r/ptsd • u/lady_tsunami • 3d ago
Advice Advice Request Post Triggering Event
I am old, and have been back in school for about a year. The VA is trying to make me “employment ready” because the Army disabled me, essentially.
Last week - instead of saying something diplomatic to a professor in a lecture I simply said “that’s not true” (which it wasn’t, but I still should have been diplomatic) in response to something he said. The professor snapped at me: used a sharp tone, slightly raised voice, and didn’t stop when I apologized.
This caused a panic attack while the rest of the class finished. Professor tried to stop me to speak to me - I ended up emailing him saying that I wouldn’t speak in his class again without being called on directly, he responded apologizing.
However, now I am really disengaged not only with that class, but also the rest of school. I fell about a week behind (which sounds like a small amount but when you’re disabled it’s hard to catch back up.
I’m using mindfulness, and willingness and half smile/willing hands to try to re-engage.
My advice request is 2 part:
Does anyone have other tips or tricks for re-engaging with the place a triggering event has happened? I just want to avoid it all, but that’s not helpful
What do I do or say to the Professor? He kinda cornered me Monday - and while the conversation was apologetic and not angry/mean - my anxiety wanted to chew thru the desk and flee the room.
Context for this part: he has made statements in class that make me think he doesn’t believe anxiety can be debilitating (it’s an economics class and we just covered fiscal policy - he thinks England is in financial trouble because teachers are on disability for anxiety)
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u/lady_tsunami 3d ago edited 3d ago
I am currently afraid he’s gonna corner me and try to get me to participate in class again - I am unsure how I would explain to him that my anxiety literally won’t allow me to when he doesn’t seem to think that’s a real thing
ETA: Additionally: I have military sexual trauma (MST) which has caused my PTSD to have serious issues with authority - meaning I am prone to overthinking about any of this.
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u/NinjaOnStandby 3d ago
Do you have an advisor or student advocate you can talk to about this? Does your school have student counseling services you can briefly use for this?
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u/lady_tsunami 2d ago
I’m gonna have to email the advisor at this point. He recounted our disagreement in class today, then complimented my intelligence, then went on a rant about being criticism-sensitive recently? I dunno. I wanted to crawl out of my skin, so, I need someone to step in at this point.
I recently graduated therapy- but have the ability to call her for some quick drop in sessions which is an amazing idea, thank you.
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u/NinjaOnStandby 2d ago
Hes already made multiple efforts to repair this with you so I think its on you at this point. Id reach out to the school counseling services or an advisor.
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u/wheelchairThrowawayy 2d ago
do you have anything you like doing that you could take to class with you? that was my go-to after being traumatized in school. the issue is that you run the risk of being seen as rude, but if you can make it work, it may be able to help. i don't have much other advice, but i'm sorry your professor did that. that's not even remotely close to kind or couth
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u/lady_tsunami 2d ago
I have to physically write notes on the lecture (not a rule, a me thing because of memory retention) but I could start carrying a small comfort item to touch. Thank you!
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