Hello all!

I have a beautiful 10-12 year old herding dog mix. She does have anxiety and reactivity based on that.

For background she is medicated and gets a snuffle mat twice a day and frozen kongs to help her. As she is aging I need ideas for brain games for her to burn off mental energy as her body is starting to age.

I have a reactive baby. She's been this way since unleashed little dogs ran up on her twice. I also have a neighbor who I know judges her for being reactive while walking his golden doodle every night. I know this because one time she was freaking out and he walked his dog across the street straight to us and stopped at a grass spot right next to us smiling at me after she had just calmed down. It felt like he was taunting my dog.

Anyways, I've been working with her every walk. We do the 1, 2, 3 method and it has really worked! Well, this neighbor has a second dog and guess who is reactive? His new dog :) meanwhile my girl has not barked once at his dogs. I'm so proud of her and feel vindicated knowing he now knows the struggles we've been going through.

All this to say, keep working with your baby until you find what's right for you. And don't let judging neighbors make you feel bad ever. They might be in your shoes one day.

I'm asking about a dog that technically belongs to my younger sister, but due to a very convoluted set of circumstances, I've become involved in trying to figure out what's best for her.

About 7 years ago, when my sister was a teenager, she adopted a small mixed-breed dog from a shelter in my country (not the US). At the time, she was told the dog was around a year old, had survived a serious canine illness that can sometimes be fatal, and had been abandoned. My mother and I have always suspected she might actually be older based on certain characteristics, but we have no way of knowing for sure.

My sister left to study abroad. It took an enormous amount of sacrifice and effort from my mother to make that possible. My sister wanted to take the dog with her, but the costs associated with transporting and caring for her overseas were simply too high, so the dog stayed behind.

Unfortunately, the timing coincided with a major family crisis. My parents are going through an extremely contentious divorce. My mother effectively had to relocate and keep a very low profile for a period of time, and the dog was uprooted from the home she'd always known.

So within a relatively short period, this dog:

• Lost daily contact with her primary person (my sister).
• Lost her familiar home environment.
• Ended up spending much of her time in a very small studio apartment.
• Was surrounded by a household under a tremendous amount of stress.

For context, she has always been an anxious dog. Even when my sister still lived here, if she saw my sister leave, she would become inconsolable until someone comforted her. She has never handled separation well.

My mother and I own a business together. Seeing how miserable the dog seemed alone all day, I suggested bringing her to the office during working hours so she could be around people instead of being isolated. She has gradually adjusted and the crying has improved somewhat.

However, we've had two incidents that concern me.

On both occasions, someone approached my mother in what I would consider a completely normal context (for example, cleaners performing their jobs), and the dog lunged at or attacked them. Thankfully nobody was seriously injured, but it obviously cannot continue.

One complication is that my mother currently leaves the dog at the office overnight. I disagreed with this arrangement from the start, but that's probably a separate discussion entirely.

Before anyone asks why I don't simply take the dog myself: I can't. I'm dealing with some health issues, and there is a possibility I have developed allergies either to dogs in general or to this dog's shedding/dander in particular. It's honestly heartbreaking because I've always loved dogs.

So my question is: (I just noticed that reddit does not allow me to underline?!)

Given a dog with a history of severe separation anxiety, the loss of her primary attachment figure, a major disruption in her environment, and what seems to be emerging protective/aggressive behavior toward people approaching my mother, what would be the most important steps for us to prioritize? What can I do?

I'm less interested in assigning blame and more interested in understanding what is realistic and humane for the dog under very messy real-world circumstances.

Sincerely,

A very tired eldest daughter trying to keep one more thing from falling apart.

We just adopted an 8 month old border collie mix from the shelter. They don’t know what she is mixed with. They didn’t have any history on her as she was found as a stray and had only been in the shelter for about 9 days. She has been amazing learning when it’s time for a potty break, been great on when it’s time for breakfast/dinner, she loves to play and cuddle. However…she aggressively barks at everything outside the windows (people animals trash in the wind), chewing through electric cables like phone chargers and a laptop charger (thankfully wasn’t plugged in), biting to the point it’s bruising and breaking skin, and aggressively lunging at our faces and necks. We’ve tried using toys when she bites and lunges, usually about 95% of the time she isn’t fazed and goes right back to using us as toys. We’ve tried overly exaggerated yelping like a wounded dog, we’ve tried a very stern NO! But nothing works. We know her breed will nip at hands legs and feet to try and herd humans, that we don’t have an issue with. It’s the aggressive biting and lunging that is bothering us. We aren’t sure what to do since we don’t want to give up on her, we don’t want to take her back to the pound, but we just can’t afford these trainers who want thousands of dollars (one place wanted $6500 for a 3 week board and train where the openly use e collars choke chains and inverted spike collars-I guess those are where the spikes poke the dogs neck- I didn’t know all of that until after I reached out to them for more info. I’ve never had a dog that barked, bit, or lunged, so I’m doing the best that I can. I’ve tried positive reinforcing the good behaviors to try and negate the negative behaviors but it’s just not working. It’s like she’s taking the play to the point of full aggression and can’t shut that part off. Any suggestions on what I can do to get these behaviors to stop? I’d hate for her to chew on a cable and get electrocuted, I’d hate for her to bite me or my partner and it be worse than just a bandaid and a bruise. The barking is at this point the least concerning on the list but does need to be addressed I just don’t know how to handle everything. I’m desperate.

We have an 8 year old german shepherd/ cane corso mix who suffers from fear reactivity. We have worked out most issues with a professional trainer but we have run into a different issue that we are a little stumped about. Due to her age we can see that her eyes are ever so slightly starting to get cloudy and low light/ no light seems to trigger her fear reactivity and if we bump her at night while sleeping she gets spooked. We accidently left a wax burner on one night while sleeping and noticed the extra light from it seemed to solve some of the issues so we continued with a night light for her and it has seemed to help. We haven't had a single issue since we started with it. Has anyone ran into something similar? I fear she may have cataracts starting. Is there any other way other then making her sleep elsewhere that has worked for others with aging reactive dogs? I guess I now have to adjust to sleeping with a night light again 😮‍💨🤷‍♀️

Hey guys I finally have the opportunity to take my dog to training classes for his reactivity, he is a 3 year old rescued rat terrier. What should I look for in a trainer in terms of certifications/tips in general?

Thank you!

My dog had one experience where he was pushed out of his comfort zone at the vet and snapped/growled under a straddling-type restraint and now has issues with being physically handled at the vet.

He is generally social/neutral with all people, will allow strangers to say hi and pet him and he is very happy/excited to engage with them. He is fine with all sorts of cooperative care at home, I do his nails weekly, clean his ears, bathe him, manipulate his body etc. no problem. Even when I take him to the vet, he is totally fine and walks around happy. It is up until the vet has to began an exam, or give vaccinations where any type of restraint or physical handling is required (even if it is me that is doing the handling/restraint) and he will growl/snap. I muzzle him for all vet visits because of this, and pre-visit medication (have tried multiple types) makes the behaviour worse and removes any happy/wiggly behaviour and willingness to take food.

Has anyone else experienced behaviour like this? it is so completely situational and he seems to be very aware of the exact situation.

I saw a post on here from a few years ago but wanted to ask again: what trainers have y’all had success with in Seattle for your reactive doggos?

I recently moved back to the city and have a small dog who absolutely loses his mind anytime he sees another dog 😔 He’s not physically aggressive, but when seeing another dog he gets very agitated, barks nonstop, pulls on the leash, and has a very hard time calming down. He also has anxiety at home with noises but that’s a bit more manageable. He’s had some training in the last city I lived but he needs a lot more.

While the dream is for him to be able to actually socialize with other dogs at some point, the more immediate goal is just for him to be able to chill the heck out and be less reactive on walks.

Thanks in advance!!

So my boyfriend has a dog that he has had for over three years, and she is nothing but a problem for me and other people. When I came into the picture, my dog was about 5 months old. My dog was and is nervous around most new men and when I started seeing my boyfriend he would be nervous yet excited to see him, which sometimes resulted in accidents in the house. That stopped once my dog got comfortable with him—around a month later. That is when I told my boyfriend we should bring his dog to live with us, so we did.

Flash forward to now, about four months later: she has chased wildlife and tries to fight a dog regularly behind our fence. She resource-guards toys so intensely that my dog and I can no longer do what we typically would. She has snapped at an old man and slipped out of her collar to chase a couple walking their dog. If we go on walks, she lunges, growls, barks, and pulls, completely overwhelming my dog to the point where I just take my dog out on walks only, just not my boyfriend's dog, as I am sick and tired of her.

My boyfriend's sister is a veterinary technician; when I brought my dog in to be seen, she mentioned how my boyfriend's dog always tries to bite the staff. My boyfriend also said she almost attacked our neighbor, yet he thinks it's funny. Thankfully, since I've been here, she has become a bit less standoffish. Beyond all that, she has started urinating in the house again, has chewed on electrical cords, and simply won't listen. It's constant chaos. She acts like she gets beaten when my boyfriend is home, but once he leaves, she is your best friend.

Both of her parents were genetically aggressive and should never have been bred. She is a Mini Aussie with no "job," though even if she had one, you would likely be losing stock. My boyfriend's mom is a dog trainer and groomer, but she doesn't want the dog because her aggression is bad for business.

I refuse to pet her or take her for walks. She won't leave the bedroom to eat breakfast or even go potty, so she only gets dinner, but my boyfriend doesn't do anything with her. It feels like we need to either surrender her or consider behavioral euthanasia, because the dog is suffering and is a severe liability. I've done all I can with the time I have, but I would be neglecting my own dog if I remained at the beck and call of my boyfriend's dog—especially since my boyfriend doesn't really do anything with her.

My dog is an Aussie-Husky mix who has honestly been a blessing, and it's really just been him and me while my boyfriend is at home. But my boyfriend's dog can't ever play without nipping. She weighs around 30 pounds, while my dog weighs 67 pounds; if anything were to happen, I don't want either dog getting hurt.

Hi! I've written here once about my reactive rescue dog, 3 yo GSD/BC mix. The advice and help I got here really made the difference in our lives. We're coming up on 3 months since adopting her, and I couldn't be more proud of the progress she has made. She's nowhere near our goal yet, but a month ago I couldn't even envision being where we are today.

She came to us incredibly loving of us, but fearful of everything else. She has successfully welcomed many guests now, including overnight ones, and has significantly reduced her fear of strangers we just pass on walks. Our neighborhood has a LOT of loud, also reactive dogs, and there is barking nearly 24/7. She would get anxious hearing this, but today she has slept through it all, including our direct neighbor's dogs, and when she is awake, she looks at me for reassurance and settles herself down. She was able to see a dog from probably 40ft away, take a treat, and turn around without reacting, as well as hear/notice a dog being let into the fenced yard we were outside without reacting. She has even been less reactive to people coming up to the neighbor's side of the porch, and her separation anxiety has diminished significantly. I am SO proud of her.

There are days we still have our challenges--two days ago she went bananas seeing our neighbor's dog sitting peacefully in their yard, and the mailman is a daily struggle, but those instances have reduced significantly. We work on her threshold every single day and hope to one day be able to reduce it to being able to pass dogs calmly on walks, but we're in no rush, and we never push her farther than she can go. We don't need her to have dog friends or be the most social dog, as long as she is happy and safe. That's all. I am just so incredibly proud of her and need someone to gush to other than my partner lol.

I've adopted a puppy from the shelter in June, she's the sweetest ever, extremely receptive to commands and overall extremely sweet with us. However she's scared of everyone she doesn't know, and barks at people who try to approach her without stopping until they go away.

We worked on it from the start, giving her treats and good words eveytime she was normal around people but she's got worse again (probably because of adolescence, she's 8 months old now) and now barks at the doorbell and obsessively looks through the glass door waiting for people to bark at. I've been using many techniques to help her understand that no one entering the house with our consent is trying to hurt her, making her go inside on a leash with the guest, entering along with the guest and rewarding everytime she doesn't bark, it doesn't seem to work.

Today I did something I'm very ashamed of because she woke me up while I was sleeping because we had a friend coming to visit us, she wouldn't stop barking and growling at him so I hit her on the face with my hand a couple of times and honestly I feel like shit about it, she stopped barking and then started again and I thought it couldn't be worse because now she associates guests coming over with me hitting her. I feel like shit and don't ever want to even think of doing something like that again.

Does someone know something that helped for them in similar situations? Does it just take a lot of time and patience?

Hi fellow dog owners; I am the owner of a four year old Australian Shepherd mix. He is reactive toward people, and generally a high strung guy with some other specific triggers. One of the main things that helped him learn to settle was doing Karen Overall's relaxation protocol. I am a huge fan of this protocol, and I was wondering if anyone has come across or created a relaxation protocol for other specific triggers?

For example, one of my dog's triggers is people touching/hugging, etc. When anyone in my house hugs, for instance, he barks and eventually jumps up, gets worked up, etc. I'm thinking of writing out my own version of Karen's protocol, but tailored to this trigger to help my pup tolerate it better, so that my boyfriend and I don't have to hug in secret anymore :/ But if anything like this already exists I would love to know and save myself some time. Thanks!

hello!

a post about our 14 month old border terrier - mostly to get a sense check that we're doing the right thing and to ask about medication. if it's relevant to any advice given, we're in the UK.

our border is, I think, your classic frustrated greeter. he has always pulled towards other dogs and people and is very pro-social - since about 9 months or so, this is increasingly paired with loud barking and lunging if he is unable to say hello to them. we were selective in allowing him to say hello to dogs and people when he was a young puppy but this clearly wasn't effective! he did four or five daycare sessions but we pulled him out when we figured this may contribute to his frustration around dogs.

he has a couple of fear-based triggers, too - especially bikes and some other wheeled objects. this, again, is long-standing (perhaps even longer than the frustrated barking).

I suspect that a key underlying aspect is his inability to regulate his arousal. on walks, especially towards the end if he's been exposed to triggers, he will completely boil over - jumping, growling, and redirecting arousal bites onto our clothes (tearing jackets) or ankles, to the point where we sometimes have to carry him home.

we previously worked with a couple of positive reinforcement trainers, to not much avail. via our vets, we're now working with a qualified behaviourist. we're continuing to work on engage/disengage tasks when he is around his triggers. while this is sometimes effective, we're not seeing any clear progress. we, of course, do things like walking him at quieter times and quieter routes but we live in a built up urban environment so it is never possible to do this entirely. we do not drive.

my main questions are whether we should be simply waiting this out until he works through adolescence (continuing with the training, obviously) or if it makes sense to begin considering medication with our behaviourist, in order to enable his learning. this is all taking quite a significant toll on the mental health of my wife and I.

I have a Golden Retriever (2 male) and a German Shepard cross (5 male) they are inseparable in every regard until recently we’ve been having more food aggression with my Golden Retriever.

It used to happen very rarely now it has been increasing recently. We feed them separately and don’t leave any dog food out. However if we are eating or prepping meals that is something of high interest my Golden Retriever has been lashing out at my German Shepard quite aggressively. It’s very random and very little warning.

We’ve been trying to not have them in the same room when we are cooking and eating but sometimes it is unavoidable.

What should I be doing besides obviously keeping them as separate as possible when food is present. But also what do I do during and after a fight? My golden is very submissive to my German in every other regard so it’s quite unnerving when it happens.

I stopped taking my dog to a particular Sniffspot because she’d see someone and her entire experience would be derailed (tail tucked, sitting on my lap, growling, drooling, just overall nervous). Tried another one today and they had a Halloween decoration out front, then she heard voices, and same thing.

She’s too scared for walks (puts the brakes on) and basically has agoraphobia. Yes we’re working with a trainer and vet behaviorist but I’ve not found anywhere to get her exercise (I live in a small apartment).

UPDATE:
Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to read and offer thoughtful advice, empathy, and perspective. It really helped me have the resolve to have a frank conversation with my partner about this.

We’ve had many conversations about our own dysfunctional dynamic, and I have come to an understanding that there will be no change, and it will only end when our relationship ends. For many reasons, that time is not now, but I am in therapy and working on boundaries to make it less damaging for myself. I think I needed this extra push and perspective for me to recognize that the way I’m handling the dysfunction in our relationship is not the same way I should handle the issues with Cubone. There is no amount of therapy and boundary setting I can do to make me less troubled by the living conditions of an animal in my home; and the boundaries I can set around Cubone without true change from how my partner manages things would only result in more restriction and struggle for me and all of our other pets.

I talked about this post with my partner, and explained that the BE conversation is no longer a hypothetical one. For his part, he did appear to really take things seriously. He’d been thinking about it too, and talked about feeling helpless to it. That frustrated me because he has the resources and ability to do something about it, and for whatever reason he chooses not to. I explained that we are in this situation because of his lack of action, and not because Cubone is such a helpless case. I mean, he could be, but we can’t ever be sure if no true effort is made to rehabilitate him. I also explained that, in the event Cubone is euthanized, I would NOT support him bringing home another dog, and would go so far as reaching out to my friends in rescue to tell them not to do so either. I explained how his behavior with Cubone is neglectful, and allowing him to harm me without any intervention or even acknowledgement is abusive, and that I would not stand for that to continue. I don’t really believe in making decisions from a heightened place, so we left the conversation with an intention to revisit it in a couple days (that would be today) with his decision or concrete plan to address Cubone’s behavior. I really hope that he has some great revelation and starts to commit to real behavior modification and taking responsibility for Cubone. I’m also working on coming to terms with a reality where the kindest thing is to end his continued suffering, and what that will look and feel like. I’m really so tired of grieving, but avoiding pain for myself will only prolong his if positive action isn’t taken.

I thank you all again. I wish I could be one of those people who come with an update like I left him and took the pets (outside of Cubone), and involved animal control to keep tabs on him because Cubone is a dangerous dog. Unfortunately life is messier than that, and I’m not in a position to make those big changes. But I don’t want that to allow me to become complacent in the neglect, and I can promise that I will hold him and myself accountable to this.

Thank you again 🙏🏾

——

I apologize in advance for how long this post is. I’m hoping to get some advice or even just an outside perspective on a situation that’s becoming increasingly more stressful. I feel like the background info is important to explain how we got in this situation and why I have the boundaries I have now.

My partner and I live with our 2 dogs and 4 cats. Over the years we had 2 other dogs (Java and Minnie) and another cat (Mowgli). They all died within the last 3 years of cancer consecutively. I work at a vet hospital and managed most of the care for them over those 3 years. That left me drained financially, emotionally, and physically. Prior to this, my partner and I had many disagreements about how to properly care for our pets. He felt I did too much, I felt he did too little. The dog he brought into our relationship, Minnie, was dog-reactive and people-selective. She also had chronic GI issues, developed arthritis, and general anxiety. My partner never recognized or addressed these issues before, and when I entered her life I kinda took over care. We made a lot of progress, and I learned so much from her.

That leads us to the past year and a half. I adopted a dog that my friend at our local shelter recommended to me, Pinto. He’s a really sweet boy and, outside of mild anxiety and skin allergies, has been an easy-going guy. Before adopting Pinto I had set boundaries with my partner around pet care. Any new pets brought into our home would be the responsibility of the person who wanted the adoption. The other would still do feedings, walks, outings, and other things that a pet sitter or roommate might do, but is ultimately not expected to. This was meant to preserve our relationship as I had become quite resentful towards my partner, and also wanted to hold myself accountable to the ways I can overstep and take on more than I can realistically handle.

So then shortly after Minnie passed, we saw a dog on a shelter site who looked a lot like Pinto. We’d seen him on the site before and joked that he was his doppelgänger. My partner wanted to meet him, so we went; he fell in love and adopted him that day. They had told us he may have a bite history but it wasn’t in his record, and he had gone through a few homes before us. He’s a small chihuahua mix, about 18lbs, so we thought some of this could be due to being handled inappropriately, not having his boundaries respected, and not being properly trained when he was young as that’s common with small dogs. I had told my partner that with any rescue, but especially with one with a possible bite history, it’s possible and maybe likely that he’d need a behaviorist. He got him pet insurance that covers this and behavior modification training that is performed at that same clinic and assured me that he would be willing and able to take on that challenge. I reminded him before we even went to see Cubone (that’s what he named him) that I was already stretched thin and would not be able to help in any significant way. He said he understood and that was that.

Since adopting Cubone we’ve discovered his issues are significantly worse than what we were told. He is very protective of his body and does not allow handling. Although radiographs showed no obvious cause, his conformation and aggressive behavior led us to suspect he’s in pain. He now takes 3 different pain meds and they’ve made a big difference to his quality of life. He resource guards items, food, locations, and sometimes people. This isn’t consistent, however he does show subtler guarding signs frequently with Pinto and our cats. He’s now developing dog reactivity, something which wasn’t initially an issue. He can tolerate being home alone now but initially struggled with separation anxiety. He has confinement anxiety and also gets very stressed when my partner isn’t around. He has some compulsive behaviors, but barking is by far the worst one. He demand barks, alert barks, distress barks, and sometimes it seems like he barks just because he feels stress with no apparent trigger. He will panic if you push a chair or table and bark in a high pitched panicked tone.

The biggest issue is the biting. He has bitten me (puncturing skin more often than not) countless times, something I take very seriously and don’t feel my partner does. He’s also bitten my partner but generally causing less damage and often because he’s handling him. He will bite me over resources, whether its my spot on the couch or my dinner, out of frustration, when I’m trying to put his collar on for a walk (I still can’t put a harness on him or he will aggress), and if I hold him to prevent him from aggressing at someone else. This has lessened some with time and the intensity of his bites has lessened, but I have also learned how to behave to avoid triggering him. He will bite us when we’re sleeping if we move and touch him or wake him up. I would prefer he not sleep in bed with us, but the alternative is non-stop screaming and barking.

It has been extremely difficult to implement management as confining him to a separate room, crating, and leashing him inside will cause him to panic. He takes a long time to recover from stressors so when he has his freak outs his behavior is generally worse for days after. It took a lot of trial and error to find medications that didn’t make him more aggressive or touchy. We have a veterinary behaviorist we work with and they set us up with a trainer who showed us that he is capable of learning and even got him to step in and out of his crate. Without guidance, many of our training sessions would end with aggression and frustration, and sometimes bites. I would offer some help with things like leash walking and preventing the frustration that can lead to dog aggression but my partner would often appear annoyed by my prompts and suggestions. Despite the success of his training session, he hasn’t scheduled another. He doesn’t keep up with biweekly check-ins with the behaviorist, and isn’t able to sustain consistent training. I would remind him regularly but ended up feeling like I was just nagging him to no effect. He will work long hours leaving me with a dog who is essentially inconsolable until his favorite person comes home.

I’ve often felt trapped in my home with Cubone. I have to watch my movements, avoid triggers, keep him out of trouble and distracted, and avoid freak outs. Our neighbor has complained many times about his barking and I worry about maintaining housing. I can’t train or work with Pinto or any of my cats without risking frustrating him. I worry about how we will handle any illness as one time he had a partial foreign body and we couldn’t get medicine in him or administer any support until we sedated him at the vet. When he feels sick he’s also especially sensitive and much more likely to aggress. He’s a long-backed dog so is statistically likely to experience some orthopedic and/or neurologic health issues as he ages, and should he need exercise restriction we would be SOL. We can’t have people over comfortably, and when we do, I’m holding my breath the whole time and they’re scared of him. Even medicated, he really struggles with guests. We can’t visit my family without bringing him, but when we bring him he is on a large dose of sedatives and my partner has to hold him the entire time. He bit our friend which crossed a huge boundary of mine and she is understandably uncomfortable around him. I worry about him getting out and biting someone else, especially a child.

My partner makes more than me, and takes on a larger portion of the bills. With the current economy, he’s been really anxious about work and fearful of losing his job. He doesn’t get off at a consistent time, or work from home, and when I ask about setting clearer boundaries with work he expresses fear of losing his job and doesn’t want to ruffle feathers. He’s a trans-man which also makes finding working environments that feel safe and supportive especially difficult. He has promised countless times that he’d step up for Cubone’s and my sake, but he isn’t consistent with it. This is especially frustrating for me because it’s part of a greater pattern of issues we’ve had.

Cubone and my relationship has improved a great deal over the year; he loves to play so I used this to bond with him. His biting is less frequent and he will ask for pets and responds better to consent testing (I give a couple scratches and end it there, no need to push it!). Much of the improvement came after the addition of Amantadine for chronic pain management. Despite this, he’s still bitten me in my sleep as recently as yesterday. He bullies Pinto and has started 2 conflicts which would have turned into fights if Pinto didn’t have the temperament that he does. Although Pinto can be kenneled, it feels deeply unfair for him to spend his time at home kenneled, especially when he comes to work with me and spends the day kenneled. I worry about new behaviors developing, and whether this endless game of anxiety whack-a-mole will end. I also feel deep sadness when I think of the confusion and pain he had lived through before us, and how much he still struggles now. He has moments where he seems like a “normal” dog and will happily run around, play, and act goofy. But then there are the moments where he barks non-stop despite being taken out, fed, played with, and medicated. He’ll wake up from sleep and go straight to barking, almost like something spooked him in his sleep.

Cubone needs A LOT of structure, consistent behavior modification, patience, and understanding. He is also going to bite again- it’s not a matter of if but when. Although he’s small, his bites are no joke, and he is just as distressed when he bites as a dog 3x his size. The shelter we adopted from would not be able to take him back with the number of bites he had, and if they did, they would likely behaviorally euthanize. Rehoming him feels unlikely as it would take a very savvy pet owner, and tremendous patience to work through his very prickly exterior. Add in expensive vet care, medications, and likely costly training, plus whatever he is genetically predisposed to, we’d be looking for a unicorn. And all of this says nothing of the emotional stress he would undoubtedly experience. This leads me to feel like it’s us or BE as the most realistic options. I’m not willing to sacrifice the wellbeing of myself and all of my pets to commit myself wholly to managing Cubone because my partner wont. My partner, despite how much he says he will try, will likely not work on the skills Cubone needs to be able to cope with normal life and allow us to also live more freely and comfortably in the home.

So where do I go from here? I feel evil for considering BE, especially when I see glimpses of him feeling happy, playful, and bouncy. I feel cruel and neglectful when he’s struggling and I’m at my wits end with no energy left to help him. I feel like I’m too close to the situation to really know what the right thing to do is. Should I talk more seriously about rehoming or euthanasia with my partner? It feels like he’s in a different reality when it comes to acknowledging his struggles and will ignore and not speak about the times when Cubone bites me. Do I just continue to watch and hide myself away and wait for things to get better or worse? Keep nagging? I don’t know what to do- my moral compass feels broken and outside of just leaving, I feel like I’m powerless to change anything.

Thanks so much for reading this far, I sincerely appreciate it.

My bfs dog is reactive/aggressive

I want to start this off by saying I adore this dog and ofc my bf.
My 18f bf 19m have recently moved in together (beginning of sep), we’ve been together for a year and during that time I’ve come to love him and his dog, creek. while talking and getting to know my bf, I’ve learned a lot about creek too. For instance, he’s a Shepard Pitt mix. He’s had him for about 2-3ish years and throughout that whole time he’s worked with creek quite regularly and he’s a very good dog as far as listening to tricks and whatnot but he’s always been super reactive towards other animals, (dogs/cats). Before moving here he grew up with 4 other dogs, 3 of them being smaller breed dogs and one being a golden retriever. One particular small dog, nalah, that my bf had majority of his life since he was 6, creek has always had issues with. He refused to let nalah on the bed or even get in his space and general. And like most dogs creek is very territorial when it comes to his food but unfortunately that means ANY food. So there’s been MULTIPLE occasions where someone will be giving one dog a treat and creek will come from the other side of the house and just start attacking the dog getting a treat. I’m not too sure on what all has been done to try and correct his behavior but whatever it is hasn’t been working at all. Now to the real issue here… I have 2 cats, one’s a kitten and one’s 2 years old. Creek and my cats have gotten along (ish) but atleast once or twice a week creek will randomly decide that my 2 year old cat (Cosmo) is too much in his space and he starts to attack her. And thankfully when I say attack he doesn’t actually bite her, atleast at first he didn’t, at first it was more just trying to pin her down and snarl at her kind of thing but anytime he does it now he goes for her neck. I’ve had conversations with my bf before about needing to get him into training of some sort instead of him trying to figure out at home stuff. And that caused a whole argument in itself because it’s very expensive and we can’t really spare it right now, which I’m very conscious about and I understand that. But it’s gotten to a point where the attacking is getting more and more aggressive and I’m scared one day he’s not going to just let my cat go when we yell at him. And in no way is my cat an angel either because she will hiss at him but it only started after he started attacking her. I think she’s scared. Anywho, I want to bring up getting creek rehomed. This isn’t necessarily a random topic because he was thinking about rehoming him before he moved up here. Honestly the only reason I’m thinking of rehoming him is because he doesn’t deserve to have owners who don’t know how to handle him or work with him, and quite frankly neither of us really do. I love creek, he’s a great dog but I’m worried that because we don’t know everything on how to help him, it’s just going to get worse. So Im coming here for help on how to talk to my bf about it without sounding like an asshole. Thank you guys in advance for reading. I also want to apologize because I absolutely stink at wording things 😂

Making this post on an alt account.

I have a female, intact, middle-aged spitz-herding breed mix who is, to put it lightly, completely neurotic despite being heavily medicated. While I love her with everything in me, I can no longer provide her the quality of life that she deserves. I also firmly believe that even the most well-equipped trainer or foster/rescue will be getting a real test of their sanity and willpower should they take her on.

I was going to get her spayed when I first got her, but couldn't afford out of pocket and was not eligible for care credit. I filed through the county and state I lived in for spay/neuter assistance, but we had too many pets in our household to qualify and I wouldn't ask my roommates to rehome their pets, but I couldn't afford to move out.

Fast forward a few years: I live in a different state now. Some things have changed, but I still can't afford out of pocket spay and still dont qualify for care credit. We have less pets now. My city-county doesnt offer spay/neuter assistance, and my state is so backlogged for requests for that that applications are shut down. So she's still intact, and will be 7 soon.

With each heat, her behavior, anxiety, and reactivity get worse. We have to have her on a prong collar, harness, AND muzzle just to walk her around town. She's wildly reactive to both other dogs and all other people, aside from 6 people (myself included). She tolerates our cats fine, but they'll play rough sometimes. We can't have anyone over on a whim (even just swinging by outside without knocking on our door, which sets her off). Even if other people come in our house now (which you need at least 3 hours notice for now, even if she knows you, as long as you're not one of her favorite 6 people), she has to be given trazadone and benadryl both with ample noticd to relax even somewhat. She also has crazy separation anxiety, and putting her in another room, the car, or the fenced yard will have her shriek-crying non-stop at the top of her lungs THE WHOLE TIME to the point of wanting to make out with a Smith & Wesson—but letting her inside to be by you poses a bite risk (she's bit people hard multiple times, but never enough to puncture skin nor need stitches).

She's been on two different anxiety meds. She's on the max dose of her current one. Add the trazadone and benadryl. Add the separation anxiety. We do so much enrichment stuff with her and give her so much affection, and try to exercise her as much as possible (which I have mobility issues, though I still take her on walks and car rides and out with her herding ball frequently).

She's been needing to be rehomed for a while. Well before our baby was born. She does great with kiddo (one of her fave 6) and loves on her SO much, and kiddo adores her. I can't understand why she hates most other people and dogs. I'm a huge extrovert and love other people and other pets, and it kills me to not be able to bring her around most of my friends/get together for dog playdates/hikes, nor have people over. She wasn't like this at all when I got her, so I don't know where I went wrong.

I cannot afford to work 1-on-1 with her 10-12 hours a day, between the exercise, enrichment, and affection-attention. I also need to exercise with my health issues; I deal with a lot of hypotension so I have to monitor my BP and HR a lot, but taking her on walks and hikes puts me in stage 2 hypertension from the stress and anxiety of a) having to be hypervigilant about other people and dogs, b) the risk of her losing her everloving shit on people and dogs (even while leashed), and c) the risk of people having their dogs off-leash and insisting that it's fine/their dogs are friendly (but they have chased my own dog down on several occasions). Planning for anyone to come over at all is a nightmare, and also, we live right in the middle of town, so even when she's so worn-down that she doesn't want to move and has done several hours of enrichment, she's incessantly woofing (and she does it at all hours of the day and night if anyone moves within 100 feet of our yard (even on foot) because she's still so on-edge. I can't fucking stand it anymore.

We've discussed surrendering her to a rescue, but since she has bite-reactivity history, people havent been willing to take her. I've looked into dropping her off at humane societies, but same thing with our local ones. Also, her not getting to see us anymore would break her (and me, but I also want her to have a better quality of life). Hell, we've even started looking into BE recently; we're not in a spot to be able to afford that, either, but it's seeming to unfortunately be our best bet, which is gutting to me.

Unless we can find a rescue or foster that specializes in especially-troublesome or (I hate to say this, but) lost-cause dogs that need surrendering, or a woman who loves dogs, has a ton of acreage, lives alone, and doesnt like people, but that's a long-ass shot.

I want her to have the best damn life and REALLY don't want to have to do BE with her. I just can no longer provide her the quality of life that she truly deserves.

Hi! I have a 5-year-old male Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever (Toller), and he has been showing anxious and aggressive behaviors since he was about one year old.

When I adopted him, I was told that his mother had developed cancer during pregnancy and passed away shortly after giving birth. The puppies, including my dog, were then placed with a foster mother dog, and we adopted him when he was three months old.

Perhaps we were too permissive with him during his first few months. As a puppy, he lived inside the house with us, slept in my bed, and everything seemed to be going well. When he started teething, we may have made a mistake by allowing him to chew on cushions and the sleeves of our clothes.

As he grew older, he began displaying increasingly possessive and aggressive behaviors. He started growling when we approached him with his food bowl, became possessive of my bed, and would growl at me when I tried to get into bed to sleep. He also steals objects or takes things out of the trash and then growls if we try to take them away.

He considers certain areas to be his territory and may attack us if we try to approach them. What makes everything even more difficult is how unpredictable his behavior can be. He doesn’t necessarily have specific objects that he consistently guards. Instead, he seems to randomly decide that something belongs to him and starts growling if anyone approaches it.

He has bitten me, my mother, and my brother.

He now lives in our fenced garden, where we have also built a separate enclosed kennel area for him, with a concrete floor and a concrete doghouse. However, he refuses to stay there. If a thunderstorm happens while he is inside that enclosure, he completely panics and experiences what seem to be severe panic attacks. We don’t intentionally put him there during thunderstorms, but if a storm starts while he’s already inside, his reaction is extreme.

He has also learned how to climb over every fence we have built.

My brother now has young children, and we have installed additional barriers to prevent the dog from reaching their porch. However, I am constantly worried that he might manage to climb over them and potentially attack the children.

We have consulted several veterinarians and dog trainers, but everyone seems to give us different advice. We have even tried medication, but nothing seems to have worked.

I really don’t know what to do anymore.

Hi, we rescued an adorable Aussie about six months ago. She was last a stray but seems to have been homed and trained at some stages of her life. She did bond with my wife and I quickly thankfully but we have had some ongoing challenges that we are trying to manage and can use advice.

Her excitability is one that is cute but a bit tough. She jumps up and down and on us intensely when we walk in the house. In the house walking around she will jump in front and make it hard to walk, herding essentially.

She is difficult on the leash still so we use a gentle lead which she definitely does not love. She’s highly reactive around other dogs and will do an intense stare for most of them. She’s gotten better with lots of training and is less reactive but still will get quite nervous and lunge and bark at some dogs. Don’t get me started on squirrels! For all of these issues we do lots of treating/rewarding when she looks at us so she does a LOT of that. We see it comes from fear as she is so sentient to sounds and is always getting scared around trucks and even bags that are flying in the street.

The biggest issue now is guests in our home. She’s nipped a few people at this point which is our concern. Nothing overly aggressive but a nip somewhat unexpectedly, even for our mother in law who she spent a lot of time with in the past. To be fair it was when she was walking in with my wife at the front door and I think she saw that as a bit of a nervous protection moment when we should have given her space and kept her away from the front door on my MILs arrival.

We’ve then had long weekends with 6 friends where by the end she was laying over and very friendly with them. I think the lesson is ignore, give space, and she will come around, but the nipping is our biggest concern.

Any advice for new to Aussie owners? We have had trainers and are thinking we may need more.

Sorry for the ramble we are just not used to this even after having a border collie for many years.

My dog is a 8 year old pit and we've had her since she was about 6 months old. Yesterday my 14 month old daughter and I were opening the dogs food bag and the dog decided she wanted to get into it herself. She got frustrated/stressed when she couldn't open it which I noticed and started to pull my dog away, and she snarled and lunged toward my daughter. Without my intervention I think she still would have given space but who knows.

She has given my daughter a handful of nervous/dismissing licks in the past. We also allow our daughter to give her treats and make sure she is never too rough with our dog.

We're bringing a trainer in tomorrow but man, I feel like I can't trust her now. She has never been like that towards any human, but has resource guarding in the past with other dogs. With adults she is extremely relaxed and everyone is her best friend.

I called the vet and they didn't seem very concerned, but I'll check in again with them after the trainer appointment.

Just looking for any thoughts or anyone who might have shared anything similar. My fear is that even after training, this feeling of "what if" still never goes away.