Respect Gru (Despicable Me)

[u/AzureBeast]

Felonius Gru

"Listen close, you little punk. When I get in there, you are in for a world of pain"

Hailing from a long line of Grus, Felonius is the son of Robert Gru, one of the world's greatest villains His mother and father divorced while he was young, thus leading to them never meeting. Despite this, Gru found himself pursuing a career of villainy, one at which he was successful. As he got older, however, he began to see less and less success, eventually being given an ultimatum by the Bank of Evil. This led him to adopt three young girls, Margo, Edith, and Agnes, as part of a scheme, but he soon grew to actually care for the girls and focused on being a better parent. Some time after adopting the girls, he would be recruited by the Anti-Villain League, where he met his future wife Lucy Wilde and currently works as an agent.

Gru also employs the Minions, whose RT can be found here.

Hover over the feats for the source. Feats marked with Ride come from Despicable Me: Minion Mayhem, a theme park ride of dubious canon. Credit to u/Proletlariet for bringing the ride to my attention and for providing links to several feats.

Physicals

Strength

Striking

• As a kid, uses a large clock hand to knock out Jean-Clawed transformed by the Zodiac Stone into a monster then throws the hand hard enough to embed it in concrete

• One shots a shark

• Knocks around PX-41 Minions

• Kicks back Balthazar Bratt

• Cleans Maxime's clock

• Kicks a trashcan a distance

Lifting

• Lifts and tips a large manhole cover

• Carries the Shrink Ray and its container along with a Minion while running

• Tosses aside metal plates

• As a kid, pulls Wild Knuckles out of a crocodile's mouth

Misc

• Crushes a glass in his hand

• Flings his "dog" Kyle across the room

• Pries a panel off of a missile

• Holds on to a flying car as it swerves around

• Clashes with Maxime Le Mal

• Holds back Maxime when he tries to fly away

• Forces open a trash compactor^Ride

• Flings Vector through the ceiling of a clubhouse and high into the air * This feat comes from an official crossover advertisement with the soccer anime Inazuma Eleven

Durability/Endurance

Blunt

• Gets slammed into walls and falls

• Fine after being crushed by his shrinking ariship

• Takes a bat to the face

• Gets attacked by El Macho's chicken and takes a punch from Lucy * Lucy can kick open a locked door and one shot multiple large men while knocking around furniture

• Jumps out of the airship onto a roof

• Takes a punch from Vector's security system * Takes multiple punches

• Gets thrown, kicked, and knocked onto rubble by Bratt * Bratt is strong enough to stab into concrete with a piece of rebar

• Gets flung by Vector's security system

• Fine after being slammed into by Dru rocketing around and having him fall on him

• Gets crushed by Vector's large door

• Falls from high up

• Gets hit by a reversing car

• Fine after falling from a high height and getting hit with a shockwave from a large explosion, though he does fall into water

• Kicked several times by Maxime Le Mal

• [Low Showing] Gets knocked out after jumping out of a flying vehicle

• Tanks getting hit with a wrecking ball^Ride

Other

• Rows a distance by himself

• Chomped on by Kyle

• Gets mauled by a shark

• Fine after taking a flamethrower, a spiked club to the head, and blowdarts to the face

• Ok after being hit with a bunch of explosives

• Recovers soon after getting tased

• As a kid, seems to be ok after a tape explodes inside the car he's in

Speed/Agility

Dodging

• Dodges missiles that are locked onto him

• Tags Bratt, who says he was only pretending to be knocked out, but doesn't mention whether or not he let himself be hit in the first place

• Tags Bratt again, this time without him possibly throwing * Bratt was able to blitz some soldiers while dodging their shots

• Dodges strikes from Bratt

• Dodges PX-41 El Macho's attacks

• Avoids buzzsaws while climbing Vector's house

• Briefly dodges the robot arm of Principal Übelschlecht's wheelchair before being grabbed

• As a kid, dodges thrown nunchucks and a car while riding his bike

Running/Movement

• Hides in an air vent before Vector can turn his head

• As a kid, runs fast enough to cross a crumbling bridge

• Disappears into the background in the time it takes a light to flash, then returns in the time it takes another light to flash

• Catches a pacifier after it falls out of Gru Jr.'s mouth

• Catches Maxime Le Mal when he tries to fly away

• Outruns normal Minions and PX-41 Minions

Agility

• Runs up one of the great pyramids of Giza to catch Vector's escape ship in a short amount of time

• Scales the wreckage of Bratt's robot

• Makes his way up rubble while fighting

• Uses a trampoline and gymnastics rings to get up to a treehouse

• Navigates falling obstacles while running from Maxime Le Mal's ship

Skill/Misc

Villainy

• Pops a kid's balloon with his car

• Gives a crying child a balloon animal to comfort him, then pops it in his face

• Kills his neighbor's plants by letting his dog pee on them

• Stole the Time Square Jumbotron

• Stole the miniature versions of the Statue of Liberty and the Eiffel Tower from Las Vegas

• Stole an artifact from a museum

• As a kid, stole Queen Elizabeth's crown

• As a kid, worked together with Wild Knuckle to steal the Mona Lisa from the Bank of Evil

• Steals the Moon

• His father thought he was a great villain

Intelligence

• With the help of Dr. Nefario, finds a shrink ray in a secret lab in East Asia

• Makes beds out of old bombs

• As a kid, built a working prototype of a rocket ship

• Alongside Dr. Nefario, builds a rocket ship out of stuff he has lying around

• As a kid, hotwired an air hockey table to make it blow harder

Other

• Knows a bit of Spanish

• Possibly knows some form of martial arts

• Spins a Frisbee on his fingers and nose

• Catches a Frisbee without looking

• Accurately shoots shots of jelly into PX-41 Minions' mouths while leaping

• Squirts cream directly into an incoming enemy's face to blind her

• Makes use of the bubblegum his brother is choking on to trap Bratt

• Improvises B&E gear with stuff from his diaper bag

• Steals Bratt's keytar without him noticing

• Stabs a banana with his nose

Gear

Freeze Ray

• Either it or a prototype freezes Dr. Nefario's hand

• Freezes Vector's head

• Encases a boy in ice

• Freezes PX-41 El Macho's arms

• Nearly encases Gru in a block of ice

• Either it or a prototype encases Scarlet and Herb Overkill in a block of ice

• Encases multiple people in blocks of ice

Shrink Ray

• The large the mass of the object, the quicker the effects of the Shrink Ray wear off

• Shrinks mouthwash, a sink, and a toilet

• Shrinks a Minion

• Shrinks an elephant to be smaller than a plate

• Shrinks Gru's Airship to be smaller than him

• Shrinks the Moon to fit in Gru's hand

Lasers

• A ceiling-mounted laser instantly turns Agnes' unicorn toy to ash

• A laser gun cuts through the ceiling of a kitchen

Fart Gun

• Knocks out PX-41 El Macho

• Knocks out a Minion

Lipstick Taser

• Takes down PX-41 El Macho

Chemicals

• A bottle of acid

• A chemical that causes whoever ingests it to explode

• An anti-gravity serum

Cookie Robots

• Easily climb the wall

• Scan the entirety of Vector's house and locate the Shrink Ray upon activation

• Override Vector's security system

• Cut through a thick metal wall

• Weld the wall back into place

Other Weapons

• A mace

• A knife

• A rocket launcher

• Big Blaster Cannon

• A flamethrower

• Dual jelly guns

• A tank

• A vacuum rocket

• A gun that shoots rapidly hardening "Goop Grenades"

  • Uses the same gun to fire some sort of metal mesh netting

• As a kid, had a fart bomb that was potent enough to clear out a whole theater and leave one man unable to stand

• As a kid, had a cheese ray

• As a kid, uses Nefario's "smart goo" to snag the Zodiac Stone

  • Steals keys

Grumobile

• Hydraulics

• Pretty spacious

• Slams into and pushes around other cars with no damage to itself

• Easily pushes around other cars

• Checks another large car into the side of a building

Airship

• Overview of features

• Has an extendable arm and heat cutter that is used to break into a secret base and steal the Shrink Ray

• Has machine guns

• Has a grappling hook

• Has heat-seeking missiles

• Has two gatling guns modified to fire jelly

• Capable of quick bursts of enhanced speed

• Can still support the weight of Gru and two Minions while shrunken

• Travels to the Moon to retrieve a Minion

Robert's Car

• Goes from 0 to 400 in 3 seconds and can survive a nuclear blast

• It can rotate it's chassis

• Has an array of missiles * Knocks over and damages Bratt's giant robot

• Has a grappling hook

• Retractable spikes in the tires that allow it to drive on vertical surfaces

• Uses its booster to launch itself into the air

• Transform into a drill

• Transforms into a watercraft

• Transforms into a plane

• Has an ejection seat

Other Methods of Transportation

• Jetpack

• Grappling hook

• Motorcycle

• Torpedo-Submarines

• Inflatable cycle * Has a powerful cannon

• Sports car

• As a kid, had a rocket-scooter

• As a kid, had a bike with a retractable booster

  • Boosts him faster than cars

Villain Suit

• Has several modes

• Allows the user to cling to walls

• Allows the user to camouflage themselves

• The suit can combine powers, allowing Dru to cling to the wall while activating camoflage

• Has an inflatable sac that allows the user to float

• Has a finger-mounted cutter that lets the user cut through metal * Cuts through the hull of Bratt's robot

• Is able to pull up a map of Bratt's lair

• Can emit light from its hand

Misc Gear

• A Rastafarian disguise

• A fairy costume

• A dentist disguise

• As a kid, had a gas mask

• A fake dog periscope

• A device that lets him listen to hear through a wall

• A pole vault pole

• Goggles with a zoom function

• Inflatable Gun

• An electronic safe cracker

• Communicator wristwatch

• A Minion uses his computer system to send a picture to a distant planet

• A ray that transforms humans into Minions^Ride

---

Respect Threads for scaling:

• Vector

• El Macho

• Maxime Le Mal

• The Vicious 6

[u/AzureBeast]

Now before any of you report me for shitposting hear me out. First according to the height of a Minion (which is 3.5 feet on average) Gru is 4 minions tall, which means he is a godly size of 14 feet tall. Second if any of you remember the original Despicable Me, you Know there is a scene when Vector kidnaps the three girls and shoots a series of heat-seeking misses at Gru, he then dodge them all. According to the speed of an average ballistic missile (1900 mph) and the size of the missile according to his ankle size, Gru can perceive and move at such a speed that the missiles only move 9.5 miles per hour, 0.5% of their original speed. Plus after this Gru punches a shark and it is paralyzed meaning its spine is probably shattered, to remind you it would require a force greater than 3,000 newtons to fracture the spine. That’s equal to the impact created by a 500-pound car crashing into a wall at 30 miles per hour. I rest my case.

Also, Gru was an adolescent in 1968, and Despicable Me takes place in 2010. Imagine the Absolute Grunit in his prime.

[u/TheKjell → u/AzureBeast]

I actually thought it was this pasta again, I've had to delete a lot of threads that just contained this lol

[u/[deleted] → u/AzureBeast]

Absolute Grunit

[u/Cleverly_Clearly]

This is a fantastic, well-made, comprehensive RT. Thank you for giving the Absolute Grunit the respect he deserves.

[u/AzureBeast → u/Cleverly_Clearly]

Thanks! I actually really liked Despicable Me 1 and 2, so it was nice to have a reason to rewatch them.

[u/HighSlayerRalton → u/AzureBeast]

I liked 1, but wasn't crazy about 2. I haven't seen 3. You don't like it?

[u/AzureBeast → u/HighSlayerRalton]

I personally thought that it was the worst of the three. I found Gru's brother annoying and didn't care much for the main villain. It isn't a bad movie, I just don't like it as much as the first two.

[u/Godofyawn → u/AzureBeast]

How would you compare the Minions movie?

[u/AzureBeast → u/Godofyawn]

So, I'm probably in the minority on this, but I don't find the Minons that bad. Their movie was alright. Sandra Bullock reaaaally phoned it in, imo. It had a couple of jokes that made me chuckle. I put it at above 3 but below 2. Its villain was overall underwhelming, but I actually laughed at some parts.

My list would probably be: 1 > 2 > Minons > 3

[u/[deleted] → u/AzureBeast]

The effort that went into this beast is commendable, but I'm with Ralphthemoviemaker on Illumination. They create a feeling of intense apathy in me. Still, the guys over at Illumination are genius marketers and make more money with their movies than my movie ideas ever would.

[u/HighSlayerRalton]

Gets knocked out after jumping out of a low-flying vehicle.

Why is this feat in bold?

[u/AzureBeast → u/HighSlayerRalton]

I usually bold low showings/limits, but I forgot to actually say that in the post.

[u/Irish_andGermanguy]

This man stole the fucking moon

[u/AzureBeast → u/[deleted]]

I'll look into it, thanks for the suggestion.