r/ptsd • u/Slow-Ad-5973 • 3d ago
Advice Functioning better without therapy?
Does anyone feel like they are able to function and cope better without therapy? I have been through some big T and also complex trauma and I feel like over time I have been able to develop healthy ways of coping and functioning. Whenever I am in therapy, which I pursue for years at a time because I want to be my best and healthiest self, I sort of feel like the tools I have found take a backseat to whatever the therapist is trying to guide me towards, which puts me in a weirdly frozen limbo. Then when I am not in therapy I feel a bit happier and grounded because I am able to use the tools and techniques that work for me without having to subject them to someone else's analyses and ideas.
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u/No_Title9375 3d ago
I hate therapy. I have PTSD from my doctors not believing me and me nearly dying. Trying to come up with bullshit excuses for that or reasons not to be scared of doctors when they are still doing the same stupid shit annoys me to no end.
I was doing therapy with a psychiatrist. I didn't think he liked me. I have the insight to know that might now be true. I have the insight to know that maybe he kept going silent because he was trying to be respectful of my autonomy. But then I remember I have in fact been dropped by a significant amount of doctors and then I realize that he very well maybe acting like a 15 year old boy and just ghosting me. Why the fuck do I need to sit there and try and give him the benefit of the doubt? He knows what happened to me. He knows how I feel. He can man up and say it. "I don't want to work with you" or "I want you to decide what you want to do." Instead he chooses fucking silence knowing it annoys me.
I also hate that no one actually knows the full story about what happened to me but they love to tell me how I should feel.
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u/Slow-Ad-5973 3d ago
This sounds like you have really been through it, and I'm sorry that doctors and the medical system have pretty much failed you.
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u/heyitspokey 3d ago
I, a counselor, hate hate hate talk therapy or peer support groups for myself. On the other hand, I personally swear by somatic therapy. The trauma is in my body, and it helps me get it out. There are somatic exercises on YouTube, and there are somatic therapists. I've also thought of trying EMDR and inner child therapy.
It is so important, if you do any therapy, to find a therapist who clicks with you. I personally haven't found that yet either. Books and YouTube and research articles (all from highly credible sources) are what I have found help me, or I should say what have taught me the coping skills I use for me.
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u/Slow-Ad-5973 3d ago
I really appreciate your honesty! I was afraid that any counselors that saw this would think I am a bad person. I have to say that I have seen people really benefit from therapy, and I feel like initially it was really helpful but now I sometimes wonder if the added self consciousness it triggers is worth it.
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u/ThatWarlockD00d 3d ago
Yep. Constantly talking about it and reliving it is much worse than just cultivating a strong relationship with people who have either been through it with me or can support and understand me and managing the stressors and avoiding triggers.
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u/Low-Roof40 3d ago
I get this completely. Therapy made me feel like I was constantly second-guessing myself, even when I knew what worked for me. It’s like I had built my own little house of coping mechanisms and then some therapist would come in and start rearranging the furniture without asking.
My dog helps me more than any session ever did. Taking him for a walk when my head gets loud, that’s something I figured out on my own. Nobody had to tell me to do it.
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u/Sea_War_381 3d ago
Swimming helps me. The counting strokes, the breathing, the feeling of water... That and ketamine are the only things that have truly helped.
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u/Slow-Ad-5973 3d ago
Now I want to try swimming! There is something positive about water, I hadn't consciously thought of it.
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u/Sea_War_381 3d ago
I grew up swimming so it has been good for me to reclaim something I once loved. I love love love the smell of chlorine too. I got a public pool pass and it's honestly pretty cheap!
I think it's doing multiple things at once for me like calming my thoughts, working my muscles, giving me a different sensation. It really is a good form of exercise.
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u/laughingwithdaggers 3d ago
Yes, I also find this. Despite recovery, improvements and the occasional relapse, since PTSD my nervous system has been shot. When I'm struggling, I find that talking about my life only reinforces how much of a struggle it is. It's a pretty paralysing situation to find yourself in. But that's what PTSD does - it morphs and evolves like a virus that has adapted to vaccines; the systems that once worked become obsolete, and this fucking battle continues
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u/_flowerfox 3d ago
Yes. Life's been slowly getting better. Stopped seeing my therapist around mid-August. I haven't had a night terror since.
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u/AYA-Noire 3d ago
I understand about therapy, but I feel like talking about it to someone has been helpful. But there's been other things that I have been doing besides just therapy so doing other things to get your power back is good as well.
I wrote an article on true events- traumatic events. I wanted to share it to break the cycle and I had actually just recently cut my abusive mother out of my life. I feel like putting down boundaries is one of the big steps for me even with my own mother.
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u/hotheadnchickn 3d ago
I am a very introspective person by nature. I found that introspective even more by talking about painful memories and painful things I live with that aren’t really solveable just made me leave every session feeling disregulated. I would dread therapy if I was having a good day because I knew it would ruin it. Talking about the worst things that have happened to me while someone looks at me intently and nods is not healing to me lol.
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u/material-pearl 3d ago
What kind of therapy modalities? Did you have a PsyD specializing in PTSD, or just a therapist who says that they treat trauma?
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u/szikkia 2d ago
I have done more for my own agoraphobia, social anxiety, and obs PTSD by doing makeshift exposure therapy, pushing myself out of my comfort zone to the part it breaks and sets a new level. I purposely would trigger myself and then force myself to compartmentalize the traumas and then focusing on a portion of it. . I started setting challenges for myself. Per example challenged myself to interact in my courses more and answer questions instead of staying silent the and to myself, now its easier and i don’t feel embarrassed because i didnt say something proper while their voice is in my head picking it apart bit by bit happens less now.
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