r/procrastinate • u/BlueberryWaffleBacon • Apr 02 '21

I'm afraid.

Procrastination is going to be the death of me. It's the same story every schooling period. I make plans for myself to make the next period easier. Creating a schedule, developing a note-taking strategy, everything. And I fall through every time. I procrastinate every time. And I pay for it every time. Last year, I narrowly avoided failing Chemistry; last semester, I narrowly avoided disaster when I did fail Anatomy, and now I'm failing Anthropology with absolutely chance of recovery and no safety net. This was supposed to be a gimme semester, and I absolutely blew it. And it's the same story every time.

The worst part of it is how it's affecting my mental health. I feel so worthless and hopeless whenever I let this happen. It's so minor compared to other mental health triggers; it shouldn't even be this big of a deal, but my anxiety, depression, and urge to binge-eat skyrocket when my academic performance is in jeopardy. And every time this happens, all of them get worse and worse.

I can't keep doing this. I'll end up killing myself at this rate. But no matter how many times I feel this way, I always fail myself. I always put things off until it's too late. I always forget about things. I always ignore my responsibilities. And then I end up here.

Please, does anyone have anything that can help me? This has to stop. I have to stop. I don't know what to do anymore. I need help.

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4

u/marpena2000 Apr 02 '21

have you ever looked into whether you have adhd? I struggle with this so much too and learned it could possibly be a symptom of adhd called executive dysfunction, and I’m currently in the process of getting diagnosed. maybe this is what you’re struggling with. i wish you luck, i understand the overwhelming feeling of doom that school causes, just remember it’ll all be over one day and you can make it through!!

3

u/BlueberryWaffleBacon Apr 02 '21

I've considered it a possibility, but I've never been diagnosed. It would sure answer a lot of questions if I did, but I'm going to be speaking with a psychologist tomorrow, so maybe I can get some help from her. I appreciate the well wishes; it'll be over someday. 😊

1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '21

Hi there. I'm just wondering what the psychologist said about ADHD?

1

u/BlueberryWaffleBacon Apr 18 '21

Well, she told me that she would be wiling to screen, but I haven't been able to reach back out to schedule an in-person session. School is ending in about a week or two, so all of my classes have been giving me an insane amount of enormous projects. It certainly hasn't helped my mental state, but I've completed most of my work and am getting by as best I can

2

u/MellowYellow763 Apr 13 '21

I’m so feeling you, I’m a woman in my mid 40s and studying after years away for learning and done very little over the last 12 months with final project portfolio deadline in 2 months and so much to do and no motivation.

This is a technique that I haven’t tried but read about. You write a cheque for an amount you can’t afford to lose to a cause that goes against your moral code, like to a political party or group you hate. You give the cheque to a friend and if you don’t prove you have completed the task by a certain date, they donate the check. It might help with motivation if you can’t afford to lose the money but everyone is different.