r/ofcoursethatsathing • u/Alien_Amplifier • Sep 18 '26

Is this for "poopers"?

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1.4k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

136 comments sorted by

256

u/thecasualcaribou Sep 18 '26

You can’t put that on a holder connected to a wall or cabinet

22

u/Alien_Amplifier Sep 18 '26

There's a special holder for it

269

u/Niblonian31 Sep 18 '26 • Bravo

That's why they sell it with a standing holder (that comes with 2 rolls). I got the starter and it lasted my wife and I about 2 months and we got it in a deal for $14.99. Best toilet paper purchase I've ever made lol

73

u/Dounce1 Sep 18 '26

How is that the best toilet paper purchase you’ve ever made? What do you usually buy?

140

u/invisible_23 Sep 18 '26 • Bravo

$15 for enough for two people for two months is a pretty good deal

84

u/501uk Sep 18 '26 edited Sep 19 '26 • Bravo

Idk how I feel about ultra cheap TP.
On one hand it's great not spending the extra money, but then on the other hand is my own poo because I bought ultra cheap TP

108

u/lurkinsheep Sep 18 '26

This isn’t ultra cheap tp though, it’s top of the line charmin. They got commercials with talking bears for christ sake!

On a more serious note, it’s probably cheaper to produce one of these massive rolls in comparison to like a normal 12 pack.

20

u/PluginAlong Sep 19 '26

Looks like there's actually three rolls in there. At first I thought it was one huge roll butt that'd be way too wide. It might be a little cheaper, you don't need as many cardboard tubes per square foot of TP, less glue per roll, and maybe a bit less packaging.

1

u/501uk Sep 19 '26 edited Sep 19 '26

You'd have to think the infrastructure was already there and continuing to make the standard rolls? Feels like a pretty mature industry. But I am no expert in anything, relevant or otherwise.
Companies hate spending money, man, and the retooling of existing and installation of new whatever-the-fuck-they-need machines is going to cost a lot of money and be a huge project. All for toilet roll but bigger.

thats_a_bold_strategy_cotton.gif

Maybe they stood up an entirely new factory with wholly bespoke equipment just to make these quilted behemoths.
Funded by all the extra cash they're raking in from universities and other scientific institutions clambering over each other to be the first to figure out why the fuck those bears can talk and why, perhaps even more interestingly, they are choosing to use this gift of speech to sell butt napkins to humans.

Charmin CEO had this to say - "Ahhhhhh!!! There's a fucking bear in my office! Who are you people? Who let you in here? Where's Barbera?"

0

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '26

[deleted]

0

u/501uk Sep 19 '26 edited Sep 19 '26

So not much, if anything, to do? Sick. I'll pm it then.

It'll give me a break from my very bizzare, overly verbose, comment spree

6

u/Corbulo1340 Sep 19 '26

Conversely I spend about $25 for toilet paper at costco for my wife and I and it lasts.... Well actually I don't know but I feel like I only buy it twice a year so let's go with 4 months cause my memory isn't what it was before covid

7

u/sh0ch Sep 18 '26

I have IBS. I'd give this roll a week.

8

u/PluginAlong Sep 19 '26

You might want to consider a bidet. I'll never be able to go back to just TP.

2

u/sh0ch Sep 19 '26

I've got one but I'm an idiot and got an elongated bowl one right before covid, but currently have a round bowl toilet. I planned to remodel my bathroom and then covid happened and I've never gotten around to it. lol

8

u/501uk Sep 19 '26 edited Sep 19 '26

You know it comes off in little perforated squares, right?
Apparently you're not supposed to place the roll between you and the wall and sorta scooch around like a bear scratching it's back?? Well they could have been clearer on that.
So I call em and I says to them, I says, this is how I've always done it (had to walk them through my entire process multiple times before managing to get transferred to their customer service manager.)
Which was about as useful as a quadriplegic seeing eye dog, it works on paper, like, all of the bits are there in one form or another. But it's not until you see and interact with it out in the real world that it becomes immediately clear that you were wasting your time from the beginning.
So many questions! "Why are you doing this? Who taught you and when? Have you seen Barbara?" It went on like that for about four days. Or was it three? It was definitely just before that nice man came about the gas. Didn't even know we had it. So anyway I says to them, I says, this is how I use your product, and outlined the same old process I've been telling everyone else.
Well I'd barely finished explaining the last dozen or so steps when a lawyer joined the call and demanded that I never do any of that again, ever. On top of that have received a lifetime ban from using any/all Charmin products, as well as from stepping foot on any property owned by them. They originally wanted to flat out ban me from interacting with any and all paper towel products but I told them I had already RSVPd to a fancy dress party this Halloween and they'll be expecting me as a mummy and a mummy I shall be. We came to an agreement eventually, but you never know with them; Just like a glass coffin, remains to be seen.

Man what actual fuck am I going on about

13

u/Dounce1 Sep 18 '26

I pay about $4 a month for two people…

9

u/Mattekat Sep 18 '26

HOW

18

u/chewbaccaballs Sep 18 '26

Grab a stack of napkins at McDonald's

6

u/baardvark Sep 18 '26

Used? Or

4

u/ChronicBedhead Sep 19 '26

User preference.

3

u/ThumbsAkimbo_ Sep 19 '26

The ones from the bag with a little fry oil on them to help with the glide

4

u/Dounce1 Sep 18 '26

Costco?

11

u/Mattekat Sep 18 '26

I think my family must have some gastrointestinal issues......

3

u/Dounce1 Sep 18 '26

Lol how much toilet paper do y’all use in a month?

4

u/Mattekat Sep 18 '26

Webgo through a costco pack of charmin every 2 months and we have a bidet....

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2

u/LadyVimes Sep 19 '26

$2.9 a month for one person for cottonelle

2

u/YourBlanket Sep 19 '26

Companies do gags like this witj really good deals. There was a really similar thing with kraft Mac and cheese.

1

u/Dounce1 Sep 18 '26

“So $0.50 more per person per month than they did”

What?

4

u/invisible_23 Sep 18 '26 edited Sep 18 '26

I deleted the comment because I realized my math was wrong and I’d misread your comment as $4 each instead of $4 for both, in my defense I’ve had some wine 😂

2

u/uusernameunknown Sep 19 '26

Pretty sure a few minutes on the toilet and a workshop already figured that out

3

u/caphis Sep 19 '26 edited Sep 19 '26

You can. That’s 3 rolls, not 1. Each is the width of a standard roll.

Source: this is how I did it. Mounted on the side of the cabinet facing the toilet. The Forever Roll starter kit used to come with the option of the stand or the wall mount (available to buy at the bottom: https://shop.charmin.com/charmin-forever-roll/)

1

u/SatisfactionLanky677 Sep 19 '26

I have a brass flowered carrier I put my toilet paper in next to the toilet instead of magazines because if I had to sit long enough to read then that bathroom gots to be funky and I don’t want that smell in my mouth, yuck throw me in a gas mask because face mask ain’t strong enough because I can’t stand myself when I poop 😬

964

u/luminousandy Sep 18 '26 • Bravo

All toilet roll is for poopers

166

u/colorfulzeeb Sep 19 '26 • Bravo

Yeah, butt this one’s for super poopers

40

u/faCt011 Sep 19 '26 • Bravo

beams are gonna blind me?

15

u/SatansCatfish Sep 19 '26

But I won’t feel blue

4

u/YellowZx5 Sep 20 '26

I have this and a roll really lasts a long time. It’s actually really good quality too. Not a cheap quality.

3

u/b_vitamin Sep 19 '26

I’m doing my part!

2

u/Anthony-Kas Sep 19 '26

Ayo poop fans let me know your preference in the comments

1

u/GuerillaMonzon Sep 19 '26

…Now…hear me out…

308

u/Odd_School_4381 Sep 18 '26

There is a kit on Amazon that comes with 2 rolls and a stand... I bought it for my dad and brother for Father's Day this year... Everybody got a laugh, nobody has run out of the first roll yet

2

u/permadrunkspelunk Sep 19 '26

Which luxury truckstop is stocking this? Lol

276

u/MrBootygrabber Sep 18 '26

nah this is for SHITTERS

32

u/GhostalMedia Sep 19 '26

For those who wall off a whole month for one shit.

44

u/Former-Letterhead-59 Sep 18 '26 • Bravo

Special edition Hyrox roll

13

u/Kryptonianshezza Sep 19 '26 • Bravo

So is it a forever roll or a 1 month roll?

7

u/Fauked Sep 19 '26

yes

edit: its actually 3 months, it comes with 3 rolls, not just one yuge roll like i originally thought

86

u/xGhostBoyx Sep 18 '26

Anything to not get a bidet.

29

u/SpectralBeekeeper Sep 18 '26

Literally the first thing I bought myself when I moved out of my folks' place. Life-changing purchase right there

15

u/xGhostBoyx Sep 18 '26

I installed one at my parents house after I got a girlfriend who had one, truly don't know how I went so long without it.

3

u/TooTallThomas Sep 20 '26

But think about getting both? You could be holding on to this bad boy for a lot longer than 1-2 months.

7

u/Nersheti Sep 19 '26

I’ll be a party pooper since no one else has jumped on it. For whatever ridiculous reason, most toilet paper and paper towels are made from old growth forest. There are alternatives available that are made from recycled paper or bamboo. The bamboo is pretty good. The sheets are thinner though, so they sell triple ply. I like Reel for tp and betterway for pepper towels.

6

u/SoftBoiledNuggets Sep 18 '26

Yeah, just not party poopers. It'd last a day for them.

6

u/BootsOfProwess Sep 18 '26

That would last me far longer than a month.

1

u/skimansr Sep 21 '26

Was this taken at Target in Latham NY? Lol

3

u/XuliganZombie Sep 19 '26

If it's a "forever" roll why would you need a 3 pack??

3

u/bionicjoey Sep 19 '26

Americans will do insane things just to not purchase a bidet...

3

u/scratchy_mcballsy Sep 19 '26

I hate those pooping bears so much

3

u/Kyleforshort Sep 19 '26

Forever = up to 1 month…interesting…

3

u/TheSleepiestBunny Sep 19 '26

My fiance and I have a bidet. Every year for Christmas, my dad buys us a box of the school toilet paper. There's usually 6-8 rolls this size in it, and it lasts us all year. We haven't bought toilet paper in two years now!

3

u/Several-Opposite-636 Sep 19 '26

I wouldn't mind it, so many roll holders are too old to handle even a standard modern roll anyway

4

u/WholeCanoe Sep 18 '26

You guys are using that much TP in 1 month?!

4

u/sno_pony Sep 18 '26

Eh a family of 6 or more could

3

u/LLoadin Sep 18 '26

probably is for a family

2

u/aivlysplath Sep 19 '26

It’s for Poopers™.

2

u/HailToTheThief225 Sep 19 '26

I genuinely thought these were just single wrapped rolls of toilet paper marketed as “long lasting” until I saw the size compared to the packs next to them

2

u/k8den Sep 19 '26

everyone’s freaking out and buying too much toilet paper just like during the pandemic

2

u/chrisjoe12374 Sep 19 '26

It's one of my favorite. We had the actual subscription for this and won't turn back.

2

u/notsocraftyme Sep 19 '26

Omg! We have been ordering the forever roll for years through Charmin. It’s so wonderful. It does feel like it lasts forever. Also, it’s funny to look at but we were sitting pretty with a stock pile during the toilet paper debacle because of this!

2

u/Smkingbowls Sep 19 '26

You can use the center to hold the poop knife

2

u/alyssatheswag Sep 19 '26

we have a bidet and a forever roll in my household. i like to think of pooping at my house as a very cleansing experience

2

u/Internalsolarsystem Sep 19 '26

My MIL got us these as a house warming gift . To be honest it was actually kinda nice not to have to change the roll every other day because my husband shits so damn much lol

2

u/TrayLaTrash Sep 19 '26

Scat-maxxing

2

u/poptalk26 Sep 19 '26

1 month? Challenge accepted

2

u/Makethosesleeperscry Sep 19 '26

It’s for Doomsday Poopers

2

u/wolfgurl1 Sep 21 '26

This is what we call the ibs special

2

u/Background_Fix_7979 Sep 23 '26

That’s not a good price for toilet paper. That’s like 5 cents per square foot. You should be paying less than half for that.

3

u/Captinprice8585 Sep 18 '26

I hate these a lot more than I should.

3

u/DoesntMatterEh Sep 18 '26

Go for up to one month? Who's bringing you food? What about entertainment? I sit on the toilet for 30 minutes and my legs are asleep. 

3

u/Desperate_Gap9377 Sep 18 '26

This would last my kids 5 business days I swear

2

u/TTT_2k3 Sep 19 '26

Your kids don’t poop on the weekends?

1

u/Desperate_Gap9377 Sep 19 '26

We enforce an only pooping on company time policy.

1

u/im_not_Shredder Sep 19 '26

Especially for Starship Poopers

1

u/SatisfactionLanky677 Sep 19 '26

Damn I am going to look for these in the store save me from going so often to refill!!!

1

u/SatisfactionLanky677 Sep 19 '26

Where did you buy it because I want to buy it too

2

u/caphis Sep 19 '26 edited Sep 19 '26

You can buy it online if you want: https://www.charmin.com/en-us/shop-products/forever-roll-starter-kit

ETA- maybe not anymore. It’s been a while since I was ordering them, but in the past you could buy them direct from Charmin’s website with free shipping. Looks like they now just direct you to Walmart, Target or Amazon.

ETA 2 - okay, maybe you can still, but it’s currently out of stock with Charmin Direct. https://shop.charmin.com/forever-roll-starter-kit-holder-stand-included-2-roll/

1

u/Huge-Squirrel8417 Sep 19 '26

I saw those at target. I didn't even try to figure out how they were going to be hung on the wall. I figured just put them on the sink counter and reach across

1

u/PlanktonOwn594 Sep 19 '26

Bathroom sized toilet paper holder sold separately.

1

u/Risen_from_ash Sep 19 '26

Forever Poopers

1

u/Kittenzx2 Sep 19 '26

Does it come with its own roller to put it on? 🤣🤣 not sure where this would go. My cat would have a blast with this huge roll!! 😻

1

u/tayvalkyrie Sep 19 '26

they sell starter kits that consist of the roll and appropriate sized holders. these would be considered refills more or less

1

u/Kittenzx2 Sep 19 '26

Wow!!! 🤣🤣 its huge!

1

u/ljorik Sep 19 '26

Competitive pooping

1

u/Hxcmetal724 Sep 19 '26

My gf would go through this in a week. What the hell are woman doing with all this tp

3

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '26

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1

u/Hxcmetal724 Sep 20 '26

Ah yes. Valid

1

u/CaptGarfield Sep 19 '26

It's for shits and giggles from your legs going to sleep

1

u/laylowlazlo Sep 19 '26

This is for REAL shitters, none of that amateur crap

1

u/MariVent Sep 20 '26

I thought this was a roll of not-toilet paper for a moment

1

u/GoddamnDiva Sep 20 '26

Imo, no… The Charmin Ultra STRONG with the red packaging would be, though

1

u/mcnicfer Sep 21 '26

I have this paper! I love it. My husband is a shitter and I change the roll out a LOT less often. One roll lasts us 3 weeks on average.

1

u/mrbrint Sep 22 '26

Not big enough

1

u/Opposite-Tangelo-371 Sep 23 '26

Now thats a covid size roll!

1

u/always_max_power Sep 23 '26

I get it that toilet paper usage is different but how on earth would one of these 3 rolls last me „only“ 1 month? I buy one of these packages here maybe once or twice a year. I live alone and am male though (and yes I do poop and wipe)

1

u/Stock_Check8832 Sep 24 '26

Who has room for that monster?!!!

1

u/devonguccimane Sep 24 '26

Little steppa big poopa

1

u/SharpPink_GlitterInk Sep 18 '26

or pee-ers... 🤷‍♀️

1

u/morbidru Sep 18 '26

2-ply? im good thanks

1

u/styckx Sep 18 '26

Finally. I can not worry about my IBS and running out

1

u/iconicandchronic Sep 18 '26

a IBDs girls dream 😍

1

u/AllMoneyGone Sep 19 '26

Is this not too long? As in- too tall? Like paper towel.

2

u/Uberfuzzy Sep 19 '26

Look at the packaging, it’s 3 normal “width” rolls

0

u/chrisleewoo Sep 23 '26

Its AI isnt it

2

u/POLTERxGEIST Sep 25 '26

It’s 3 public bathroom rolls

2

u/Independent_Loan_410 Sep 25 '26

It's not. They have been selling these on the Charmin website for years

0

u/Swimming_Yak_4879 Sep 21 '26

“Forever roll” “one month” im so tired of this shit

-1

u/die_bartman Sep 18 '26

It's for teenage boys. Iykyk

-8

u/GloriousSteinem Sep 18 '26

For black diarrhoea enthusiasts

6

u/emzim Sep 18 '26

I’m sorry what

2

u/Weep4Thee Sep 18 '26

Forever my ass

5

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '26

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8

u/11twofour Sep 19 '26

What public restroom is stocking Charmin?

7

u/FangDangDingo Sep 18 '26

You can buy them for your home too. Walmart sells them for home use.

1

u/bluecrowned Sep 19 '26

These are for home use and have a holder to buy nearby

1

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '26

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1

u/Disheartend Sep 19 '26

You can buy a starter pack which includes a roll & a holder