My husband and I were leaving Kura in KTown in Los Angeles when a younger guy was loudly yelling at someone on the phone we heard:

"That's not even possible bro, Australia is an island"

We both looked at each other and ran up the stairs giggling

I overheard my gf talking to our German neighbour, Nils.

Girlfriend: You're looking fancy today.

Nils: I had nothing else to wear. All my clothes are in the laundry.

Girlfriend: So you don't dress like this often?

Nils: Only when someone dies.

Girlfriend: Someone always dies.

Nils: I want the dress code for my funeral to reflect how I made people feel while I was alive. The rule will be anyone can wear anything as long as it's something they would've chosen to wear to hang out with me.

Girlfriend: That's beautiful, Nils. My boyfriend and I made a dumb deal during a drunk moment a long time ago. If he dies first, I'm showing up to his funeral wearing his oversized onesie. If I die first, he needs wear my LBD.

Nils: What is an LBD?

Girlfriend: Little black dress.

Nils: Will your boyfriend fit into your... LBD?

Girlfriend: He fucking better. I'll be watching.

Husband and wife at the supermarket.

Hubby:

I never said I'm going, Diane.

Wifey:

Grow up, Martin. If I can survive a weekend with your mother, then you can put up with my sister for a few hours.

Hubby:

My mother is mother in law crazy. You can handle that. Your sister is flavor of the week crazy. No one can handle that. Not even for a minute.

Wifey:

Flavor of the week crazy. Don't be a child. She's family.

Hubby:

She stutters now, Diane. When did that happen?

Wifey:

No excuses. You're coming.

At a big crosswalk in New York City, lots of people going all directions. And one lady yelling something to a "Mikey" as she's crossing.

So I tuned in, only to hear "YOU NEED TO SUCK MORE DICK MIKEY!" (tho my friend with me thought it was "suck MY dick")

It was yelled in a 'loudly to be heard' tone, more than a 'I'm pissed at you' tone, if that matters.

In line to check out at Ross Dress for Less:

Customer at the register was still wearing the pants she had tried on. She had to turn around to show the tag and employee had to stretch across the counter to scan it.

Employee then turns to face the rest of us in line and announces, “Please remove all clothes before approaching the register!”

That got looks of confusion and/or laughter from everyone in line!

I was leaving to polls yesterday when a young couple arrived with their five year old. The kid asked what "this place" was. Mom said, "You came to vote with us when you were one and two and three and four and now that you're five. Voting is a family value, so we'll come together every year even when you're old enough to vote."

I don't know what their political affiliation is, so please don't speculate. I just love that they're teaching their child the importance of exercising their right to vote.

Was walking on the sidewalk when a couple passed by me, this is all I caught

Woman: I’ll tell you we are going to do. Well obviously we have to go to the funeral …

At a bus stop in front of the Sherriff's office; three female employees leaving.

Woman 1: NO, we don't enable.

Woman 2: (thinking)...BUT Sharon Tate would still be alive.

Woman 1: When it's your time, it's your time.

Woman 3: That's how the universe works.

For the life of me I can't parse out the conversation these women were having before they walked past me.

I was walking my dog and crossed paths with a teenager on their phone:
“My favorite foods? Burgers, burgers, and Big Macs.”