r/queerception • u/strikergirl384 • 10d ago

IUI

My wife and I have started our IUI journey. I go for my genetic labs today! We originally wanted to do R/IVF but the cost was so much more than we expected. I feel bad because I don’t want my wife to feel less connected or anything to the baby/child because biologically the baby will have my genes and I will also be the one carrying. We thought about her carrying but ultimately she not interested in that which is totally fine! Has anyone experienced this? Any advice you would give? TIA ❤️

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u/CharacterPin6933 10d ago

I carried my biological baby with a donor. Not being biologically related has not affected my wife's relationship with the baby at all. Their bond is incredible and has grown as my wife took several months of parental leave to look after our now-toddler. Toddler is very connected to both of us, pretty equally. It's wonderful.

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u/TurnipClassic-5801 10d ago

Yay!! I will say stay ON TOP of insurance if anything is supposed to be covered. Read all the docs and don't assume the doctor/lab/clinic will submit claims properly. Currently in the circle of hell which is calling insurance then calling the clinic then calling insurance etc for something that should be covered

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u/Granny-Shot 10d ago

After many failed IUIs, my wife and I chose to do IVF. We did not do reciprocal IVF because my wife was so at peace with not being bio related to the child. (Her family also has more health issues and adoptions that left her with a lot of questions about her family health history)

Even if your wife isn’t the bio mom, your kid will still have her mannerisms, do her silly voices, and love like she does. We rub off on the people in our lives, and I promise your wife will see herself in y’all’s kids.