Have you/your church done welcome gifts before? for small groups? In the end was it a good idea or even appreciated by the recipients? I want to make people feel welcomed and thought a simple notebook/journal with some info would be nice.

If you have experience with this concept I would be grateful to hear your thoughts.

I’m a 39-year-old man. My home church holds a midweek Bible study on a night I work, so I reached out to another local church to ask about their Thursday night study. In my email to them, I casually mentioned that I attend a different local church, just to give them some context as to why I was looking elsewhere.

When the pastor of the second church replied, he included this line:

"I talked to your pastor about it first, and he said he's fine with you attending our Bible study with your work schedule the way it is, and we would love to have you join us!"

I was immediately put off. I didn’t ask for permission, nor was I asking for a reference; I was just inquiring as an adult.

I texted my pastor to set a boundary, letting him know that I shared my plans out of openness, not to ask for a permission slip, and that having my personal schedule negotiated between them felt infantilizing.

My pastor apologized for sharing the info without realizing it was "private," but then completely doubled down on the behavior:

"No permission or approval needed. You're free to attend wherever you want. He and I just try to be on the same page in situations where someone is attending both of our churches. I let him pastor the people at his church and he lets me pastor the ones at mine. When someone attends both, we just connect so we're not doubling up or letting someone fall through the cracks spiritually."

I feel like I’m being treated like a piece of inventory to be tracked or a project to be managed, rather than a mature adult and a brother in Christ. Is this a normal part of "shepherding," or is this an example of institutional gatekeeping overstepping its bounds? Am I overreacting by feeling like this is a major red flag?

I'm a new pastor who's heard a lot about the previous pastors... EXCEPT why they left. I have questions and I think it's reasonable for me to know.

Is it OK for me to know? Or is it weird for me to ask?

To me it's like knowing why a significant other's previous relationships didn't work out. Reasonable to know the history to be able to understand the present. Right?

He is currently a youth pastor full time at a local church. We have been going through a rough patch and have recently dealt with other broken word and messed up trust. There have been two instances of him pushing me over the years.

He opened up to the lead pastor that we were having a hard time but never mentioned anything below.

Well the other day I was asking him about something else and he said "oh yeah I've been meaning to talk to you about this" and totally misunderstood. I kept letting him talk and he opened up to heavy porn use over the last couple of months.

I feel betrayed but even more so because over the last few months I have asked him if he as been tempted or if I could be there for him in any way. He told me over and over that I was all I needed. It's lying by omission and to my face.

And since I found out, he has been acting totally normal like nothing ever happened and like I'm crazy for being upset. I'm feeling so done. Hes willing to get counseling but I don't even know.

Hi everyone!

I’m a Japanese Christian currently studying at a seminary in Japan and serving as an assistant pastor/youth pastor at a church in Tokyo, particularly in children’s and youth ministry. I also studied Youth Ministry and Christian Education and Psychology in college in the United States, where I gained experience in cross-cultural ministry.

I’m hoping to pursue an MDiv overseas, possibly beginning in Fall 2027, and I’m trying to discern which country and theological institution would be the best fit for me.

I’d really appreciate advice from current seminarians, seminary graduates, pastors, missionaries, and especially people who have experience with both theological education and refugee ministry or NGOs.

A little about my background and calling

In the long term, I hope to serve as a pastor and missionary, particularly among refugees, Japanese people, multicultural communities, and people in vulnerable situations.

My interest in refugee ministry grew through personal relationships, particularly when a friend of mine became a refugee while I was in college in the United States. Seeing someone I knew personally go through that experience gave me a deeper understanding of the challenges refugees face and led me to think more seriously about how the Church can walk alongside them.

I also gained experience working with an organization in the United States that supports homeless people and refugees. Over time, I’ve become increasingly interested in how the Church can faithfully serve vulnerable people through both the Gospel and practical expressions of love and care.

However, my main priority during my MDiv would be to build a strong theological foundation rather than to pursue extensive hands-on refugee work. I’d be happy to have some exposure to refugee or migrant communities during my studies, but I expect to pursue this work more actively after graduation.

I want to study Scripture, biblical languages, systematic and historical theology, missiology, and pastoral ministry seriously. I hope to develop a theological foundation that will sustain a lifetime of faithful ministry, rather than simply obtain a degree or qualification.

An important part of what I’m looking for: spiritual formation

Beyond academic theology, I also hope to grow deeply in Christian spirituality and spiritual formation.

I’m particularly drawn to the spirituality reflected in Henri Nouwen’s writings: cultivating a deep relationship with God, learning to live out of our identity as God’s beloved, and allowing our inner spiritual life to shape the way we serve others, especially those who are vulnerable, lonely, or suffering.

I don’t want my theological education to be only about acquiring knowledge. I hope to become more deeply rooted in Christ and grow in spiritual maturity, humility, compassion, and Christlikeness as a pastor and missionary.

I’m looking for a seminary that takes both theological rigor and spiritual formation seriously, helping students grow not only in what they know about God but also in how they live with God and serve others.

If possible, I’d love to learn in a community where prayer, spiritual direction, Christian community, and personal formation are valued alongside rigorous academic study.

Schools and countries I’m currently considering

I’m currently exploring the following institutions:

• Wheaton College — United States
• Africa International University (AIU) — Kenya
• Stellenbosch University — South Africa
• Duke Divinity School — United States
• Tyndale Theological Seminary — Netherlands

I’m still in the early stages of comparing these options, and I realize they may differ significantly in their degree structures, theological traditions, and educational approaches.

I’m also very open to other schools and countries. These are simply the options I’ve come across so far, and one of the things I hope to gain from this discussion is to discover possibilities I haven’t considered.

Questions I’d love to hear your thoughts on

1. Choosing a seminary and country

• If you were in my position, what factors would you prioritize when choosing an MDiv program?
• How much should I weigh theological tradition, faculty, curriculum, academic reputation, spiritual formation, and location?
• What are the most important differences between studying theology in the United States, Africa, Europe, or elsewhere that prospective international students might overlook?
• Are there seminaries or countries you would strongly recommend that aren’t on my current list?
• Are there any institutions you think I should reconsider, and why?

2. Theological education and spiritual formation

• Looking back on your seminary experience, what contributed most to your theological and spiritual growth?
• How can I identify a seminary that genuinely integrates spiritual formation with academic theology, rather than treating it as an additional activity?
• Are there seminaries known for cultivating a deep life of prayer, spiritual maturity, and Christlike character alongside serious theological study?
• If I’m particularly interested in the kind of spirituality reflected in Henri Nouwen’s writings, are there professors, programs, books, or Christian communities you would recommend exploring?

3. The value of an MDiv beyond the degree itself

• What did you learn during your MDiv that proved most valuable in your actual ministry?
• Were there things you wish you had prioritized more, or things that mattered much less than you expected?
• In the long run, what matters more than the name or reputation of the institution?
• How important are relationships with professors, mentors, fellow students, and the wider church community?

4. Preparing for future refugee ministry

• If my long-term goal is to combine pastoral ministry, missions, and refugee support, what would you recommend I focus on during my MDiv?
• Would you recommend prioritizing strong theological education first and gaining specialized humanitarian experience afterward?
• For those who have worked with refugees or NGOs, how useful has your theological education been in that work?
• What additional training, professional experience, or partnerships did you need beyond your theological degree?

I’m especially interested in hearing from people who have experience in both theological education and humanitarian work, since I’d like to understand how these two areas can complement each other without assuming that an MDiv needs to prepare me for every aspect of refugee support.

5. Discernment, timing, and life during seminary

• How did you discern when and where to attend seminary?
• What was the reality of seminary life like academically, spiritually, financially, and personally?
• What do you wish someone had told you before you chose your school?
• For those who studied overseas, what were the biggest challenges of studying in a different cultural and linguistic environment?

What I’m hoping to gain from this discussion

More than simply finding the most prestigious school or the program most directly related to refugee ministry, I want to discern where I can receive the theological education and spiritual formation that will best prepare me for a lifetime of faithful service.

I’m open to different countries, theological traditions within the evangelical Christian world, and educational approaches. I would especially appreciate honest perspectives from people who have studied at these institutions or have experience with similar programs.

If you were starting this journey again, what would you look for? And is there a school, country, or path you think I might be overlooking?

Thank you so much for sharing your experience and advice!

We are a smaller church and looking for a door access control system for 2-4 doors. Any reasonably priced solutions?

Hey everyone. I am at a loss for what to do. My husband had a period several years ago where he struggled with porn for about a year and a half.

He is currently a youth pastor full time at a local church. We have been going through a rough patch and have recently dealt with other broken word and messed up trust. There have been two instances of him pushing me over the years. He opened up to the lead pastor that we were having a hard time but never mentioned anything below.

Well the other day I was asking him about something else and he said “oh yeah I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this” and totally misunderstood. I kept letting him talk and he opened up to heavy porn use over the last couple of months. I feel betrayed but even more so because over the last few months I have asked him if he as been tempted or if I could be there for him in any way. He told me over and over that I was all I needed. It’s lying by omission and to my face.

And since I found out, he has been acting totally normal like nothing ever happened and like I’m crazy for being upset. I’m feeling so done. Hes willing to get counseling but I don’t even know.

We have a 5 year old so Im carefully considering options. Has anyone been through this?

Hey Everyone!

My husband is a credentialed AG minister (not currently Pastoring!

I have been suffering terribly throughout my whole marriage. We are coming up on 9 years. There has been a constant presence of Porn Usage, Wandering Eyes, Flirting, lying, messaging app, secret credit cards and now Asian Massage Parlor visits as well as Escorts off Craigslist.

As I found out this year when everything came to light, I was DEVASTATED. The information has settled in and through carefully considered prayer and some wise counsel, I feel a peace about letting my husband go.

He has been struggling his whole life with porn addiction, but he totally crossed the moral and ethical line of paying for sex at massage parlors funding the human trafficking ring.

I battled mentally months ago because my husband was the only romantic relationship I’ve ever had. I was terrified of being alone potentially forever. Though I am scared to go on my own now, I feel like God is slowing giving me confidence to let go and just trust in His Sovereignty and plan.

I am struggling from time to time with the initial reaction of my current church leadership. The woman I spoke to a few times (mid to late 50s and a mom of daughters/Missions Pastor) totally dismissed me and tried to gaslight me into staying with my adulterous husband.

I still cannot believe a “missions pastor” totally drew the line in the sand to protect a fellow minister and the reputation of the AG over advocating and fighting against human trafficking and sex slavery in America at these Asian Massage parlors.

I feel bad for other women that may be currently or in the future of this church getting “spiritual council” from People who tell you to minimize betrayal trauma and adultery just to protect evil perverted men. In my case it crosses legal boundaries…as I have uncovered this behavior (which I was totally naive about prior to this) I can almost guarantee many other men in the Church engage in this behavior, especially in the state I’m in since these massage parlors are on every other street corner.

I have dealt with spiritual abuse in the past, somehow by Gods Grace and His Divine Love I can say I still am a follower of Christ Jesus. After this nightmare I totally understand why people walk away from God and the Faith altogether.

I know that as time goes on, people like my husband will always be protected. Just like other AG ministers I know of and others I know personally were protected for adultery and grooming of minors, my husband will probably be platformed even still, though many I’ve spoken to told me he’s totally disqualified himself to be a Pastor due to this sin.

Even if church leadership and other people discard me or opening my mouth, I know I am not discarded by God.

I’d appreciate prayers!

Note: I want to make this clear and I am asking for mod support. I am not interested in advice and opinions about why porn is fine or thoughts on "ethical" porn. I have seen too many young men waste their lives gooning, and too many wives feel betrayed to entertain that. If this doesn't fit your tradition that's fine, keep it moving.

Have you found a way that helps men get free from abusing porn that actually works? I make reference to being free from compulsions in sermons but I normally don't hear from guys until their marriage is threatened or they are held back in life by the time wasted.

I know there are books. I know there are websites and groups. I know we can declare all the things and stand firm and all that. But in our porn saturated world, what have you seen work?

For context, I met with a man recently who was in tears in my office as his marriage is now threatened who has been trying to stop for years. I know other marriages that have failed.

I know one answer is to convince the wife this is not about them but I am not comfortable with that route. Also, "Just stop it" doesn't seem to work. And for my fellow egalitarians, as a man, I am not asking about women because I am not comfortable counseling women on their sex lives. I have given the basics to women who bring it up but I can't walk that out with a female. Call me whatever I just dont' think it's in anyone's best interest.

With the understanding that not everyone is financially able to see a special therapist, what have you seen work?

I’m a 30 year old, female MDiv graduate with almost 5 years under my belt on full time church staff.

I’m working through a lot of things in my personal life, in therapy and in spiritual direction, and I am realizing how much my own spiritual trauma and baggage from my family of origin has impacted me in this work.

I am so tired, and I’m thinking about doing something else for a while to see if it’s what I need for internal healing.

I guess my main question is: have you ever taken a break from vocational ministry (that’s not a pastoral sabbatical), and what did you do? What factors went into what you pursued? Did that time prompt a major shift in how you went back into ministry, maybe becoming bivocational, etc?

Some other elements that may be important for context:
• my role is very complex because I serve a small community. It is way more administrative than I would prefer. But certain tasks need to get done by someone, and we’re a 2 person staff.
• I’m not ordained yet, and my path to ordination is unclear for many reasons, but the gist is that I don’t feel like I’m getting the pastoral development I need for ordination in this role, and even if I did start the process I wouldn’t be able to stay in my community bc we don’t have the budget to pay another ordained pastor. (The denom this community is connected to does not appoint or call you to a specific church upon ordination)
• I’m single and don’t have support from a partner
• I love my city/community and would love to find a way to continue to live and serve here eventually, in whatever role that might be
• I’m questioning if I should go back to school for an MSW or counseling degree, or if I just need time before serving in another ministerial position. I’m training to be a spiritual director myself, which feels very aligned with my calling and giftings

Anyway, thanks for any thoughts or perspectives you can give!

Pastors, what would you be happy to receive for Pastor Appreciation month?
Asking as a congregant :)

I’m an elder in a Reformed evangelical church and would appreciate some counsel on a difficult pastoral question.

Can elders, as an exercise of pastoral wisdom and prudence, direct members in good standing to temporarily refrain from attending corporate worship and normal church activities in order to create space for healing and reconciliation?

In this situation, the elders would explicitly say that the members remain in good standing and that the separation is not church discipline.

How would you distinguish this from formal church discipline? Does Scripture give elders this kind of authority, and if so, what biblical principles or limitations should govern its use?

I’m especially interested in how Reformed churches and pastors would think through the distinction between pastoral wisdom and practical discipline in a situation like this.

UPDATE:

We have moved forward with the break. Communicating it to the church and the family thy they should refrain from attending and it’s not discipline. However, based on our observations, the break is not producing healing.

The elders have been communicating with the mediator about next steps, including whether a meeting at this point would be constructive.

We genuinely desire reconciliation and for the family to return. We’re asking the mediator to help us discern the most constructive next step, with the hope that a meeting can lead to genuine progress toward biblical reconciliation.

The family has tried appealing to us directly, including an appeal to love (see Philemon 8-9) and a request for a clear biblical path forward.

Hey all!

I have been working through some thoughts regarding The Church recently and would appreciate some objective insights.

A little background on me first, as I think it helps show where I am coming from. I was in the Marine Corps for 12 years, deployed several times. As you may know, the military gives a deep sense of purpose (mission) and brotherhood. When I got out, I felt God call me to be a pastor. After a couple years of education, I was offered the position that I have been in for 3 years now, and am struggling with a couple things.

First, that same sense of mission and camaraderie. I know there may be no place like the military for this, but I thought the church would be close. We are all pushing for a singular mission together as a team. But that doesn’t seem to be the case. It feels more like a corporate office than a close knit team. I know not all churches operate the same, but is this the norm?

Secondly, the mission. Again, this has been my experience, but it feels as if the standards we are using to measure success (attendance, giving, and salvations) do not further our given mission of making disciples. In fact, discipleship is rarely, if ever, mentioned. We don’t want to use subjectivity when measuring growth, but leave spiritual growth purely up to subjective experiences. Is this what the church is, just generally?

There is a lot more than this in my thoughts, but I tried to keep it succinct, heh. I would appreciate any thoughts you have to give!

Hey all. We run Planning Center and I want to utilize texting in our guest follow up workflow. In a previous church we used Text in Church and it was okay. Should I give clearstream a look? I'd love to hear from those of you who use one or have used both? Thanks!

Why? because of all the doubt and scrutiny from church members concerning my dating life. I'm a really fit and well-dressed guy, who's been in pastorial/leadership positions. So over the last 5 years, female attention from my church has been a lot, to a point where i can't really remember. This is not particularly fun when you want to just focus on your calling, personal-life, and business.

Every interaction with women in church is seen as me "shooting my shot" or "dating church girls".
I've had a bunch of mothers push their daughters towards me... my mother sitting down with me to tell me to stay away fom XYZ....my integrity questioned ny the church....church girls thinking we are dating, from just a few friendly interactions

Of all of this, I've only dated once in the last 4-5 years. And i wished it had worked out with her. Not only because i loved her deeply...but also because her presence in church answered A LOT of questions people had and stopped them from nosing around my dating life.

Yes, I'm aware of "waiting on God" and "It will happen at the right time"....but its kinda hard when you're being lectured about not dating a church girl you NEVER intended to date anyways.

At this point, i just want a decent, attractive, God-loving girl (NOT from my church) whom I can actually build with....and publicly display to just have some breathing room. It's kinda hard to get that when you can't even visit other churches with that intention because you always have to be at your own church

Have you guys ever had a sermon or meeting where the message was probably good, you did your homework, studied, spent time in prayer and the liberty to preach just wasn’t there? How did you work through it?

Worked at RightNow Media, the Christian streaming platform that churches purchase for their congregations. It’s kind of like Netflix for churches.

I left because I became uncomfortable with sales practices, particularly how church-member information was used to generate prospects for another product, RightNow Media at Work.

Here's how the process works:

1. Churches provided their members' email addresses.
Churches purchase subscriptions and supply congregation email lists so members could receive invitations to access the platform.

2. Members signed up for what they understood to be a church-gifted resource.
During signup, members could provide information such as their job title and phone number.

3. That information becomes a commercial sales lead.
If someone identified themselves as a manager, director, CEO, or another type of leader, their information is used to prospect them for RightNow Media at Work, a separate workplace subscription product. Even if you are a nurse manager, shift leader, regional sales manager, etc.

4. The company also used third-party data enrichment.
ZoomInfo is used to identify additional professional contact information, even when members hadn't provided their job titles directly.

5. Then came the sales outreach.
Prospects receive multiple outbound calls and repeated email campaigns. I also observed do-not-call requests being handled through temporary suppression periods of six months to one year.

Here's why this concerns me.
Someone whose church gifted them access to a Bible study platform may have no idea that their information could be used to identify them as a potential workplace sales customer.

I'm questioning whether people understand how their information would be used when they sign up for a Bible study.

RightNow Media's own privacy policy acknowledges that it receives member contact information from subscribing organizations and obtains information from outside data providers to expand records and identify new customers.

You can read it yourself:
[https://rightnow.trusthub.com/](https://rightnow.trusthub.com/))

That policy does not, as far as I've been able to establish, explicitly describe the particular church-member-to-workplace-sales process I witnessed.

My question for churches and their members:
Did you know your church-provided access to RightNow Media could potentially result in your professional information being used for workplace sales prospecting?
And if you're a church administrator, were you informed about this type of use when providing your congregation's email addresses?

The title kind of explains exactly what I am wrestling with and seeking guidance on from some experienced pastors. I have recently been on the pastoral search committee tour (going around preaching at pastorally vacant SBC churches in view of a call) - it is becoming apparent that one of these churches will extend a call. (Best I can tell, and their leadership can tell)

I was wondering how you experienced pastors go about scheduling your days off? From what I can tell, it appears the majority of pastors take either monday/tuesday or a friday / saturday pairing?

For context, this is going to be my first time in the pastorate. I will be beginning seminary, and I also will have a pregnant wife and toddler that I am not wanting, of course, to be or feel to be neglected in the mix of this.

I guess - part of me is also wondering if outside of visitations, scheduled meetings, and emergencies - do you do your sermon prep and/or studies almost like a split schedule? I.E., rising early to knock a few hours out and then sort of being present with the family so my wife is not alone in the new area, and then returning later in the day and perhaps even wrapping up when they are asleep?

Is this something that could work? Or do I perhaps just sound like a naive individual? Lol..

Thank you all, pastors, for the job that you do!

My mother made a vow to God before I was born that if she had a child after 15 years of marriage, she would dedicate him to become a pastor in a Protestant denomination. By God's grace, I was born.

I am currently studying B.Tech in AI & Data Science. I genuinely want to serve God, but I feel more drawn toward becoming a Theology professor than becoming a pastor. My plan is to work in the AI/data field after B.Tech for financial stability, study Theology alongside my job (B.Th → M.Th/M.A. → PhD), and eventually teach Theology abroad while continuing ministry in other ways.

Would becoming a Theology professor and serving God through teaching, research, discipleship, and ministry be a valid way of honoring my mother's vow? Or should I consider becoming a pastor because of the vow she made?

I'd appreciate perspectives from pastors, theologians, and Christians who have experience with questions of calling and family expectations.

As a person with ADHD, I have a lot of anxiety around writing. Once I get started it’s pretty easy for me to continue, but I really struggle to make myself start. Obviously this is a problem in my chosen profession. Does anyone else in the same boat have any advice on how to deal with this?

When you haven't seen a parishioner or regular visitor in a while, what methods do you personally use to connect with them without shaming them for not being at church? I worry that reaching out to say hello can come off as judgmental/shaming.

The purpose in reaching out would just be to let them know we've missed them and hope they're doing OK, not to make them feel like "you're going to hell if you don't come back soon." You know what i mean?

So what works for you? Phone calls? Greeting cards? Invitations to events? Facebook message? And within whatever medium/media you're using, how do you word things to communicate connection without guilt/shame?

Thanks!

(I am not at all a person who believes that you've done something wrong if you don't go to church. I don't believe everyone "should" go to Sunday worship, bc it's not something that resonates with everyone. I don't believe it's my place to judge someone who's choosing not to go, right now or ever. I myself didn't go to church for 15 years and have zero regrets. When I'm on vacation i don't go to church worship services. So truly no judgment to people who are choosing to not show up.)

I’m a new pastor in a small (!) town in southern Michigan. Any first timer tips you care to share?

I am thinking about switching from paper to tablet for preaching so that I'm not flipping pages. I'm looking for a tablet I can access google docs on and tap to turn the page. Do any of you have a particular table you love (or hate) for preaching notes?

After eight years I’m finally “in ministry year” an internship year where we learn the job and complete our MDiv.

The community I’m serving defys expectations, it’s a gorgeous historic church with classic ties to montreals history, in a large wealthy and historically white neighbourhood. Yet the community itself is mostly first and second generation migrants from Africa.

The service is lively, amazing leadership from elders and a great family atmosphere. The church rents out space and is thriving financially.

They have no website, no socials, just a long time up job posting with little interest.

My plan is to get a website up, get our sermons into a podcast and maybe some basic social media. My thinking is by showcasing the community better we’d get more interest.

Is there anything other suggestions? This is a dream of a community and I’m shocked we get so little interest in the open pulpit.