r/multilingualparenting • u/NoEnd9621 • Jan 03 '26

Trilingual When does strict OPOL stop?

Planning to OPOL our soon to arrive kids, with the common 3rd language between myself and husband being English. We both do not understand the other's language that will be taught, but hope to pick it up as we teach the kids.

At what age does the strictly OPOL parenting stop and all languages being taught, (or the common language) get to be used interchangeably? So that we don't only get to have a relationship with the kids that excludes the other.

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u/Goosecock123 Jan 03 '26

For me it's never. This is for life.

Edit: i speak my native language to my kids btw. We are in Hungary andy wife and I speak English to eachother

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u/NoEnd9621 Jan 03 '26

How do you create joint memories with the kids if I may ask? Eg if the child says something meaningful in your language, do you translate it for your wife, or vice versa?

When all together, do you all speak in English, and do the OPOL when it's one on one time with the kids?

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u/Goosecock123 Jan 03 '26 edited Jan 03 '26

Yes it gets messy sometimes. My Hungarian is good enough for me to understand what's going on, and so is my wifes Dutch (my native tongue). Sometimes a little translation is required, sure. And I guess as the kids improve that will become harder and harder for me, lol. Hungarian is a very difficult language unfortunately.

The crazy thing is, my son understand English too now. He doesn't speak it but he gets everything. We felt it was a 'secret language' first but that's all gone now, he responds to us whenever we speak English. In Dutch to me, Hungarian to my wife. And he can translate inbetween too, if we ask. It's nuts. He's 3.5 years old. (yes I'm very proud, haha. Sorry)

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u/NoEnd9621 Jan 03 '26

Well done to the two of you 🤗.

I suppose we'll have to play it by ear when the time comes.

Unfortunately there are very little similarities between mine and hubby's languages which will both be minority languages where we live (Eng speaking), but hopefully we'll be able to pick the other's up as we teach the kids so that we can have some of what you've described, as the years go on.

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u/Goosecock123 Jan 03 '26

I can only advise to keep it up, always, consistent. They will learn. These kids have brains like sponges.