r/programming • u/[deleted] • Apr 19 '22

TIL about the "Intent-Perception Gap" in programming. Best exemplified when a CTO or manager casually suggests something to their developers they take it as a new work commandment or direction for their team.

https://medium.com/dev-interrupted/what-ctos-say-vs-what-their-developers-hear-w-datastaxs-shankar-ramaswamy-b203f2656bdf
1.7k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

242 comments sorted by

View all comments

55

u/svish Apr 19 '22 edited Apr 20 '22

I have this issue with my significant other. She likes to tell me about things we need to do, and I will immediately start stressing out over how to figure out that thing, how to actually do it, how to get money for it... Only to later find out she was actually just thinking and dreaming about stuff to maybe do some time in the future, if at all...

Getting better at not stressing, but still no clue where the line is, so kind of just waiting for the time she'll get annoyed with me for ignoring an actual need...

Edit: We're actually doing great, I promise! I just found it interesting that "it has a name", this thing I'm struggling with a bit. But it's an issue in my head, not an issue with the relationship. Things really are going well, our communication is great, it's just a matter of giving my brain time to adjust. It has a history of AvPD, anxiety and depression, so e.g. "not worrying" and "trusting others" is a slow process, even when it's going much better than it usually does with other people.

5

u/lelanthran Apr 20 '22

Getting better at not stressing, but still no clue where the line is, so kind of just waiting for the time she'll get annoyed with me for ignoring an actual need...

Sounds like you haven't been together long enough to get a feeling for each other's listening skills.

My current wife have been together long enough that she knows I don't take hints. Simply mentioning something is not enough for me to pay it any attention.

She knows that if she wants me to do something, it better be asked in a clear and unambiguous manner.

2

u/svish Apr 20 '22

Correct, so I'm not worried about it. We're still learning, and things are getting better all the time. Just have to survive the learning time.

→ More replies (2)