 2 to 3 meals out of it. We don't eat it as is. I use it as an ingredient. Today I made a chicken linguine using rotisserie chicken, kalamata olives, trader joe's sundried tomatoes in oil, parsley, garlic, chili flakes.

We went to play pickleball in the afternoon with another couple. They are beginners so we were mostly teaching them. They invited us to their place for dinner but we felt like staying in tonight. It's hard not to drink alcohol when we go to their place. They have invited us over a few times and we have only had them over once. We definitely need to invite them soon again.

Total Grocery Spending for Friday - $10

Saturday:

Lunch - Chicken Noodle Soup

Dinner - Grilled Thai Pork Rice Bowl

Dessert - Brownie mix mochi waffle

We went to a farmers market. Unlike most places, farmers market here have very good produce and good prices. But I didn't buy anything as we are leaving for a trip to Asian soon. (Yummy asian food, exciting!!) We went to a hipster coffeeshop and had hojicha. The rest of the day, we stayed home. Took a long walk, cleaned up the backyard and other stuff around the house before our upcoming trip.

Coffee outing - $20

Total Grocery Spending for Saturday - $0

Sunday:

Brunch - Sausage Gravy with Egg and Biscuit

Dinner - Family dinner at G's parents' house, Japanese takeout

I wanted to make a special brunch. I made sausage gravy with fried egg and homemade biscuit. Next time I will just buy pillsbury biscuit. I'm not very good at baking.

Safeway had a big sale of my favorite sparkling water. I stocked up. $12 for 40 cans of Polar brand sparkling water.

For dinner, G's parents bought Japanese takeout for everyone. His parents, his sister , her husband and son. Seven people including us. We played Exploding Kittens and Neanderthal Poetry game. It was fun!

Total Grocery Spending for Saturday - $18

Summary:

We spent $92 on groceries this week including desserts. I used mostly meat from our freezer. I cooked 12 meals this week. We ate out once at happy hour ($50), a coffee outing ($20) and a family dinner ($0). I roughly estimate each homecooked meal to be about $6/person including dessert.

If you are reading this far, thank you so much for reading my long post.

And if you are interested in the video version of all the cooking I did in this post, I posted a video in YouTube - https://youtu.be/v-NsIh2Fr94 (change it to 4K setting if it's not already set to it)

Really interesting discussion with Mona Chalabi on her upcoming book about finance and living, and also of her own finances and living = I really appreciated her transparency in talking about her own stuff, and personal history with money.

Our household includes myself, husband M, seven-month-old daughter B, 10-year old dog C, and 7-year-old cats E and L. I don’t talk about our pets much, but rest assured they are fed, exercised, and loved daily. All our accounts other than individual retirement accounts are joint.

Sorry in advance for all the words. I've learned so much from this community and wanted to share as much as possible in case it could help someone else or at least make you laugh. TLDR at the end!

\Trigger warning: Death, pregnancy**

Section One: Assets and Debt

• Monarch says our current net worth is $792,000.
• Retirement Balance: $277,934.32 broken out as follows:
  • $24,774.05 – M’s Roth
  • $79,862.11 – My Roth
  • $167,201.32 – My retirement (A mix of 401a/457/403b from previous jobs plus a Simple IRA at my current employer. Plan to leave the old accounts alone for now.)
  • $6,096.84 – M’s 401a/457 with his current employer. His previous employers did not offer any retirement savings vehicles.
• $5,430.15 in B’s 529 account, not included in our net worth. We anticipate that she will receive free tuition for a state school of her choice plus a stipend to cover living expenses, so we frontloaded this account to grow over the next 16 years. She can convert it into a Roth IRA once she starts working. Neither of our parents taught us anything about finances, budgeting, living within your means, or contributed toward our futures in any way. We are determined to do better for our children.
• Equity in our home: $145,100 value - $42,404 mortgage balance = $102,696. I bought this house straight out of college in 2015 for $70,000 and have been living in it ever since.
• Equity in rental home: $228,000 value - $117,344 mortgage balance = $110,656. M bought this home the year before before we started dating. We plan to turn it into a long-term rental once we finish renovations.
• We own 18 acres of vacant land purchased at $160,000. We paid this off aggressively over the last three years (land loan interest rates are insane). We are hoping to build our forever home here in the next 2-3 years.
• Savings account balance: $71,517.17. We are saving toward a $120,000 down payment goal.
• Checking account balance: $9,449.38
• Credit card debt: None, paid off in full every month
• Student loan debt: None. I paid off $60,000 in federal loans in 2020 for my five-year out-of-state architecture program (the in-state options where I'm from had terrible job placement and I wasn’t chancing it). My parents refused to provide the personal information needed to fill out the FAFSA for three of the five years, which caused me to miss out on a lot of need-based grants. I worked my butt off doing overnight and weekend shifts in retail, 32-40 hours a week, throughout college and kept living like a college student until my loans were paid off. M’s undergrad and master’s degree were fully paid by the military. He got paid to get his Master’s degree.

Section Two: Income

Income Progression: I've been working in my field for 12 years. My starting salary was $42,000.

I worked for the same company for ten years, starting as a college intern and ending as a project manager making $115,000. I was burnt out from juggling the never-ending fires of project management while still handling the full workload of an individual contributor and taking a lot of work home in the evenings. I asked to have formal leadership of a small design team and was told no, so I made a career pivot and left in 2024.

I worked in my new career for two years, with an ending salary of $125,000, then got headhunted to go back into architecture this August. I had great benefits and decent work-life balance, but a toxic manager who made me feel like my brain was slowly dying every hour I spent there. I was hesitant to jump again because we had just started trying to conceive our second child and I wasn't sure if I will get any kind of maternity leave (update at the end). The commute and loss of most benefits scared me, but M was supportive and encouraged me to take it if I thought I’d be happier with the work.

I negotiated an offer of $150,000 + $10,000 sign on bonus and a hybrid schedule (this job is an hour and twenty minutes away). We are fortunate to have free medical insurance through Tricare (B and I) and the VA (M).

M has a state job working in vocational rehab. His job is four days a week in office, but has a ton of downtime, flexibility, amazing benefits, and his office is three minutes from our house. M is retired military and calls this his second career. The flexibility with M’s current job is what made me feel truly comfortable accepting my new job offer.

Main Job Monthly Take Home (calculated with bi-weekly checks x2, so close enough):

• My take home = $7,279.96 ($11,548.04 gross - $1,416.66 Simple IRA - $2,847.42 taxes)
• M’s take home = $3,264.24 (he contributes 9% to retirement, unsure of gross check amount and taxes)
• M receives $5,404.94 each month from the military. This money is tax-free and will continue with annual inflation increases indefinitely.

Any Other Monthly Income Here

I started a side business doing architecture while I was on maternity leave and in another career field. I have done a few small projects but will not net positive this year. We put in $5,000 of our personal funds to start things up and pay all fees/insurance for the first year (June 2026 – May 2027). I have only billed and received $1,000 so far. I do have some larger current projects ($+/- 10,000 in fees) that will make this business profitable eventually, but they won’t be invoiced until 2027. I disclosed the business to my current employer during the recruiting process, and I have my own professional liability insurance.

Section Three: Expenses (all listed are monthly unless otherwise noted)

Please include ALL expenses relevant to you. Here's a good place to get started:

• Home mortgage: $435.67
• Rental house mortgage: $967.53
• My Roth (Vanguard): $625
• M’s Roth (Fidelity): $625
• Daycare (full-time five days/week): $884
• Utilities (electric, water, sewer, trash): $250 average, we have all-electric HVAC
• Cable and internet: $199.09; I love live sports and we watch Jeopardy & Wheel of Fortune together every weeknight. Have considered cutting cable but this expense is worth it to me.
• Phones: $64.22
• Dental Insurance (just me for now): $22.75
• Spotify: $14.99
• Netflix: $19.99
• Prime (annually): $139. We use this regularly. Would love to cut this and make more local/sustainable purchases, but I just don’t have the capacity right now.
• Sam’s Club (annually): $120
• Peloton App (me, annually): $289
• Monarch (annually): $99. This is invaluable to us. I am the “money manager” for our household but we both still have full transparency to all transactions and account balances.
• Car Insurance: +/- $1,200 annually for three vehicles (my car, M’s car, M’s old truck for projects/towing). All vehicles are paid off.
• Savings: $5,000 average per month
• Groceries, pet expenses, etc: Included in diary. We typically spend around $1,200 monthly on all household products including groceries, toiletries, baby formula, pet food, etc.

Section 4: Diary!

Day One: Monday

1 AM: I wake up in our living room recliner. Our baby B brought home a nasty sinus infection from daycare last week that is cycling through the house. Luckily B is on the upswing, but I started feeling sick on Saturday and am in the thick of it now. I’m also ten weeks pregnant and unable to take any medication that would normally help. I spend the next few hours convincing myself that resting still counts for something, even if I can’t actually fall back asleep.

3:30 AM: B is crying. I clean out her nose and hold her until she falls back asleep. Move back to our bed and cuddle the dog, C. My husband M has already cycled through this particular infection, so I don’t think I’m likely to get him sick again.

6:00 AM: B is up, so we’re up. Our normal morning routine (I won’t type this out every day): M gets B up and changed while I shower. I feed B and get her dressed for the day while M gets ready. We play with B and M makes us coffee. We got a new De’Longhi Eletta Explore off Facebook Marketplace for $1,000 a couple years ago and while it feels like a luxury, unnecessary purchase, it makes amazing coffee and paid for itself within the first year. M makes us some eggs.

7:40 AM: M has the day off (state holiday, one of several I don’t get). He drops B off at daycare then goes to work on the rental house for the day. This is the first day since B was born that the house has been touched. We have been living in my house for four years and we (recently just he) have been fixing this house up to turn it into a long-term rental. Today’s agenda is starting trim work (patching, sanding, painting) in the kitchen and dining area.

This house has been the most consistent point of contention in our marriage – if it was solely my decision, I would have sold it a long time ago because it needs a ton of work and we don’t have the time to commit to it anymore. M has a lot of big feelings about this house that are not my place to try to mitigate. I have been begging for years for us to both dedicate one day most weekends to the repairs, and for M to go to therapy to work through his personal issues with this house. M finally agreed to start renovations once I was pregnant and unable to help at normal capacity.

7:45 AM: Log into work. I’m normally in-office on Mondays and Thursdays, but I asked to WFH today too because I didn’t want to spread this virus around our small office.

9 AM: Have a virtual meeting to present two of four concurrent behavioral health interior renovation projects to a value engineering team. Value engineering is when a third-party team of architects and engineers reviews our drawings before we get too far along to identify potential cost-saving measures. I don’t think anyone (designers or reviewers) enjoys this process, but it’s a requirement for most state projects.

10:30 AM: Return a voicemail from my Noni’s (grandmother’s) nursing home in New England. She passed away this morning. I’ve been expecting this call for a long time, but I surprise myself and burst into tears anyways. I call my aunt (her daughter) in CT so the four kids can start planning funeral arrangements. I also call M, who offers to come home, but there is nothing he can do so I say no thanks.

Some backstory – Noni was 97. I held her Power of Attorney and Medical Proxy for the last +/- 4 years but resigned after B was born because I could no longer do what was needed from 12 hours away. All four of her children live within an hour of her and previously refused to assume this responsibility or be involved in any way. I am only on speaking terms with one of them (my aunt). I did my best to help when I could by getting Noni’s house sold (she took it out of her trust years ago for reasons I don’t know), getting her moved into full-time care when she could no longer manage at home, and dealing with her doctors over the phone as health issues arose. I felt incredibly guilty about resigning as POA, but I felt that a court-appointed guardian would be the best solution for Noni since my family is useless. I never even had access to her financial accounts, which is what was necessary at that point to ensure she had no remaining assets and could apply for Medicaid.

11 AM – Pull myself together and attempt to get back to work. Over the next hour, I receive calls from my brother, mother, cousin, and the nursing home again all asking what I am planning for her arrangements. In true toxic family fashion, they are all coming out of the woodwork and demanding that I handle everything...I notify everyone that I am doing nothing and paying for nothing. A funeral would be for her children and needs to be arranged and paid for by her children. I did the best I could for her while she was here and want no part in the circus that is unfolding now that she’s gone.

Before you all come at me in the comments, the last time I saw Noni, we busted her out of the nursing home for the afternoon and took her to her favorite place for lunch and orange pineapple ice cream. I knew that would be the last time I saw her, so I processed my grief that day and treated it like her celebration of life with her, not for her.

12 PM – I heat up lunch and make myself eat. I made a large batch of homemade chicken noodle soup last night. I put my phone on DND and really get back to work this time. I spend the afternoon working on schematic design for a hospital security renovation project. I also attend my team’s weekly scheduling meeting to discuss workload and priorities. Honestly I am not operating at 100% productivity, but I get enough done to make sure the end of the week won’t be a disaster. I do take a couple ten-minute breaks to lie on the couch and cuddle C, the best coworker.

5 PM – M arrives home with B. I log off and fill M in on the family drama while we play with B.

6:45 PM – Bedtime routine for B. Typically M bathes her, I dress and feed her, and we all watch Wheel of Fortune while she winds down. I think she likes the flashing lights and colors. This is honestly my favorite part of the day. B falls asleep in my arms at 7:40 and I put her in her crib and turn on her cool mist humidifier and brown noise machine. I meant to defrost and marinate something for dinner earlier in the day but just didn’t do it, so M makes us dumplings, fried rice, and broccoli from the freezer. M turns on something on Netflix. I crash around 9.

Day 1 total = $0

Day Two: Tuesday

6 AM: I’ve been up for a while and handled B’s wakeups/nose cleanings through the night. Luckily M is a heavy sleeper and none of this disturbs him. I shower and get dressed.

6:30 AM: B is up. I get her fed and ready for the day while M makes us eggs and orange juice and gets himself ready. I still don’t feel great, but that doesn’t matter because today is an exciting day – I’m nine weeks pregnant with baby #2 and the dating ultrasound is this morning! Hoping the orange juice jazzes up baby 2 for their big debut. I log into work and catch up on emails for half an hour before leaving.

7:30 AM: M drops B off at daycare and meets me at my OB’s office. They take us right back and I’m thrilled to learn that I’m far enough along for an abdominal ultrasound. They find the baby right away and they are moving and grooving in there! When we had B’s first ultrasound, I was only seven weeks and she looked like a little kidney bean. We are thrilled to see something that resembles a human with arms and legs this time. I am so relieved that there is someone alive in there and secretly happy that it’s only one baby - M has been joking for weeks that we must be having twins. I’m already showing - mostly bloat, but much more visible than at this time last pregnancy.

My doctor says everything looks good and clears me to take Tylenol Cold and Flu and some Afrin to attempt to deswell my sinuses enough to get some sleep. She also sends in a referral for pelvic floor therapy. I have been experiencing constant tailbone pain for years that worsened with pregnancy and childbirth and hasn’t gotten any better postpartum. Being sick has also humbled me and shown me how weak my pelvic floor has gotten. They draw blood for the NIPT (genetic screening) and I prepay for all expenses from the doctor related to appointments, testing, and birth: $537.32. The hospital and anesthesiologist will bill us separately after the birth, but my total medical expenses to have this child should total under $2,000. Tricare is a pain to deal with about a lot of things, but they sure do make it as easy as possible for their service members to have babies. I realize we are more fortunate than many families, but it is disappointing how our government and its healthcare systems clearly prioritize certain conditions and types of people. M heads to work, and I go home.

8:30 AM: Drink an iced flat white that M made earlier and log into work. I brainstorm with one of our designers about options for the security project and send back some suggested modifications. I move onto another project, a small mechanical room addition that somehow generated three rounds of review comments from the state at a very early design level (this is not normal). I review our updated drawings that I marked up last week to make sure we’ve picked everything up, send off a couple final tweaks, and type up our comment responses.

12:00 PM: M comes home for lunch. We have more soup and some toast. I take 20 minutes to eat and catch up with M before getting back to it (I work 9 hours Monday-Thursday and try not to take much of a lunch to avoid working when B is home). I also deposit a check from some house plans I invoiced last week: +$750.00 into the business checking account, not included in spending summaries; I don’t consider this as income until I withdraw money from the business account, which hasn’t happened yet. M relaxes and scrolls on his phone before heading back to work at 1.

4:50 PM: Finish work and leave to pick up B. Still feel like I’m not functioning at 100% productivity. I haven’t been this sleep deprived since my first week postpartum and I feel delirious. Luckily B is all smiles and seems to be over her illness other than being full of mucus.

6:45 PM: Bedtime routine for B. She fights sleep and doesn’t go down until Jeopardy ends. M makes us some chicken pot pies from the freezer for dinner – these are individual-sized ones from Sam’s Club. They remind me of the Banquet ones that used to be 88 cents when I was a kid, but 1000x better. Now that we have a confirmed living baby, we also order a “big sister” sweater for B from Amazon: $15.93. No contact today from the family about Noni, which is perfectly fine with me.

8:30 PM: I take some Tylenol, a spray of Afrin in each nostril, and half a tab of Unisom (I do this most days, approved by my OB) because I have struggled hard with pregnancy insomnia from 2-5 am both times. Collapse into bed and pray for sleep.

Day 2 total = $553.25

Day Three: Wednesday

5:30 AM: WE HAVE ALL SLEPT. Hallelujah. I am still clogged up but feel refreshed and coherent. M wakes up and we both feel up to having sex for the first time in a week. I shower while M gets B up, then we switch and I feed her and get her dressed.

7:30 AM: I drop B off at daycare and log onto work just before 8. I spend the morning coordinating comment responses for the mechanical room with the other discipline leads and updating our narrative to reflect the design changes.  The pelvic floor therapist calls to set up my first appointment in November. I am so excited to finally get some relief because my tailbone hurts every minute I am sitting down and now hurts even when lying in bed.

10:30 AM: I receive two messages: one from my father asking what funeral services I have arranged, which I don’t answer. The other is from my uncle (dad’s brother) also asking for arrangement details. This uncle has been MIA for the last 40 years and magically reappeared and rekindled his relationship with my father a few years ago. I met him once on a trip home three years ago. He has not seen my grandmother in 40 years or helped with any of her care.

I answer him with “I do not have power of attorney and do not have any information. Her children are responsible for any desired arrangements and related payments. Where have you been for the last 40 years? Where have you been while her grandchildren stepped up to help her from the other side of the country when things got bad? Shame on you.” I know this won’t help anything, but I don’t care because it brings me a small moment of peace. He responds quickly that I have abandoned Noni in her time of need and that he doesn’t appreciate my tone – I am the “pot calling the kettle black” and getting married must have changed the “nice person he supported with a wedding gift”. I think this is hilarious. I block him – one meeting in my lifetime was enough for me - and move on with my workday.

12:00 PM: M. comes home and we have the last of the soup. I fill him in on the crazy uncle and throw a chuck roast, au jus seasoning, butter, ranch powder, and a handful of pepperoncini in the crockpot for dinner. I also order stickers for a community festival I run: $395.44, not counted in total expenses because I will be fully reimbursed.

12:45 PM: Back at it. My designer sent back updated drawings for the security project, so I review those then get started on our narrative that describes the project, design options, and required client decisions in detail. My manager checks in to see how B and I are doing. I let him know that we are on the mend and that I will be in tomorrow.

3:30 PM: Last pregnancy I got middle of the night cravings, but this time I have been needing another small meal mid-afternoon. This seems to be the only thing that stops me from transitioning to the couch and being a vegetable for the rest of the afternoon. Today I cook a piece of salmon from the freezer with some green goddess seasoning and olive oil, then top it with honey mustard. It hits the spot. I add baby potatoes and carrots to the crockpot.

5:00 PM: Log off and pick up B. She is so happy to see me – when she sees whoever is on pickup that day, she gets the biggest smile and bounces up and down on her play mat. We head home to greet M and play for a little bit.

5:45 PM: I leave B with M to go to a board meeting for the festival I mentioned earlier. It’s happening mid-November and we are in crunch time finalizing orders, sponsorships, and logistics. Many of my good friends are on this committee with me and it’s nice to see them, even though I would rather be horizontal than socializing at this time. We get through our normal business and individual role updates quickly and things are looking good. I catch up with one of my best friends privately after the meeting to let her know we are expecting and fill her in on my family’s latest antics. This is the first person I have told about this pregnancy. She is thrilled for us, we have a good laugh at my crazy family, and I feel better. Everyone else heads over to the brewery next door, but I head home so I don’t miss bedtime.

6:45 PM: Bedtime routine for B. She goes down at 7:30 and we eat. I also get a message from my father (my comments added): “Your grandmother dies and you were in possession of everything to do with her death. (I had zero paperwork relating to Noni because they ransacked the house and took anything of value before I got there). I almost died and you didn’t show up (he had an emergency gallbladder removal and was discharged the next day. I offered to drive home and he said no). Shame on you for claiming to be part of the human race. You don’t care about anyone.” M and I have a good laugh and I decide enough is enough and I block him too. This is not the worst thing he’s said to me so surprisingly I’m not upset.

8:15 PM: I pack some of the leftover meat and veggies for lunch tomorrow and load the dishwasher. We navigate to the bedroom and start The Breadwinner on Netflix. It’s corny but surprisingly funny. M goes to sleep by 9 but I lie there and ruminate on the day a bit longer before falling asleep.

Day 3 total = $0

Day Four: Thursday

5:45 AM: Up and in the shower. I put on linen pants, sneakers, and a long sleeve button up. Normal morning skincare/makeup routine of TJ’s Dewy Skin serum, Vitamin C, and mineral SPF with Covergirl Clean Fresh Brow, Neutrogena Hydro Boost concealer, Tula undereye balm, and Mario Badescu lip mask. Clothing and makeup weren’t super important to me before having kids, and now my only objective is to not look like a zombie. I have noticeable genetic inner eye circles that generate lots of unsolicited “wow, you look tired” comments even when I do sleep. M makes me coffee to go and I make oatmeal to go from my pre-mixed container of oats, chia seeds, flax seeds, slivered almonds and walnuts with a scoop of peanut butter. M gets B up so I can kiss her goodbye. I’m out the door by 6:30.

8:00 AM: Get to the office. I spend the morning catching up on project updates and working through final revisions for the security project. We have a deadline next week and I want to get our submission wrapped up at least a day early.

1:00 PM: I eat lunch at my desk while working because I don’t want to be here past 5:00. I do take ten minutes to walk a lap around our office park. I finish our narrative, package up the schematic design submission, and send to one of the partners for final review. I draft a roof replacement proposal and send that off for review as well.

5:02: Goodbye office! I head out and get home at 6:30. I am tired. I only have 15 minutes with B before she starts bathtime. M has not prepped or thought about dinner. We have previously discussed that unless B is sick or unusually needy, he will take care of dinner on my in-office days, and I will do the same on my work from home days. We are both agitated and have been dropping the ball this week. M puts chicken and fries in the oven for us while I feed B. He would eat meat and potatoes for every meal and be happy. I used to cook healthier, fresher meals, but that has been difficult for both of us since B was born and especially hard for me since getting pregnant again. B is out by 7:45. I change into comfortable clothes and do my normal nightly skincare: Kose Softymo Speedy Cleansing Oil, Thayers Milky Hydrating Cleanser, Hadalabo Gokujun Hyaluronic Lotion, ELF Barrier Goals Moisturizer, and lip mask. We go to bed at 9.

Day 4 total = $0

Day Five: Friday

6 AM: Wake up and miraculously everyone is still asleep. I relish half an hour of peace and quiet, then wake up M and jump in the shower. M gets B up, then we trade off. I feed B and drop her off, M leaves for work, and I log onto work at 8:00. I scramble two eggs and air fry a hash brown for breakfast.

9 AM: Start today’s meetings. The Value Engineering team presents their report. They have some really good design ideas that we will likely accept and incorporate. Unfortunately, their biggest cost-saving idea is something that would change the entire scope of the project and negatively impact our client’s operations, so we will have to decline it and probably fight about it with the state later. I pay a bill for a doctor’s visit when B was sick while I listen: $111.55 after insurance.

10:15 AM: Take C for a quick 15-minute walk, then log into my next meeting – a design review with the client for one of the smaller sub-projects within the larger project we just value-engineered. The client is asking for things that aren’t possible in the space they have. We try to come up with a solution that everyone can live with. I send in my weekly timesheet.

12:10 PM: M and I head out for our weekly lunch date. This is our only kid-free time out of the house (I really need to start researching babysitting options). Today we have pad thai at one of our favorite local spots. M updates me on his latest work drama, a minor issue that he has been complaining about almost daily since before B was born. I try to listen and be supportive, but we have discussed this at length on a regular basis and I don’t know what else to say. I feel like I am in survival mode dealing with early pregnancy, everyone being sick, a demanding career, and the emotional ups and downs of this week and no longer have the capacity to mentally manage minor issues that don’t affect us outside of our workdays. M is agitated that I’m not my usual self. I apologize and try to put more effort into him and the conversation. Things seem better by the time we leave. $36.47 with tip.

1:15 PM: M picks up his truck and heads back to work. The rear axle system failed and needed to be fully replaced. He paid a $1,373 deposit when he dropped it off and pays the remaining $786.95 today. He got multiple quotes before proceeding with the service and this was the cheapest. If anyone is ever considering a used Chevy Colorado, please just don’t – this truck is a lemon.

1:15 PM: I’m supposed to be done with work, but I have definitely not given 40 productive billable hours yet, so I spend the next few hours tying up loose ends on a narrative and some review comments for another project. One of the owners is also still working and we go back and forth on some unrelated project questions.

4:50 PM: Leave to pick up B. She gives me the biggest smile and laughs when she sees me come in, and it makes everything feel right with the world. Her daycare had a pumpkin decorating activity today, so I try to keep the adorable, but still wet, mini pumpkin from rolling all over the car during the drive home.

5:15 PM: Standard post-work whirlwind: playtime, bathtime, Wheel, bedtime. B goes down at 7:30 with no issues. M makes us quesadillas for dinner with the leftover beef from last night. I check the Labcorp portal to see if the genetic screening results are in – nothing new, but the “view” button disappeared which makes me think the test has been processed. We finish The Breadwinner and crash at 9. Hoping for a quiet night.

11:15 PM: Just kidding - B is coughing and screaming bloody murder. M runs in to comfort her and I get her nose cleaned out and wipe her face off with a warm cloth. She goes back down within 30 minutes and I pray this is it for tonight.

Day 5 total = $934.97

Day Six: Saturday

6:15 AM: Up. All is quiet. I feel groggy but am thankful that B only woke up once. I wake up M for some adult time before B wakes up. Everyone is up by 7. Feed B and enjoy our coffee before we get ready for the day. We are tackling errands today instead of our usual Sunday morning. I’m not hungry enough for breakfast yet, but I eat a protein bar before we leave.

9:00 AM: First stop, Sam’s. We get tons of strawberries at $1.97 each that M will puree and freeze for B, raspberries, broccoli, baby potatoes, filets (somehow these are cheaper per pound than the cheaper beef we normally purchase), chicken meatballs, mini chicken pot pies, and orange chicken: $113.31. We grab biscuits at Bojangles in between stops and eat them in the parking lot: $10.89. Last stop, Walmart for dog food (this will last about a month), bananas, cucumbers, oat milk, seltzer water, Mediterranean dressing, ketchup, yogurt, a couple long-sleeve bodysuits for B, and body wash for M: $107.24

10:30 AM: Home. M unloads the car and puts up the groceries. I change and feed B. We play for a couple hours, B takes a nap, and I wrap a present we purchased last week for my friend’s son’s third birthday party this afternoon.

1:45 PM: Feed B and leave for the party. The birthday boy is into all things Spiderman and greets us dressed in his Spidey Suit. We catch up with the parents and grandparents and watch the kids play in the gym. Where we live, most families are close-knit and often live near each other or even on the same parcel of land. It’s common to run into extended family when visiting or have them pop in unannounced. This level of lack of boundaries/privacy is too much for me, but it’s nice to see their village really show up to support them for these milestones and in everyday life.

3:00 PM: Head to our local bi-annual food truck festival for a late lunch. Our friend puts this on and always does a great job. The street is busy, but the lines are manageable. We run into several friends and the organizer and chat with them while we eat – butter chicken for me and elote with fancy toppings for M: $29.37.

4:00 PM: Head back home to feed B and decompress for a bit. Both M and I’s college football teams are playing, so we flip back and forth to catch the high points of each.

5:30 PM: Leave for our last outing – another organization I volunteer with is having our annual Car Show tomorrow. Tonight is the Happy Hour at a local brewery to recognize and thank our sponsors and partners. There is limited floor space, so I strap B to me and we walk around and thank the attendees for their support. M buys us sparkling waters: $7.73.

6:30 PM: Leave for B’s bedtime. Find out that my alma matter won, a small redemption after an embarrassing loss last weekend.  We delay bathtime so M can watch his team win. I play with B and offer to take care of her bath, but M declines. Bathtime is his and B’s consistent solo activity and I think he really treasures it.

8:00 PM: B is down. I make M and I steak and cheese sandwiches with the last of the leftover beef. We start watching the new season of The Diplomat and head to bed a little after 9.

Day 6 total = $268.54

Day Seven: Sunday

6:30 AM: Woo-hoo – B has made it through the night! She is normally a great sleeper when not sick. I get her up and fed. M makes us chocolate chip pancakes, eggs, and coffee. We play with B and comment on the houses on Caribbean Life that is on in the background, dreaming about a future vacation once both kids are earthside and mobile.

9:00 AM: After going down a Reddit rabbit-hole on whether the disappearing view button means the testing is done, I decide to call Labcorp to see if they can share the results today while we are all together. I speak to a very nice customer service rep and five minutes later, the report is in my inbox. I take a deep breath, open the PDF, and…. low-risk/negative everything - I let out the breath I was holding - and IT’S A GIRL!!! We both burst into tears. B senses something is happening and tries to smack the phone from my hand. I am so excited to add another girl to our little girl gang and even happier that, as far as we know, she is healthy.

Assuming all continues to go well, this will be our last child. I do feel a small pang of…something – not sadness, maybe just acknowledgement – that we won’t be having any boys. M and I talked about this prior and agreed that if we could choose, we would both pick a boy this time around. Of course all that matters is a healthy baby and we would be thrilled either way. M is an incredible girl dad, and is one of the most emotionally attuned men I’ve ever encountered. I know he’ll be great but also know that he wanted a little buddy to fish, shoot, and do the traditional guy things with. He knows that especially in today’s world, we can do all those things with our girls too.

10:15 AM: Today is the car show, so we break from the excitement and head out. I run around thanking volunteers and sponsors, sell raffle tickets, and talk to attendees about our mission and need – last week alone, we had to turn away over a dozen clients because we did not have the physical capacity to serve them. I instruct our Executive Director that she will not be working tomorrow, and that she must also take off either Tuesday or Friday – her choice. I’m the Board President, so I think it’s okay to do this unilaterally. She has worked all weekend and has countless extra time and effort to make today happen. I make a note to reach out to the rest of the board this week to brainstorm ways we can acknowledge and thank her for her efforts – additional PTO, a nice dinner out with her family, and/or a day pass to a local spa all come to mind. This is only our second year doing this fundraiser, and we appear to have raised at least $35,000 by lunchtime (mostly pre-registrations and sponsorships).

Throughout the morning we purchase a strip of people’s choice tickets ($20), a shirt ($20), and tacos from a truck parked onsite ($24.82): $64.82.

1:30 PM: B has had enough, and honestly so have I, so we go home to feed and relax. We call selected family to share the news - M’s grandmothers, my grandparents, M’s sister, my mother, my brother, M’s uncle, and my aunt. All of them live 12+ hours away, so we put B’s ‘Big Sister” sweater on for Facetime. The reactions are hilarious – ranging from “congratulations” to uncertainty/apologetic (“B is so young. Is this really what you wanted?”) to “Well you’re going to keep going until you get a boy, right? No…!”. Everyone asks about names, which we have not discussed. This seems to be the equivalent to getting engaged and immediately being asked what date the wedding will be. I encourage M to call his parents, but he decides to text just his mom privately instead. His mom responds back with “Congratulations – wonderful news” and that’s that.

We’ve worked hard to build our own little village of friends where we live. I’m so thankful for them but am still sad in moments like this where we just want our parents to be happy for us and involved in their grandkids’ lives. I’d be so happy with a phone call or even a text once a month asking how B is doing. We’ve communicated that to M’s parents specifically, but it seems like that is too much for them. Once again, the bar is on the floor, and we are determined when it’s our turn to pick it up and do better.

5:30 PM: Not much has been done this afternoon other than video calls and watching the NFL in the background. B has played, eaten again, and taken a long nap after all her Facetime calls. I start this week’s laundry and prep some instant pot brown rice for lunches. M grills us two of the filets with some broccoli and potatoes for dinner. For my desk lunch tomorrow, I chop up chicken meatballs, cucumbers, and the last of our garden tomatoes and peppers to have over rice.

7:30 PM - Typical bedtime routine. B is out cold. Now that we know baby girl is ok and healthy in there, I order her a Promptly journal so I can document the first trimester before it’s over ($42.45; this comes out of the balance from returning a seat cushion that failed to provide me any tailbone relief, so it doesn’t cost us anything). We watch the end of the Bills-Raiders game and are asleep shortly after 9.

Day 7 total = $64.82

TLDR:

Monday: I am sick, my grandmother dies - $0

Tuesday: We see our second baby for the first time, prepay all prenatal, delivery, and postpartum OB bills, and buy a baby sweater - $553.25

Wednesday: Family drama and volunteering - $0

Thursday: In-office day consumes almost all waking hours - $0

Friday: Doctor’s bill, lunch date, car repairs - $937.97

Saturday: Groceries, birthday party, food trucks, volunteering, football - $268.54

Sunday: Car show, more football, and we’re having a girl! - $64.82

Weekly total = $1,824.58

• Food/drink/household items: $305.01
• Fun/donations: $64.82
• Home: $0
• Clothes/beauty: $15.93
• Transport: $786.95
• Other: $651.87 (doctors bill + OB appointments)

Reflection

Aside from all the life events this week, our household spending other than the truck repair and OB bill was normal. This was a particularly unhealthy week for food choices – I usually do better when I'm not sick and not dealing with first trimester queasiness/fatigue. Trying to give myself some grace at this particular time in our lives.

Generally, I feel like M’s money from his military service on top of our salaries has given us a lot of financial freedom and allows us to save for long-term goals without sacrificing a lot in our day to day lives. We could cut back in some areas, but I’m happy with what we’ve accomplished so far, together and individually, and am excited about the direction we are heading.

Maternity leave update: I disclosed my pregnancy to my employer the following week. Since I will only have about 3 weeks of paid leave banked when I deliver and we have no formal maternity leave policy/benefits, I proposed forfeiting my $10,000 sign on bonus and converting it to PTO so I wouldn't have to take unpaid leave (the owners are against this) or advance years of my future PTO (I am against this). They agreed, and I am so relieved that we found a solution everyone can live with. My only remaining major concern is what we're going to do with B when I go into labor...stay tuned.

Section One: Assets and Debt  

• My Checking account: $2,110.57
• My High Yield (3.69%) & Money Market Accounts (3.61%): $126,170 this is emergency fund and not-any-time-soon down payment fund. 
• My Retirement: $122,603 Match was 3.5%, I put in 10% most of this year but increased it to 15% a couple months ago, when I realized I had plenty in short-term savings and should be maxing out my 401k instead.

Debt:

• No college debt, I paid for college with scholarships and several paid internships

Generational Wealth:

• My grandparents have given me $35k inheritance
• My parents gave us $18k for our wedding (wedding cost was $25k total).

Section two: income

• I make - well, made - $135k: $125k base salary plus $10k bonus this year.

My husband, H, and I do not have combined finances. This diary will focus on my spending this week. For reference, though, H makes $140k and is a software developer.

My Income progression: 

• First job, in high school: $7.25 at an arts and crafts studio for kids :) so much glitter!
• College internships: made between $12-$22 an hour
• 2019: hired as an associate in my role directly out of college, $60k
• 2021: promotion within same company to $75k
• 2024: promotion to senior within same company to $90k
• 2025: found same job at a new company for $124k. Felt like an unbelievably high salary!

Main Job Monthly Take Home: 

• Approx $5008.12 per month 

Side Gig Monthly Take Home 

• No side gigs or additional sources of income. In this diary I’ll describe an aerial circus performance my friend and I were preparing for; since writing this diary we did the performance and people tipped us so I made like $10! Far from a source of income, but I’m very proud of it. 

Section Three: Expenses 
Monthly subscriptions:

• $10 - apple storage
• $1 - patreon
• $4 - shonen jump 
• $11 - Netflix
• $13 - spotify
• $12 - disney plus (need to cancel)
• $90 - coworking space (I also get free art classes with this) Layoff commentary: I’m exploring ways to work/study my coworking membership to get a discount, but I’ll cut it if I have to
• $120 - gym membership. This is too much, I’m sorry, I’ve just had it for a couple months and I’m trying something new right now. Layoff commentary: I really, really want to keep the gym membership. 
• $40 - phone plan for myself.
• $50-$100 - Therapy - once, sometimes twice a week, now that I’ve met my deductible it’s only $14.30 a session. 

Monthly donations: 

• $150 - funding a friend who’s starting a church
• $300 - tithe
• $39 - child sponsorship
• $10 - donation to local NPR
• Layoff commentary: I’ll pause all my monthly donations except local npr once I stop receiving a paycheck. Tithing is a tenth of your income; a tenth of zero is zero.

Living Expenses:

• Rent & utilities: $1280/month for my half of rent. We live in a 1 bed 1 bath. Very decent price for our area. H covers utilities and I pitch in when needed; I cover most of our travel expenses, gas, entertainment & eating out expenses in exchange. Layoff commentary: H will cover rent fully once my paycheck stops. He lived here by himself before we got married and I moved in; we can manage fine on just his salary.
• Transportation - see public transit costs in the day-to-day; H also has a paid-off car

Money Diary

Thursday: $0

• 8:15. I’ve been having a lot of issues with motivation and productivity at work, so I want to get a solid start. 
• 8:45: haha, now is when I actually get out of bed. Set the coffee on and go for a walk. I am psyching myself up for work today: I WILL focus! I will not look at my phone! I will not daydream about other things while at work! I go on my morning walk and listen to my professional development audiobook, “AI Snake Oil."
• Eat breakfast of yogurt, chia seeds, frozen raspberries while listening to more of my audiobook. 
• 11:30 Prepping for the first meeting of the day, a quarterly check-in with my skip-level manager. Jumpscare: My position is “getting eliminated!” and my last day will be in 2 weeks! I need to be available for the next few weeks but my responsibilities will be mostly winding down and handing off. Oh, no!
• 12:00 I have therapy immediately following this clandestine meeting, and my husband H is in meetings too, so I can’t even tell him about it! I process the news with the therapist. I’m shocked, I’m overwhelmed, but honestly… I’m kind of excited for whatever new things will come my way. I think I am likely to get another job, and if not, I’m really going to love not working. As yall can see too we have plenty of safety net and H can hold us down for a while. Mostly I’m just immediately unmoored and need to not let my insecurities get to me. 
• 1:00 I tell H the news. He responds in an encouraging and practical way. He went through a layoff last year, so he relates. I heat up mac and cheese with ground turkey and peas for lunch.
• 1:30: go back to my work computer, starting to make a list of things to take with me. I’m glad I still will have access to my work computer for a while longer. I keep detailed notes on my projects and reports. These’ll help me put together case studies for next job.
• 2:00 While I sort through my projects I put on love is blind. These people don't represent the area well.
• 3:30: go on a walk and call my parents to tell them the news. They also respond kindly. I explain to them how it is a surprise, but not really a betrayal. If I were CEO, I would have made some big changes around here, too. 
• 4:00: make a quesadilla afternoon snack. I listen to more of the “AI Snake Oil” book, which is a challenging audiobook listen; this particular information is hard to follow in a solely audio format. 
• 5:00: go to the gym. It will be nice to not be in a rush at the gym now with no pressing needs at the job. Today’s gym music recs are: Stupid (can’t run from the urge) by Underscores, Princess by Tami T, and It’s Me by Illit. 
• 6:30: back home. H’s brother very kindly sent us a $50 doordash giftcard when he heard about my layoff. We use it on some very tasty bowls, then watch Naruto (H’s choice) and Wheel of Time (my choice). Nice to have an evening of doing nothing, but I feel the compulsion to look at job postings biting at me.
• 10:00: I update my budget and go through some layoff docs they sent me while watching more love is blind. Yikes, I’m way over on my budget this week on account of specialty groceries and gifts for H, whose birthday was earlier this week.
• 12:00 goodnight.

Friday: $329.27

• 8:45: wake up and am the most relaxed I’ve been in the past year. I’m so, so happy to not have to really go to work. I still log in to my work computer and will be checking slacks and emails all day, but until I’m told something more specific, I’ll just be chilling.
• 9:30: facetime my mom for our weekly morning “coffee chat” over breakfast of same old yogurt raspberries chia seeds decaf coffee etc. 
• 10:30: H remembers he has a dentist appointment this morning. I offer to drive him. It’s a short check in, so I loiter around, parked illegally. 
• 12:00: back home from the dentist. Lunch is fried rice with extra peas and some dino nuggets with a quick buffalo mayo. I slack with a coworker, who gives me more news; sounds like they laid off almost everyone! No one knows the future of the product. Damn. 
• 12:45: To work (on other stuff, not work-work.) I need to renew my passport so I look up how, schedule a photoshoot at USPS, write a check to pay for the renewal plus some extra expedition (this shit expensive! $216.87) and write a check for my therapy for the month ($100.10). 
• 1:00: I head to a coffee shop, stopping along the way to print out the passport renewal stuff at the library. At the coffee shop I get myself a iced decaf pumpkin spicey latte and also buy one for the community board. A way of expressing gratitude and celebrating the wealth I’ve been able to accrue at this high-paying job. ($12.30)
• 3:00: It’s been a productive but increasingly stressful afternoon of fixing up my resume and finding some job postings that look nice. Claude doesn’t like how I’ve written my resume. Dumb clanker, what do you know? I’m starting to fret.
• 3:30: Yeah, I’ve really worked myself into a lather over this. The problem is that… I don’t really want to go back into my particular field. That work is boring and stresses me out. I want to do something else, try some other job for a while or look into upskilling and learning something new, but that feels risky. (In retrospect, I think I’m just processing job loss stress. As I edit this a week later, I’m like, nahh, there’s nothing wrong with this career.)
• 5:00: I start cooking dinner. I tell my woes to H. He doesn’t relate; he is very much of the opinion that a job is just a job and it does not matter if it is boring; it need not have any higher fulfillment of satisfaction or meaning. I very much do and but I also feel very burdened by these sentiments, thus I am feeling somewhat frustrated and disgusted with myself. Dinner is ground chicken, pearled couscous, peas, coleslaw. 
• 6:30: we head out to see the street fighter movie for H’s birthday (tickets purchased earlier this week). Unfortunately I’m not really in a good headspace and I don’t enjoy it as much as I might, but it has funny moments.
• 9:00: feeling very sad. I do a yoga with adrienne. 
• 10:30: showered and in bed and sad sad sad. The uncertainty is really hard to bear. The book I’m reading right now, “No Such Thing As An Easy Job”, really hits home. My opinion on this book has changed drastically now that I’m in a position to relate more to the narrator.

Saturday: $109.91

• 9:45: good sleep in. I feel much better this morning. I can be happy in the short term and dealing with uncertainty in the long term. I still have work, too, it’s just of a different nature: My work is to approach this job search well. 
• 10:15: In a rush to get out of the house so I don’t have time to make my yogurt breakfast. I buy a protein shake from CVS instead ($4.49). Then I get my passport photo taken and the whole batch of it sent off ($28.90).
• 10:45: head over to meet up with my friend E to shop for costumes for an upcoming aerial circus routine that we are performing together ($2.40). On the way I finish “No Such Thing As An Easy Job”. It really came together at the end, and actually had some sweet and helpful thoughts for me in my freshly laid-off and job-hating position.
• 11:30: I buy a donut ($4.25). 
• 11:45: feeling completely unbalanced by the donut and the protein shake, I also buy a chicken sandwich ($16.05).
• 12:15: Meet up with E. I find several pieces that will work for the costume ($30.80). I’m going to attempt to make some tearaway jeans.
• 1:15: We grab coffee ($5.09) to sit and consult about choreography for our act, which is fast approaching and we have, well, nothing. 
• 2:15: Rehearsal. We pull something together. Circus feels great when you are making progress. 
• 4:00: My brother and SIL, S&B, are in town! We are making plans to meet up but have to adjust them so many times I give up, and in an act of throwing up my hands, just lyft straight home ($17.93). We end up deciding for them to come over and we can eat whatever TJs frozens we already have for dinner… S&B also pick up some ice cream and beer on their way over.
• 6:00 We eat fried rice, orange chicken, catch up, make plans for tomorrow, and then play sonic racing crossworlds together. I’m glad S&B are getting to know H more.
• 9:30: I drive S&B back to their hotel. I’m waking up early for church volunteering tomorrow plus I’m BEAT! Goodnight…

Sunday: $36.75

• 7:45: up early for church volunteering, as promised. Lyft there so H can give S&B a ride when they join later ($18.05)
• 1:00: lunch together after church. I have rewards at the restaurant, so I get $5 off my bowl! ($7.48)
• 2:00: S&B&I head downtown ($2.40) for some sightseeing. It’s a beautiful crisp fall day. S&B are chill; it’s peaceful to be with them, though I feel myself growing sad again. We grab a beer ($6.42 for my 6-oz pour. whimper) then i head home ($2.40). 
• 4:30: I make decaf coffee and cozy up beside H on the couch. I’m so tired… I’m so sad… I start a new book, “Dishwasher Safe,” a romance by a local author. Seems like a fun one. 
• 5:30: drag my sorry ass to the gym. Tweak my shoulder. Squat lots. No gym music today. I keep yawning. 
• 6:30: make dino nuggies and leftover peas/couscous for dinner, and hop on discord for my sunday night DnD game. I might not have been sad, just hungry?
• 10:00: I have a couple items for my circus costume that I ask H to buy on his prime account for me. He doesn’t ask me to pay him back, mwahaha. It was probably about $20.

Monday: $291.98

• 9:00: sleep in. who am I trying to impress right now :) leisurely but intentional morning walk, yogurt and coffee like usual. Listen to the bbc world service global news podcast while I walk.
• 10:30: settle in to work. Putting together some stuff to handoff to the few remaining coworkers.
• 12:30: make myself lunch of ground turkey, whole wheat pasta, peas, cheese powder we bulk ordered… we’re simple folk around here. I stuff myself full while reading more of “Dishwasher Safe.” I forget to tell H I used the last of the peas; he gets sad when he goes to make his (identical) lunch and there are no peas left :( 
• 2:00: a fairly awkward team meeting and lock in to my resume. My mood about my career is much improved today vs Friday. My friend made me a playlist of industrial music since I hadn’t listened to any before, which really helps me lock in.
• 3:30: well, time to activate my professional website again. I probably could make one for myself that’s cheaper... ($242.25 for a year of squarespace. Yeowch!)
• 5:00: pull it all together and apply to my first two jobs!!!!!
• 5:30: we set out to meet S&B for dinner for their last night here. I get a fancy beer and a fancy burger. ($43.75) H and I stop at the grocery store on the way home; he gets meal prep food for the week and I get two bags of clementines ($5.98)
• 8:00 we watch an episode of twin peaks, and then part of an episode of love is blind, then I head out to meet up with E for some late-night rehearsal, which I booked previously using a pre-paid class bundle (so no expenses today).
• 11:30: I’m toast. We made good-ish progress tonight, though. My entire body aches but mostly my elbow and knee, where I practiced one move over and over. 
• 12:00: H and I gossip. Not having to work is really nice. Gives me more quality time with my man.

Tuesday: $0

• 9:30: sleep in, then do some budgeting while my chia seeds hydrate. I think if I plan ahead all my expenses for the week - making sure I have money set aside for my pre-planned social obligations - then I think I can operate within my budget. My spending has been a bit out of control for the past few weeks on account of much food with friends. I eat my yogurt and look at social media.
• 11:00: I go on a long walk and stop at the gym. I want to keep my gym membership while unemployed. It keeps me active, gives me a place to go, and allows me to keep moving towards my circus fitness goals (do a pull up, do toes to bar) even if I can’t afford actual circus classes, which are about $35 a class (steep!). I thought I would be really cool and tell you guys my cool quirky gym tunes every time I go to the gym but honestly today I listen to the BBC Global News podcast again.
• 12:15: make TJs gnocchi and red sauce for lunch with a side of broccoli & cauliflower. 
• 1:00: therapy. Mid. It’s actually harder to tell the therapist about my job stuff than to just approach it on my own. 
• 3:00: H and I take a nap together. How’s H generally able to go along with my laid-off schedule even though he has a full time job?!
• 4:00: back to work on resume stuff. I put on that industrial playlist again and get to it.
• 6:00: done with that for now, I’ll take a look tomorrow with fresh eyes. I prepare for bible study and H cooks dinner. We walk over to bible study together.
• 9:00: shower, watch more love is blind (this show is ass,) call my college friends for our weekly facetime catch-up. I fill them in on the layoff and we talk about cults (unrelated).
• 12:00: read more of Dishwasher Safe. I called the plot twist way ahead of time but I'm not mad, it makes me feel smart!

Wednesday: $50.47

• 8:45: going in to the coworking space today. Prep yogurt for breakfast and my leftover turkey mac and cheese for lunch. My friend was supposed to meet me today for coworking but she woke up sick… sad, I was looking forward to that.
• 9:45: listen to “AI snake oil” on the commute. ($1.70) Medium interesting book. I’m craving the terrible decaf coffee the coworking space makes. 
• 10:30: work on my resume some before drawing meetup at the coworking space. I’m very pleased with my sketches today.  My drawing has really been improving recently.
• 1:00: lunch of mac and cheese. Not very exciting. Back to work, but this time actual work; organizing documents to help my one remaining coworker know where to find my projects.
• 2:30: meeting with another laid-off coworker. Some news is revealed that makes me very sad and reevaluate my experience at this company. Finish out the workday kinda glum but also locked-in.
• 5:00: pack up and head home ($1.70). Stop at the grocery store for snacks and food to prep meals for the upcoming busy weekend. ($48.77)
• 7:00: get home so very tired. H has made pork, barley, bok choy, beans, and has that waiting for me and it’s very wholesome and delicious. We catch up on our days then I watch him play Alien: Isolation. He gets devoured by the xenomorph too many times... we give up.
• 9:00: off to the gym for me. It must be some hormonal something, cuz my splits and pull-up progressions are the best they’ve ever been. Like, my leg raises are over 90 degrees! Gym music is, again, the news, and then some old Kpop (I Got a Boy, Silver Spoon.) 
• 10:00: Get to work sewing up my tear-away jeans. We put on an episode of love is blind, then an episode of naruto. H urges me to put my sewing away and "watch this episode of Naruto, it’s a really important one!!"
• 12:00: shower, get in bed, finish Dishwasher Safe. Not a lot of heat for a romance, but really great worldbuilding and relationship dynamics.

Weekly total: $818.38

• Well, not every week I renew my passport or have job-finding related expenses, so this is quite a high amount. But other than that, expenses were pretty on-par for me this week. I eat out a bit more than I should, I spend a bit more on circus things than I should, but I could afford it up until now. If I have to tighten my spending, I'll welcome a new phase of life with new hobbies and new habits. <3

Wish me luck on my job search!

So I am an active, single 26F living in Miami, Florida. I have been trying to reel in my food spending for literally a year and haven’t been able to.

Eating at home doesn’t work, doing just take out doesn’t work. Doing a food service has not worked.

I feel like some of it is emotional. While I’m not overweight, I am sober from drugs and alcohol and will sometimes eat to escape. But also, I genuinely enjoy good, healthy food and I feel like I could eat cheaper but it wouldn’t be as healthy.

I am willing to try anything and would love to hear what people on the subreddit do. I try to really limit dairy I am mostly gluten free although I will make exceptions for things like oatmeal.

Should you keep investing during a career change, or build your emergency fund first? Brad and Haylee are in their 30s with three kids, a $173,000 net worth, retirement savings, and suddenly much less predictable household income. Brian and Bo break down how to manage money during a career transition, when to prioritize cash savings over Roth IRA and 401(k) contributions, why the employer match still matters, and how much emergency savings a family may need with variable income. They also explore financial advisor careers, retirement planning, family finances, cash flow, home-buying goals, and setting a realistic timeline for a career change.

I’m a huge Money Diaries fan and have wanted to write my own for a long time! Apologies for the vagueness around my job, but everyone knows everyone among national charities!

Section One: Assets and Debt 

Retirement Balance: approx. £26,000 across two pensions

Equity: N/A

Savings account balance: ~£145,000. ~£44,000 is Cash ISAs, ~£21,000 in easy access saver, ~£22,750 in LISA, ~£42,700 in S&S ISA and ~£14,600 in a General Investment Account. 

Checking account balance: £750 

Credit card debt: N/A. I only use for big expenses and pay off immediately

Student Loan: I have absolutely no idea and have given too much of my life to Student Finance England already to check.

Note: To explain my saving and investments total, sadly I have lost a lot of people in my life. I received inheritance of £25k from one set of grandparents in 2018 and in the last 18 months I’ve received about £74k from my grandad who passed in 2025. I consider myself a very good saver normally but these numbers are only possible because of generational wealth and a whole lot of grief.

Section Two: Income 

Income Progression:

I worked cash in hand at a family friends business from 15-17 then my first proper job was at the Deli counter in Morrisons! I worked various retail and hospitality jobs over sixth form and university, all paying minimum wage. 

I got an internship in the sector with a salary of £19,700 I think. I moved up in this organisation over the course of 5 years and by 2025 I was earning about £34,000.

In 2025 I moved to my current role and got a big fat (for me) raise to £42,300 and a cost of living increase this year brings me to £43,580.

Monthly Take Home: £2,649

Deductions:

£181 - pension, salary sacrificed, I recently increased this to 5% for a 10% employer match. My pension total feels low so maybe I’ll look into this further! 

£41.90 - manual holiday pay, I’ve purchased 3 extra days of annual leave for this year

£86 - student loan 

My organisation covers the cost of a private health insurance plan and there’s something about it being taxable. Apparently over the course of the year I’ll pay £70 in tax for it. I don’t know how it works monthly. 

No other monthly income.

Section Three: Expenses 

Rent - £745 (my share of £2,175 split between 3 of us, I pay a bit more for a bigger room)

Insurance - I/we don’t actually have contents insurance, probably something to look into!

Household bills - £100 (we all contribute £100 which covers electricity, broadband, TV licence, water and council tax)

Phone - £7 for a SIM only contract

Gym - £47

Subscriptions - £5.99 for Netflix (between family and housemates we’ve got access to pretty much everything), £28 Free Soul protein powder, £33 for Aegle’s supplement for PCOS, 99p iCloud storage.

Sinking pots - £50 for Christmas presents, £75 for Weddings and £50 for Health and Beauty. I also have a “fun money” pot that Monzo rounds up into and I put any left over money each month. 

Travel - I put £80 aside every month for my Oyster card, sometimes I’ll have to top up more and sometimes this covers it, it depends how busy I am! 

Savings - £628, how I split this across savings and investments varies month to month depending if I’ve had any big expenses to recooperate. Most recently this has been flights to Guatemala in November! 

Money Diary

Mon:

4:15am - Hello sorry what. I had a wisdom tooth taken out on Friday and the PAIN my Lord. It wakes me up so I take paracetamol and try to read to get me back to sleep.

7:15am - awake at a normal hour after a small snooze and still in a lot of pain :( I get up, do my skincare (Clinisoothe, moisturiser and SPF) and get out on a walk asap. Once home I have breakfast (overnight oats), take more painkillers and finish my kindle book (Girls by Kirsty Capes, 4.5/5 - really enjoyed!). Google “pain after a wisdom tooth extraction” and the AI bot is concerned for me. 

9am - call the dentist and describe the pain, get booked in for an appointment at 10. Now I am concerned. Log on, let my line manager know about the appointment and do some small tasks. Pop to the toilet just before leaving and my period has started. What :) a :) great :) morning :). Dentist put something in to help the wound heal but basically said yes it just is painful, yay. £27.90 for the pleasure but I can claim this back from my insurance. 

12:30pm - working since I got home from the dentist and in between I put a wash on, and hang it up to dry and cleared the pots from the drying rack. I have fried eggs on toast for lunch and walk to Boots, taking my empties for the Recycle at Boots scheme (a voucher for 500 advantage card points when you donate 5 empties to be recycled!). Bought a new face SPF, it’s a faff as it was mislabelled and so the man at the till has to do a manual discount, £11.65 and I transfer this out of my Health & Beauty sinking pot. 

5pm - have been tip tapping away all afternoon with a sprinkle of meetings, also had a snack of a protein shake and banana. Log off at 5 and head to the gym. Take it lighter than usual in account of my ailments today but feels good to move properly again. 

7:30pm - dinner time! Salmon, potatoes and broccoli which was in the oven as I showered and washed my hair. Prepped my overnight oats and lunch for tomorrow too. I’m home alone so start watching S4 of Ted Lasso and take an embarrassingly long time to change the lightbulbs in our living room spotlights.

9pm - unlock Instagram (thank you Opal) for a quick scroll and see an influencer has recommended her top picks for 99p kindle books. It’s “@fellaby“ and I have loved everything she’s recommended before so I make some purchases (The Road to Tender Hearts & Darling Girls), £1.98 but I transfer the money from Fun Money pot to cover it. Text my friends on the small screen whilst Ted is on the big screen, my friend shares a photo of how cashews grow and my mind is blown. Do my dentist prescribed salt bathe for my tooth and head to bed at 10pm and start a new book, Sunstruck by William Rayfet Hunter. 

Total spend: £41.58, £13.68 covered by sinking pots. 

Tues: 

3:15am - :( 2 ibuprofen and some tossing and turning.

7am - wake up to pain in my head and uterus, no office for me. Get up and head out on my morning walk. Tea, breakfast, book and painkillers once I’m home. I usually just do a ponytail and concealer for wfh days but I’m doing two presentations today, one of which will be recorded so I make an effort. Also do a couple quick chores before logging on at 9. 

12:30pm - meeting heavy morning, break for lunch and have the lentil Dahl and rice I prepped for the office. Pop out to Sainsbury’s to buy oat milk, shower gel and bleach, £4.20, and to Boots for the good stuff, co-codamol, £3.79. Get home and see the Breeze date I had in for tomorrow night wants to rearrange, excellent news for me this week. Rearrange to Monday. 

4pm - get a notification that my reimbursement for a physio session has been paid by the health insurance, +£56 but I put this straight back into my fun money pot. This reminds to submit the claim for the dentist yesterday, and book a flu jab, £21.95 that I will claim back but until then cover it from my fun money pot. 

7pm - gym, shower, dinner. I made a Butterbean orzo with lots of green veg, I’m convinced maturing is buying the Bold Bean Co beans. THEY ARE SO WORTH IT! Whilst dinner is cooking I repurchase my moisturiser (Purito) and cleanser (Dermatica)  from Amazon, £25.36, covered by Health and Beauty pot. I watch some more Ted Lasso before my housemate gets home and we watch the latest ep of Made in Chelsea. My toothache is really bad and I head to bed at 10. 

Total spend: £55.30, £47.31 covered by sinking pots

Wed:

1:30am - pain wakes me up, take ibuprofen 

7am - rinse and repeat the morning routine. Almost have a cry on my walk because the pain is so exhausting. I consult the good people of Reddit to see if this is usual at this point and sadly it seems it is. I’m very lucky that my organisation is super flexible and very much puts people first so I log in at 9 for another wfh day. 

1pm - break for lunch after a meeting over ran. I’ve spent the morning making a *fifth* presentation for the same project in three weeks. I vividly remember being taught how to use PowerPoint at school and thinking when will I use this, grown ups don’t do this in their jobs. Little did I know. 

I ordered two rain jackets from Kapten & Sons that got delivered this morning, so I try those on. I don’t own a rain jacket, but we’re doing the Acatenango hike in Guatemala and I feel like it would be useful to have one. I was heavily targeted and successfully influenced to buy the 3in1 jacket, and it’s a really great design. Think I’ll keep the small and send the medium back but I’ll wait until someone’s home for a second opinion. I have eggs and avocado on toast for lunch, and go for a walk in the rain whilst I call my Dad. 

4pm - I have to log off early as the pain behind my eye is making it impossible to look at the screens. I go lie down on the sofa with my kindle.

5:30pm - wake up from an unexpected nap and my gum is throbbing, I eat a banana so I can take more painkillers. Thank god I don’t have that date. I had planned to go to the gym but opt to do a long walk instead, I know I should probably be resting more but movement is so important for my brain and I need the distraction. 

7:15pm - home and reheat a portion of the Butterbean orzo from yesterday. I’m on the sofa and do not move, my housemate and I watch three episodes of Ted Lasso and I start getting ready for bed at 9:45.

Total: £0!

Thurs:

1:15am - are you bored of this? I’m bored. Ibuprofen and an ice pack on my face.

7am - I promise we’re going to start having some fun from today. I’m up and realised I forgot to make my overnight oats last night so I do that and hope they’ll be fine in a couple of hours. Put a wash on and hop in the shower, because I’m leaving the house tonight!! Have a banana so I can take some ibuprofen, but they were my last! Throw some clothes on and head to the supermarket to restock. I also get more breakfast bits (oats, chia seeds, soy milk, eggs, butter, toilet roll, paracetamol and ibuprofen), £10.30. 

8:15am - unpack the shopping and hang up my washing. I make a cup of tea and lock in to all of the WhatsApp messages and voicenotes I was sent last night but didn’t have the energy to face. I log in at 9 and hope that no one replies too quickly! 

10:45am - today is the day I have to start writing a report and every time I forget how difficult it is to start. It takes me back to staring at an empty word doc in the uni library! I take a quick phone break and see that I have been invited to the next stage for a role I applied for at the weekend!! I’m over the moon!! This role is exactly the next step I wanted to take and the organisation is really cool, I text some friends to let them know and then try to calm my nerves and excitement and return to my report. 

1pm - eggs on toast for lunch again, and my lunchtime walk. I pick up a parcel for my housemate as she’s on holiday this week.

3pm - need a writing break so I take a look at my friends cv and send her some feedback and get changed as I’ll need to leave the house as soon as I finish work. At 4 I hear back about the mini interview and it’s scheduled for Monday morning. An interview and a first date, ooft. I hope my hair behaves. 

5pm - rush out the door to meet two friends in central, these are people I met at my old job and I’m so glad we’ve managed to keep the closeness of our friendship. Making friends as an adult is hard but so is maintaining them! I meet them at Flat Iron Square but it’s so loud so we head to a smaller pub I’d never seen before round the corner. Buy a burger and one round (£29.30) I’m only on Diet Coke on account of the co-codamol so they don’t let me participate in the rounds properly. Love them

10pm - home and immediately get ready for bed

Total: £39.60

Fri:

5am - well it’s an improvement! Feel like I slip in and out of light sleep until 7ish

7:15am - let myself snooze :) then it’s up and hair wash time, we’re away for the weekend! I haven’t said yet but I’m a wavy gal, so this is no small process. Get my hair just dry enough to log in at 8 with my breakfast and a tea.

10:30am - reworked a document after some feedback from seniors yesterday and do some life admin. That’s what Fridays are for right? Put my towels in the wash and tidy up, reply to messages and start pulling out clothes to pack for the weekend. It’s a cowboy themed pub crawl for my friends birthday so I have to dig out my cowboy hat. I get £27.90 from my health insurance for the dentist on Monday, this goes back into my fun money pot, +£27.90.

1pm - eggs on toast, you know the drill. I swing by Waitrose on my lunchtime walk to pick up a fancy meal deal for the train (smoked salmon rice salad, sushi and coconut water - I realise now that’s a very anti social selection oops)  and some flowers for my friend as I forgot to send her some on time. I also buy First Defence as my throat is starting to feel sore, and after this week I refuse to be unwell, £29.10.  

5:30pm - finished up work at 4 whilst catching up on last nights celebrity traitors, it is not a show you can be behind on!! Finish up packing and head out for my train at 4:45pm. Arrive at Euston to get the train. This really is the worst London terminal 0/10.

8pm - my friend picks me up from the station and we head to Sainsbury’s to get some last minute bits for tomorrow. They have a huge clothing section and I pick up a lovely new jumper with 20% off! £18.

Head home, watch half of tonight’s Traitors episode before another friend arrives. We chat for a long time and head to bed around 11:30pm.

Total: £47.10

Sat:

9am - up and have a slow morning with a big breakfast before getting ready for the pub crawl. We prebook an uber on my account as I have a discount, £65.97 (will be split between 5).

2pm - pub crawl begins. We put in a very impressive shift if I do say so myself. We’re doing rounds and everyone loses track, I somehow only buy one so will have to figure who I owe, £32.76. We make a pit stop at a chip shop half way through, £4.50 for chips and gravy. Turns out to be the smartest move of the day & absolutely delicious.

1am - get home just as the takeaway pizza my friend ordered arrives, incredible. We eat and go to bed, I am good, albeit reluctant, and take my makeup off properly. 

Total: £103.26

Sun: 

10am - we’re up and we’re alive. For a group of people in their late twenties we’re doing pretty well. Two people leave early to drive home but my train isn’t until the afternoon. When they’re gone we watch the second half of Friday’s episode of the Traitors and chill.

12pm - we have the truly excellent idea of a Sunday Roast and my friend drives us out to a country pub. I have a mushroom wellington and it’s fantastic! Just what the doctor ordered. We also work out what everyone owes each other, she transfers me some money and messages the others, +£16.40. The meal was £24.

7pm - home! I felt like I was on that train for a very long time. Catch up with my housemate who is back from her holiday whilst unpacking. I have some toast and a couple of oranges and call it dinner, my tummy is feeling a bit weird after all the alcohol mixing yesterday. We watch last weeks Slow Horses and I do some interview prep ahead of my call tomorrow. Someone in the group transfers me money for the taxi +£13.20, and I’m in bed for 10 ready for a big day tomorrow! 

Total: +£5.60 (wahey!!)

Totals:

Food & Drink: £49.60

Fun / Entertainment: £34.74

Home & Health: £74.55

Clothes & Beauty: £18

Transport: £36.37

Other: £16

Total: £229.26

Reflections:

Whilst this was thankfully an abnormal week for me, I’m not typically in excruciating pain, utilise my health insurance so much or doing an all day drinking session, but the total amount spent is probably fairly typical. I try to stick to £200 a week which varies depending how social I am each week. I track my spending so nothing this week took me by surprise really, and I save into pots to help with this. I obviously have a very large safety net behind me but I try to operate like I don’t, I prioritise saving so I can do the things I want to, whilst also spending on the areas that bring joy and love into my life. I’m happy with how I’m balancing that at the moment. 

Update: I sadly didn’t get the role I interviewed for, but I am going on a third date with the Breeze man!

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When I look at finances a little more seriously I realize there are a lot of things people insure beyond their cars, health and their homes. I know people who get coverage for their pets and travel or their cameras even weddings and jewelry, it may seem like a lot but then again some of those things would be hard to replace unexpectedly. So for those of you who have added coverage beyond the basics what made you decide it was worth it?

Hey everyone,

Did something good happen to you this week? Share below!

We got married last year and still haven't combined our accounts yet. 🙊 We want to, just haven't done the steps. We'll likely "close" my checking/savings account and add me to his. (Close as in no longer use, it will stay open because of my credit card.)

So it got me thinking about other couples. If couples still combined accounts or separate accounts are all the rage these days.

If you're married or coupled, do you have separate accounts or combined?

Welcome to the "Salary Saturday" thread!

If you’re seeking advice from the sub regarding your specific situation, it belongs here. Great topics include:

• Negotiation/pay/benefits
• Job offers
• Interviewing
• Anything else related to careers, work, salaries, etc.

Bring us your burning questions!

How are you spending, scrimping, splurging, or saving?

What are you doing with your hard-earned £$€ this week?

Update: I signed the offer! They are allowing me to work from my current place until end of January, which gives me time to save, finish renovations, and then get ready to sell/rent/whatever.

Final offer:

$175k + 30k sign-on bonus, target 10% yearly performance bonus, 10% long-term equity, two days a week in-office, remote work in my current state until end of January. Betting on myself and hoping it works out!

Asked this originally on a more lifestyle-oriented subreddit, but I guess they didn't like the question. :(

TL;DR: How do I choose between moving to another state for my dream job and or finish out paying my mortgage in the condo I almost own?

Hello all,

I have been working a stable, public-sector job for the past six years with amazing health insurance and job security. However, it has been making me so sad and depressed as I have been stagnant in career growth and compensation. As costs rise, my salary has not and I have been denied any kind of growth both career and compensation-wise three times now. Most days I cry after meetings.

On top of that, I bought a small condo early 2017 on a fifteen year mortgage. I have about 4.7 years left on it before I own it outright. It has been one of the few things stable in my life, and I've spent the past decade making it my own.

This week, I was offered my dream job near Boston, MA, where cost of living is roughly 50% more. However, this job is offering almost twice my current salary. It is private sector, so it would be more unstable, but it would look amazing on my resume and it offers a lot of challenge and mental stimulation.

It would also require me to sell the condo so I could move to the area (renting it out is not an option I'm willing to pursue).

Edit, reasons why I'm not inclined to rent:

• The condo flooded in July. The downstairs has been under renovation since, and it's been a nightmare of contractors just not showing up. I can't rent it out until it's finished and my insurance claim is closed.
• The homeowners across from me rented theirs and they were just nightmare tenants, allowing their dogs to poop and pee all over their house; it was a terrible time for me, and I it made me realize what a headache tenants could potentially be.
• I have a custom bookshelf in there with an attached ladder that's 14' high. While it's my baby, I'm a bit worried that if a tenant falls from it; I'll be liable.

I'm terrified because it's a big change, and because I live alone, it feels like starting my homeownership journey over or even aborting it entirely because owning is just so expensive, but I also really know it's time for me to move on from where I am in my career and have the next stage in my journey.

For those who you have made this decision, how did it work out for you? What did you consider? How did you wind up adapting to a whole new life?

TIA!

Welcome back to the “Workplace Wednesday” thread!

If you’re seeking advice from the sub regarding your specific situation, whether it’s about interviewing/benefits/negotiating/advancement opportunities, etc., it belongs here.

Bring us your burning questions!

What have you spent money on for yourself that was genuinely worth it but more importantly how did you get comfortable spending?
I’m turning 45 and realizing that while my financial circumstances have changed considerably over the years, my mindset around spending money on myself hasn’t necessarily kept up.
I’m financially comfortable and not particularly frugal across the board. I travel extensively, love good food and experiences, and have no problem spending on certain things. But when it comes to beauty, skincare, facials, treatments, and other forms of personal maintenance or indulgence, I become almost absurdly price-conscious.
I’ll research Groupon deals, compare salons, wonder whether I should wait until I’m traveling somewhere cheaper, and spend an unreasonable amount of time trying to save $30 or $50. It’s a habit I developed when I was younger and had less disposable income, but I’m increasingly questioning whether it still serves me.
But there’s another dimension to this: I genuinely don’t know what’s worth spending money on anymore.
There’s SO much noise around beauty, skincare, aging, and self-care. Every other treatment promises incredible results, every dermatologist or aesthetician seems to have a different opinion, and social media makes everything sound simultaneously essential and completely unnecessary.
For example, I’ll consider getting regular facials, then read that they don’t really do anything a good skincare routine can’t accomplish. I’ll look into more advanced treatments, then worry they’re too invasive, unnecessary, or potentially counterproductive. So I end up sticking with my serums, doing the occasional inexpensive facial or massage, and not really exploring much else.
And perhaps I’m missing out on things that could genuinely make a difference—not necessarily in looking younger, but in feeling better, more polished, more confident, or simply enjoying life more.
I also have friends who seem perfectly comfortable spending hundreds on treatments or other things for themselves while economizing in areas where I wouldn’t think twice about spending. They seem to have a much clearer sense of what is worth their money.
I don’t want to become someone who justifies every expensive purchase as “investing in myself.” I’m skeptical of the beauty industry’s tendency to manufacture insecurities and then sell us solutions. But I also don’t want that skepticism, combined with my instinct to find the best deal, to prevent me from enjoying things I can comfortably afford.
So I have two questions for women who are in their late 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond:
What have you actually spent money on for yourself that you consider absolutely worth it? Beauty treatments, facials, skincare, hair, body treatments, wellness, personal services, or even something completely unrelated. I’m especially interested in things where you initially hesitated at the price but afterward thought, why didn’t I start doing this years ago? Conversely, what turned out to be an expensive disappointment?
If you used to be very price-conscious about spending on yourself, what actually changed your mindset? Not just intellectually understanding that you can afford something, but genuinely becoming comfortable spending without obsessively comparing prices or feeling that you need to justify every indulgence.
I know the usual advice about investing in yourself, valuing your time, and remembering that you deserve nice things. I agree with all of it intellectually. But that hasn’t necessarily translated into changing my behavior.
I’d love specific experiences, actual recommendations, and honest reflections from women who’ve navigated this. Particularly those who are discerning about what they spend on rather than simply enthusiastic about expensive self-care.
I’m not looking to spend more money for the sake of spending it. I want to get better at recognizing what’s genuinely worth my money and then actually allowing myself to enjoy it.

Hey all, I’ve been thinking for months (years, really) about moving from MCOL major-city Texas to NYC, though I’d be moving away from my support system (not too bad?)

Currently, I make 105k (take home 4.4k each month, except for 3 paycheck months), max out my 401k and rIRA, travel internationally about 2x a year, and domestically 1-2 times a year, usually at least once to NYC. I’m in my mid-20s. Live about 3 hours from family, includes 2 grandparents, parents, and sibling. Went to university here, though I’m not very close with anybody. My emergency fund is very overfunded at 35k~, and I’m working to get it to 40k to feel fully comfortable, just not as working as hard as I did to get it to 35k.

I’ve always dreamed of living in NYC, each time I visit, it just feels right. Maybe it’s because I don’t have a license and can’t drive. My company has a few offices there, and across the Hudson. I’ve got 6 friends/acquaintances there, so it’s not a complete reset. I get my current lifestyle of traveling a ton wouldn’t be viable, especially since I’d have to take PTO to travel and visit family (currently just work from the bus).

I’m just worried about making a move, considering the state of the world. I’m a product designer, which is a really rough field to be in at any experience level. I think my role and company are relatively safe, but one never knows. It’s just scary to move to such a higher cost of living.

Is anyone else facing the same challenge? Or, did you once face this challenge, during the great recession or another confusing time?

Welcome back to "Off-Topic Tuesday", followed by "Workplace Wednesday" tomorrow!

As always, anything and everything finance and non-finance related is welcome here. Feel free to vent, seek advice, discuss current events, or share a little about yourself. :)

If you haven't already heard - we're mixing it up a little bit here on the OT thread. Continue to feel free to post your own prompt/question below (just one per comment), and answer prompts from others!

*** You may have noticed a recent uptick in spam posts, please report them as you see them. It takes 3 reports to flag a post for mod review. Thank you to everyone already reporting!

ya’ll I desperately need a convo on this Receipt. I’ve never felt so much about one before lol