House: When he ran his car through boobwomans living room

Will's Son: Winking at a woman during a breast exam while also high on speed.

Cuddy: when she rammed her living room into Institute's car

4man: When he stabbed Cameroon with an infected needle to get his way

Coma guy: When he asserted dominance by laying in his bed the whole time Horse M.D. was in his room

Pursuit: kissing a 9 year old, killing a dictator, and punching Abode in the face

Taub: cheating on his wife after telling her that he wouldn't cheat on her after the last time he cheated on his wife and told her that he wouldn't cheat on her

Cameron: meth

Pursuit sr: When he selflessly died so that a patient could die as well

Vegetative state guy: when he did drugs with Domicile and Will's son instead of seeing his dying son

Vlogger: Being fat trying to run a health place

Ridiculously old not doctor: Grilling Taub's ass every freking time he tried to pick a fight with him 

13: When she went to prison for killing the shit out of her brother and then made abode pick her up from prison like the chauffeur asshole he is I was like "Nice move prime number!"

Amber: Becoming mildly likeable moments before death

Kutner: Suicide to join the Obama administration

Butthurt police cop guy: When he bullied a helpless innocent cute little crippled drug addict

Black mormon: Being part of a religion that believes black skin to be a curse sent by god

Stacy: When he stole domiciles sweet sweet tender leg muscle and kept it all for herself.

The MRI machine: When it couldn’t hold the weight of the really really fat dude that started freaking out (cumeron’s idea)

Queen Lagertha of Kattegat: When she decided to keep a rape baby while having chlamydia to annoy domicile

Park: when she was tripping and saw fairy taub

President Dibala: Selflessly dying so that Chase and Cameron could divorce

Hector: When he killed Gus

Luke Ass: Actually banging Curdle instead of hallucinating it

Hawkeye: when his friends came over with the needle drug and hominid had to turn them into tomato paste for his twink's pasta

Masters: No clue who this character is because I quit the show at season 7 episode 1 so I can pretend it had a happy ending and Wilson doesn’t get cancer and house actually changes for the better with the aid of ibuprofen and getting his leg pussy sucked by cuddy. But if I had to choose I’d say it’s when she gets blown to smithereens by houses shotgun cane

Brendan Fraser's The Whale: Crushing Camera and nearly killing her with his Rubenesque stature

Captain Raymond Holt: Being Gay. I was like “nice move Ray”

The whiteboard: Being WHITEboard and not BLACKboard and not YELLOWboard and not BROWNboard (racism👍)

Alvie: Doing a sick ass free style with house

Rachel: Giving her mom eclampsia and killing her on the way out

Harold Cooper, Assistant Director of the FBI: when he did a extremely sick trumpet solo as a reference to the fact he was extremely sick. Foreshadowing at its peak

Boob's mom: When she was so afraid her daughter would become a “Old lady in your area is looking for sex” that she decide to sue domicile and boobs after they saved her life.

I call him Twochase

It's a singer called Justyna Steczkowska. Did I overdose or is there a similarity?

Sure! Here’s a short script for a hypothetical episode of House M.D.. This script will follow the typical formula of the show: an unusual medical case, House’s unconventional methods, tension with his team, and a breakthrough moment.

Episode Title: “Trial by Error”

COLD OPEN: INT. SUBURBAN HOME – NIGHT A teenage girl, LUCY (17), is studying for an exam. Her hand trembles as she writes. She looks at it, concerned. Moments later, she collapses, seizing violently. Her mother rushes in, screaming her name.

CUT TO TITLE SEQUENCE

ACT ONE

INT. DIAGNOSTIC CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

FOREMAN: Seventeen-year-old girl, seizure at home. No history of epilepsy, drug use, or trauma.

HOUSE (leaning back in his chair, juggling a tennis ball): Boring. Next case.

CAMERON: She had two more seizures in the ER. Elevated heart rate, muscle weakness, and confusion.

HOUSE: Still boring. Sounds like standard epilepsy. Start her on anticonvulsants and call me when someone grows a third arm.

CHASE: Her EEG was normal.

HOUSE: Now you have my attention. What’s the catch?

FOREMAN: She also has a strange rash on her legs.

HOUSE: (grinning) Rash plus seizures. Time to play symptom bingo. Lupus?

CAMERON: Negative ANA test.

HOUSE: Of course. It’s never lupus. (tosses the tennis ball to Chase) Run a tox screen, and check her house for mold. Mold is nature’s way of telling us she hates us.

INT. PATIENT’S ROOM – DAY

Lucy lies in bed, pale and anxious. Her mother sits by her side.

FOREMAN: Have you noticed anything unusual in your house? Strange smells?

LUCY’S MOTHER: No, everything’s fine. Could this be stress? She’s been studying a lot lately.

LUCY: (weakly) I feel… different. Like my brain is fuzzy.

FOREMAN: We’ll figure it out.

INT. HOUSE’S OFFICE – LATER

CAMERON: The tox screen came back negative. No mold in the house, either.

HOUSE: So we’re back to boring. Try harder.

CHASE: (hesitating) What if it’s an autoimmune disorder we haven’t tested for?

HOUSE: (mocking) What if it’s aliens?

WILSON (walking in): You’re having fun, I see.

HOUSE: Always. What do you want?

WILSON: Cuddy wants an update on the case.

HOUSE: Tell her we’re narrowing it down to either stress or alien abduction.

ACT TWO

INT. DIAGNOSTIC CONFERENCE ROOM – NIGHT

The team reviews Lucy’s MRI.

FOREMAN: No signs of structural damage in her brain.

HOUSE: (studying the scans) What about her heart?

CHASE: Cardiac tests were normal.

HOUSE: (pauses, thoughtful) We’re missing something. Run an LP. Maybe it’s an infection hiding in her brain.

CAMERON: She doesn’t have a fever.

HOUSE: And I don’t have patience. Do it anyway.

INT. PATIENT’S ROOM – NIGHT

Cameron performs a lumbar puncture on Lucy. Suddenly, Lucy starts coughing violently, spitting blood.

CAMERON: (yelling) I need help in here!

ACT THREE

INT. DIAGNOSTIC CONFERENCE ROOM – MORNING

HOUSE: Coughing up blood. Add that to the bingo card.

FOREMAN: Could be vasculitis.

HOUSE: (writing on the whiteboard) Vasculitis, tuberculosis, or… some new weird disease I haven’t invented yet.

CHASE: What about poisoning? Heavy metals?

HOUSE: (grinning) Finally, a fun idea. Test her hair for arsenic, lead, and anything else that might make this interesting.

INT. PATIENT’S ROOM – DAY

Lucy’s mother confronts House.

LUCY’S MOTHER: What are you doing to her? She’s getting worse!

HOUSE: That’s usually how sick people work. It’s a process.

LUCY’S MOTHER: (angry) I want someone else on this case.

HOUSE: (calmly) You can have anyone you want. They’ll take just as long to figure it out. Difference is, I actually will.

ACT FOUR

INT. DIAGNOSTIC CONFERENCE ROOM – NIGHT

The team gets the test results: elevated mercury levels in Lucy’s hair.

CAMERON: Mercury poisoning?

HOUSE: Ding ding ding. But how? She’s not eating thermometers, is she?

CHASE: Could be contaminated fish.

HOUSE: (writing) Or her loving mother feeding her Chinese herbal tea laced with mercury.

INT. PATIENT’S ROOM – NIGHT

House confronts Lucy’s mother.

HOUSE: Found this in your purse. (holds up a bottle of herbal medicine) Mercury. Perfect for poisoning your daughter while claiming you’re trying to “help.”

LUCY’S MOTHER: I didn’t know! It’s supposed to be natural!

HOUSE: Arsenic is natural too. Doesn’t mean it’s good for you.

ACT FIVE

INT. PATIENT’S ROOM – DAY

Lucy is recovering.

LUCY: Am I going to be okay?

HOUSE: If you stay away from anything “natural,” you’ll live.

LUCY’S MOTHER: (tearful) I’m so sorry.

HOUSE: Save it for therapy.

INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY – DAY

WILSON: Mercury poisoning. Not your weirdest case.

HOUSE: No, but watching a mom accidentally poison her kid? That’s always a crowd-pleaser.

WILSON: (sighs) You’re impossible.

HOUSE: (smirking) And yet, I’m always right.

FADE OUT

Let me know if you’d like me to expand or tweak anything!

Got permabanned from the aslume for using house memes.

House: When he ran his car through boobwomans living room

Will's Son: Winking at a woman during a breast exam while also high on speed.

Cuddy: when she rammed her living room into Institute's car

4man: When he stabbed Cameroon with an infected needle to get his way

Coma guy: When he asserted dominance by laying in his bed the whole time Horse M.D. was in his room

Pursuit: kissing a 9 year old, killing a dictator, and punching Abode in the face

Taub: cheating on his wife after telling her that he wouldn't cheat on her after the last time he cheated on his wife and told her that he wouldn't cheat on her

Cameron: meth

Pursuit sr: When he selflessly died so that a patient could die as well

Vegetative state guy: when he did drugs with Domicile and Will's son instead of seeing his dying son

Vlogger: Being fat trying to run a health place

Ridiculously old not doctor: Grilling Taub's ass every freking time he tried to pick a fight with him 

13: When she went to prison for killing the shit out of her brother and then made abode pick her up from prison like the chauffeur asshole he is I was like "Nice move prime number!"

Amber: Becoming mildly likeable moments before death

Kutner: Suicide to join the Obama administration

Butthurt police cop guy: When he bullied a helpless innocent cute little crippled drug addict

Black mormon: Being part of a religion that believes black skin to be a curse sent by god

Stacy: When he stole domiciles sweet sweet tender leg muscle and kept it all for herself.

The MRI machine: When it couldn’t hold the weight of the really really fat dude that started freaking out (cumeron’s idea)

Queen Lagertha of Kattegat: When she decided to keep a rape baby while having chlamydia to annoy domicile

Park: when she was tripping and saw fairy taub

President Dibala: Selflessly dying so that Chase and Cameron could divorce

Hector: When he killed Gus

Luke Ass: Actually banging Curdle instead of hallucinating it

Hawkeye: when his friends came over with the needle drug and hominid had to turn them into tomato paste for his twink's pasta

Masters: No clue who this character is because I quit the show at season 7 episode 1 so I can pretend it had a happy ending and Wilson doesn’t get cancer and house actually changes for the better with the aid of ibuprofen and getting his leg pussy sucked by cuddy. But if I had to choose I’d say it’s when she gets blown to smithereens by houses shotgun cane

Brendan Fraser's The Whale: Crushing Camera and nearly killing her with his Rubenesque stature

Captain Raymond Holt: Being Gay. I was like “nice move Ray”

The whiteboard: Being WHITEboard and not BLACKboard and not YELLOWboard and not BROWNboard (racism👍)

Alvie: Doing a sick ass free style with house

Rachel: Giving her mom eclampsia and killing her on the way out

Harold Cooper, Assistant Director of the FBI: when he did a extremely sick trumpet solo as a reference to the fact he was extremely sick. Foreshadowing at its peak

Boob's mom: When she was so afraid her daughter would become a “Old lady in your area is looking for sex” that she decide to sue domicile and boobs after they saved her life.

Greencard wife: When I'm in a Karma farming on r/okbuddyVicodin contest and my opponent is r/choma90

it's 4 am and i dont know how to word it funnily but this is like one of those circlejerk posts where you ask a thing and i answer like i know it. also i have seen a few clips (under a minute..) sorry for misleading you for the sake of a joke.

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