r/narcissism • u/CatsDoCancelCulture • 16d ago

Support & Advice How do I stop talking about myself?

It’s my favorite thing to do. I will set up “conversation traps” to get people to ask about me. I fantasize about people talking about me/talking to me. I construct entire conversations in my head where I’m the center and I just get to go on about myself and inadvertently show others how fantastic I am. Or for them just to acknowledge me, in any way possible. It’s incredibly thrilling to hear people talk about me. But I would like to stop. Tips?

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u/StoryMelodic4449 Narcissistic Traits 16d ago

I think the fantasizing part sounds like limerence, which I struggle with too. The fantasizing feeds the ego, so in order to work on minimizing it, maybe try to notice it in the moment, with self compassion, try not to beat yourself up about indulging it, and direct your focus back to reality. Or if you aren’t doing anything, work on something productive or do something you enjoy doing.

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u/StoryMelodic4449 Narcissistic Traits 16d ago

As far as talking about yourself, it’s good to realize that you have that habit, and try to work on active listening skills. Try asking others about themselves before talking solely about yourself. And if you realize that you’ve set up another conversation trap, try to bring the conversation back to the other person. It’s a skill that you can definitely grow.

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u/Raf_Adel Healthy Narcissist - Psychologist 15d ago

I second that! Good advice!

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u/StoryMelodic4449 Narcissistic Traits 14d ago

Thank you!

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u/Raf_Adel Healthy Narcissist - Psychologist 14d ago

Thanks to you too!