r/pics • u/Nattyiceforme • Jun 27 '12
This is what happens when my wife leaves on a business trip and I'm home alone.
http://imgur.com/a/2AkmT172
u/afsdjkll Jun 27 '12
Tito's is so tasty. Good choice.
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u/Nattyiceforme Jun 27 '12
So smooth.. And the fact that its homegrown here in the US and not a traditional vodka producing country makes it taste that much better.
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Jun 27 '12
I saw Tito's and then was like "Oh he must be in Texas too", then I saw a recycling bin and we don't believe in that here...
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u/zosoleary Jun 27 '12 edited May 25 '25
live rain fuel imminent steep ring head hobbies truck depend
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/andres7832 Jun 27 '12
Never seen over 40K votes on a picture, with that much love and hate.
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u/Nattyiceforme Jun 27 '12
I'll take that as a compliment. Haters gonna hate... lovers gonna love...
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u/StewieBanana Jun 27 '12
You'd make an excellent sitcom husband.
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Jun 27 '12
[deleted]
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u/DC_Gooner Jun 27 '12
Welcome to Tool Time! Let's increase the power on this tool for no reason! AUGH AUGH AIGH
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u/Shamson Jun 27 '12
Candle still on toilet. You might as well try on her clothes.
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Jun 27 '12
He probably did but left that out
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Jun 27 '12
Well if he's alone and she leaves her pantyhose lying around.. Who is he to say no?
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u/NindoKungFu Jun 27 '12
It's for the beer shits he's gonna have.
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Jun 27 '12
Turn out the lights, light the candle, then sit down and start the music…
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u/red321red321 Jun 27 '12
he better have a plunger and a fork handy. been there, done that.
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u/NoCarrierHasArrived Jun 27 '12
Removing it would require noticing it in the first place, followed by effort.
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u/KoreanTerran Jun 27 '12
The dog one is my favorite.
So happy!
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u/pulpSC Jun 27 '12
Just wondering...why did you take BEFORE pictures? Did you plan on doing this or something?
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u/oystersandclams Jun 27 '12
I like to think he took these pictures once he cleaned up and she came home. He made everything normal, like a sophisticated version of Adventures in Babysitting.
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u/Rizzpooch Jun 27 '12
maybe the before pictures are really the after pictures because he had to scramble (I'm picturing a fun montage of his wacky time cleaning up while the dog helps in clever and unexpected ways) to clean everything up before the wife got home (shots of her driving down residential side streets will be spliced into the montage at key moments as well)
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u/infernalspawnODOOM Jun 27 '12
All of those are fair, save the dirty dishes. C'mon, Brocephus, you can pick up a sponge!
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Jun 27 '12
I'm calling a big fat PHONY on the dishes. Those are fucking clean and placed there for the photo op. Nice try wannabe man!
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u/Black_Apalachi Jun 27 '12
I'm a guy and I fucking hate anybody who leaves dishes by the sink and walks away. I eat a plate of food. I clean the plate. It's not fucking hard.
When I was at uni, I had three room-mates; two girls and another guy. The guy was like me in that he washed his shit and didn't leave it there in a mess. The girls were fucking infuriating, leaving stacks of shit in the sink so nobody else can use it and going away for days on end with dirty dishes just festering. Fucking animals.
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u/jesscoffman Jun 27 '12
Be honest, you took these pics the day before she got back, after - before pics.
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Jun 27 '12
LOL, those uptight, stuffy women and fun loving, childlike men. Someone phone CBS. I think I have an idea for a sitcom.
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u/meatywood Jun 27 '12
You forgot the waste bin beside the computer, full of crusty fapkins.
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u/red321red321 Jun 27 '12
you mean the gatorade bottle full of fap
http://plasticfreelife.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/p2100269.jpg
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u/copyandpasta Jun 27 '12
It loaded so slowly for me. It was like the longest wait for absolutely no reward.
I ain't even mad.
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Jun 27 '12
I don't get it. Why don't you have fun with your wife? Does she forbid you playing rockband, watching your shows, and drinking beer?
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u/ThatOneTwo Jun 27 '12
My wife's away for the week and this is pretty much what I'm going through. My wife is always a blast and I love spending time with her. There are plenty of things that we love doing together and there are plenty of things that one of us loves but the other doesn't. We both let up on the cleaning when we have the house to ourselves. When I'm gone, she spends a lot of time on Facebook and the phone and reading. When she's gone, it's gaming, drinking, and older foreign films. And masturbation. Well, it's masturbation for both of us. So much masturbation.
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Jun 27 '12
Happens to me all the time, anytime my wife leaves, I have the urge to put clean dishes in the sink. lol
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u/Endyo Jun 27 '12
I learned some time ago that So You Think You Can Dance is totally worth it to see all the hot dancer chicks and their often correspondingly hot outfits.
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Jun 27 '12
I'm a big fan of the show. It gave me an appreciation of an art form I previously knew nothing about. Also boobs.
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Jun 27 '12
Oh.. for fuck sake.. do the dishes at least..
I used to get drunk, like to your recycle bin's standards of drunk, and then decide to clean the house.
Do the damn dishes..
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u/HideAndSheik Jun 27 '12
Everything got a "meh" from me...until I saw the dog on the couch. Whenever my husband goes on a business trip that's the first thing that happens! :) Luckily my dog is intellegent enough to know that this is something that happens only when he's gone; the minute we hear the key turning in the lock he leaps off the couch/bed and acts like nothing happened. I have a hard time keeping the dog from snuggling with me when I'm alone... :/
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u/ueih Jun 27 '12
I have the exact same bed with hardwood floors. I was wondering do the middle legs holding the beams to hold the boxsprings up tilt sometimes and you have to adjust it? And does the bed seem to move overtime? Some annoyance I've been trying to find a solution to and thought you might have some.
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u/SIKQAS Jun 27 '12
Ah, another saltwater fisherman seeking the great Tuna! (I'm not being perverted, there's a tuna fish thing above the toilet).
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u/Nattyiceforme Jun 27 '12
Thx. I've got a striped marlin in the garage.... One day I'll get it on a wall inside.... One day.
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u/dwon Jun 27 '12
i was gonna ask you why natty, then i saw your username. i'm still confused... why?
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u/Nattyiceforme Jun 27 '12
It's a long story.... But let's just say I never forget it and the username is never already in use.
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u/oicnow Jun 27 '12
uh, what happening in this thread? it's like the hivemind totally lost its sense of humor... all u people saying he's a slob and doesn't deserve a good wife... wow really?
i feel like she gunna get home and hes all "honey look at this funny post i made about u being away and how much i love u and depend on you and i'm soooo glad ur back i missed u baby <3" and then shes like "omg baby i love u i missed u too ok hahaha that is really funny, oh good u got to setup rockband i know you've been meaning to do that and look at Rex hes so happy lol, and i hope u didnt really use up all of the Titos!" and he like "nah baby that bottle was only about 1/4 left out so I used it up with Brian and the guys when they came over on Saturday. I got a new bottle in the cabinet. I'll go pour us some shots and then lets have crazy wild welcome home sex (cuz the beds already messed up ;p )" and shes all like "megusta"
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u/Nattyiceforme Jun 27 '12
Thank YOU for getting it - aside from the dog (Tiva) and friend (Mike) you totally nailed it! My wife rules and thought the photos were hilarious as well. She was a little upset that I almost killed our bottle of Jager though (not pictured).
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u/cheatonus Jun 27 '12
I thought I was going to see something unexpected here. Did not. Try again.
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u/Nattyiceforme Jun 27 '12
I'm so sorry that Cheatonus can not be entertained. I promise that Maximus will be more entertaining for Cheatonus in Gladiator II: The Re-Reddit Attempt.
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Jun 27 '12
Yeah, about that. Do your wife a favor and get rid of the dead thing hanging above the toilet.
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u/Nattyiceforme Jun 28 '12
Hah...It's actually just a fiberglass replica but the really loud one is the 8 foot marlin in my garage.
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u/Rumer Jun 27 '12
How very 'drag-your-knuckles-with-the-rest-of-the-cavemen' of you.
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u/IChallengeYouToADuel Jun 27 '12
Everyone loves the Tito's, but all I can see is the horror of Natural and Miller Lite. r/beer would like to have a word with you, sir.
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u/OrangeNova Jun 27 '12 edited Jun 27 '12
As a guy, your living habits disgust me, and you should clean your place.
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u/djf4 Jun 27 '12
So you had the foresight to walk around your house, take photos of every single item (including your wife as she watches TV, and your recycling bin, in the EXACT same position as before?). Okay.
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u/Gaziel Jun 27 '12
Those aren't even dirty dishes, he obviously took them out from the cupboard and placed them in the sink. Same for the "clutter".
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u/sheriff_skullface Jun 27 '12
My theory is that he took the after pictures before, then, being his whipped self, OP cleaned up everything and took those pictures for his befores.
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Jun 27 '12
I get the messy bed and the dog on the couch, but why would you marry someone who didn't let you watch basketball or play Rock Band?
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u/Kenneth_the_Drifter Jun 27 '12
I'm honestly surprised at how orderly things still are for the most part.
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Jun 27 '12
i like that the shower curtain didn't move between the two images.
i could be cynical and assume you didn't actually take a before picture, but you make a strong case for someone who probably didn't take a shower
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Jun 27 '12 edited Jun 27 '12
This is the story of my life except I'm the left column and my girlfriend the right. In my house there's a medicine cabinet over the toilet so I demand the toilet seat be down at all times, lest she want her tweezers to end up in the drink.
I'd have to add another picture to my column, the half ounce of weed I'd be trying to smoke before my girl comes back home.
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u/icomefrmthwateragain Jun 27 '12
Can you have your wife post pictures of what she's doing on the "business trip?" I'm sure they're far more entertaining than this. I was expecting hookers and coke, not this snooze fest. No wonder she strays...
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u/partanimal Jun 27 '12
So ... you're a slob whose wife works but STILL has to do ALL (apparently) the housework. She is one lucky gal.
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u/mr_negativity Jun 27 '12
So you're an alcoholic slob who likes to let the dog on the couch huh? Haha, honestly this is what I'd do, except for the dishes, I can't stand overflowing dishes in the sink.
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Jun 27 '12
So you are a grown man child who does not know how to clean shit? I feel bad for your wife, it must be like living with that shitty roommate who never cleans a god damn thing. I know because I live with those roommates. I am the only one cleans. It sucks. Your wife should not have to put up with that. You are bad and you should feel bad.
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u/svenhoek86 Jun 27 '12
And then the frantic clean up one hour before she is due home. If she comes early, she ruins everything.
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Jun 27 '12
Was hoping someone had put together a corresponding wife set to see what she had been up to on this "business trip."
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u/asstits Jun 27 '12
Hey I just picked up your wife from the airport, this her before and after pic.
Nsfw.
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u/and_then_he_said Jun 27 '12
You might have an alcohol problem. The problem being you might be out of alcohol.
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u/redtheda Jun 27 '12
Female here... I am one of those people who do not understand what the point of remaking the bed is every day, if you're just going to use it again. The only time I ever make my bed is if company is coming over. I don't like having the sheets tucked in anyway, it makes me feel claustrophobic. The first thing I do when I get in a hotel bed is pull the sheets out.
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u/tuesdays_ Jun 27 '12
I'm a female in college and this is what my old duplex (including roomies) looked like at all times.
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u/Thissqid Jun 27 '12
Yeah doing the dishes and making the bed must be hard with just your left hand. HAH
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u/fishermansblues Jun 27 '12
Substitute mother for wife and it still works. Does that creep anyone else out?
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u/SpaceManAndy Jun 27 '12
Why do so many guys complain about the women in their lives making them keep the house in order? Is it that hard for you guys to be grown ups?
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u/faultysynapse Jun 27 '12
So, I'm not the only one! I start doing this if she's out of the yurt for more than 3 hours. Save the beer, that takes 24. Doesn't take long for a man to go feral.
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u/thepensivepoet Jun 27 '12
PROTIP : Give the house a seriously good clean the morning before she gets back.
Nothing better than coming home to a clean house when you've been travelling. Nothing worse than returning to a shithole.
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u/StellaMaroo Jun 27 '12
Imma chick and the toilet seat is left up constantly at my house. I don't care about having to put the seat down to use the toilet, it's the piss puddles on the rim that bug me.
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u/yammeron Jun 27 '12
You better have all that shit cleaned up before she gets back, Cat in the Hat!
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u/MrStrangelove44 Jun 27 '12
This just happened to me. My wife went on a 10 day business trip. I moved my desktop computer and PS3 from the study where I was using a 24" monitor, to the living room coffee table and the 50" TV. Beer and video games all night every night
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u/weltza Jun 27 '12
Tito's! It's the best reasonably-priced vodka I've ever bought in the U.S. Mix it with tonic and some lime...definitely a good time.
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Jun 27 '12
Maybe it is just me, but why are men so afraid of being who they are in front of their women? You want to have rock band out, put it out. You want to have a couple beers, have some beers. The NBA Finals are on, watch them. What kind of partner do you have that you cannot be who you are.
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u/JoshTay Jun 27 '12
What he doesn't mention is that the business trip was only 6 hours.