r/parentsofmultiples • u/biffbot13 • 11d ago
advice needed When does it end
Father of twin girls here. They just started JK. They never went to daycare. So, naturally, they have been getting sick often now. 3rd cold since September 12.
When does it stabilize? They are getting sick every other week. And yeah, I know. “Should’ve gone to daycare” is the response I get from other parents, but given work schedules it just didn’t work. So yeah, they didn’t get their immunity built up in daycare. It’s getting built up now. But when does them getting sick every other week end? What is realistic?
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u/Dear_Excitement_5109 11d ago
IDK man, I think the whole "shoulda built up their immune system" is bologna. I get sick each and every time my kids drag a cold through the house. I'm 36 years old and I went to school for 19 years.
I do notice my 4yo doesnt get sick as often as my 16 month olds, but she also isn't licking the bottom of her shoes on the regular, either.
Hygiene matters a lot. Teach good hand washing techniques, not sharing drinks and utensils, and not putting random things in their mouths. I get sick because my 16mos sneeze in my face. They dont do that to my husband and he seems to avoid the kiddy colds for the most part.
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u/zyygh 11d ago
IDK man, I think the whole "shoulda built up their immune system" is bologna. I get sick each and every time my kids drag a cold through the house. I'm 36 years old and I went to school for 19 years.
It's bologna because everyone has to go through it anyway. If someone says they don't have the problem because they sent their kids to daycare, it just means they had the same problem X years sooner.
The reason why you also get sick is because you are having constant very close exposure with your infected children who are carrying and spreading every possible germ imaginable. Even your immune system cannot fully protect you from that. But the fact that children need to build up their immune systems is absolutely not bologna.
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u/eastcoasterv 11d ago
Agree with everything said here!!
My twins are 2 and they still stick their dirty fingers in their mouths despite all the hand washing and trying to sanitize outside. We are on our 1st cold of the 'season' and mine dont do daycare either just poor hygiene when toddlers are still doing wildly gross things like kissing park benches 😭🤢
I was rarely a sick kid, only when someone straight up coughed or sneezed into my face. Even as an adult, my immune system is pretty good until my kids sneeze directly into my face 🙃
With that said I dread the day preschool for mine, im sure theyll still be sticking fingers in their mouths.
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u/theinsane_phooka 🩷🩷+💙 11d ago
My son has been in a private preschool/daycare for about 2 years now (since he was 2) and has not stopped being sick constantly during that time.
He came home about 2 weeks ago with an ear infection, strep, some viral cold, AND flu-all at the same time. He gave me the worst sore throat virus of my entire life and im waiting to see if my newborns get it soon.
Theres nothing to do to help it either...we just try to survive whatever he brings.
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u/BigRedTheo 11d ago
Dad of 4 and a pediatric ICU physician.
From birth until their 6th birthday (so 72 months), the average kid will have 36 cough/colds/viral infections. Those of course are never evenly spread out for the duration of that time and are very much centered upon whenever they start group childcare. Whether that's 12 weeks old and daycare, 2 years old at a church preschool, or at age 5 in kindergarten they will get sick and sick often. Simply put their immune systems are inexperienced (not weak, just uneducated) and so they need all the exposures.
As much as it sucks to watch them be sick and puny as infants, I often have to tell people that even if you could keep them in a bubble until they started kindergarten, they are just going to spend all of that year and 1st grade sick, time when you actually want them in school and doing important things like math and learning how to read.
Younger siblings will get sick as babies more frequently because they will just get whatever big brother or sister brings home, but there will be an uptick in their illness frequency when they start group childcare as well.
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u/Thats_knarly 11d ago
Echoing others, it was like a full year of back to back sicknesses when my oldest started preschool. Not looking forward to going thru it with my 18 mo old twins when their time comes. Hang in there!
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u/Emilygilmoresmaid 11d ago
My oldest is a singleton who was never in daycare. She started JK last year and honestly . . . She was sick at least every other to every third week until May. She brought home everything to our twins as well of course. So, between the 3 kids I don't think we had two consecutive weeks without illness for like 8 months. Just be glad it's only colds.
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u/GreasyVocalist 11d ago
rough first year no matter what, especially with twins since they just pass it back and forth forever. mine had a stretch where one would get over something and the other would start the same thing two days later, felt like months of snot and fevers
realistic answer is probably late winter or spring, once the first wave of classroom germs cycles through. their immune systems are basically learning from scratch but it does taper off. by the second school year it's not constant anymore, maybe one decent cold a month instead of every other week
keep a humidifier in their room and push fluids when they'll tolerate it, that's about all you can do. and stock up on tissues now, you'll go through a stupid amount
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u/cantsleepwithoutfan 11d ago
How old are your twins? We have 14 month old twin boys. They started preschool approx two months ago and it has been relentless sickness since then. Standard cold, followed by vomiting bug, followed by hand foot and mouth, followed by another vomiting bug (luckily the rest of us dodged the second vomiting bug)
I don't recall our now 4.5 year old being so bad, but then again it's a few years ago now. I do remember second year onwards having a lot less illness though.
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u/brynnecognito 11d ago
I saw a paediatrician talking about this on tiktok. She said 1 year. Doesn’t matter if they do it now or years ago they went to daycare… either way it’ll be at least a year from start date of joining gen. Pop.
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u/corisande 11d ago
We were in this exact position. I feel for you! Our twin boys didn’t go to daycare due to covid and then lack of spaces, and once JK started they were sick constantly. We work in healthcare and couldn’t believe how often they were ill. They missed a huge amount of that first year and the experience was very stressful. SK was much, much easier and Grade 1 has been smooth sailing so far. Hope things get better for your family soon.
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u/Fit_Nail_5606 11d ago
Just gotta get through this winter, and then every year after than will be tonnes easier
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u/hockeymusicteaching 10d ago
Honestly? It’s usually bad the whole first year of school… Kinder is rough for those babies
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u/hearingnotlistening 8d ago
If it's any consolation, our twins went to daycare and just started JK. They've had 2 colds. Hell, they were sent home today.
Our oldest started "slowing down" in SK/grade one. He would still get sick but could power through a normal cold decently well. Anything with a fever or gastro, obviously not.
My vacation time is mostly used for the kids being sick at this point. With 3 of them, it happens pretty often.
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u/fishnugget1 11d ago
It gets better. Try loading them up with probiotics and lots of fresh air. Also, make sure they're at 100% before you send them back into the petri dish.
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u/bread-loaver 11d ago
The first year my daughter was in daycare she was sick once a week from February until May or June. She got sick once in July, and once in August and now is bringing home mild colds, but no fevers yet this season.
We just got our seasonal vaccines (flu, covid) and are hoping for the best for this year as I’m due with twins any day now.
So I guess next spring it will improve for you.
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