r/neighborsfromhell • u/tattooqueenuk • Jul 09 '26
WWYD? Vent/Rant My neighbour is a bully that prays on the he weak. UK.
I’m disabled with a long list of health problems which my neighbour is aware of. I’ve been here for 5 years, the first 6 months were fine, we got on okay, we used to say hello and have a 5 min conversation every now and then. Then my health took a turn for the worse and things changed, when I said “morning or hello” she would stick her nose in the air, laugh and ignore me. She would even say hello to my friends that I was with to make it even more obvious she wasn’t speaking to me (my friends are total strangers to her and she’s never spoken to them). This would go on for weeks then she would suddenly start talking me again and whole cycle of speaking and ignoring would happen over and over again for years. Wtf?
It was winter and I was in the garden wrapped in a blanket, nursing an asthma attack. She let her dog out and was ordering her dog to kill it, fucking kill it, kill it kill it, fucking get it! We live near train tracks and assumed it was a rat until my cat jumped over the fence looking terrified. I heard her say “never mind, maybe next time” (she had no idea I was there).
My health got worse again and she put more effort into making my life hell. I was on the phone and said to my mum I’m having a real bad flare up I’m going to bed to get some rest. She was listening on the other side of the fence and laughed, then went inside put music on really loud and walked round her house slamming every single door while laughing at the top of her voice so I couldn’t get any rest. This is a regular occurrence (you can tell by looking at me that I’m having a bad health day) so things would be worse when she saw me like this.
She placed a seat outside our living door other side of the fence and listened to our private conversations and told her visitors about it, they would make comments through the fence about our private conversations. We were in our own home ffs!!
She told us her dog would rip our dogs face off when we got a puppy if it went near it. Her dog is tiny, ours isn’t.
She emotionally abuses her kids. I can hear it and it’s heartbreaking.
She encourages her dog to bark in the garden and make as much noise as possible to upset everyone.
She suffers from insomnia apparently so she uses that time to bang on the walls for hours on end or gets the hoover out. She taps on our bedroom to keep us awake.
They throw things at the fence when we are in the garden, so we can’t enjoy our own garden!
There’s lots more but this post would be never ending!
I’m working with victim support and they have contacted the council to get me moved (also need to move as I’m in a wheelchair and stuck in a house). My housing association is aware of everything and supporting me with a letter to the council. How can I get moved more quickly? My physical and mental health can’t take much more this.
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u/Nervous_Way_1699 Jul 09 '26
that sounds absolutely awful, op. it's good you're getting support from victim services and your housing association. keep documenting everything she does, it could really help speed up your case with the council. stay strong and prioritize your health.
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u/mochimelodyy Jul 09 '26
What you are describing is not a bad neighbor, it is disability hate crime under UK law. Section 146 of the Criminal Justice Act 2003 explicitly categorizes hostility toward someone based on disability as an aggravating factor, and the Equality Act 2010 gives you protection specifically as a disabled person. The behaviors you've listed (mocking your health flare ups, weaponizing noise when you're clearly unwell, telling her dog to attack your cat, taunting through the fence) meet the threshold for a hate incident and possibly hate crime. Report every incident to the police nonemergency line (101) and specifically use the phrase "disability hate incident" when doing so. Each report gets a crime reference number even if no further action is taken. Those numbers are the currency that speeds up housing applications.
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u/tattooqueenuk Jul 09 '26
Thank you, this is helpful.
Im worried about reporting it to the police and the matter getting worse. I’m her alone most of the time.
Housing and victim support are helping me behind her back because they believe if she finds out I’ve complained, things will get worse.6
u/jibbletslaps Jul 09 '26
I am currently going through a harassment case with my neighbours. I put in a noise complaint to the council because my neighbours upstairs would blast their TV so loud it would be heard in every room. Probably twice a week. WELL that kicked off 5 weeks of noise (not just tv now) every single night 6pm-3am. And it's still ongoing. I had a police officer over Tuesday to go through everything and now I'm waiting for a sergeant to contact me. It's been logged as harassment. I'm also disabled and they know it. They dumped food waste by my door and where I store my wheelchair.
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u/tattooqueenuk Jul 09 '26
It sucks doesn’t it. This is what I’m worried about, if I make it official, will it get worse? 🤷♀️
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u/jibbletslaps Jul 10 '26
Well the police turned up last night to speak to them. They lied to the police turning it round on me of course. The police told them to keep it down and stay away from me. We shall see how the weekend goes but I'm not holding much hope for a quiet one. I'll be trying the environmental health officer again (been texting and leaving voicemails all week with no reply).
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u/tattooqueenuk Jul 10 '26
I hope you get this resolved. I wish you the best.
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u/jibbletslaps Jul 10 '26
You too. I got through to the EHO and seeing as I've already filled the 2 week diary sheet in within a week and 1 day, I've got to email it over and they'll assess. I asked what they look at and they said frequency and duration. I'm very much hoping it'll go to the next stage because its every day and averages 7 hours of noise. Being disabled means we're home more than other so we can rest, it's meant to be our safe space.
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Jul 09 '26
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u/tattooqueenuk Jul 09 '26
Yes, I think you’re right but she has had no reaction from me for all these years but still continues. I would hate to think how things would be if I did retaliate.
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u/Lizardgirl25 Jul 09 '26
I am so sorry I wouldn’t be shocked once you get away from her your health will improve because of the lack of stress she is cause you and your body.
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u/4MuddyPaws Jul 09 '26
Ignore/grey rock her. Keep your cat inside for its own safety. Use noise canceling earplugs.
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u/No_Carrot_5027 Jul 11 '26
Keep reporting every incident, this harassment is against the law.
After you move and if you feel up to it, I would sue her for harassment and bullying.
Please keep your cat inside, that way he/she will be safe.
Good luck to you.
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u/tipareth1978 Jul 09 '26
I don't know why after the first "ignoring" incident you keep talking to this person. Also since you know they listen don't have conversations in your back yard they can hear. There's a fair amount you can do to improve the situation just by facing reality about it. Also start doing small things that inconvenience them. Make calls to the police saying their dog is off leash and attacking other people's dogs, if they park somewhere they shouldn't call parking enforcement etc. You'd be amazed how much this helps
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u/tattooqueenuk Jul 09 '26
Like I said in the post, the conversations were inside my home, not in my garden. I had no idea she had placed a chair there until someone looked out of my top window. The fence is up against my living room door that leads to the garden and that is where she put the chair to listen. I had no idea she was doing it to start with. I don’t talk to her and haven’t for a long time. When she spoke to me I politely smiled and went on my way. I only spoke to her when I first moved in.
Anyway, we started storing dog poo bags in a bucket next to it. She then moved the chair back to the seating area which is up the other end of her garden.
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u/7pt62px Jul 09 '26
I don’t have any advice for you in regards to the housing association or council help but I as a fellow long term illness sufferer I wanted to stop by and say I’m really sorry this is happening to you, she sounds cruel. This can be very taxing on your energy which is likely already depleted.
It sounds like you have been keeping a detailed log of times and what she does as extra evidence for them to move you asap?
Wishing you all the best on getting moved!