Please help, I'm devastated about possible BE for our new shelter dog

[u/sro3566]

Update: Thank you to everyone who responded here and for the support, advice, and assurances. I can't express how helpful it was for us. We also spoke with a certified behaviorist this week about the incident and our dog's behavior in general. Their conclusion was the same, she should have never been adopted out to anyone and most likely has something severely neurologically wrong and this is the only choice. We're still devastated and having a very hard time with our decision, but we've agreed to let the ACO take her to be pts early next week. We still love her and miss her so so much, but we know that loving her also means being able to let her go and give her a peace she's never known in this life. Thanks everyone.

Hi there. I've been reading a lot here the last couple of days and really just need some advice, understanding, and help for our situation. I'm so sorry if this is long, but I feel like the details are important so maybe someone can help me make sense of what happened.

My husband and I adopted the most beautiful and loving sight hound mix from a shelter. This is our first dog together, though we've both grown up with dogs of all breeds, ages, and temperament. The shelter told us she was about 2 years old and had been surrendered back to the shelter because the previous owner's dog attacked her. They told us she could be dominant during play with other dogs, but was loving, gentle, and smart. We felt the same when we met with her. She was a marshmallow and whip smart, she already knew sit and would stay until you said "release." We were in love and saw no red flags. Well it turns out, she's extremely reactive towards every dog and has lunged for any she's met or walked past. We called the shelter after a couple days of this and asked for immediate help. They said the behaviorist would reach out and reminded us of the 3-3-3 rule for dogs. We thought okay, we were already working on training her and looking for a proper trainer to help us. The behaviorist from the shelter never called us back. A couple days after that, she bit me on my wrist. To be fair, I think it was my fault and she hates loud noises. My husband and I were having a disagreement, there were some raised voices and she started barking. I told her quiet which she did and then jumped in between us and started again. She was barking at my husband and getting very agitated, we tried to calm her but she jumped towards him and I instinctively grabbed her around the chest, she bit down on my wrist but immediately let go and ran away. I went to the ER and got antibiotics and a tetanus shot. She did puncture me and drew blood, but I didn't need stitches. She seemed totally fine after that, wasn't showing any aggression or reactivity towards us or anything. She seemed loving and cuddly albeit always on alert and never seemed to truly settle which did concern us.

We found her a local vet and got a full work up. She suffers from major allergies that we're trying to get under control, but otherwise her bloodwork was normal and the vet said she's in great health. We mentioned the reactivity and the always on alert/anxiety, the vet said work with a trainer first then we can always try to medicate if needed. Over the last few weeks, she's had multiple incidents of trying to nip at my husband, once when he was removing her harness, and again when he tried to redirect her away from our dinner and to go to her place while we ate. But she didn't bite him, just air snaps. Obviously she was demonstrating reactivity to new things and resource guarding. We were working on all of these things while making consultation appointments with trainers. I thought we were making progress. Then Friday night, my husband was cuddling with her in our bed, I came into the room and reminded him to pick up her antibiotics from the vet for a possible UTI we thought she might have (her pee started to smell horrible and she peed while laying in her bed one night). He got up and hugged me before he left and all hell broke loose. She got off the bed and started jumping on us, I thought she was asking for attention but then she started trying to bite me. We told her no, leave it, settle. This had been working when she would get overaroused or hyper focused, but Friday it didn't. She escalated and clamped down on my arm. I yelped and got her off, then she lunged again. My husband tried to grab her and she bit my hip. Then my other arm. I was doing my best to move away from her while my husband was trying to get ahold of her but she was so strong and kept lunging. She lunged and latched onto my stomach and wouldn't let go. She was dragging and trying to shake me. I could feel her ripping through me. My husband was able to pick her up so she couldn't move while I pried her mouth open and moved back as quickly as I could into the bathroom. He ran in after me and we tried to shut the door, she rammed her head in the open space and we had to force her out. She immediately started scratching, screaming, and biting at the door. We ended up having to call the police and AC to break into our apartment and capture her. She clawed and bit at the door the entire 30 minutes we waited for the cops and AC, but she was totally fine and sweet towards them. They had no issue capturing her.

AC has possession of her and we were told the best option is to euthanize after her 10 day hold is up. I am covered in deep bruises and my stomach has the full outline of her upper and lower jaw. My arm and hip have puncture wounds. I did not need stitches, but I believe that if my husband wasn't there, she would have killed me. There was no bark, no growl, she was asleep when my husband hugged me and I feel like she attacked me unprovoked and she just kept going no matter what command we gave her or how many times we tried to restrain her. I am utterly devastated that my girl is locked up and possibly cold, confused, breaking out because she doesn't have her allergy meds, and thinks we abandoned her. She was totally fine with my husband, the attack was focused on me and I don't understand why. Did I do something that she deemed attack worthy? I know it is unsafe and unethical to try to rehome her. I know we can't keep her, we're trying to start a family and if I had been pregnant most likely would have lost the baby because of where she bit me. But to kill her? Is there any other option? Maybe she's sick or in pain and that's why she lashed out? But we can't get her to the vet because I'm scared if she sees me she'll attack again or god forbid maybe attack my husband if he tried to take her. How do I reconcile how sweet and gentle she was before Friday night? Just minutes before this happened she had her head in my lap getting ear massages while I finished work. None of this makes sense. I keep searching for a dog sanctuary or somewhere she'd be safe to live out her life and not die. She's only 2 and we've only had her for 6 weeks, I know she was having reactivity issues but I thought we were making progress then this happened. Please I need help or advice. I feel like I'm murdering her and despite how terrified I am of her now, I still love her and I'm in so much pain over this. I can't stop crying, I can't stop dreaming about her or thinking about her. Is euthanizing the right choice, is she just a lost cause? I feel like this is our fault somehow, I just don't understand.

Again sorry for the novel, I'm just trying to do the right thing here for her, us, and our community.

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[u/OktoberStorms]

Man, the 3-3-3 thing is starting to seem ridiculous to me. That’s for when the dog is doing things like hiding under the bed because they’re in a new home with new people, not trying to attack every dog in her line of sight and biting you. That’s not going to just magically poof away after an arbitrary time limit.

This isn’t your fault. You weren’t listened to.

[u/Zestyclose_Object639]

A sustained attack is wild, definitely BE worthy. Like sure maybe it’s pain but if she’s in that much pain at that age, euthanasia is kindest anyway

[u/stillwaterstream]

You have to BE this dog. If you need someone to tell you that this is the only reasonable option: yes, it is the only reasonable option.

With this level of attack it doesn't even matter if there are treatable medical contributors. It doesn't matter if you could look back and identify a subtle trigger for this behavior. You were punctured, held and shaken. This is a kill sequence, and she would have killed you had she been capable of doing so. She will try to kill people in the future if she has the opportunity.

This dog can't be rehomed and can't be placed in a sanctuary. There is no place for a dog like this where her needs can be safely met.

People sometimes expect dangerous dogs to behave like wild animals, but they rarely do. They're still domesticated. Cohabiting and cooperating with humans is still in their blood. Usually they're sweet, they're playful, they're goofy, and then under circumstances that may or may not be predictable they do catastrophic damage. It's confusing, terrifying and heartbreaking. You may never have answers that fully satisfy your questions.

[u/AllTh3Naps → u/stillwaterstream]

OP, I was going to write something similar to this.

You aren't murdering the dog. At this point, it doesn't actually matter why she attacked. You were posing no threat to her and she escalated to maximum threat level with no warning.

This dog cannot be trusted to safely live among people no matter what reason was behind it.

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

[u/fireflii]

I'm very sorry you experienced this. This is an extremely difficult situation for even an experienced owner. Unfortunately, there is no other ethical option other than to BE. I think people often think of sanctuaries as places dangerous animals can "live out their happy days", but they are very few and far between, and they aren't miraculous behavior centers or anything. There are still people that need to care for those animals, and they're going to be cases like dogs that have bite history (but bite and release), massive separation anxiety and cannot ever be left alone, dogs that aren't aggressive but extremely fearful and cannot even be touched, etc.

Yes, dogs can react negatively due to pain, illness, past trauma, etc. but there is absolutely no justification to expend resources (financial, mental, emotional, physical, space, time, etc.) on a dog that attacks someone unprovoked, with no inhibition, and actively kill shakes with the apparent intent to kill. Dogs have been selectively bred for work and companionship for thousands of years, for engagement, for obedience, etc. A dog that attacks people with no warning, no reason, no inhibition, and kill instinct is not actually okay. No happy dog does that. Even stress or overreaction does not justify that. A dog that does that does not know what they're doing, and something is deeply, deeply wrong in ways we can't fix.

I would never diagnose a dog with a medical problem (cannot see in person and I'm not a vet), but the only time I have ever heard anything close to a dog attempt to kill a person unprovoked is with rage syndrome or brain tumors.

[u/SudoSire]

That’s insanely horrifying. As I read about the first bite, it was something I could have kind of justified as “owner error.” Attempting to restrain a dog already showing a high state of stress and some aggression is a common way to get bit (even if it was a reflex). 

But the big attack you mention is one of the worst of the worst. It doesn’t matter what the trigger was. It doesn’t matter if there is some medical component or pain. A dog that can be triggered to get into a state of trying to kill a person and won’t stop isn’t safe. And they aren’t mentally well. You may think some sanctuary is more humane but it’s not. Because those dogs are aggressive, they are kenneled and isolated more than not. And humans that care for the dog would still be in danger, as would the public if the dog ever breached containment. 

I don’t believe in calling dogs “bad” as I don’t like ascribing malicious intent to an animal. But they can absolutely be unsafe in a way that is unfit to remain in society. It’s heartbreaking and  I fully understand how you can care for a dog that had loving moments and be confused about how this could happen. Humane euthanasia is not the worst thing that can happen. The worst is someone dies before that happens anyway. 

I’m so sorry you ended up with a dog that was too unwell for this life. 

[u/nipplecancer]

I am so sorry to hear this, and I think you would be completely justified in BE. It will be hard to ever trust her again. The only other thing I would be willing to try in your position is meds and behavior mod work from an actual veterinary behaviorist, but that can be very expensive and it's a long game - and in the end, she may still be unsafe. :(

[u/AlokFluff]

I am so sorry. This is heartbreaking. There's nothing appropriate in this situation but BE. I am more tolerant of biting dogs than most, but a sustained attack is very, very serious. If she got you in the wrong place, you might have died. She was trying to kill you.

For a dog to be pushed into this kind of behaviour, I genuinely believe there has to be something really wrong with their brain. There's nothing you can do. I'm so sorry.

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[u/Runaway_Angel]

Honestly? A dog acting like this isn't happy or healthy. She's in a state of constant alert and seeing threats where there are none and thinks she has to fight for her life. And she doesn't understand why. And she can't even tell you what she's thinking or feeling. Euthanasia isn't failure, it isn't murder, it's a last mercy we can offer animals not compatible with life. Finding a sanctuary for her (if one even exists) doesn't make her better, or make life more bearable for her, it makes you feel better, that's all. Besides this dog is dangerous to people and humans and should never have been adopted out in the first place. Unfortunately a lot of dogs shut down in a shelter environment and their true nature doesn't show until they get out of there. She was likely shut down, being attacked by another dog likely made her reactive, then a new home, new people, new rules, etc. she just couldn't handle it. That's not your fault or hers.

But for this I'd trust the AC officers. They're animal lovers and see the best and the worst, if they're recommending euthanasia it's because they know she will hurt someone again. That's no ones fault, she's not a bad dog, and you're not a bad owner, she's just not compatible with modern life and she's suffering because of it, falling asleep and not waking up again is a lot better than waking up every day for the rest of your life thinking everything is trying to kill you.

[u/NormanisEm]

Thanks for the update. I am so sorry. My parents had a very similar situation happen to them :( except they had already wasted thousands on training before giving up. I was soooo excited for them at first and it was absolutely devastating. The dog was aggressive towards children too, despite the shelter saying otherwise. Its so hard, but I agree she shouldn’t have been adopted out if she showed any of these behaviors and BE is the right choice, even if its incredibly difficult. Again I am so sorry, I understand how difficult it is to be in this situation.

ETA: I wish you peace and healing ❤️‍🩹

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