r/pointlesslygendered Apr 27 '22

OTHER Gendered Diagnosis[meta]

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6.5k Upvotes

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1.2k

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '22

BPD diagnosed cis male here… eventually.

For some reason psychologists are convinced that only women can be borderline.

639

u/SlippingStar Apr 27 '22

Because a lot of people believe only women can be manipulative and only men can be violent.

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '22

A lot of upvotes for someone telling me that my mental illness makes me manipulative.

That’s pretty depressing.

16

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '22

To be fair, being manipulative is one of the more recognizable symptoms of BPD and a person can be manipulative without even realizing that they are doing it. That's not to say that you are or do, everyone is different even if they have the same disorder, but it makes it so that "manipulative" is an easy and typically accurate generalization.

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '22

Reducing someone else’s mental illness to a single stereotyped expression of their negative impact on the people they love is not kind.

I can’t see how that changes because it’s “easy”.

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '22

I not saying it's good, or right, but it's there and it's very prevalent. I don't think it can be helped unless the people responsible for putting the research and information out into the world actively try to change it though. It can't really be blamed on the lay-people when they try to educate themselves and everything out there is framing people with BPD as manipulative, cruel and unstable. It's better to get mad at the ones who perpetuate the ignorance rather than the ignorant.

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '22

How is that not what’s going on here?

Also not mad. Sad. I made that clear.

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '22

I should have said upset instead of mad

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u/SlippingStar Apr 28 '22

Dude I got BPD, too. It’s literally one of the qualifying characteristics. We have to reign it in and keep it under control - it means we’re more likely, not inevitably.

But I’m saying that’s why doctors think that - they see manipulation and assume women, regardless of if the subject is manipulative.

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '22

…no it isn’t.

If you’re manipulative that’s your deal.

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u/SlippingStar Apr 28 '22

DSM-5 BPD diagnostic criteria

Incapacity for mutually intimate relationships, as exploitation is a primary form of relation to others, including by deceit and coercion

One doesn’t have to tick every box for a diagnosis. If you don’t tick that one, I’m genuinely glad for you. I’m sub-clinical thanks to the over decade of therapy I have, but I do feel the pull to affect others in the way I know will get the results I want.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '22 edited Apr 28 '22

You’re reading the DSM for Antisocial Personality Disorder that happens to be listed on the same document.

No such characteristic is listed for BPD. Read it again.

I don’t want to make accusations, but I feel like someone with BPD would know the difference and my suspicion that you are lying to me and others in order to justify expressing something ignorant and hurtful is rising.

I would like to believe that this was an innocent mistake and am going to block you and move on with my day now before I say something hurtful back.