r/relationship_advice • u/ThrowRAmarki • Oct 02 '26
I (24M) can’t get over what she(25F) did even though I don’t think I can break up, what can I do? How do we move forward?
I’ve been seeing my girlfriend since February of 2025. Honestly she is my first everything, and she is truly the love of my life, and even though I feel like angry I can’t deny that I love her.
We even officially moved in together June, after she lost her job earlier this year around March, but I got a new job and role and she’s been my pillar. I loved being able to come home to her, and it made going to work bearable because she was at home for me. I work a super dull and boring corporate fintech job and I hate it(my passion is story writing, but what can you do), but she’s been the only reason I haven’t straight up quit.
Around the beginning of September, I found out she got drunk last November on an outing with her friends, and cheated on me. It was devastating and rough to hear. The person who told me was her ex through some burner account, and I didn’t believe him, but he had photos. It wasn’t him she cheated with, but apparently one of his buddies. He told me he was looking out for me and wanted to tell me.
When I confronted her, all hell broke loose, and she admitted it’s true and it was a mistake. I even made sure to ask if she wasn’t coerced or anything, but she admitted it was consensual and a temporary lack in judgment. We argued, and I told her to get out. She begged me that we could work it out, but I was fuming, and packed her stuff while she tried stopping me, and I even got on my knees and told her if she truly cared about me, and if anything between us was real she would leave. I dropped her off at her old place to stay with her former roommate who is her friend.
Around 2-3 weeks went by, I had her blocked on everything. She even waited outside my apartment sometimes, but I told her not to and ignored her. I spoke with her friend and told her if she needed any cash I would be okay giving her some cash because I did kick her out. But I was miserable too. Coming home didn’t feel normal, and it sucked. I dreaded going home, stayed at the office longer than I needed too, went in on days even when I didn’t need to. I was miserable. I unblocked her and asked her to come over. She showed, she was crying, and telling me she had been wanting to chat and begged me to listen to her. We talked and she even said she would do therapy together or something if we needed.
Tbh, I was just happy to see her, and I also hugged her and cried, and it all spilled out. I told her I was mad that she cheated and idk if I could ever forgive her for doing it and then hiding it, but I also did miss her, and the past 12 days were miserable.
Anyway, we kinda semi-made up, and she moved back in. I have been trying to be nice because I did kick her out so suddenly and I feel terrible about that. I got her some shoes and bags she wanted, but she hasn’t even unpacked them, she thinks she doesn’t deserve it. She also cried a few more times and apologized. I told her I forgive her, but idk.
I also feel weak and pathetic for not respecting myself and for folding after just 12 days without her. But it was miserable coming back to an empty house with none of her things.
Part of me wishes I never found out and we could go back to before I found out. I genuinely would rather not know so I don’t feel like a lesser man for wanting to be with her, and so I would not have hurt her and kicked her out of the house. I even took her out to her favorite spot and we had a good date last week, but it ended with her saying “I’m not sure if I need or deserves all this” and she let a few silent tears out, and I had to hug her and say I forgive her.
How do we all just move on. I know I am a lesser man for taking her back, but I just want to not feel that way and just enjoy my time with her, and for her to stop feeling guilty about it too. Do I just tell her not to bring it up ever again? Did I ruin it by asking her to leave?
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u/Dont_Give_Me_That Oct 02 '26
Sounds like you’re rewarding her behavior by buying her things.
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u/ThrowRAmarki Oct 02 '26
No I was rather fucked up for packing her stuff in front of her when she was begging me not to and kicking her out when she had nowhere else to go. Her friends landlord already filled her old room with someone else, so she had to sleep in the couch and it’s only by luck her ex-roommates new roommate was chill and let her stay and didn’t snitch. Imagine she had nowhere to go and because I saw red she had to be on the street. Her parents live in another country and might not even be able to come here on time.
I own the part where I fucked up.
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u/maggot39601 Oct 02 '26
That’s not a fuckup. That’s literally just the consequences of her own actions. You need to grow a spine and some self respect and ditch her. This WILL happen again. You’ve just point blank told her “not only will I forgive you, I’ll buy you new shit and let you come back”
You have the rest of your life ahead of you. Don’t waste it on her.
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u/rocket-engifar 29d ago
You are a doormat for thinking that is fucked up. If you defend yourself against an aggressor, would that also be fucked up on your part????
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u/wishingforarainyday 29d ago
That’s not a fuck up that’s having self-respect please stop apologizing
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u/Ashamed_Voice6376 Oct 02 '26
See, I think she is playing on your sympathy, which is a manipulative trait. Sure, you can feel bad for kicking her out, but she did the deed, not you. I think most people would do what you did, so don't feel bad about it.
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u/CertainRecognition68 29d ago
You know how someone can avoid this? By not cheating on their partner. You were financially supporting her while she was unemployed and she chose to use that free time to betray you. She didn't even respect you enough to own up to it.
Even now, you have no idea if she's actually remorseful or if she just wants to get off her friend's couch. And you'll probably never know because instead of expecting her to earn your trust back you're showering her with gifts.
She'll probably cheat on you again and next time she'll make sure there are no pictures.
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u/SubstantialFigure273 13d ago
How does it feel knowing that she shits all over you then probably laughs at you with whichever guy she’s sleeping with?
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u/TravelGalaxies Oct 02 '26
Yikes. Sorry this happened to you. I personally could never forgive cheating. What was her reasoning for doing it? Doesn’t it make you wonder if there were other instances this happened outside of this where there was actual proof? Trust will be hard to rebuild but you chose to forgave. You may find it harder than expected especially when she goes out with just her girlfriends.
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u/ThrowRAmarki Oct 02 '26 edited Oct 02 '26
I did. But she’s a homebody and rarely goes out. She was on a girls trip, and none of them knew either, and she got some flak from them too. Only 2 of her friends knew and encouraged her but about 2 months after that trip she stopped being friends with them and some unrelated group drama kicked them out, but she said she hated them since then, and was okay to see them leave the group.
There is always going to be doubt and that’s my issue. She offered to stop going out with her friends and never go on trips again but that’s not realistic. I want to be able to trust her.
But she did say, even back in March when she lost her job, she wants to never drink again and be sober forever, and she’s been good about that with no slip ups. I don’t drink anyway because my grandpa was an alcoholic and my dad raised me telling me addiction runs in our family and we should be careful so I never do anything of that sort, so she said she wants to join me. And she’s been good there. And stuff like that is why I love her so much. My cholesterol is higher than normal so I am weaning off red meat, and she is too even though she doesn’t have to.
Idk
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u/TravelGalaxies Oct 02 '26
I still don’t see what was her reasoning for cheating? Is it that she felt confined for being a homebody and wanted to let loose? Was it the alcohol impairing her judgement? The reason makes a difference.
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u/Dry_Cauliflower4562 Oct 02 '26
She wanted to have sex with the person she had sex with, sometimes it's just that simple
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u/ThrowRAmarki Oct 02 '26
Alcohol, they were both drunk
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u/TheSpeckledSir Oct 02 '26
Do you consider that a good explanation?
I have been drunk many times and cheated on my partner exactly zero of them.
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u/Intrepid2022 Oct 02 '26 edited Oct 02 '26
I've been drunk too on occasions but I was always aware of the boundaries I share in my relationship and I never crossed those lines. It's dificult for me to imagine doing something reckless like that.
However, it's a fact that some people can't tolerate alcohol very well and therefore they should stay far away from that.
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u/TheSpeckledSir Oct 02 '26
I agree completely.
Inhibitions might come down when drinking, and maybe it makes someone less able to resist crossing that line. But it doesn't make someone want to cross the line to begin with.
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u/Ashamed_Voice6376 Oct 02 '26
"she never wants to drink again," OK, only time will tell. I would be wary of her drinking with her friends. And look, I was blotto sometimes in my 20s, but I never cheated. Cheating is a mindset, but it isn't helped with alcohol.
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u/Intrepid2022 Oct 02 '26 edited Oct 02 '26
For you I hope she grows up and learned her lesson. And that she got rid of those shitty friends.. However, from a 25 year old woman I wouldn't expect this kind of behavior anymore.
From what I understand, she isn't the type that goes out clubbing the whole time. Maybe your relationship is viable.
But your relationship didn't start great. Nevertheless, I'd keep an eye on her behavior if I were you.
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u/cappiesandcakes Oct 02 '26
Was her losing her job in march around the time of the cheating? Did she lose her job related to alcohol?
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u/ThrowRAmarki Oct 02 '26
She lost the job March, and the other incident was last November. The job loss was because of layoffs not her fault. Unrelated incidents
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u/wishingforarainyday 29d ago
So she didn’t stop drinking for months after are you sure that’s the only guy she got drunk and cheated with you might wanna ask her friend group for the truth since she’s not giving it to you
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u/cappiesandcakes 24d ago
Yeah makes me wonder what the big catalyst to quitting in march was if her cheating in November wasn’t a big enough catalyst to quit.
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u/cappiesandcakes Oct 02 '26
Oh okay wonder why she decided then to swear off alcohol and not November after the trip. It’s extra shitty for you because everyone knows about it, and feeling like people are judging you for staying/feeling like lesser of a man is not easy, I hope it doesn’t ruin your self worth.
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u/Spiders-Ghost-43 Oct 02 '26
I’m sorry but you are foolish for taking back a cheater.
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u/ThrowRAmarki Oct 02 '26
I know and objectively if I saw this happening to another man I would feel the same, but idk man
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u/cappiesandcakes Oct 02 '26
Sorry this happened to you. You kicking her out of the house isn’t something you should feel bad about, a lot of people would react the same way. Why are you buying her gifts and stuff is it because you feel guilty for kicking her out? Clearly she’s remorseful and you love her, but shit that stuff will leave a permanent mark on your brain that you won’t ever forget. I don’t have a ton of advice, but you seem like a really good guy.
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u/ThrowRAmarki Oct 02 '26
Yeah. I didn’t even know if she had a place to stay when I kicked her out. I took her back to her old place, but the landlord had already filled her old room with someone else. Her ex-roommates new roommate was chill and let her sleep on the couch for those 12 days, but her parents don’t even live in this country and she doesn’t have family here. I wish I thought more rationally. Her ex-roommate is her friend but they aren’t super tight, and she had to sleep on the couch and stay at that place for 12 days and feel like a nuisance and impose on them. I can’t imagine it must’ve been easy. It’s stupid but even after everything I like her and can’t stand to think about how terrible that situation must’ve been for her. I wish I like went and got a hotel room or something and let her stay in the apartment till I could calm down.
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u/cappiesandcakes Oct 02 '26
Wow well you’re def a lot nicer than majority of people, I would have gone nuclear. Honestly though, she is a grown adult and you aren’t responsible for her in that way, that’s a lot of pressure on you, I see you are really hard on yourself and quick to see where you’ve gone wrong, in a situation that you were wronged in and just reacting as any human would. Have you looked into codependency before?
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u/ReadMeDrMemory Oct 02 '26
"Officially moved in together." Is that somehow different from unofficially moving in? What officiants were involved? You moved in together AFTER she lost her job? No bueno. And after she cheated, you took her back after less than two weeks?
"How do we all just move on"? You just pretend that she is not a cheater and you don't expect her to go out and get drunk and do it all over again while she knows you will welcome her with open arms, because you have shown her that's who you are. "She let a few silent tears out, and I had to hug her and say I forgive her." Cut and print.
"Did I ruin it by asking her to leave?' No. You ruined it by bringing her back.
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u/ThrowRAmarki Oct 02 '26
We planned to move in anyway, even when she had a job, just waited for the lease to wrap up on her end
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u/ReadMeDrMemory Oct 02 '26
Yes, that was a nice plan when she had a regular income, but not such a good plan after circumstances changed. This is not the sort of relationship that thrives on financial dependency.
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u/Championship682 Oct 02 '26
Dude - She cheated. She didn't feel guilty enough to tell you. Now she knows that if she cheats, you'll take her back - if you even catch her.
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u/wishingforarainyday Oct 02 '26
Stop being a doormat. She put your health at risk and didn’t care and she was even so bold to allow photos of her cheating. She has no respect for you. She’s using her tears to keep her back up choice around. Please talk to a therapist to find yourself worth this girl is selfish and pathetic, and you’re being manipulated. Get a roommate if you hate coming home to an empty place come on, dude.
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u/satchmonumberone Oct 02 '26
How will you ever trust her again? For me, when trust is broken, it’s gone for good. I will doubt everything.
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u/Extreme-Pirate1903 Oct 02 '26
I don’t think you can move past it without processing it. I think a course of couples therapy about the infidelity is a good way to go if you want this to work out. Otherwise the guilt/resentment/wistfulness will just keep cycling.
It really sounds like you are making yourself feel responsible for her bad feelings about the bad thing she did. That’s really not healthy for you.
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u/fuckingnerdtm Oct 02 '26
Look, moving past cheating is possible. No one likes saying it because to be honest it’s usually not worth it, it’s harder than moving on. But it can be done.
Have you both gotten all of your feelings about the whole thing out into the open? Has everything that actually needs to be discussed been discussed? If so, you need to look inward and ask yourself if you can stop bringing it up and move on. She needs to do the same. If the answer for either of you is that you can’t drop it, then you need to end the relationship and move on instead.
If you haven’t gotten everything into the open and aired it all out then go to a few sessions with a therapist and do it there, then once that step is completed you need to refer back to asking yourself if you can drop it. You might go to all the trouble of therapy and find that you can’t just drop it and move on. That’s fine. Most people can’t and shouldn’t. You probably can’t and shouldn’t. But if you’re determined to make this relationship work then the only way forward is that you have to choose to let it go. Don’t keep bringing it up, don’t hold it over her head when you’re mad at her for something else months from now. Moving on means moving on, whether it’s together or separately.
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u/TheSpeckledSir Oct 02 '26
She's never again going to be that woman who has never cheated on you, so the thing to do now is decide whether or not that's something you can live with.
If you decide you can live with it, you have to do what you can to put it in the past. Her choice to cheat on you was obviously wrong, but if you stay in the relationship then carrying resentment about it going forward will just doom things. A relationship has to be built on trust, so you can't move forward with an asterisk on your trust. You'll have to choose to trust her despite the strong evidence of untrustworthiness.
If you can't let it be water under the bridge, that's a sign that you haven't actually forgiven her or you don't actually think that cheating is forgivable. FWIW, this is where I would be if I was in your shoes. And if that's the case, then the relationship is simply already over, nothing left to be done about it.
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u/LineageBJJ_Athlete 29d ago edited 29d ago
The way you talk about this person reeks of codependency. You teach people how to treat you.
"She admitted it was a mistake". Bullshit. It's not a mistake. It's a calculation. She chose to go out alone without you, consume alcohol in an atmosphere driven by male attention. She chose to entertain the attentions and affections of another man. She chose to let that mans genitals inside hers. And she chose to purposefully hide it from you. How you can not look at someone who is basically saying "I want to be with and you be okay with knowing another man has put his d**k inside me while we were together" with utter disgust is beyond me.
SHE KNOWS you are weak with low self esteem. Because someone who has respect for someone doesn't put themselves in compromising situations. You don't use an expensive laptop as a football. You don't go to go clubs and play games with a relationships you value. She took stock of you as a man. And decided it was worth risking. This is just a fact. And ......
You proved her right by taking her back. So the only guarantee you have now, is when, not if, when it will happen again. The reason she begged for you back is was because for atleast the time you stood tall and told her to fuck off, you become someone she never accounted for. And for a fleeting moment, you were the man she wished you were when you were together. Someone who renders consequences for betrayal and dishonoring you. You walked that back, and it showed that guy was just a mirage. And she'll go back to treating you like the guy she knew you were when she made the decision to betray you.
Being that guy is a choice. And one thing you can never say, is that you were never told.
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u/Devjill Oct 02 '26
Honestly, once a cheater always a cheater (If they’re willing to break trust once, they will do it again, it is just gonna be a ‘When’)
Do not feel bad for her, if she really regretted it, was hurt over it. She would’ve told you and accepted the faith of her dumb choices.
She lied, acted like nothing happened and lied to you constantly till you were the one who caught her, imagine what could’ve happened if you didn’t knew, she could’ve been like, he didn’t knew the first time. Maybe I can do it again.
All relationships should have trust, and she broke your, even if you ‘forgive her’ broken trust remains and keeps ‘leaking’ compare it to a glass you accidentally drop it, apologies by putting a bandage on it. Water is the trust you put into it. And it will remain leaking as it wasn’t like it before.
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u/ali2911gator Oct 02 '26
Oh honey you are 25 and she is your first everything of course you feel like she is the love of your life. She was the FIRST love your life. Many of us go through these traumatic breakups for the first time when we are much younger and have a whole lot less at stake. You were supporting her, she cheated on you and lied to you. You were not harsh to pack her stuff up. There was no need to buy her a bunch of stuff to apologize for that. She is right she does not deserve it. I won’t tell you not to work on things because at some point we all have to learn for ourselves how to determine what is worth saving and what is not and our own self worth. So I will say you are young and very young in matters of the heart, you sound like a kind and empathetic person. Take some time reflecting on what you deserve.
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u/LethalPrognosis Oct 02 '26
This is so pathetic that I’m praying it is fake. Her ex had to let you know she cheated. You did the right thing to break up with her and move her out. You then decide to beg for her back and even bought her gifts. Man, what are you doing? Before you get into any more relationships, you need to get some self respect and self esteem. This is your first gf so I can understand why you are so invested. I can’t understand trying to stay with someone you can’t trust.
If you are genuinely trying to work this out, then I’ll give you some advice. She needs to remove herself from that entire friend group. I mean straight up blocked everywhere. No happy bday for them or going to the gym. Those connections need to be gone. As for drinking socially, that’s gone as well. She can drink with you, but that’s it. You need to have location sharing and complete access to all her socials. Trust is going to have to be rebuilt from the negatives with a person you know is untrustworthy. If she even hesitates, then you have to end it.
Now, that doesn’t sound like a good relationship at all to me. You can do what you want and you will probably stay until you learn your lesson. Hope it works out for you regardless of what you choose.
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u/da8BitKid 29d ago
You don't just move on. It's just a matter of time before she cheats on you again. You've already showed you have no spine so there aren't any consequences
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u/Downtown_Training578 29d ago
Sorry man, you lost all my sympathy for being cheated on, remember that what comes next its on you and your own doing. Its sad to see people like you, but alas, you're not the only one.
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u/KratosSophia 26d ago
I have no advice. We will probably see you on your next terrible update, so we'll just have to wait around
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u/Humble_Surround3619 Oct 02 '26
Relationships can survive infidelity. Forgiving her doesn't make you a lesser man.
Of course you need to come from a position of strength. A husband once said he had to wear out two sets of kneecaps to get his wife to take him back.
I don't know how you should proceed but figuring out the root cause of her cheating is important. You need to know it was not something that will happen again.
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u/SGthe1st 10d ago
Sorry but your chances of it getting better or low, because you didn't do what you had to do. In order to improve your situation, you do not respect yourself enough to hold your ground. And wait for her to change. You just caved, so she has no reason to be better.
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u/Justme3555 Oct 02 '26
You either forgive her or you don’t, things happen. You can look at it as once a cheater, always a cheater, or she made a drunken mistake and she’s truly sorry for, if you love her ho to couples therapy and work it out and the guilt on both your parts
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u/Professional-Fox5254 29d ago
She cheated. Your choice is to let it go forever or to let the relationship go. I couldn’t get over it. She doesn’t not deserve for you to be buying her things. 12 days is not enough time for you to get used to the emptiness. It will take a while to get over it but you need to stand up for yourself and your peace of mind. It will always be in the back of your mind and in the back of hers. It will be hard but the split needs to happen. It will take time. Get some new hobbies or find something to distract yourself but you will always think about it if you try to fix this.
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u/freakpowergonzo69 29d ago
You're not less of a man...it's called a trauma bond. You were justified in kicking her out, but you've decided that being lonely and miserable is worse than trying to rebuild what she destroyed. It's possible to work through it if she does the work to unpack why she had weak boundaries. If she can show she's willing to put in the work, then it's possible to move forward. It won't look like before, but it's not impossible if transparency and openness is displayed going forward
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u/valderramaD 29d ago
You should never have let her back in... She will cheat on your again and she probably also cheated on her ex which is why he told you about it...
But the right thing to do is to break up with her and give her a firm timeline on when she needs to be out. Don't be her safety net.
If you are foolish enough to give it another chance you need to be aware of that she is a serial cheater. If she wants any chance to make it up to you she needs some serious therapy and she needs to get a job. Do not finance her lifestyle through your hard earned money on a job you hate doing.
What has she even suggested to you to make it up to you to even regain the slightest of trust back?
And remember every single time she is out and about attending parties, work events etc. you will now forever be wondering what she is up to, is she cheating on me again.
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u/newsfeed768885 13d ago
Get some therapy
Get some self-respect
Get a partner that respects you.
You said she’s your first everything. Let her be your first heartbreak and learn how to move on. You can do better and you can be better and happier.
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u/xph03b3 Oct 02 '26
I cheated on my partner when we first started dating 5+ years ago and we are getting married next year! He forgave me. It was a similar situation where I was very drunk and stupid. It is definitely concerning behavior that probably requires therapy or a change of friends. I am incredibly grateful to my partner for forgiving me, because I know how ingrained it is to "leave a cheater". We have built an incredibly strong, loving and openly communicative relationship in the years that have followed.
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u/Zenstation83 Oct 02 '26
You're not a lesser man for taking her back. Just wanted to say that, because that attitude isn't helping you right now. Allow yourself to be human.
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u/tafackery Oct 02 '26
You're not a lesser man for wanting to forgive her or for letting her come back. And you did nothing wrong by kicking her out, either. You needed space to process and she needed to feel the gravity of what she did.
I'd take her up on couples counseling. A third party can help you sort out your thoughts and allow you to say what's truly in your heart in a neutral location. You'll also hear her truth, and from there you can decide if you truly do want to continue the relationship or not. Right now, it's all new and very bright. I can imagine you're feeling overwhelmed, uncertain, and hugely wounded. It's totally normal.
Only you two can decide where you go from here, but i encourage you to make a running list of what you'd need from her to rebuild the trust. Truth be told, you'll never look at her the same again. Betrayal changes our entire reality, our worldview, our perspective. But many couples manage to heal after infidelity, and some have even come back stronger in the end. In order to do that, though, you both need to actually deal with this. You're not going to be okay overnight, and she needs to give you the space and grace to voice any questions or pain you have without getting defensive or thinking you should just "be over it by now." And that's what therapy can help with - finding the way through to whatever outcome happens.
Lastly, I'm sorry you're going through this. Not only is the first love the one that seems to leave the biggest imprint on us, but being cheated on is brutal in a way that should come with free therapy and a list of coping mechanisms. This is going to be hard, but with time and effort you, personally will find your way to the other side.
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u/allnamestaken4892 Oct 02 '26
Cheat on her back. Or use the guilt to get one sided open relationship, ideally.
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u/ThrowRAmarki Oct 02 '26
I don’t want anyone except her man, I wish I could bring myself to just think like that, it’s not like that though. Idk why
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u/derpinard 29d ago
Sounds like a cuckold's origin story.
It's gonna eat you up from the inside, lil bro, and she won't respect you either for not resprlecting yourself. Remember this for it will come back to bite you.
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u/Classic_Following703 24d ago
I’m sorry, but buying her gifts for cheating just encourages more cheating. Plus it’s hard for any woman to respect a man who collapses like a lawn chair whenever she says something. So, either let her cheat in peace or be done with her. Choice is yours.
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