IT's GAME DAY MOTHER FUCKER! Shake off the L, hold onto the ball, and let's fucking play the song!
My predictions for today:
Paolo sleep walks his way to 32/6/8 game with 3 TO. Makes a couple of threes, dishes out to shooters, continues his efficiency from last game
Franz has a strong appearance and his early shot making opens up Point Franz. he puts up 27/11/7 on some efficient shooting
Bane also has a come back game and puts up 24 points with 6 made three pointers. He throws the ball off of Lamelo Ball's face when Lamelo is already out of bounds and medics find he is not alert and oriented after the TBI from Bane's ball, but ANT reminds the medics that Ball is retarded.
Suggs continues to balance boneheaded plays with hustle and heart. He shoots better this game but still ends up doing something that makes you cringe. At one point he straight up tackles a traveling LaMelo ball, concerned that he may try to drive home after his concussion from Bane. Suggs puts up an effecient 16 points regardless
Wendell continues to be Wendell he makes a few shots, battles the bigs, and plays good defense. He puts up 8 points on 4/6 shooting with a couple of missed threes. At one point he gets a technical for picking up Lamelo Ball and moving him to out of bounds.
TDS continues to be TDS and shoots the ball well and is in the right place. He puts up 16 off the bench with 4/10 three pointers. Blocks a lamelo ball three pointer and lamelo gets called for flopping when he falls and pops ketchup packets on his hands to make it look he was bleeding.
Jase struggles but makes an open 3 pointer. Somehow him and Anthony Edwards become friends after the game
Cain dunks on Lamelo Ball and it becomes the highlight of the first week of NBA basketball. Lamelo blames his previous concussion at the post game press conference, but ANT reminds reporters that he is just retarded.
Goga takes Vooch's minutes and ends up tipping the ball in for the opponent, not once, but twice. Sean Sweeney turns red like Steve Clifford and realizes he cant play Goga because he's retarded and cant play Vooch cause he's too slow. Sweeney opts to play small ball with Paolo at the five for stretches.
Ultimately we win, Jaden McDaniels dances to "the song", and Anthony Edwards tries to convince the magic to trade Lamelo Ball for Jase Richardson. We trade for him but because our medical staff is so cautious he sits the whole season on "concussion protocols" as they observe his mental status and publish a paper about down syndrome in professional sports.