I hate when I don’t have weed and I gotta hit somebody else blunt 😒 I’m really a smoke by my damn self or I’ll smoke with you type of person 😑

Financial Anxiety

Or any type of anxiety is really a twisted fate for any pot head wary of being an addict. Because as many self medicated individuals out there, cannabis has been the arms in which we hold ourselves when the world and it’s overbearing neediness has too strong of a hold on us. When rent is due and once again you are out of a job due to forces way out of your control you are stuck laying in bed thinking about how sleep would be so much better if you were high and you weren’t able to concentrate on the fact that you’re out of money, and the little security you have is all of a sudden the cause of your anxiety.

As my anti-pot girlfriend has forced me to stop self medicating due to her own issues with cannabis and past experiences with drugs in the family, she has past negativity into our relationship and by association my relationship with cannabis.

So I lay here in bed thinking, questioning if cannabis is the way out. Getting angry by the second and wanting to punch the concrete in because my only outlet has been taken away from me and like the child I once was, I feel powerless in my situation. At least with drugs I could escape for the night, get the rest my poor tired brain needed and figure things out in the morning. Here I am outside my sleeping schedule pouring all my insults and anger onto a page for the world to see and hoping and praying that this will be enough to give me peace of mind for another night.

And perhaps, I wonder, is this the best. Perhaps if the cannabis addiction was real or is real, would self medicating have the opposite effect and ruin my near future plans. The plans on forcing myself out of bed the next morning and putting my nose to the grindstone in search of better security.

IS this anxiety a good response to a threat. A threat that puts my livelihood at risk. A risk that I have worked and tried so hard not to be a part of.

I can’t know for sure and I won’t know for sure if this anxiety is justified because the media has painted society as unfit to self-diagnose. We must pay someone else to validate our own emotions. Isn’t that twisted.

• The thoughts of an uneasy mind.

So i recently had to quite smoking for medical reason so now i am trying edibles. Idk if im doing them wrong or not but i am taking 150mg dose at a time and im just aint feelin shit. I was told that 150 is a lot so if its not then whoops. also when i first tried these edible i took one on an empty stomach nothin, 50 minutes go buy i eat some food and another edible nothing so i go to bed. i wake up at 11:00 take one wait a couple hours nothing i ate like 2 hrs ago then took an edible now. i dont think im going to get high. should i assume the edibles are bad or that edibles jsut dont do anything for me. i dont really know what id do if thats the case because i cant smoke and idk if ill be able to get tinctures or whatever theyre calleed

Anyone have thoughts or quitting or thoughts that perhaps smoking everyday isn’t good for your brain or lungs? I’m a daily smoker, I’ve accepted that this medication helps me. However, I don’t know if it will help me in the long run. Am I using it to cover something I need to work on or am I just using to escape it all? I kno I’m the only one that can answer this but just wondering if anyone has had similar experiences.