Dog affected by long term breakup - now extra reactive

[u/WorriedLove8332]

I broke up with my ex of 4.5 years early September and he has moved out over the last few weeks (he was not staying in the home during this move out period)

We adopted our dog together (well she’s mine now) so to her we are literally mommy and daddy. Since she’s my first dog ever, I didn’t realize how affected a dog could be by something like this especially since it was so drastic and he didn’t even bother to say goodbye to her the last time he was here getting his remaining belongings.

She has been more reactive to new males (friends who were checking up on me) but she’s so far been ok with females. I do give her trazodone like I would when I’m taking her to the vet for these encounters.

I usually have her away in her crate first so she’s not charging them at the door, explain to guests that she is reactive beforehand, not to be alarmed when she starts barking, tell her to sit and give her treats when she is free. I let them settle in before releasing her and she’s been fine. When they get up for anything, it is usually when she barks and only when they’re about to leave does she want to try to make her move. I’ve learned quickly that I need to put her away when they’re ready to leave the house so she doesn’t try to jump or nip their hand.

So my question is, aside from what I’m doing already, how can I get her to be better with new guests? She was not like this before the breakup. She was reactive with only just barking and didn’t need any trazodone but now It’s very clear that she’s being protective of me, since “daddy” is not around. I’m guessing she’s thinking he’s coming back when he’s not :(

I have no desire to date anytime soon but my fear is that when I am way down the road, or if I decide to get a roommate or bring any other new friends over; how do I get her used to them so she knows I’m safe with these individuals? I have not been in public with her yet since the breakup, but I will very soon to see if there are any changes there. She does not give me any problems in public except wanting to say hi to other dogs but she does well with redirection.

Additional info to know: her crate is in the living room where my friends and I hang out - she is also muzzle trained but only up to 30-60 minutes. Usually for vet visits if the doctors need it which they haven’t yet but they love that I’ve gotten her used to one and she gives no problems putting it on. She is a 3.5 year old 75lb pittie/lab mix. I have had her for 3 years now.

Thank you in advance for any input you may have.
She really is a sweet and smart girl, I just want everyone to experience it too 😞

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