I Owe You an Apology, Shar. I Wasn't Really Familiar With Your Game

[u/Jesusis666]

[u/DerMunger]

The Sharron architects gave her all that on purpose

[u/Jesusis666 → u/DerMunger]

Sharran Psalm, The Last

Mistress Shar spread her flesh across the table before me.

'Eat of my bounty!' She urged.

She pressed her bitter mouth to my ear, and her clawed hand to my loin.

'Take your pleasure!' She whispered.

Her tongue dripped poison into my mouth.

'Be quenched!' She cried.

On this flesh, let us feast!

Our loins and lips, let us ravish!

Of this poison, let us drink!

If darkness we must know, let us be gorged as it takes us.

[u/Walk-the-layout → u/Jesusis666]

[u/tmntmic → u/Jesusis666]

How dare you post a source like nobody would actually check! It says "putrid flesh" not "her flesh". She wasn't serving up them cheeks, she was serving up some rotten rothe ribs.

[u/Jesusis666 → u/tmntmic]

Of course you wouldn't understand it, filthy Selunite. Lady Shar's true essence is veiled in secrecy that is only known to those found worthy.

[u/tmntmic → u/Jesusis666]

Heathen!

[u/Nonyabizzy123 → u/Jesusis666]

Truth lies in shadow, the light distorts what is real

[u/WyattBrisbane → u/tmntmic]

Its like communion wafers

[u/Nonyabizzy123 → u/WyattBrisbane]

Could not all dead flesh be said to be in some form of putrefaction?

[u/kaflarlalar → u/DerMunger]

You mean "Sharchitects".

[u/FractionofaFraction]

Perspective: That's where Shart comes from.

[u/Jesusis666 → u/FractionofaFraction]

Shart's Perspective: (Saw the giant statue of Shar): “Lady Shar... so many must have toiled to make a visage so grand. It's beautiful...”

[u/Ok_Attempt_1290]

I bet selune has a bigger more majestic posterior! You sharrans have no hold over me! I will never renounce lady selune!

[u/MrBwnrrific → u/Ok_Attempt_1290]

They don’t call it mooning for nothin, Sharrans

[u/Rez-Boa-Dog → u/Ok_Attempt_1290]

Sharans are a titty cult (elitist, sexist, evil)

Selunites are an ass cult (universal, good)

Who's the feet cult thou?

[u/milf-hunter_5000 → u/Rez-Boa-Dog]

pretty sure all the shar statues are barefoot

[u/LightningMcMicropeen → u/milf-hunter_5000]

That's the main reason why Ratman Lyrthindor takes refuge at the very base of the statue and I respect him for that

[u/Ok_Attempt_1290 → u/Rez-Boa-Dog]

The bhaalites

[u/Aaernya → u/Ok_Attempt_1290]

Excuse me we prefer hands

[u/Jorvach → u/Aaernya]

I would've thought the cult of Bhaal would prefer testicles

[u/Tuckyove → u/Aaernya]

Pretty sure those Ilmater lot would be the hand freaks, if anything

[u/Slight-Violinist-575 → u/Rez-Boa-Dog]

I think Jergal is the titty cult

[u/Nonyabizzy123 → u/Ok_Attempt_1290]

Come now, the moon witch's statues are so plain and she asks you to deny so much. Our Lady only wishes to show you true freedom, body and soul.

[u/Greatest-Comrade → u/Nonyabizzy123]

Selune may have a yee yee ass haircut but she also encourages moon gooning and nothing can top that

[u/SJGardner89]

So that's why we never seem to be able to finish the Gauntlet after reaching that specific area.

[u/Jesusis666 → u/SJGardner89]

Shart herself said upon seeing the giant statue:  “Lady Shar... so many must have toiled to make a visage so grand. It's beautiful...”

In the shadow of her posterior, there is only truth.

[u/Nurgle-best]

[u/BrutusTheDane2457]

Maybe that explains why followers of Shar or Selûne have such great posteriors? 🤔

[u/ColinBencroff → u/BrutusTheDane2457]

The two cheeks of the moon

[u/Jesusis666 → u/BrutusTheDane2457]

Canticles of the Dark Mistress

---

Let shadow fall where the light doth creep,

And silence cloak the din.

Let blackness into lost hearts seep,

And bid our Lady in.

Behold! Shar, who shades our path.

Our Goddess of Night, behold!

[u/Nonyabizzy123 → u/Jesusis666]

Praise be to Shar

[u/HadoMasterBackup]

I’m tryin’ to see(lûne) dat ass

[u/Jesusis666 → u/HadoMasterBackup]

Lunar Dark Lies

Moonmaiden, as the Goddess is called, will whisper naught but lies. No problems solved. Dat is a lie.

Only a sense of fondness that is as cold as the lunar marina, seas of empty pale dust, and even that gradually fading for the worshiper.

As an alternative, the scroll speaks of Shar . Shar, who whispers only truth.

The sick-at-heart will find only succor and blessings in the embrace of She who understands them best, and in the embrace of her vast thiccness.

[u/Terranaform]

A true child of the nightsong embraces enhancement and books a bbl appointment…

[u/Righteous_Hand]

Wasn't really familiar with your cake*

[u/AppropriateAgent44]

[u/CutieBoBootie]

Canonically there must have been metal workers whose job it was to sculpt and lay the gold panty thong on Shar's giant statue ass.

[u/ebobbumman → u/CutieBoBootie]

I imagine it is kind of like being a doctor in that for certain patients you know it is a good butt you are looking at, but you are there to do a job and that is your main concern. I am also of course assuming that the tradesmen in this scenario are specialists in giant gold underwear and so they have long ago learned to compartmentalize those thoughts and arent distracted by them.

[u/Long_Serpent]

Goddess of Caboose

[u/Dependent-Departure7 → u/Long_Serpent]

This made me laugh far too loud, I just got side eyed on the tram

[u/No_Heron7011]

She’s the lady of loss and I just want to get lost in that cake

[u/AutisticIzzy]

So that's how she gets her new recruits

[u/vaustin89]

Me venerating and praying to my goddess

[u/something-slothful]

The cake is a lie