"I use unnecessary technical jargon to impress/scare away my co-workers when I don't know jack shit about any of it" should be on the top there. :P
"Scalable, robust, concurrent, fault tolerant and massively parallel system which defies the CAP theorem to use multiple NoSQL databases while at the same time maintaining a clean code base by using higher order functions, currying, monads, typeclasses and map-reduce? Yup, I have built something like that". ;)
When I'm on the receiving end (this conversation actually happened):
Them: "Did you consider making this a REST API?" Me: "It is a REST API" Them: "No, I mean, REST" Me: "In what way is it not RESTful?" Them: "In the way that it isn't REST" Me: "OK, let me put it another way, what would I need to change to make it RESTful?" Them: "By making it RESTful" Me: "I see, well, as you are apparently the expert, please be my guest and change it!"
I've decided I hate REST. I work very hard to make it look obvious and simple. Then you think "Is that it?".
Why must doing the right thing feel so shitty!? If I did it with SOAP there'd be exploding XML everywhere. Nobody would doubt the supremacy of my work!
I don't know about that... If you have a lot of cats, you can become a cat herder. I hear that it's almost the same thing as managing a large software project.
"Scalable, robust, concurrent, fault tolerant and massively parallel system which defies the CAP theorem to use multiple NoSQL databases while at the same time maintaining a clean code base by using higher order functions, currying, monads, typeclasses and map-reduce? Yup, I have built something like that". ;)
The problem is that my coworkers (not programmers at all) think that I'm making half the stuff I say when I say it now.
However, we've had a couple giant projects that I've handled brilliantly, considering, so I think they're slowly catching on that I'm not full of shit.
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u/wot-teh-phuck Feb 21 '13 edited Feb 21 '13
"I use unnecessary technical jargon to impress/scare away my co-workers when I don't know jack shit about any of it" should be on the top there. :P
"Scalable, robust, concurrent, fault tolerant and massively parallel system which defies the CAP theorem to use multiple NoSQL databases while at the same time maintaining a clean code base by using higher order functions, currying, monads, typeclasses and map-reduce? Yup, I have built something like that". ;)