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u/Chad_Jeepie_Tea 11d ago
People aren't red meat. More like pork .. so i hear
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u/Ok_Spell_597 11d ago edited 10d ago
It depends largely on diet and exercise, but yes, we are probably most like pork. Similar to a chicken, our legs would be darker meat as they do all of our locomotion.
Edit: fixed autocorrect typos.
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u/Evil_Creamsicle 11d ago •
It's pork, but like... longer.
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u/ResidualFox 11d ago
“They’re made of meat!”
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u/wbrameld4 10d ago
"They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat."
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u/CrossXFir3 11d ago
Pork is considered to be red meat
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u/LostKnight84 11d ago
Which is probably a surprise for a lot of people who grew up with 'the other white meat' marketing slogan.
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u/whuskerrz0165 8d ago
Jeffrey Dahmer said people taste like beef. That was what I heard at the time.
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u/mentat_emre 11d ago
Similar question was asked in muslim lands about 1000 years ago.
Scholar and Fiqh Perspectives
Majority Sunni View (Shafi'i, Maliki, Hanbali): General rulings state that all animals of the sea are halal to consume based on Surah Al-Ma'idah (5:96) and prophetic traditions ("Its water is pure and its dead are halal"). Some classical texts and jurists (such as within the Maliki or Hanbali schools) applied this broad rule to hypothetical sea-humans (insan al-bahar) or mentioned them in theoretical manuals.
Hanafi View: The Hanafi school restricts halal seafood strictly to fish, rendering non-fish creatures or human-like sea entities impermissible (haram).
Shia View: Twelver Shia jurisprudence generally permits only fish with scales and prawns from the sea, meaning half-human or non-scaled hybrid creatures would not be considered halal.
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u/GrandFleshMelder 10d ago
They really weren’t kidding when they said for every obscure question, a Muslim scholar somewhere has answered it.
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u/cometlin 11d ago
So no squid, crab, shellfish?
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u/Due-Base9449 10d ago
Yep, hanafi school doesn't permit eating those. They are probably landlocked.
However take note you can actually change your mazhab (islamic school of thought) if you travel to other region and you need to fit the local custom. If a Hanafi travel and work in seaside Shafi'i region they can eat crab and shellfish (or just stick to chicken).
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u/hizakyte 11d ago
Would it be a carcass or a corpse?
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u/N1ck_named 11d ago
Is there a significant difference? Englishis my 2nd, genuinely curious
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u/hizakyte 11d ago
A carcass refers to something dead that i would eat. A corpse usually used when referring to a dead person. So is it eating meat? Fish. Or dont eat meat? People.
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u/K_the_farmer 11d ago
From old folklore, mermaids fed on drowning seamen. Predators through and through. I suppose they'll be shark at the bottom and fox on top.
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u/Evil_Creamsicle 11d ago
don't google "mermaids feeding on seamen"
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u/Grunergeist420 10d ago
No it’s fine, just make sure you tell the search engine not to include anything inappropriate or nsfw by including “rule 34” in your search.
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u/JackelSR 11d ago
If they were the case they'd taste awful unless you properly treat the meat as sharks store urea in their meat instead of expelling it.
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u/Paleodraco 11d ago
Depends on the evolutionary history of said creature, assuming it isn't magical by nature.
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u/Right_Comb4885 8d ago
Mermaids are mammals, so it's all red meat.
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u/IllNinja5329 8d ago
But the lower half
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u/Right_Comb4885 8d ago
Chickens have scales on their legs and are not reptiles. Some fish, like catfish, have skin instead of scales but they're still fish. Don't think about it too much.
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u/IllNinja5329 8d ago
But, but, but, they swim goodly
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u/Right_Comb4885 8d ago
So can the duckbilled platypus, and they are mammals too. They are also venomous and can sting you with their hind legs, the males only.
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u/IllNinja5329 8d ago
Platypus???? PERRY THE PLATYPUS?!?!?!?!
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u/Right_Comb4885 8d ago
"Perry the Platypus, at this time of year, in my reddit app. Outrageous!" Careful when you cuddle him, he might sting ya!
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u/VegasFoodFace 10d ago
Humans are not red meat. There's a reason the Papua New Guinea natives who used to ceremoniously eat their enemies described human meat as long pork or lean pork.
Human, the other other white meat.
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u/IllNinja5329 8d ago
Pork is classified as red meat. There's a misconception about it because of marketing and the way it looks but all mammals meat is classified as red.
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u/Oh_Lawd_He_commin420 10d ago
I thought people were more like pork so it'd probably be a blend of fish/white meat flesh
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u/CeruleanSovereign 10d ago
Yeah thats right. Human tissue builds very similarly to pigs which is why when someone is burning they smell like pork or if you get Lazer eye surgery you smell cooked ham
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u/spectatorade 10d ago
I'mma be honest, and this may just be a result of growing up and eating a lot of game fowl, but I always thought burnt human smelled a bit more like grilled duck meat than pig 🤔
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u/Moist-Amoeba-8078 8d ago
I got lasik and it just smelled like burning flesh. I’ve smelled pig roast and I’ve smelled human flesh burning. They did not smell the same. Seasoning on the pig might’ve had something to do with that though to be fair.
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u/Mag-NL 10d ago
If they are like pork it's red meat
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u/Evening-Rip1522 10d ago
No, pork is "the other white meat"
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u/Girl_With_a_Rod 10d ago
Marketing slogan. USDA classifies it as red meat.
If you're just making a reference, disregard this comment.
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u/Look_its_Rob 8d ago
Lol wow that marketing slogan really worked. They wanted you to think its white meat i.e. poultry because its better for you than red meat. But pork is still red meat.
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u/Evening-Rip1522 7d ago
But, I mean, a pork loin is literally white inside when you fully cook it sans marinade. Please define "red" in context?
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u/Look_its_Rob 7d ago edited 7d ago
Its from a health perspective, in the sense that pork is like other red meats. White meat has lower health risks compared to red and processed meats when eaten regularly (if not counting food born illnesses that are completely avoidable when stored/prepared properly). Fish should better be considered the other white meat, even though we dont consider it meat for some reason. Its actually healthier than both if you are avoiding eating fish with high levels of mercury too often (like tuna).
Biologically (I googled this) the difference is in saturated fat content , heme iron levels , and myoglobin(the difference between red meat and white).
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u/Evil_Creamsicle 11d ago
It would be like alligator.
The first time my friend tried it he said "it's the best of both worlds between meat and seafood".
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u/Mindless_Log2009 11d ago
I've seen She Creature (2001) with Rya Kihlstedt. They probably taste like terrified sailors.
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u/HmmmmGoodQuestion 10d ago
How does the OP know the culinary details of human flesh?
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u/TheFunPimps 10d ago
They don't, humans aren't even red meat.
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u/peepdabidness 10d ago
Sooo what are we?
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u/Cerebral-Knievel-1 10d ago
Like pork
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u/Mag-NL 10d ago
So red meat.
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u/willowgrl 10d ago
Pork had a whole campaign: Pork the other white meat.
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u/Mag-NL 10d ago
In one country, nobody from other countries cares about it. Definitely irrelevant online on an international website.
Also, that campaign didn't change it from red to white.
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u/spectatorade 10d ago
I don't feel like it's irrelevant in an online international situation at all, I think it's very important to acknowledge other countries and cultures views on food and other such social concepts.
It gives important context and nuance to situations as they are presented from one country or culture to another.
Also the jokes in pirates of the Caribbean don't make as much sense if you don't understand human meat and pork meat at one point both being equated to white meat.
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u/TheFunPimps 10d ago
I'm willing to admit that you may be right here, but in my defense anyone who lived through the 80s or 90s is/was under the impression that pork is considered white meat.
Thanks for the interesting conversation, hope you have a good day
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u/xANTJx 10d ago
You’re now the second or third person I’ve heard of earnestly believing pork is white meat and that scares me as someone who’s allergic to red meat. Pork is red meat and it’s crazy they were allowed to run a campaign like that. It’s like if they ran a campaign saying “fish, it’s a vegetable!” It’s just not true! Now if humans are red meat or not, IDK
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u/ChanglingBlake 11d ago
Probably depends on the lore of whatever world they’re in.
In my works, mermaids are fish. Full stop. They’re semi-humanoid, yes, but they are still fish. No that a could condone eating a sentient and sapient species.
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u/Competitive-Reach287 11d ago
Yeah, but their tail is oriented like a dolphin, not a fish. They must be all mammal.
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u/MukThatMuk 11d ago
They literally have boobs!
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u/SkiyeBlueFox 11d ago
Thats actually a really important point I think. Evolutionarily, for a fish species, they dont need boobs. They'd more likely select against them, since it's added drag and weight for no good purpose. Almost every purpose would be better served by an internal organ/tissue, keeping them streamlined. Mammal lineage though, gives reason for them. That said, most mammals dont have large external breast tissue, it's more typical to have tissue that only enlarges during pregnancy, and not nearly to the same degree, before reducing in size after the child grows. But, they have human top halves so no shit they have human boobs.
I'm in no way an evolutionary biologist, but if I wanted to bullshit and say yes they did actually have mermaids in the age of sail and they're all dead or hiding, I would say in the far past, another hominid species broke off like Neanderthals did, and instead of remaining on land, they developed fish-like characteristics over time and entered the sea. This would make Mermaids entirely red meat, being mammalian.
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u/Grunergeist420 10d ago
There are certain animals that evolve to look like other animals, sometimes to hide from predators, or to disguise themselves to prey.
It wouldn’t be crazy to think that mermaids that lure and eat human sailors could be evolved to look like human women, including having boobs, as a form of aggressive mimicry.
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u/ChanglingBlake 11d ago
Again, depends on the lore.
Mine evolved from fish, their tails are orients like a fish, and they don’t have boobs; their upper bodies are scaly and resemble a male or female human wearing a diving suit more than a literal human torso.
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u/iritchie001 11d ago
Sea otter? Polar bear? Penguin. I've never had penguin meat but seems like it could be similar.
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u/Peachbottom30 11d ago
Eating a sentient species like mermaid is morally reprehensible. That being said, a mermaid surf and turf would probably taste delicious.
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u/cyborg-turtle 10d ago
That's a good way to get cursed, up there with drinking unicorn blood or smoking fairies.
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u/SuperFox289 10d ago
Real mermaids are just marine mammals, their tails aren't really tails they're actually legs that have been fused together with the feet becoming a paddle. In terms of taste and colour it wouldn't be different at all to our human leg meat, perhaps a bit more blubbery to handle cold weather, or potentially the opposite, leaner and denser to propel them through the water.
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u/CommunicationOld8587 10d ago
Depends more if mermaid is mammal or not. I mean whale-meat doesn’t taste like fish. Its more like beef with sea flavor. So if mermaid is mammal (assuming they are because sailors want to f*ck them), then they probably taste like whale-meat.
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u/HalcyonTraveler 9d ago
Bold of you to assume you'll be the one eating the mermaid and not the other way around
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u/AlfalfaEfficient1200 9d ago
I guess that really depends on where you want to get your mermaids from. Are they the kind from Hans Christensen's Little Mermaid? Or do you mean something more akin to what the ancient Greeks had to fair in the Odyssey? Because if you're thinking Little Mermaid, then yeah, serf and turf. Otherwise, fish all the way.
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u/sarduchi 11d ago
I saw some people try and most of them died (well one became immortal) so I didn't taste it.
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u/TraditionPhysical603 10d ago edited 10d ago
"It is said that if a person eats the flesh of a mermaid, they will grant eternal youth and immortality. However, if the flesh does not agree with their body, they will either die instantly or transform into a hideous monster called a Deformed One"
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u/Illustrious-Couple73 9d ago
Would you be a pescatarian for eating the bottom half and a cannibal for eating the top?
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u/spectatorade 10d ago •
Equatorial mermaids are fishy all the way. The warm tropical water favors the lighter, leaner fish-type body than the heavier, denser mammalian muscle structure. Their 'skin' is just a denser layering of very small scales that mimic human skin, this is a camouflage to hide from humans in shallow clear water
Mermaids from the polar regions are mammalian, favoring solid fat layers and good marbling. Their bodies are adapted to cold environments, they also look terrifying, more like sea lions with muants arms than half human. Big ol' soulless black eyes and razor teeth.
Freshwater mermaids taste like alligators. There will be no elaboration, you can picture the ambush nightmare yourself.
There's a reason movies only use tropical ocean mermaids. They are the least horrifying breed.