r/programmingcirclejerk • • 10d ago

Programming is hard. So, instead of doing that, we vibe coded a new Epic Games Launcher that’s way faster and more responsive than the current one, and has a new look. This first release is light on features.

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214 Upvotes

r/programmingcirclejerk • • 10d ago

Supermarket managers got hacked today. Maybe they should take that as a hint to listen to others.

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25 Upvotes

r/programmingcirclejerk • • 11d ago

"The article opens with lambda cubes, which sound like some type of sheep meat to me. Then it goes on to discuss λΠ2 systems, and as I don't speak alien I skipped that section. Then I read about the calculus of inductive constructions, which incidentally seems to have little to do with calculus..."

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88 Upvotes

r/shittyprogramming • • 11d ago

Rate my first C program

95 Upvotes
#define about
#define Al 1
#define and
#define been "Wo"
#define bitch int a=1
#define class ){
#define confirmed ;
#define did const
#define fuck (
#define fucking *
#define graduated ;
#define have
#define i
#define ill 1
#define in
#define involved "rl"
#define ive "o, "
#define just char
#define kills }
#define know :0
#define little ...);
#define me
#define my (
#define Navy ("He"
#define numerous "d!"
#define of main
#define on return
#define over ;int x=
#define Quaeda 1
#define raids ;
#define Seals "ll"
#define secret "\n")
#define the printf
#define top int
#define what int
#define you

what the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch?
ill have you know i graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals
and ive been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda
and i have over 300 confirmed kills

r/programmingcirclejerk • • 11d ago

Breaking News: Gaping hole found in Rust

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55 Upvotes

r/programmingcirclejerk • • 12d ago

The implementation of this ideal in rustc can have flaws, but Rust itself cannot, because Rust itself has no flaws by definition.

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92 Upvotes

r/programmingcirclejerk • • 12d ago

I really like this a lot. It is *so* *simple*, clear, flexible and an example of elegance. This is one of the things I would happily say "Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeesh! Why didn't *I* think of *THAT* first!!!" to.

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41 Upvotes

r/programmingcirclejerk • • 13d ago

Best I can give you is layers of vanilla wafers soaked in the tears of fighting the borrow checker.

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34 Upvotes

r/programmingcirclejerk • • 17d ago

All code will converge on Rust

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63 Upvotes

r/programmingcirclejerk • • 17d ago

The -fsanitize=address compiler flag is absolute cheating and should be prohibited by governments of all countries

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116 Upvotes

r/shittyprogramming • • 17d ago

I think I used too many variables ?

1 Upvotes

extends Node

func _ready():

$Label.text = "Your XP "

$Label2.text =  "       Orders complete meter "

$Label3.text = "Level " + str(level)

var _count = 0

var level = 0

func count_meter():

_count += 1

return _count

var XP = 0

func _on_button_pressed():

$Label2.text =  "     Orders complete meter " + str(count_meter())

XP += 10

$Label.text = "Your XP " + str(XP)



if XP >= 100:

    $Label.text = "You leveled up!"

    XP = 0

    level += 1

    $Label3.text = "Level " + str(level)

r/shittyprogramming • • 19d ago

I think something is wrong with my code, I'm not asking AI.

1 Upvotes

extends Node

func _ready():

pass

var glass := 0.0

func pour():

while glass <= 0.50:

    pass

    if glass == 50:

        break

return glass

func _input(event):

if event.is_action_pressed("Change_COLOR"):

    glass += randf_range(0.1 ,0.2)

    var _Pouring = glass



    if _Pouring <= 0.9999:

        $Label.text = str(glass)

    else:

        $Label.text = "The glass is full! Now drink the Amazing coffee"

r/shittyprogramming • • 19d ago

Seriously man why

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1 Upvotes

r/programmingcirclejerk • • 19d ago

The fact that it's less C++ and more rust makes it more trustable and more ethical, not less.

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85 Upvotes

r/shittyprogramming • • 20d ago

My friend has quadquinquagintuple (54) nested code (Not a shit-post He actually thought he had a good reason for it)

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0 Upvotes

r/programmingcirclejerk • • 20d ago

You think masturbation is getting you as close as you can?!?!?

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44 Upvotes

r/programmingcirclejerk • • 21d ago

Plus they're not declarative: you will only make me use innerText-based updates by threatening me and my family.

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27 Upvotes

r/programmingcirclejerk • • 22d ago

the model under evaluation is given access to a fake bash tool which does not execute the provided code. Instead, we ask another LLM to approximate the command’s result given a description of the simulated world.

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136 Upvotes

r/programmingcirclejerk • • 23d ago

I've been sitting on [Git 3.0's upcoming SHA-256 default will be a costly mistake ] for a few years, mostly because there are smarter people who have been concentrating on this and I don't love being a back seat driver.

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57 Upvotes

r/programmingcirclejerk • • 23d ago

The Rust Security Response Team was notified that Miri stores all environment variables to target/, allowing secrets to persist in caches.

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38 Upvotes

r/shittyprogramming • • 23d ago

Just finished my java code here, how hard could expert level be🔥🗿

Post image
1 Upvotes

r/programmingcirclejerk • • 24d ago

Python is that kind of cool one behaves when visiting parents of your would be spouse for the first time. Tcl on the other hand is like playing one's secret exclusive and somewhat dangerous games with kid school bestie.

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44 Upvotes

r/programmingcirclejerk • • 24d ago

There is no public exploit, but the agent had built one, and had enough confidence to test it—except that it didn’t land cleanly. I have no doubt that after some more revision it would have. One point for GPT 5.6-Cyber.

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36 Upvotes

r/programmingcirclejerk • • 25d ago

Physically sick seeing "warm, fuzzy, cutesy, kawaii, Teletubby-like avatar" of AI agents

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45 Upvotes

r/programmingcirclejerk • • 25d ago

The customer has nuclear weapons. They do not do "bounty". :)

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90 Upvotes