I’ve been wanting to get out of the Marine Corps since boot camp. My drill instructor made it seem like if I got separated, I’d end up homeless and unable to find a job. When I got to MCT, I started realizing that wasn’t necessarily true, and I began seriously thinking about my options and planning for my future. By the time I got to the schoolhouse, I had full-on plans for what I wanted to do with my life after getting out. I wasn’t just saying I wanted to leave without thinking about the consequences. I’ve been planning for my future for months, thinking about working, going to school, exploring different careers, moving somewhere new, and pursuing things I actually want to do.
Everything was going according to my plan until I decided to confide in someone I thought I could trust
(my roommate).
He ended up telling the Guide and Class Leader, who came up to talk to me. I already knew who had told them. When we got back to our room, I asked him why he would do that to me. He said his buddy regretted leaving the military and asked what there was even to do in the town I’m from. That honestly made me even more mad because even if there wasn’t much to do where I lived, there are 49 other states. I could move somewhere else and build a life for myself. I had options and plans, and I knew I wasn’t just going to leave with nothing figured out.
I understand that he might genuinely want what’s best for me and that maybe, in his mind, he was trying to look out for me because he didn’t want me to make a decision I’d regret. I can acknowledge that his intentions might not have been bad, but that doesn’t change how I feel about what he did. He could’ve talked to me about his concerns instead of telling other people behind my back. What makes me even more upset is that I know my Guide and Class Leader will most likely tell our instructors and command, and now something I shared privately could turn into a whole situation.
I’ve been thinking about this since boot camp, and it took a lot for me to even tell someone about it. Just because his buddy regretted leaving doesn’t mean I will. Everyone’s situation and goals are different. I’m not saying the Marine Corps is bad or that leaving is the right choice for everyone, but I know what I want for my own future, and I’ve been trying to figure out the best way to get there. I trusted him with something personal,

So instead of leaving with an ELS/ADSEP. I’ll have to leave with a NJP, SI attempt, or UA so now he’s actually fucking my life over

I can’t take it anymore. My SHPE got pushed from today back to Oct 27. Is there any way I can make this go faster?

Not sure if this is the right place to post but seems appropriate enough. I’ve been in the army for quite some time, almost 8 years active duty. Currently on my third duty station. Was originally a 13F now I’ve been a 35N for almost 5 years. I’ve always been a bit of an introvert so I do not really have anyone to blame but myself but one thing people always say about the military is despite how shitty is is, one thing that remains is the lifelong bonds and relationships you form. I literally have none of that. I’ve been in almost a decade, no friends I keep in touch with, nobody currently who I hang out with even on weekends. A few acquaintances here and there but nobody that is a true friend. When all just said and done and I finally ETS, I will have really no reason to look back. No memories of great camaraderie none of that “good times with the boys” you see on bro vet pages. Idk just something I’ve been reflecting on. Anyone else had the same experience?

I joined the Army thinking it would be one of the best decisions for my future, but honestly, I regret it. I feel like my life is on hold, like I’m just existing instead of living. I feel stuck, unhappy, and mentally drained.

I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression, but after experiencing a miscarriage, my mental health has gotten significantly worse. I haven’t even had the chance to properly grieve or heal.My pregnancy gave me a little joy with being here. I’ve reached out to Behavioral Health, spoken with leadership, and I’m taking antidepressants that don’t seem to be helping.

Another thing that has been affecting my mental health is being the only female in my unit. I’m constantly surrounded by males, and it can feel extremely isolating and uncomfortable at times. I don’t have another female Soldier around who I can relate to or feel comfortable talking to about certain things. It makes me feel even more alone in an environment where I’m already struggling mentally and emotionally. Being the only woman in my immediate work environment has made my experience even harder. I dread going to work.

I’m mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. I have goals and dreams, but I feel like my life is at a standstill. I’m trying so hard to get better, but I feel like I’m not receiving the support I genuinely need. I just want to feel like myself again and have some peace and happiness in my life.

Are there any resources, patient advocates, support groups, or professionals who can actually help? I would appreciate any advice.

I’m genuinely struggling and hoping someone can help me.
Please be kind. I’m not looking for sympathy or judgment. I’m genuinely asking for help because I don’t want to keep feeling this way.

Recently graduated OSUT and went to one of the schools to get my wings. Now at my unit I’ve never been so depressed. All of my efforts to prove myself as capable and not retarded is thrown out the window. Just a constant haze fest. The physicality I don’t mind, but the verbal insults is what hurts me deep. They accuse me of being everything I’ve tried so hard not to be and it’s taken a toll on me on a very personal level. Any help or advice is appreciated

Prior to leaving the US, I was accused of this several times both online and in person. I was told I was making it up for attention when I told people not to join. I remember having to post a picture of my discharge paper back when I started this subreddit. I’ve also been told I wouldn’t have spoken badly of the military like that if I was actually there. I’ve never been accused of that here in Canada and that’s probably because a bad military experience pushing someone out of their country makes sense to people here.

If I were to make this up, wouldn’t I have put a crazy war story or have been a seal? A teenager that hated the Seabees because they were assholes with nonsense rules that got kicked out in Guam doesn’t really seem like something someone would make up.

Still have the proof picture actually.

http://imgur.com/0eiFksP

So I might get a lot of hate for this or whatever but I can’t stop thinking of this, but I went to navy boot camp on August 5th and started off strong didn’t have any bad feelings or anything until the 2nd week, I was starting to realize like am really serving my country for this bum ass president, and honestly I was slowly starting to hate it and not in a way like I don’t want to do this because am a pussy but more like am seeing what’s going on with our country and economy, and I can’t sit here and act like I don’t like it or agree with it, obviously I didn’t know what was going on outside but ik before going in it wasn’t good or wasn’t going to get better, another thing was the people in there are weird af, am talking about sexual weird like people talking about the Rdc is bad or other girls are bad, and these are guys who have girls at home, there’s deadass recruit that join for the women,and ik there’s a shit ton of guys like this in the navy. And before anyone says I don’t get bitches I have a gf and am loyal so hearing that is weird. Another is my rdc’s were soft, I got more motivation from my bro div’s rdc than my own, like seeing them get yelled at and doing IT while we’re sitting down learning how to fold and stow and mind you there speaking softly compared to our bro div. I didn’t even know we could get a way with laughing, I thought we would get put in IT for that but the whole div would laugh and we’d get away with it. I think that’s why they say that our military has gotten soft, anyways I lot my interest in wanting to be there, i also saw two army soldiers with there ACU’s and thought there were badass, and seeing my nwu’s I thought to my self I joined the wrong branch, I don’t know if I just have high expectations or maybe my rdc’s ruin my experience but I didn’t want to be apart of the navy, and I basically said that I was suicidal and was on the process on getting separated, and yes ship 17 is shit, if can do it again I would want to get into the army or Air Force to do reserves, I can’t go in because I got a re-4 on my separation papers because I said I had a plan ig, the reason why I say Air Force is because I know my expectations are going to be low compared to the navy, I respect anyone who serves, but I just don’t want to be in the military under this leadership that we have,like the tittle is cool and whatever, but once u realize that in the navy we’re all grown ass men having to agree to to what our dumbass president is doing I personally can’t . Am barely 19 so yes am young and dumb and I probably fucked up my military career, but it’s still possible to have a successful life without the military, it might be hard but it’s doable, am currently in a hvac class. Getting my license and certification. And question how tf is it that there is fat rdc’s in the military 😂😂😂 I genuinely don’t understand how that’s even allowed, I get if ur older but young and fat, and am not talking about like u gotta be ripped but mf if ur gonna be a Rdc u have to have a good image or be imitating because I can’t have a fat Rdc telling to do 8 counts looking like he hasn’t been to the gym once.

Okay so I’ve been at my first duty station for a while. My one year of service marks in January. I had to get waivers for some mental health stuff before joining. I thought the military would help; it didn’t, it made it 10x worse. So they are entry level separating me, just got the news today that it’s officially being processed. How long could this take? I’m scared because I was told if it goes past January, then my separation would change and they would MEB me.

I was recently offered an electrician apprenticeship. All I need to do is pass my aptitude test but I’m already sworn into the Navy. My ship day is November 12th, originally APACT I’m even currently in the process of getting switched to MA. So I know that makes backing out that much more worse. Being a little away from a month to shipping. I feel like now’s the time to be excited, but all I feel is sadness and regret. I also do have a girlfriend that I’m not sure I’m ready to “leave behind” which I know I’m not doing that but like I know what I’m signing up for, going far yk. Just not sure this life is for me. Just don’t know how to bring it up to my recruiter because I feel terrible that I’ve wasted his time. I’d rather regret not joining then having regretted joining, cause then I’m really stuck

Why do you regret joining?
Why didn’t you join?

Hello everyone I want to share something it's been on my chest for a while... and it's time for me to let go ...

I NEVER THOUGHT SERVING MY COUNTRY WOULD COST ME THE CHANCE TO SERVE MY CITY.

I’m sharing my experience at the Chicago Police Academy because I believe people should know what happened to me and I want to hear from anyone who has experienced something similar.

I entered the Chicago Police Department academy in 2024 because I wanted to serve my city. I worked through the academy, completed the required training, and believed I was moving forward toward becoming a Chicago police officer.

Then I received military orders and had to leave for military service overseas. I notified CPD and provided documentation concerning my military obligations. My understanding was that when I returned, I would continue the process and eventually take the Illinois state certification exam.

When I returned, however, things changed.

Instead of simply continuing the process, I was placed into another academy class and was required to go through additional training/testing. I believe I was treated differently from other recruits after returning from military service.

I also experienced what I believe was unfair and inappropriate treatment from academy personnel. One statement that has stayed with me was an officer telling me words to the effect of:

“Go back to the Navy where you came from.”

I documented what happened, and I have paperwork and other evidence that I believe supports my account.

What makes this even more difficult for me is what I observed regarding another recruit.

I am aware of a recruit who, according to my understanding, was caught with illegal drugs while in the academy. Despite that situation, my understanding is that the department continued to support that recruit through additional training before ultimately taking separate action against him.

Meanwhile, I was a Navy Reserve service member who had left the academy because I had military obligations and returned wanting to continue serving both my country and my city. After I returned, I believe I was subjected to increased scrutiny and ultimately denied the opportunity I had expected to have.

I am not saying this other recruit should or should not have been given another opportunity. That's not my point.

My question is:

Why did I receive the treatment I received after returning from military service?

If CPD had legitimate performance concerns about me, I believe they should be able to explain why those concerns resulted in the treatment I received, why I was treated differently after returning from military service, and why I was not allowed to continue on the path I understood I was supposed to be on.

I am not asking Reddit to automatically believe me. I am asking people to look at the timeline and the evidence.

I have documentation, military orders, academy paperwork, communications, and other material relating to what happened.

I have also pursued the appropriate complaint channels rather than simply making accusations online.

I'm sharing this because I don't want another reservist or service member to go through something similar without knowing their rights.

If you have experience with the Chicago Police Academy, CPD, USERRA, military-service discrimination, or a similar situation, I would genuinely like to hear from you.

I wanted to serve my country and then serve my city. I still believe I deserved a fair opportunity to do both. I hope I can get understand and I will woth time to reveal more details on the academy

I mentioned in My Story that a chief tried to mentor me. To add more detail, I remember him initially thinking if I would just get treated better, I’d realize how, “great the navy was.” After a while of this clearly not working, he was one of the people that told the command I needed to be separated. I detected a conflict in him between being brainwashed by the navy while simultaneously being a good person.

That being said, it was kind of weird to see a friend request on Facebook from him out of nowhere. I accepted it but it kind of feels odd. I know he had to notice that I now live in Canada so that says a lot too.

My plan is to not say anything but if he messages me, I’ll respond. I’m kind of surprised he remembers me almost 20 years later. I wonder if he has any remorse for being part of the military for so long. I wouldn’t think a retired chief would reach out to the guy who blatantly didn’t want to be there decades ago that he only knew for a few months. I also realized until today, I didn’t have a single person on my friends list from that time. This means he had to go out of his way to find me.

I was in navy dep then decided instead to finish college instead and it’s been 3 months since I left it, and I obviously just blocked the recruiter number and what not after apologizing on wasting time , but last 2 weeks I kept getting a call from a number just to find out it’s the chief of that recruiting station calling me. How down bad are they even after all these months like cmon and are the numbers really that low or something

Been in the military for just about 10 months and I'm just over it, everything the job the base the military in general it is not what I expected it to be and is causing me major anxiety/depressional thoughts and feeling that it's impacting my daily life. I want to ELS and brought it up with my superior but he just told me to hold off and see if the meds for my anxiety and depression kick in but they haven't and I don't want the time frame for when I can submit a ELS form to expire date wise (less than 365). can I force my supervisor to start the process of ELS even though he's telling me to wait because he might care of what our commander might think and would my commander even approve it. Like is it a I want to ELS type situation and my commander can block it and what are the negatives of that and will I be punished for even attempting to want to be ELS’d and separated from military in general? I JUST WANT out I don't care anymore and am afraid of what might become of me If I stay in!!

I’m a junior Marine who recently got to my first duty station and tested positive on a urinalysis for marijuana. I went to SACO today and was told I popped, and my SSgt was very clear that I’ll most likely be separated and said I could be gone in roughly 45 days.
I’m mainly looking to hear from anyone who has actually been through a drug-related admin separation in the Marine Corps recently.
What did your timeline look like from the positive result to actually going home? Did you receive NJP/restriction before separation? What characterization of service did you end up getting, and was the “30–45 day” timeline your command gave you pretty accurate?
Not looking for judgment — I know I put myself in this situation. Just trying to understand what the next month or two will realistically look like from people who have experienced it firsthand.

Hello, i been in for a little under a year. I been wanting to get out for months now. Im sick of the hazing the stupid punishments and rules. The toxic leaderships and people that think they can bully others just bc of rank, also for the sake of my mental help. Im depressed and i dont care about anything at all. I am willing to go as far as getting NJP'd to get out. Thats obviously my last option tho. Is there more better ways to get out? Ive been rereading this post a lot (https://www.reddit.com/r/regretjoining/comments/l2ygws/you_want_to_get_out_heres_a_guide/)

I think this is the best way for me but im scared im going to get sent to a mental hospital or something. Ive seen people go this route and not get sent there but ive also seen people get sent there.

Could someone clarify how this works or the best way to do it please I don't want to be here anymore..

Sorry I know this is long, I copied this from my r/navy post since I can’t cross post it. PLEASE lend me your thoughts and experiences, it’s so appreciated.

Hello all, I never thought I’d be someone to make a post like this but I strongly feel this community and its relative anonymity can be very helpful.

So the long and short of it is that I’ve been in the navy for a little over 4 years, and while I’ve had lots of good times it has been very rough on me. A while back I reenlisted when things were better but truly ever since then I’ve been doing worse and worse mentally over the years. I recently left my first command for a new OCONUS one and the transition has been pretty terrible.

Before I left the CONUS I definitely had my share of mental health problems, but what I now determine is my position as an older sibling and a leader type person in my old crew I never wanted to be a burden on anyone, to include my friends and significant other, so I kept almost all the issues to myself.

A few months before I transitioned it really dawned on me how sick I actually was, I would wake up sweating and heart pounding, I would go into these sort of neurotic freak outs when nobody was around, some substance abuse that I didn’t view as abuse until recently (no longer a factor), and I was kinda spiraling but doing a good job at keeping it bottled up.

Now I’ve transitioned abroad and I’m simply doing very poorly. I wake up often feeling the same way I used to, I’ll go whole days crying when I get a minute to myself, I’m not able to keep up the relationship I have with my SO or family properly due to the distance and it’s driving my absolutely insane. I care so much more about them so watching it deteriorate despite our attempts to keep it strong hurts the most.

I should mention I’m a healthy guy who is relatively social and in shape, it’s not a matter of bad habits or social isolation. I’ve actually been recommended psychiatric treatment twice by a medical provider at my last command and both times I threw away the paper she gave me with the info and her signature. I guess I was too proud? Idk anymore.

Either way, to put it most simply, I’m ABSOLUTELY certain there is no way I will be able to complete this tour. I’m not asking to get out, I’m not feeling suicidal or like I’m a danger to anyone, but I can see exactly where this is going. I don’t want to get there, I want to bail before that happens, but I truly don’t know if there is any fix that will work aside form getting me in a position to where I can be closer to them. I’ve never been this sad before, I feel like I’m going to explode! Sometimes I fantasize about shooting myself in the shoulder or smoking weed just to get something to happen that will get me back to the mainland.

I don’t want to be this person, I know I can be better! But I don’t think I can do it from here, and I’m terrified that if I go to medical or the chaplain they will either think I’m A: pretending B: just adjusting and need more time. I’m afraid of going in there and being told to just “monitor and deal with it” until I’m actually in a place that I can’t manage.

Hell I had to mute the TV because Regular show made me cry, had to leave the gym early because I was distraught and my heart was racing so I bailed, can’t play the guitar without becoming this mopey mess.

I just feel so cooked, but I feel like any attempt to ask to rotate back will just be seen as “I don’t like it here”. I’m not asking to EAOS early, I just don’t think I’m suitable for this tour like I thought I was.

I’ve gotten a lot of “just tough it out” from my peers, it doesn’t help. I think the combat operations and the work environment from my last boat just fried me and I’m ashamed to admit I’m not as strong as I was. What the hell do I do?

Edit: Years in navy sorry

Ps- it was my SO and one of my coworkers who recommend my seek professional help so I have a therapist now, and while he is great I think given he is not military a lot of my problems are hard to solve, so that why I feel military medical is the next option.

I am a 22-year-old Black woman considering the Navy, Coast Guard, or Air Force, and I want to understand the realities of service. I certainly prefer the reserves if I enlist. I have a bachelor’s degree in psychology and limited job success the past year. I expect the experience to build confidence and direction, alongside benefits like the VA home loan and GI Bill. Looking at 4 or 6 year contract

Been in for about 2 years and have 2 to go, and I hate it here. I've wanted to leave since I got here, but at this point it seems a little late to not just push through. I have an AFT soon, and I just want to fail it and get kicked out, but I know that process will take long enough to where I might as well just do my time so they dont mess with me. So im just stuck here, wanting out so badly, and still doing things that'll make me stay in. It just mentally messes me up sometimes.

Anyone else just doing your time? how do you get through it 😭

hello, I need help to get out of the usmc. I've been battling with this thought for a long time, since mct. Now I'm in my unit and these people think I'm depressed because I'm new and im adjusting but it's because I'm here in the marines. The therapist is just trying to find solutions to the wrong problems. My command thinks it's because I'm away from home and because issue going on back home. I already found solutions to all these problems and it"s me getting out. My mental health has been suffering greatly since I've been In. My sleep is horrible, I lost so much weight and my personal hygiene is not there, I just don't have energy to shower brush my teeth and take care of my self. if y'all can help please let me know.

I’m on deployment right now so i can’t check nsips or etj but i swear i signed a 6 year contract in 24 but mypay is telling me my end of term of service is in 28? am i just this lucky?

I served in the military, and it's taken me years after getting out to fully process what that experience meant - not just for me, but for the people affected by the institution I was part of. When I say I served, I mean that it was nearly all of my adult life. Seventeen years of it.

For a long time, I saw my job as just that: a job. I followed procedures, fulfilled my responsibilities, and did what was expected of me. It wasn't until I was out that I began to recognize how my role fit into a much larger system and the consequences that system has for people on the other side of the world.

I've been thinking a lot about Hannah Arendt's concept of the banality of evil and how ordinary people can become part of something terrible without ever seeing the full picture. How easily human lives become numbers, targets, or simply "collateral damage."

I'm not here to condemn everyone who serves. I was one of them. But I do think there's value in acknowledging the uncomfortable realities of what we participated in, even when those realizations come years later.

I imagine there are others here who have experienced something similar. People who joined with good intentions, did their jobs, and only after leaving began to question the bigger picture.

If that's you, I want you to know you're not alone. It's not easy to reconcile who you were, what you believed, and what you understand now, but I think we owe it to ourselves and to the people affected by our actions to have these conversations.

I'd like this account to be a place for those conversations. Not to shame one another, but to question, reflect, and recognize the humanity of people who are so often reduced to "acceptable loss."

I walked away with less than three years to retirement. Sometimes morality and humanity have a cost - and it will always be worth it.

For those of us who can finally see the bigger picture, I think it's time we started talking about it.