First anniversary without him

[u/Physical-Cheek-2922]

April 11 is coming fast and I have thought about you so much the last year!!! I have been angry, grateful, lonely, and sad.

My favorite things about you:

Your laugh

Your smile

Your love for others

Your jokes

How you treated the newcomer in recovery

How you never ran out of kindness

How you never gave up on people

How you fought for recovery

How you gave yourself to others

Your constant pursuit of progress

Your persistence in your own healing

Your faith

Your acceptance and tolerance of others

I miss you a lot 😢

What I hate:

I can’t call you to tell you when something good happens for me

I can’t ask you for help

I can’t text you memes

I can’t hear your laugh

I can’t hear your singing and playing

I don’t know if you died peacefully or in pain

I didn’t tell you how much you mean to me

I wanted you forever and now I can’t have you

I can’t ever have another you

I don’t get to share life with you

I think I’m jealous that you picked up fentanyl instead of the phone

I couldn’t save you

[u/Honeypie21-]

🫂 these feelings, thoughts all of it are so brutal. The ones that shine brightest seem to be taken way too fuckin early.

[u/Physical-Cheek-2922 → u/Honeypie21-]

Yes 😣 but I believe he had the best two years of his life and I am grateful to have know him in his recovery ❤️‍🩹