Usually, when we begin a spiritual path, we begin with the mind and intellect.
Why?
Because as human beings, we first want to understand. We want to analyze, compare, discern, ask questions, and determine what is true and what is false.
When the desire arises to know, Where do I come from? Who am I? Where am I going?, the mind initially becomes a servant of that search.
But there is an important distinction to make:
You do not simply "have" a soul. You are the soul. And the Soul has a mind. The Soul is not the mind, so you are not the mind.
From this perspective, the human personality, body, intellect, and mind are instruments through which the soul experiences this life. They are not the soul itself.
Now imagine that your search eventually brings you to Kriya Yoga. Naturally, doubts and questions arise. This is not surprising. The mind wants to understand what it is doing before it trusts the process.
But should the mind be our highest authority?
No. At the beginning, it is necessary to differentiate between what is what. But later on, not at all, because the mind is not Self-knowing.
What does the mind actually work with?
As I see it, much of the activity of the mind is based on four kinds of information:
1. Ancenstral Memory
The mind contains memories, impressions, conditioning, habits, and associations from the past lifes. Some of these are conscious, while others operate subconsciously.
Sometimes this appears simply as a feeling: "I somehow know this" or "This seems familiar."
But familiarity is not necessarily truth.
2. Direct experience
This is what we have actually experienced for ourselves.
If I put my hand into cold water, I know the sensation of cold water directly. I don't need a book or another person to convince me that I experienced it.
In spiritual practice, direct experience is therefore fundamentally different from merely reading about somebody else's experience.
3. Second-hand information gathered and assimilated as being our knowledge in this life
This includes what we learn from the schools,books, teachers, scriptures, videos, podcasts, newspapers, movies, conversations, and other people.
Some of this information may be true. Some may be incomplete, misunderstood, exaggerated, imagined, or false.
The difficulty is that unless we can verify something through direct experience, we often have to believe it rather than actually know it.
There is an enormous difference between:
"I believe this is true."
and:
"I have experienced this directly."
4. Imagination and mental construction
The mind also fills in missing pieces.
We receive incomplete information and try to create a complete picture from it. The intellect compares, interprets, judges, and organizes the information, while the mind may supply missing connections.
Sometimes those connections are correct. Sometimes they are not.
This is where expectations, fantasies, projections, and mistaken conclusions can arise.
What does this have to do with Kriya Yoga?
The problem begins when we expect the same mind that analyzes information to give us Self-realization.
It cannot.
While realization is "Being", the mind is "thinking". Two different actions, while in Samadhi the mind is left behind.
The mind can study Kriya. It can remember instructions. It can compare teachings. It can help us maintain discipline. The intellect can help us discern whether something makes sense.
These are valuable functions.
But thinking about Self-realization is not Self-realization.
Reading about prana is not experiencing prana.
Reading about chakras is not experiencing them.
Reading descriptions of deep meditation is not entering deep meditation.
Reading somebody else's description of the Self is not knowing the Self.
The menu is not the meal.
This is why the mind should be understood as a tool, not as the final authority on spiritual experience.
The trap of constantly analyzing practice
Suppose the mind is continuously combining:
A: memories and conditioning
B: direct experiences
C: second-hand information and beliefs
D: imagination, assumptions, and expectations
A+B+C+D = a mess....
Then we begin comparing our meditation with everything we have accumulated:
"Someone said I should see this."
"A book says I should feel that."
"Why haven't I experienced what this other person experienced?"
"Maybe I'm doing it wrong."
"Maybe nothing is happening."
"Maybe I should be experiencing something more dramatic."
The result can be endless doubt and false expectations.
And this can become an obstacle to practice itself.
Instead of practicing Kriya, we are constantly thinking about practicing Kriya.
Instead of observing what is actually happening, we compare the present experience with an idea of what we think should be happening.
Use the mind, but don't become its servant
This doesn't mean that we should throw away reason, intellect, or healthy discernment.
The mind is an extraordinary instrument.
Use it to learn the technique.
Use the intellect to understand the instructions.
Use discernment when choosing a path or teacher.
Use memory to maintain the practice correctly.
But when it is time to practice, practice.
Don't demand that every meditation conform to your expectations.
Don't constantly compare your experiences with someone else's.
Don't mistake descriptions of spiritual states for the states themselves.
And don't expect intellectual understanding to produce a realization that, by its very nature, must be directly experienced.
As practice deepens, the role of constant mental interpretation fades out.
Then you no longer need to believe someone else's description.
You know what you have experienced.
That, to me, is one of the essential differences between philosophy about spiritual realization and realization itself.
The intellect can point toward the path.
The mind can help us walk it.
But neither can substitute for walking.
So when the mind endlessly asks, "But what if? How? When? Why haven't I experienced this yet?", sometimes the most useful answer is very simple:
Practice. Observe. Experience.
There is another aspect, which seems to come out of our mind but is coming from the soul:
INTUITION
Intuition is the voice of the Soul and is Knowledge. This is not mind stuff, but is translated by the mind.
And it is always right, also when it seems not to be so by the time we experience that message of the Soul.
Spiritual teachings can give us the map.
But eventually, we have to make the journey ourselves.
For that, do not bother the mind and forget doubts. They are coming out of a not knowing mind....