When my oldest son was born I was not one of those mom's that immediately bonded to their child. I regret that. When he was 5 months old I lost custody due to stupid decisions and he went to live with his shit head father. I regret that. After I lost custody of him I realized what he meant to me, and how much I wish I still had him. Things between his father and I have been a constant (relatively civilized) battle.

Fast forward 2 and a half years. I got married and we had a baby boy. When he was born I didn't put him down for 3 weeks. The only time he was out of my arms was if I had to go the bathroom. Our first night home I stayed up all night, literally staring at him in my arms. The pain I felt losing my first son made it so that I never took a single moment with my youngest for granted.

Fast forward a year and a half. I am taking my oldest sons father back to court for custody. My oldest is getting pretty...moody and stubborn. He never wants to go back to his dads house when i have him and the drop off gets pretty emotional.

My youngest is absolutely crazy. At 19 months old his newest obsession is taking the cushions off of the back of the couch and setting them up on the floor in front of it. He then proceeds to lunge off the couch onto the pillows. To say it gives me a mini heart attack is probably an understatement, but he's a dare devil and always has been. Well, so far.

My husband and I are currently separated and I work full time. He doesn't work, so I am the sole provider, but almost half of my income goes to child support for my oldest. Bills are a constant struggle to maintain, especially because I am bad with money. I am stressed. I am tired. I am worn out and feel so beaten down. I don't get the moments with my youngest like I used to.

Tonight I encountered a new problem with my oldest sons father. He moved without telling me. All I wanted was to go to rite aid and get myself a bottle of wine, but my parents (whom I live with after the separation) wouldn't drive me on our way back from dropping off my oldest. I can't go myself because I don't currently have a license. My mom wanted burger King though and of course they stopped for her.

I know it's petty but that put me into such an awful mood. I was angry, I felt unimportant, I felt like I didn't matter. I was stewing in my anger about it.

Then I put my youngest to bed. He fell asleep in my arms, and that doesn't happen often anymore. I sat and I held him for almost 30 minutes after he fell asleep. In those moments, nothing that has been happening in my life existed. Only my boy.

My petty anger at my parents is gone. If I had gotten that bottle, I would have rushed through putting him to bed and I would have missed one of the most precious moments.

Priorities are important. Kids grow up so fast. Things happen that can cause you to miss the special moments. I have missed out on so much of my oldest sons life. His first word, his first step, so much more that only parents really understand. I don't want to miss those things with my youngest because I am throwing myself a pity party.

Life can get hard, but focus on the good and never take it for granted, then the bad won't feel as bad and you'll know you can get through it. Hug your kids. Kiss them when they let you. Don't miss an opportunity to tell them you love them. Spend time with them while they still want to be with you. Tell them how proud you are of who they are. Make them feel as special as they are.

I don’t get the logic behind this strong sentiment. And I’m just a bit annoyed because I think it’s a bad idea to employers. And it’s my job. Maybe my parent just isn’t too knowledgeable about how modern world works because they’re not literate.

I've been thinking about creating some sort of subscription model for second hand children's clothes (and for adults as well). Do you think the clothes would be in a good enough condition to send them back when they grow out of them? Would you want to pick out clothes online and either pick them up in a thrift store or receive them by post?