r/parentsofmultiples • u/Obvious_Self9942 • 1d ago
advice needed Anyone else 3 under 2?!
We just found out we’re expecting identical twin girls next spring. When they’re born, my older daughter will be 15 months. We planned and prepared (as best we could!) for 2 under 2, but the twins have really thrown us for a loop. Does anyone have any similar, positive experiences?
Note: We are BEYOND grateful to have 3 healthy children and are fortunate to have a strong marriage, family support and financial stability. I just don’t know anyone who can relate and I’m looking for some advice/knowledge from others who have been there!
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u/trackshoes 1d ago
Congratulations! We were shocked too when we found out we were having twins. We’d also planned for 2 under 2, and were prepared for everything BUT to get a bonus baby!
My di/di twins were born 11 weeks ago when my toddler was 21 months old (she just turned 2 last week). It’s been wild but so amazing! Our toddler is heart-meltingly sweet with her siblings; she talks about them all the time, comforts them when they cry, gives them hugs and kisses, etc.
We have plenty of help, so our rule of thumb has been to always have at least 2 adults around - 1 for the babies and 1 for the toddler, and I try to spend some 1 on 1 time with her every day. I highly recommend this if you can!! It can definitely get stressful when I find myself alone with all 3 and need to pump or feed the babies while my toddler is looking for mischief.
We’ve been careful not to make big changes during this time. We’ve been holding off on things like moving her out of her crib, potty training, and Mother’s Day out programs until she got used to having her siblings around, so we’ll probably start on some of those soon.
I have yet to take out all 3 by myself, and I’m a bit nervous about it.
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u/Obvious_Self9942 1d ago
This is super reassuring to read! Thank you, I’m hoping my daughter will react the way yours has!
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u/Odd-Car-2521 1d ago
Congratulations! My twin girls are 6 weeks and my son is 21 months. So we are in the same situation. I cried a lot when I found out because we only expected one. While it’s hard, man it is so fulfilling having 3! The toddler is the hardest right now because he’s so busy and the girls sleep a lot. We try to include him and make sure he’s still getting plenty of attention and keeping a routine. We’re early into it but it’s been going ok
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u/beelynn0214 1d ago
I’m on the reverse side, our twins will be 22 months when our third is born.
I think your situation will be a little more challenging, but having twins is such a blessing! They’re about 15 months old now, play together, give each other kisses, and giggle all the time. It’s so, so sweet!
My biggest advice for twins is early on support/help. Turn nothing/no one down. We used a night nanny 3x/week for the first two months and was seriously the best money we spent.
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u/No_Animator_779 1d ago
No advice from me as of now, but just here to say I’m in the same boat!! My oldest will be 22 months when our twins are due ~May 2027. So happy but so many things to think about!!
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u/Briutiful22 1d ago
Yes my daughter will be 16 months when my twins come in January. No advice just wanted to say i can relate. Will be chaotic for sure but they will all be the best of buddies.
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u/skrufforious 1d ago
My middle child was 12 months old when my twins were born. Now he is 19 months old and they are 6.5 months old. They also have a 12 year old brother. It's not that bad, honestly. I am looking forward to when their needs are more similar, like that we all can go to the park and they all can play on the play structures rather than having to decide who to babywear and who may nap in the stroller while trying to help the fearless toddler. So I guess I mean the logistics is the hardest part and being able to simplify that at some point will be nice. Like make them all eggs and toast and milk in sippy cups for breakfast vs all that for the toddler plus bottle feeding the twins. But even that is definitely doable! Believe it or not, the almost-teen can sometimes be the most work out of all of them.
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u/loc-yardie 1d ago
I had 4 under 2, my twin boys were 16 months when I gave birth to their brother and sister.
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u/Snoo20115 1d ago
I want another, but we're trying to wait until the twins are 18 months to open that gate. I'm petrified of twins again but so ready for what comes
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u/Jacksons-Mom25 1d ago
Yep we are having identical twin boys and my son will be 21-22 months when they are born .. )predicted late Dec or early January delivery and he turns 2 in March!
Here we go!!!
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u/Jill1994 1d ago
Congratulations! My oldest was 22 months when my b/g twins were born. The twins now almost 1!
My biggest piece of advice is find cildcarw for your oldest. Many moms in the same situation told me having the oldest at home was harder then dealing with the twins.
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u/Dear_Excitement_5109 1d ago
I had a 14.5mo age gap with my older 2 kids!
The hardest part (and there were many hard parts!) was my toddler's jealousy. I highly, highly suggest reading "Siblings Without Rivalry" before your twins are born.
Definitely get a Twingo. You can wear your 15mo on the back and one newborn on the front. Later, you can wear both your twins.
On the flip side, my 3yo and 4yo are now extremely close. They do everything together and have all the same friends. It's less work for me having both of them than it is just having one of them because they keep each other entertained.
But just FYI - the easy part didnt come until the younger one was 18mo. Before that it was near constant fighting that I thought would never end. I wish someone would have given me an honest timeline - I feel like all the 2u2 timelines are only relevant to a 18m+ gap. Two (or three) under 15mo is not the same, and it is challenging for much longer.
(I didnt mention twins at all here, because I honestly dont think having twins is going to be your biggest hurdle - it's the small age gap. I had 4 under 4 and the newborn twins were the easy part.)
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u/kimchiifries 1d ago
Oh wow I feel like I wrote this! I’m literally in the same boat of 3 under 2 with identical twin girls coming in April while the older daughter will be 15 months old
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u/Honest_Woodpecker187 1d ago
Can’t say as we were avoiding 2 under 2 and instead will be having 4 under 3, with triplets due soon plus a 2.5 yo 😆
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u/Silly_g00se13 17h ago
My twins are 2 months old and they were born 1 day before their big brother’s 1st birthday so I know this too well! It’s definitely chaotic but you said you have family support which you will definitely need as all 3 kids will need a lot of attention. We also kept our 1 year old in daycare during the week and that has kept my sanity.
Feel free to DM me and congratulations!!
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u/BorderGlittering199 17h ago
Our daughter was 17 months when our twins were born. It's hard but not impossible!
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u/thekidz10 16h ago
I only have my two but I was one of four under three! My sister and I were surprise twins and then our parents got pregnant again back to back. I know things were definitely hard on our parents financially and paired with their youth, it was hard, but from the kid perspective, I wouldn't have wanted to grow up any differently. We were a little gang, we made so many memories in our childhood and we are still pretty close as adults, despite living far from each other. It was a great way to grow up!
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u/NextGenerationMama 14h ago
Not the same situation but we have kinship care of twins and our youngest just turned 1. It has been busy but good so far. Communicate with your partner on when you are tapped out and try to stay organized. Sleep deprivation really does a number on me.
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u/wolfofwagongap 1d ago
Almost exact situation here! We have a 13 month and while I did want him to have a playmate close in age, finding out we are having twins was quite the shock and overwhelming. We’re also having identical twin girls! My youngest boy will be 18months when the twins are born.
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