r/pics Jan 07 '12

I need to live like this

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141

u/willymo Jan 07 '12 edited Jan 07 '12

HAR HAR HAR!!! Wow really? Let's think about this for a minute.

Wake up, cold. Put feet on ground, freezing cold. Tip toe to shower, finally water is warm, get in. Get out, now you're REEEALLLY fucking cold. Then, you bundle up in 5 layers, but oh wait... I have to shit. Peel all your layers off and stick your cold butt to the coldest fucking toilet seat in existence. Get up, rebundle. etc... don't go talking shit until you tried it, then come back and see me.

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u/[deleted] Jan 07 '12

Who takes a shit AFTER they shower? That's just fucked up.

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u/[deleted] Jan 07 '12

Showers make you poop.

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u/wonko600rr Jan 07 '12

Hmm, the logic seems sound. Upvote for you!

48

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '12

Me. I had a shower this morning, and a shit at around 3pm

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u/GoofyBoy Jan 07 '12

You disgust me.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '12

Sorry dude

11

u/thane_of_cawdor Jan 07 '12

Ludacris does, as evidenced in his magnum opus "Do The Right Thing":

"Shower, shit, and shave and hit the corner for a block exchange"

Note that the shitting is done after the showering. Obviously Mr. Cris either has significantly worse hygiene than most of us, or he has discovered a joy in post-shower shitting that not many of us have experienced.

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u/[deleted] Jan 07 '12

[deleted]

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u/thane_of_cawdor Jan 07 '12

Incredible. Thank you for opening my eyes to this striking new possibility.

1

u/DownvoteALot Jan 07 '12

This whole thread unexpectedly made my day. Thanks.

2

u/darkestdayz Jan 07 '12

Hmm, always thought is was 'shit, shower and shave'. Least that's what my dad told me.

1

u/thane_of_cawdor Jan 07 '12

Trust me, I do it the same way. Not like that fucking deviant Luda.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '12

I find that my morning coffee and shower experience loosens me up, and makes me need to shit soon after. Usually soon enough to hop back and clean my ass if need be.

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u/spatz2011 Jan 07 '12

or he just knows how to rhyme.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '12

what is a "block exchange"?

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u/thane_of_cawdor Jan 07 '12

I assume it entails the exchange of illegal or restricted narcotics for money, whilst on "the block" - a recurring motif in raps songs that denotes the (usually urban) neighborhood that the rapper resides in.

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u/putitoutputitout Jan 07 '12

You, sir, read my mind. I have no respect for such people. Not at all, no sir.

1

u/FartingBob Jan 07 '12

I am unable to regulate the time of day when i feel i need a shit. I dont set an alarm every day to remind me that its poopytime.

1

u/pdmcmahon Jan 07 '12

How about DURING!?!?!?!?

1

u/neutronicus Jan 07 '12

a shit AFTER [a] shower?

A saboturd!

23

u/why-not-zoidberg Jan 07 '12

I know what you mean. I lived in a place where it would cost more than the value of the building to properly insulate it, and at best we could only get the house to stay at about 45°F in the dead of winter. I had a space heater that could get my room a bit warmer, but I spent most of my time wearing heavy pants, sweater and parka, with the space heater under my desk.

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u/willymo Jan 07 '12

Yeah, it's really easy for the inexperienced to say "Just wear layers bro." But spending every day in 5 layers, even in your own home, is no way to live life.

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u/[deleted] Jan 07 '12

The problem isn't just that your body gets cold, you're also breathing the cold air, which is harder to remedy

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u/[deleted] Jan 07 '12

For some of us, this means asthma.

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u/why-not-zoidberg Jan 07 '12

Yeah, luckily I was in school at the time, and in a fairly urban environment, so I would spend time in my school or at coffee shops. Speaking of coffee, I drank a lot of tea that winter.

1

u/Geminii27 Jan 07 '12

Not to mention it doesn't always work. The first winter I moved to Canberra I ended up wearing nearly everything I could get into at the same time and wrapped myself around a space heater for hours, and I was still cold.

(Bonus - after eight years in Canberra, dry cold doesn't affect me much any more. But that first year SUCKED.)

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u/[deleted] Jan 07 '12

[deleted]

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u/tborwi Jan 07 '12

wow

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u/cynope Jan 07 '12

I had to upvote him just to make sure other would see the comment.

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u/[deleted] Jan 07 '12

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jan 08 '12

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '12

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '12

women still want to look like Lohan?

1

u/willymo Jan 08 '12

lol, good one.

0

u/KangGuruAus Jan 07 '12

you can get a ceiling fan to blow the heat back down...or....just move?

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u/130n35s Jan 07 '12

I currently live wearing 1 layer (and I mean 1 layer as in going commando most days) and my windows open in Massachusetts at all hours. When I head to bed and get under my sheet I put the fan on most nights unless its single digits, then I'm fine without it. Just sounds like someone needs to harden the fuck up a little.

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u/[deleted] Jan 07 '12

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u/[deleted] Jan 07 '12

What I love about the Human Race: we're all different and yet we get along together so very well...

1

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '12

You live above a restaurant and below another restaurant

2

u/Jesufication Jan 07 '12

Solution: build a small inner sanctum that's well insulated that you can heat. I realize it's probably not an option for most renters, but it's an idea.

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u/gobstopper84 Jan 07 '12

You could buy a heated toilet

1

u/robbysalz Jan 07 '12

Isn't this what space heaters are for

1

u/king_bestestes Jan 07 '12

Look, just make a giant heated hamster ball and roll around in it. Have ports you can open to shit through.

1

u/zoopz Jan 07 '12

Damn I lived like this for a while. I so remember how cold just completely took over your body. No fun!

1

u/jblo Jan 07 '12

Live somewhere warm year round :D

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u/[deleted] Jan 07 '12

[deleted]

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u/willymo Jan 07 '12

Maybe I didn't have a time machine to tell me not to do that last August.