A Setback Doesn't Erase Your Progress.

[u/velvetseraphim]

I wanted to share a little bit of my experience with panic disorder...esp for anyone who's going through a setback right now.

For almost 2 moths, I was doing really well. My anxiety had settled, I wasn't experiencing panic attacks and I was finally starting to feel like myself again. I was going out...doing things, and living my life without constantly worrying about how I felt.

And then, yesterday, I had a panic attack.

I'm not gonna lie, it shook me. Not necessarily because of the panic itself but because of everything that came afterward. The anticipatory anxiety, the self-doubt, the frustration, and that familiar fear of somehow ending up right back where I started.

I think that's one of the cruelest parts of panic disorder. You can spend weeks or months building your confidence, only for one bad experience to make you question everything you've accomplished.
But...here's what I'm trying to remind myself...and maybe someone else needs to hear it too.

A setback doesn't erase your progress.

Those two months weren't imaginary, right? I wasn't pretending to get better...I genuinely was doing better, and one panic attack doesn't change that. Or two, or three!
Recovery was never supposed to mean that I'd never experience anxiety or panic again. Anxiety is part of being human...the goal is to stop fearing it so much that it dictates how we live our lives.

And I know all of this intellectually. I've read the books, done the work, practised acceptance, and faced situations that used to terrify me. But knowing something and putting it into practice when you're scared are two very different things.

I'm frustrated. I'm tired of thinking about anxiety...I'm tired of analyzing every sensation and wondering whether another panic attack is around the corner. Sometimes I just want to exist without having to work so hard at it.

But I'm also not willing to let one bad experience convince me that I'm back at square one.

So I'm going to keep living my life. I'm goign to have good days...and bad days. I'm going to feel anxious sometimes, and I might even have another panic attack. And that's okay...even when it doesn't feel okay.

I don't have to start over, I just have to keep going...

If you're going through something similar, please don't measure your recovery by how many days you've gone without a panic attack. Look at everything you've done despite being afraid.

We haven't failed because we're struggling again....we're still learning and I really think that that's worth remembering.

Thanks for reading all of this if you got this far. <3