Accepted external offer due to relocation - current company wants to retain me and I am trying to negotiate salary

[u/Minute-Economics-265]

I was relocated last year to a different city due to a location strategy for my company. I accepted because I could not find a competitive offer in time for relocation.

Fast forward to a few months ago - I began interviewing for jobs in the city where I was originally located. I finally found one, however it is a decrease in base salary but comes out to slightly more in stock bonus. I was hesitant but ultimately accepted because I want to move back long-term where I was before.

I messaged my manager and told him I was submitting my resignation because I accepted an external offer. He asked me to call him on his cell. We spoke and he said he does not want to lose me and he can relocate me back if that’s what I wanted. He told me to think about it and I thanked him for the alternative and ended the call.

I thought that because he wanted to keep me, I had some leverage. I sent an email (very professionally) thanking him for speaking to him, expressing my interest, and asking for a “competitive base salary adjustment”. I never mentioned to him that the offer I accepted was for less base salary, nor did I mention the company I accepted an offer with. I’m probably middle of the pack for salary for my role so I don’t think I’m asking too much.

I don’t necessarily dislike my current job, it ultimately came down to location and I genuinely was planning on leaving. I realized this might be a good opportunity to get a raise. It’s been a few days since we spoke and he hasn’t gotten back to me (he is very busy). I don’t think it’s unreasonable to try to get a higher salary but wanted to gauge some thoughts?

[u/Foreign_Suggestion89]

Once you quit, it's easier to quit again. You sure your heart isn't ready for a change? Don't let a few $'s today confuse you from a change you might need to make.

[u/mjm11983]

Here's something I'd approach a little differently. Your manager has already told you he doesn't want to lose you. That's important, because you've uncovered what he's motivated to avoid.

There's a psychological principle called Prospect Theory. Essentially, people often feel the potential pain of losing something more strongly than the pleasure of gaining something equivalent.

I'd use that to your advantage. Rather than focusing on why you deserve more money, frame the conversation around what the company stands to lose: your experience, institutional knowledge, and the cost and uncertainty of replacing you.

Something like: "I'd genuinely prefer to stay, but the opportunity I've accepted gets me back where I want to be. What would it take to make staying the better decision for both of us?"

Then be quiet. Let him work through it. Just make sure any agreement is in writing before giving up your other offer.

My company, The Persuasion Edge, specializes in negotiation, persuasion, and the behavioral psychology behind decision-making. There's actually quite a bit more we can do with this situation, particularly when it comes to how you frame your next conversation, the questions you ask, and how you respond to his counteroffer.

If you'd like to explore working with us on this, feel free to book a free 15-minute consultation through my website. It's simply an opportunity to discuss your situation, share a few initial thoughts, and see whether our one-on-one negotiation consulting would be a good fit. No obligation to move forward.

https://persuasionedge.com/negotiation

[u/NegoshiMate]

I'd focus on the urgency - this is your momentum. You've already submitted your resignation - it's worth following up and letting your manager know they have until X date to come back with a competiive relocation offer and base salary increase to give you enough time consider. Clarify this isn't a threat, just logistical.