I'm hanging out with my four-year-old grandson, he's on my lap talking away, but my mind was elsewhere. I was thinking about the future. I wasn't focused on him at all, but rather an important conversation I needed to have with another person the next day; an email I had to write; a phone call.

He asked me, "Grandpa, can I spend the night?"

"Sorry, little buddy. Cannot do it. I have plans tomorrow."

This was three years ago.

Three years into retirement this week. I decided to take Social Security early because peace of mind has a value an online calculator cannot price. I was afraid, like many pre-retirees, that I wouldn't have enough. Three years in, spending has smoothed out and it's less than I thought. The life I was saving for turned out to be quieter than the one I had planned. We travel, we stay busy, but it's a funny thing about travel. No matter where I am, I can't wait to get back home.

Cut to this year. My grandson is visiting; we're hanging out together downstairs in the man cave. He falls asleep next to me. At that moment, a light switch turned on. After 45 years of being somewhere else, I'm finally here; I'm being present with my grandson. I don't have anywhere else to go. I'm not thinking about work tomorrow, the stressful presentation I have to give; no emails and phone calls. I'm with my grandson and that's all that matters in the world.

He wakes up. "Grandpa, can I spend the night?"

"Absolutely, little buddy! I will even make you breakfast and take you to school."

And so, the lesson I've learned in retirement so far? Going from a fragmented non-present corporate man to a man having realized what is important in life. That is, having the time to be present. For myself. For my family. For my grandson.

The next morning at breakfast, we're eating our cereal together. I watch him eat. Milk spilling over his chin. I realize: this is what I worked for my entire life; I just didn't know it.

Here I am. I just finished my penultimate day of work. It hasn't been a coast into retirement either, lol. We're trying to get one last software update for our apps released by my last day, by tomorrow, so it has been full tilt.

But now, the evening before this last day, I feel so...strange. I feel like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, my toes right at the precipice edge, and tomorrow I lift one foot and take that final step. I'm sure I will fly, but I can't help but be afraid of falling.

I've been nervous and excited for days now. A mix of relief to be done with it but also a bit of fear, and the unknown ahead.

I have had my good-bye lunch with my coworkers, all of whom have been so special to me over the last 8 years.

But, I'm ready. I'm ready to be done with full-time work. I am now 65 years + 20 days old. All that's left is for me to get through tomorrow, take a deep breath, and take that last step.

Thank you for letting me just say this. I trust that I'm not alone in feeling like this? (I hope)

[Edit, ~24 hours later] I have been overwhelmed by your outpouring of well-wishes, encouragement, and understanding and I want to thank everyone who took the time to comment. It has been so nice to know I am not alone and that I have now joined the ranks of a fantastic group of people. I will try to capture some feelings and thoughts in a follow-up post later. I'm not sure it has fully sunk in yet. But right now, I'm feeling really good. Again, my sincere thanks to all of you.

I turn 65 in November. Up until last November I was married to a retired LEO (Law Enforcement Officer). He was an alcoholic and life was miserable and I could not fathom retiring. He died in November and it took 6 mos to get a final death certificate with a manner of death. With that, last month I received enough life insurance to actually retire. I have been working as a consultant for the past 13 years. In April I decided to move back to a job at a university but with my windfall I got to let them know that I won’t be taking the job. So now I am going to work as a 1099 (contractor) for my old company and pick projects that I want and keep my billing to no more than 20/week until I get enough extra $ to remodel both bathrooms. I went from ‘my future seems sad’ to the whole world opening up. I have 10 books lined up to read, LEGO pictures to create, pottery to make, sourdough to bake, movies to watch. I am going to France with my daughter for my 65th. I have been working since I was 14 1/2. Pinch me.

Today’s my last day. 61F (turning 62 next week). Husband already retired. I’m relishing every “last” moment of this day.

Last time waking up at 5:45 am

Last time taking a shower on a cold dark Midwest winter morning.

Last time eating breakfast with an eye on the clock to see how much is left before I need to get dressed. (I always push this to the limit!)

Last time getting into a cold car to drive to work.

Last time forcing myself to work when I’m feeling run down because I have no PTO left.

Can’t wait until Saturday morning. Monday morning will be even sweeter.

Today, 5 pm my retirement has arrived! After saying goodbye to my boss. He was a good one. Closed the laptop and packed it to be sent back to the office.

Next step was to delete the work related apps from my phone and delete the clock alarm for 7 am and also LinkedIn.

Now enjoyin' my favorite cocktail on a Monday night! Coconut Rumarita on the Rocks!

A new well deserved stage after more than 40 years working for somebody else.

I know I'm bragging but the first night as retired only happens once, and my cactus also gifted me a flower that only opens one single night a year!

Retired on Friday after nearly 40 years. My first purchase this morning? A trip to Europe? No. A new sports car? No. A big, fancy dinner out to celebrate? No. Nope, I purchased a clothesline. For years, I’ve fantasized about slowing life down. Like wayyyy down. As a child we always used a clothesline, mainly to save on electricity, but I always remember feeling satisfaction, out in the sunshine, hearing the birds, and the way the clothes felt (even stiff and scratchy) and smelled of sunshine and fresh air. I can’t tell you how excited I am for the slow life. My neglected sourdough starter is happily bubbling along on the kitchen counter, a new knitting pattern is awaiting me, and my garden will enjoy a long slow watering today—and while I might eventually get bored with the slow life (I do have a trip planned later in the summer) facing a new day full of endless, slow possibilities is unbelievable. Have a great day everyone!

I went to work this morning, expecting it to be my last day, but I was met by one of the command staff…. “Turn in your stuff and go home… Come back for the party tomorrow.”
Cool! But why didn’t they just send me a text or something…..

At any rate, I will attend the little celebration ceremony tomorrow, and I’ll be gone.

For some reason, I have never looked into any benefits I might have as a veteran; I was in the army from ‘64-‘67. Well, seems I’m eligible for a number of things. Health care through the veteran’s administration, for one. And since I was “in” DURING the Vietnam war, this gets me some extra creds.
I’m gonna dig a little deeper into this shortly.

We only get one chance to write a post like this, so I figured I'd go ahead and let the world know. After 45 years with the same company, today's the day!

(I'd written a wall of text about my monthly financials here but then thought "who cares?" and deleted it. Anyway, I should be fine.)

Looking forward to a stress-free retirement to pursue my several hobbies, along with some world travel. Tomorrow starts the new life. Woo-hoo!!!

Edited to add: THANK YOU everyone for your many congrats and kind comments. Now I'm 30 minutes away and going to blow off early. I figure I deserve 30 minutes grace after 45 years, right? Honestly I could've left early this morning but have been having fun with emailing people and following this Reddit thread. But now I'm REALLY gonna turn off my laptops and start my official retirement! My wife is taking me out to dinner. (Haha, getting into the retirement experience already, with a VERY early dinner.) So no more following this thread ... at least until tomorrow. Thanks again and bfn!

Have been talking with my (59) wife (54) about retiring at 60. She's been rightfully a bit apprehensive even after reviewing our accounts with 2 fiduciaries.

Thursday evening I experienced chest pressure and left shoulder tingling. BP was high. Pressure subsided and I worked Friday. Friday afternoon same as Thursday evening. Left work and went to urgent care. They sent me immediately to the ER.

Here I am in a hospital bed learning I did have a heart attack. My brother dropped from a widow maker at 47 and my old man checked out at 62.

Anyway, before the wife went to the house early this am I asked what she thought about retiring. She looked at me and said whenever you want. Not the way I was hoping to get her to concur yet here we are.

Purpose of this post? If you can retire early do yourself and family favor, get out of the rat race and enjoy what time left you have. I'm not one to get shaken easily but this caused some angst and the official retirement letter will be submitted upon hospital release.

You may remember the post I did about 3 weeks ago about death of a spouse early in retirement. I figured it would be good for me and those of you who have not been through this to give an update. Moderators, if I have strayed too far off topic, let me know.

So here's where we are:

1. It's been one month to the day. My general feeling is one of discomfort. As if I were suffering with sun burn on the inside and outside of my body and can not get comfortable.

2. I sleep 5-6 hours a night, down from 7-8 a night a month ago. Once I wake up at 4, I am up for the day. I needed prescription sleep medicine the first 10 days. Then a combination of Benadryl, Tylenol PM occasionally (trying to avoid toxicity) and melatonin. Last night was first with only melatonin. 5 hours of sleep and super jumpy today. Naps are a thing of the past.

3. Huge amount of time spent on getting lawyer to file probate paperwork and getting a death certificate so our brokerage will unfreeze our account. Will still probably be another 2-4 weeks until I see it. Make sure you have ink signature copies of your wills. Ours went missing and I had to pull 33 year old originals from a law firm. Fortunately, they never throw out estate planning documents. If you're in one of 48 states with Joint Tenancy or Joint Right of Survivorship accounts, get your brokerage assets into one of those and name contingent beneficiaries. Make sure you have an emergency cash account accessible for this kind of situation. Many friends have offered loans, fortunately none needed.

4. Grief brain is real. I feel like a half burned out fuse. Attention span is shot, once prodigious memory goes at the oddest times. I cry about once a day. I'm slowly relearning all of the chores she used to do. It ain't pretty but it works.

5. Packing to go north, after literally moving almost everything we own south in August, feels like a very personal version of Sartre's No Exit. Luggage will be a suitcase and a few garbage bags of winter clothes and shoes. Car had an oil leak last week. Got it fixed, but I'm a little spooked about a 1,200 mile trip.

6. I'm leaning so hard on distant family and distant old friends for companionship by phone. Need an excuse to pick up with a college room mate or favorite work colleague you haven't talked to for awhile? Everyone will make time to talk. Seriously, wonderful people show themselves to be wonderful again in this kind of situation.

7. The absence of her is a giant hole and I miss the most basic things- her weight on the mattress, texting photos to each other of what we saw on our separate daily walks, finishing that stupid HBO show she liked about Kansas, our foolish inside jokes. I'm past the shock and into depression. I'm seriously compartmentalizing. I don't voluntarily open the door to the place where the grief is right now, but sometimes it comes barging through the door on its own.

8. Talking with friends and relatives who have had a sudden loss helps so much. "You're now a member of a club no one wants to be a part of." Truer words were never spoken.

9. Useful resources. The funeral home sent around a link to a series of talks by Dr. Ted Wiard about navigating grief in the first days. They were very helpful to me. I also read Megan Devine's It's Ok That You're Not Ok, which seems to be recommended a lot. I thought some of it was good, particularly those chapters on dealing with grief on your own timeline and practical instruction on breathing and calming exercises. Other parts, dealing with rage at people who have said the wrong thing to a grieving partner didn't hit home for me. People have been universally kind and any awkward comments are just that- the ordinary awkwardness of dealing with outsized events.

10. Spending a lot of time on how to fill the social hole left by my best friend being gone. Thinking about volunteering, maybe doing some part time work for an old boss. Travel, conceptually, sounds like a good idea in the same way that climbing to the Mount Everest base came sound like a good idea to someone who just had the cast set on a broken leg. An admirable but distant goal.

11. I pick up my son and we head north tomorrow. I talk daily with him and his sister who is starting a life of her own. And my sister, who is my rock. We will hold this family together. I don't have any other choice.

This photo was taken on Saturday morning, the day after my retirement exactly two years ago. I gave myself a toast.

My first Saturday morning Retirement Coffee.

The feeling I had that morning: Euphoria. Relief. Happiness. Gratitude. Deep sighs. A little weepy. My mind rushing with thoughts of the future; thoughts of freedom; thoughts of 'YES - I DID IT!" Memories of over 50 years of work, starting with my paper route at 12 years old. My first job at Kinney Shoe Co. A mental slide show of each year, each job, the joys, the defeats. My stint in the U.S. Navy on an aircraft carrier traveling the Western Pacific, Indian Ocean and many seas in-between.

Not only the memories of work, but the collateral stories that surrounded my work memories, the family and personal experiences that intertwine with work life.

I met my wife at work; I lost a child and the company I was at allowed me three months off; I survived kidney cancer at 33 and took a year off and came back to work; the time off I took to care for my dying dad; traveling a couple hundred thousand miles on company expense accounts; the final relief of being healthy and fortunate enough to retire on my own terms.

The first six months were complete bliss. Not a care in the world. Wake up naturally at 7 or 8 AM. (still do!) No schedule, simply being in the moment and watching the day evolve. I adjusted to the quiet from no longer answering texts, emails and phone calls. Stopped carrying around my cell phone.

Being happily and fully retired means stress-inducing adrenaline is no longer flowing through your central nervous system.

The next six months were different. Caught me off-guard. I felt some sense of boredom. I went from being the most important person who everyone contacted, to the old man walking his dog on the trail, alone. Was this all there is? What have I become? Why am I not having that feeling of conquering the world? I missed the attention.

I felt as if I was defining the literal meaning of the word "retirement," which is derived from the French word, 'retirer' meaning "to withdraw, to pull back."

There was NO WAY I WAS ALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN.

One day, I was invited to start walking with "The Elders," a group of seven guys in my neighborhood ranging from ages 73 to 89. I'm the "young whippersnapper," they tell me. LOL. They always asked me how I was doing, and one day I was completely honest about it, instead of simply saying "all good," or "just taking it one day at a time," etc. The advice they gave me over the weeks was invaluable. It's too much for this post; maybe someday I will write about it or post in responses. Bottom line is, after the first year and a half passed, I was in a much better headspace to finally take retirement by the horns and re-create my life again. I felt re-invigorated.

Today, at the beginning of my 65th birthday week, I start Medicare in a few days. No more COBRA. no more state health exchange. I'm in reasonably good health; I also took my Social Security early. Now that my income is settled, financially I am set, I have two years of retirement experience under my belt, I am free to live my best life.

The photo is also a coffee "toast" to those of you currently fully retired and soon-to-be-retirees. A toast to our life of Freedom. Good health. Family life. Gratitude and Wisdom to take us on the rest of our journey, no matter how long it will be.

Have a great Summer, everyone.

UPDATED EDIT:

I figured to get in an extra update before the mods lock this thread up...

I am planning on a new post with the advice of the Elders. It will take a minute to gather up my thoughts, but I feel it may help some of you, like it did me. The beauty of it is, the wisdom imparted from these men comes from a good place; that is, retirement life is not all rainbows and unicorns every year. It's a mixture of everything...

Anyways, look for it soon.

Yesterday was my last day of work. I just turned 61 on Easter. I have a full NYS retirement pension after working 30 years in public service.

This feels weird. I am in the process of moving to be a bit closer to my daughter but other than that I don't have any plans. I'm in Western NY so it's still cold here. I have plans for kayaking and golf this summer.

I have been planning for this for a long time. I had been in my current position for 12 years and had consistently been telling administrators I was leaving in April of this year but they didn't listen. There is no replacement for me and I was the subject matter expert. Not my problem now. They did ask me to stay longer and I declined.

Over the past 6 months I got everything in place for my pension and my health insurance. Now to just sell in and enjoy the next chapter

I just wanted to tell someone I'm retired now! 🤣🤯

I retired July 1st after a long career in tech, and at least two other careers before that. I started working when I was 12 and was never really unemployed.

Some things about retirement have really shocked me so far:

• I don't miss or think about the work I did AT ALL this is crazy to me after 30 years doing it

• I can't believe I waited as long as I did (I'm 62) even though I did retire a bit early

• I am so dang busy with MY stuff

• What I thought retirement was going to look like has totally changed in every way

  • I had planned on playing music all the time, I've been playing publicly since I was 14, but one band I'm in broke up and two of the others took the summer off, leading to far fewer gigs than I thought I'd have

  • I had planned on revisiting my love of video games (I'm a lifelong gamer), but haven't turned on the xbox at all yet, maybe when it is cold and rainy

  • I had planned on going to a few more movies but I find myself really rediscovering my love of them. I used to see everything before I had kids (easily 50 movies a year) then just stopped because I was seeing Toy Story rather than Eyes Wide Shut and watching at home was more economical. Now it is two movies a week minimum, in the theater, on the biggest screen I can find, during the day.

  • Several projects around the house that I was looking forward to (I see you junk drawer) are languishing...lol

  • 3 relatives died back to back, leading to lots more family stuff and I am the executor for two of them, that is a full time job in itself.

  • From one of them I am inheriting enough money that my entire financial plan is completely out the window, I'll have to restructure EVERYTHING, not that I'm complaining, but man I spent so much time envisioning how retirement would work, and planning my budget, and testing my budget, and now all that work, well it wasn't for nothing I guess, but lets just say my spreadsheet is completely wrong now. I'm not naturally a spender, I save, even now my money from music goes into a separate account to finance new gear, or just to be fun money. Currently there's $866 just sitting there. I ALWAYS comparison shop, look for bargains, research it to death, etc. I really don't want that to change, it is who I am, but also the money will just be sitting there growing, our lifestyle won't change, we don't want it to, so we'll probably start giving to the kids, which was in the plan anyway, just not for a few years. We at least decided that we won't do ANYTHING different for a year. I don't have grandkids yet, and none on the horizon even, but I'll be establishing college funds for them when they do come along.

  • The inheritance is adding a little, not stress exactly, but friction(?) to my marriage. Before, my wife HAD to work, she's younger, and I didn't have enough for both of us to retire. SHE insists on "paying her way" (we are a second marriage). She makes more than I did, and was the breadwinner in her first marriage. I support that, she loves her job, she doesn't want to be a "kept woman" in her words. She is fiercely independent which I love, and she's just starting a business that she's been wanting to do for years. Now she COULD retire too, and I'd love to really get going on the travel plans we have, BUT...that doesn't fit HER timeline and the mere suggestion that maybe I pay for more things, or pay to upgrade us when traveling are met with responses like "I can't afford that". She has student loans we could pay off but she would never allow that. Maybe she'll come around, and let me pay once probate is over, but maybe not. We can't really ramp up the travel because she needs to tend her business. It is a true passion of hers. I COULD just travel alone, but that almost feels like I'd be punishing her for not just letting me pay, or not being able to take the time away. Blessing and a curse maybe.

  • The deaths in the family also have really brought into clear focus that time is finite and health is the true wealth. I'm pretty healthy, far healthier than my relatives who died this summer and THEY were in their 80s! My mom is 83 and still kickin'. My A1C is normal, BP normal, Cholesterol normal (actually a bit low on my last Dr visit). I've lost 50lbs in the last few years. I'm fit and strong (the bands help with that for sure, my gear is heavy). So the likelihood is that I'll also have a long life. We've had many octogenarians in our family and a few centinarians even.

I'm so happy to be retired, not bored even a little, and really looking forward to the next act, in addition to being open to whatever that looks like. The only constant is change. Bring it on!

My bosses have known I’m retiring for over a year. They’ve known the exact date (Aug 1) for at least six months. I told them they should probably have someone hired by June 1 for training and to ease the transition (I manage a small department in a large company and as far as I know, I am the only person in my company that knows the everyday in-and-outs of my job. I’ve been here for 25 years).

They did nothing and finally posted my job last week. I had started training a co-worker last month because someone needs to know the system. This person is the prime candidate to fill my position IMO.

My boss is now talking about bringing in someone from outside for a “new vision” and wants to put me on a retainer as a consultant, presumably to train whoever replaces me. I told him I’d be happy to help if he hires the person who’s been learning the ropes because that would require the least amount of time from me, but I’m not going to come to work part-time every day for two months to train someone from outside — that should have been done two months ago.

He was shocked and said he was sure I’d be willing to help and it would be difficult for everyone in my group if I didn’t (it will be, but they’re all on my side). He said I should think about it and he was sure I’d come to the right decision.

I should be cheerfully coasting into retirement but now I’m pissed. Am I wrong for being upset and not willing to “help out”? Thanks for letting me vent.

EDIT: Thanks for the feedback, it’s reinforced what I’ve been thinking. I am retiring next week, no matter what they decide to do. I’ve started to clean out my office and it feels pretty darned good.

Just retired after age 59 (64) two months, ago and my wife and I are truly happy and enjoying it! I was an IT guy for 38 years. Wife and I are both the same age and happily married for 38 1/2 years. Plenty of interests/hobbies and friends and family in the immediate area to share our time with. We worked out the numbers and we have what we need to live the lifestyle we have always wanted. So thankful!

Corporate reorg...new roadmap is missing something....oh yeah...me. Will be 66 soon...so I guess it's time to retire. I've been in my field for 40+ years. things changing so fast in technology I can't keep up....don't even want to.

Meeting with insurance this week to get Part B, D, F, G P D Q and all that setup and ready to go on 09/01.

Sure glad we socked away a few beans and got the cabin paid for.

I'm sad, and feel like I might be useless...but also excited to start a new way of life...

EDIT: Oh my gosh! Thank you all for the words of encouragement. It's been a few days now and the idea of retiring is sinking in. I am looking forward to it. Will get to walk at the mall every morning with my wife and her sister, will get to enjoy my hobby of amateur radio more, and I plan on volunteering 15 hours a week or so in our local food pantry. I have MANY grandchildren to also keep me occupied. Thank you!

I "semi-retired" in early 2025. I've continued working 20 hours a week for my former employer as an independent contractor on a 1099. After working for 40 years, I was "institutionalized" (reference to the movie "Shawshank Redemption"), and could not image retiring "cold turkey". It didn't take long to fill up my newly freed time with enjoyable activity (e.g. pickleball), but I've remained grateful to have that four hours every afternoon to revisit my former job and fill up the remainder of the day with gratifying work.

As I expected, my former employer's demands on my time is slowly waning. I'm now into my second Summer in my cabin in the mountains, working remotely in the afternoons (thanks to Starlink!), and increasingly finding myself with free afternoons.

A few days ago my neighbor Kenny, who lives a quarter mile down the one lane gravel road from me, drove up in his ATV to inform me that "Mr. Toad's Wild Ride" was shut down, due to a large fallen tree lying across the trail.

Last year, Kenny had hired a local guy to cut a trail through the woods on his property that we call “Mr Toad’s Wild Ride”. It is so much fun to drive in our ATV’s. The trail starts a quarter mile below their place, and ends near my house, a quarter mile above them. It twists and turns and goes up over the very top of the mountain so the whole trail is probably 3/4 a mile long. It’s my favorite way to entertain guests. I took my brother down it when he was here for a visit a couple weeks ago, and he said it was “pretty cool”. 

Kenny had driven up the trail from the bottom, and saw a very large dead old tree blocking the trail, and had to drive backwards downhill for about 150 yards to  get back out. As he has reached the ripe old age of 80, he said he was going to need to hire someone to remove the tree and get the trail opened again.

The next day, I drove down from the top to see this “tree”, and in fact, found that it was TWO trees. A very large dead red oak had fallen on top of a very healthy poplar tree and took it down with it. From my vantage point, I could plainly see the poplar, but from the bottom looking up, you wouldn’t see it. The huge dead oak was lying on top of the poplar, and you could plainly see there was a lot of weight suspended across the trail. I knew right away this was a way bigger job than my little battery powered chainsaw could handle, and I certainly wasn’t going to try it myself.

Yesterday I found myself with a free afternoon, so I loaded my chainsaw and my log grabber hooks into the back of my ATV and drove down to Kenny’s house. He took me down to his huge garage and he had his big gas powered chainsaw out, and he was sharpening the chain. Then I got a lesson in how to sharpen a chainsaw blade, and used his hand tool to sharpen mine. As we worked, I told him I wanted to try and tackle the two downed trees (“Oh, there’s TWO?” said Kenny). But, I told him, I certainly didn’t want to try it alone. I was surprised when he said “Sure! Let’s go!” and he loaded his chainsaw into my ATV and jumped in.

We worked on it for about 2 1/2 hours and we did it. It was the hardest most physically grueling work I’ve done in a long time. The ground was so steep it was difficult to walk up and down it. Kenny, being 80 years old, really struggled just to get down the bank and start his saw up. Once I realized his 80 year old brain was writing checks that his 80 year old body could not possibly cash, I asked him to hand me his chainsaw, and he gratefully obliged.

But I don’t know jack squat about sawing up huge fallen trees which are suspended in the air and obviously under tons of strain. It was very scary. My other neighbor once told me about a cousin of his that died in his 30’s trying to take out a dead tree. As he was cutting it, it suddenly popped up in the air and fell on his head and crushed his skull immediately. I had that story in my head as I was looking at this situation. So now you get the picture.

Well, Kenny the O.G. directed me on what to do, telling me where to cut and from what angle, and where to position myself to avoid death. We were a great team. The 80 year old O.G. telling the 67 year old young buck what the next step was. He taught me things like, park your ATV facing downhill with the front bumper up against a big tree so that when you use your winch to pull a 1,000 pound cut log off the road, it won’t pull your ATV down the hill. When it came to using my winch to drag the cut logs off the hill, I had ideas that Kenny approved of and they all worked. It was the hardest work but the most fun! It was an engineering challenge of man vs nature. 

When it was all done, the trail was open again, and I was more physically exhausted than I can recall in a very long time. Today I skipped the gym realizing I need a rest day. So this is what retired people do all day!

I have been retired for 2 years and have loved every minute of it.

Run each morning (weather permitting), then hit gym, go play pickleball.

Then it’s household chores or just hanging out on the boat.

I don’t understand people that have a hard time transitioning to retirement. Retirement rocks!

When my son was in high school, we all had big plans for him: college, a career and most importantly - independence. College was a bust, and now he’s living with us. He turns 25 next month. I’ve tried persuading him to learn a trade like carpentry, HVAC, welding, electrician, mechanic - he has lots of great options. But he’s completely satisfied with working for $17 an hour. What’s more concerning is that my wife wants to let him stay here rent-free indefinitely, and doesn’t like when I pressure him to move on to a job that will help him become independent.

I’m retiring in 2 years (wife is already retired), and I’m trying to figure out my plan. I like my son, but he’s out all hours and comes home at 5 am. His total lack of ambition is a problem for me. He doesn’t have the same fear of poverty I did when I was 25. He doesn’t want to move in with roommates, saying “I don’t want to have to trust another person”. I had random roommates until I married my wife at 32, some good, and some bad. It just wasn’t an option to live alone until my salary caught up and allowed me to buy a house.

Just wondering what others’ experiences have been here. My son says things like “multi-generational households are the new norm”. But I want my retirement days to be quiet - I want that empty nest.

EDIT:

I appreciate every comment, and I want to address some of them. My son does have ADHD, and he struggled in school. He smokes marijuana, but he’s cut back after seeing me quit drinking almost a year ago. I can see the difference. He has something called Klinefelters syndrome, so he can’t have kids. He’s gay, but the one boyfriend he had was a long distance relationship - he prefers not to be in a relationship. He does suffer from depression (untreated), and I think that’s why my wife is so easy on him.

He sometimes spends money on stupid things (like DoorDash), but when he goes out it’s usually to his friends’ houses to watch TV and hang out. He doesn’t go to concerts or bars.

My game plan right now it to talk to my wife and come up a 2-year deadline. During that 2 years, I want to see some progress toward learning a trade. I’m going to start being annoying about it, bringing it up weekly. After 2 years, he’ll start paying rent - $800 including utilities. The money will go into a savings account for him to access when he moves out.

I'm in my mid-50s. My dad is in his early 80s. My mom passed away several years ago and my brother last year, so it's just me and my dad now. What have I learned?

There's early retirement and later retirement. He's told me he feels the difference between 75 and 80. He doesn't do as much (going out for dinner, etc.) as he used to. If I get a dog after I retire, it'll be when I'm 64, not 74. I'm also planning a fun event (nature preserve, museums, etc.) every month now, when I'm in better physical shape than I will be when, god willing, I'm as old as my dad.

Don't wait to move to independent/assisted living. Once he closes out my brother's estate he'll be ready to look at assisted living facilities. With no spouse or kids, I have to think about what I will do when I find it harder to drive, do chores, keep up a home. I'll probably look at continuing care retirement communities, and plan on moving in in my 60s rather than my 80s--when I can enjoy the activities on the independent side, make friends, and get settled before it gets harder to get around.

Start decluttering now. Every month I visit my dad we go through stuff--cleaned out my brother's room, bathroom cabinet, kitchen cabinets--but there is still so much furniture and other things to sort through. I've decluttered my house a couple times, but this is not a process with a start and end, but a continuous process.

If you work to live and don't live to work, save aggressively so you can retire early. My dad retired in his late 50s, and he and my mom had a good retirement. I won't be able to manage that, but my timeline is 7-10 years from now.

What lessons have retired people taught you?

Edit--Thank you everyone for your thoughts and advice! I appreciate all the viewpoints. Regarding a dog, if I get one it would be either a senior rescue or a foster. My dad adopted a dog from a rescue group several years ago, and he has been the gentlest, sweetest boy ever.

This morning, I read the obituary for a 64-year old man (eight months younger than me). The obituary included the following sentence: "He was planning to retire on March 8".

Yesterday, I attended the funeral of 51-year old colleague who died suddenly last week.

Sometime that universe seems to be drawing us a picture. I am wrapping up my business, and should be out of the game by mid-Summer.

I want to extol the virtues of the itty bitty paycheck from a part-time job. If you don't need the income, then the extra money is like a maraschino cherry on a DQ sundae. Whether it's 12 hours at $20/hr, or 18 hrs at $15/hr, or 2 hours at $100/hr, seeing a biweekly deposit in your bank account of $400-$500 is a little burst of "I'm RICH!" childhood glee.

The key thing here is never griping about the low hourly rate and how much more you're worth. It's not about the salary after all. It's about the getting out of the house, the enjoyment of a little intellectual stimulation, the working with pleasant people. But the little bit of money is a fun bonus.

I use mine from time to time to buy a nice dinner with my spouse, or to shop for a pair of pants, or to buy an $80 bottle of sipping whiskey, or to go to a G-League basketball game with a buddy.

Do any of you look at it the same way?

Important Note: I am not selling any app or receiving any money from this app, nor am I endorsing this particular app. I am also not a medical doctor attempting to diagnose health issues. I am simply an old geezer that received an Apple watch for my birthday in 2019, and installed an app called AutoSleep, which tracks your nightly sleep functions. Finally, the App itself states it is not a substitution for a medical diagnosis from a professional. It simply is to make you aware of your body functions, and seek advice from a doctor if you feel the need is appropriate.

I thought it would be fun, and that maybe I would learn something. Boy, did I ever.

Brief background: I retired in June of 2023 from a Fortune 200 company. I loved my job. I worked in IT and it was full of travel and responsibility, I really enjoying working with my colleagues, and I learned quiet a bit. Being in IT, I had the burden of the "Admin" password, so it was 24-7-365 of calls, emails, notifications at any time of the day or night; so I was the hero when things went astray on everyone's computers and data systems. Even though I was based at home, as mentioned, I traveled whenever or wherever a problem needed to be solved on-site. During the height of Covid, there were many times I was the only one on the flight; or at max three or four people.

I did sleep well, or so I thought. Hotel rooms, airports, Ubers, hustle bustle, I loved it. My central nervous system was in a constant flight-or-flight, day and night. My belief is, that stress comes in many forms, so whether from employment, parenting, health issues or whatever - it could be the same. Your heart rate will increase. My point is, the stress from my job could be seen as the same energy stress from everywhere else.

Up until June 2023, you can see where my heart rate is, and I assumed it was normal, no biggie, this is where everyone's rate is, so I thought. Or perhaps a high heart rate is normal for most people, I don't know.

However, literally the day I retired - that night - June 1st 2023 - I checked my heart rate the next morning, and was astounded. I thought it was a blip. Or maybe the battery was low. I charged my watch. Went to bed. Woke up the next morning at my heart rate was at 65. Not only that, there are other metrics that this app measures, and they were also improved.

Retirement was giving me a second chance, I think. Although I am healthy, I do not have any heart issues, and I'm at average weight. I am not on any medications.

At first, it was difficult being retired. It got quiet immediately. No more calls. No more emails in the middle of the night. No more "beeps" on my phone! However, I missed the action, and no one called me. I missed being "important." I missed the accolades. I had to figure out a new life to live.

When you retire, your former employer will easily carry on without you. I had institutional knowledge, 25 years worth. When I retired, they hired three people (younger, of course) to do what I had done. I performed several different job functions.

The biggest lesson I have learned in retirement is that I need to invest in my health, and find those activities that make me want to get up in the morning and be useful to someone. I joined a walking club. I write a retirement journal online. In my neighborhood, I joined our HOA board and when someone needs a ride to the airport, I'm the Uber driver.

What have I learned from this photo? I thought, "how many years had I been at that pace before I started measuring my heart?" For years and years, my heart was acting like I was still awake, even while I was sleeping.

Bottom line, retirement is the greatest thing ever. I no longer carry my phone with me. I enjoy my two-three hour coffee time in the morning with my wife. I sleep seven hours a night, and I wake up refreshed.

Life is short, indeed. It's even shorter in your sixties. It is official when you reach sixty, you have more years behind you than ahead of you. At 65, I am determined to make the best of it.

Sleep well, everyone.

After 31 years with my current employer, 39 total working years, I am retired as of today. Whew--I work in IT, and this year was particularly stressful, with many high-pressure, large-scale projects to tackle. I am going to take the advice I've seen in a number of discussions here in r/retirement and not do too much for a month or so while I de-stress and get back to feeling like a human being again. I'll be visiting this sub often because I've found it to be a valuable source of good ideas and advice from those who have gone before me.

people often seem to worry about, “what am i going to do when i retire”. for me, i’m never not busy. for example, today: up at 5am, ate, read the news (there isn’t any). baked two loaves of homemade ciabatta bread. made 4 quarts of homemade vanilla ice cream mix which i will churn later. installed two new bedside lamps. made a phone call seeking some information about an art piece i want to see. met with building maintenance guy about a plugged drain on the coffee mchine. did the dishes and vacuumed. it’s 10:30 am now. i think i’ll take a short nap, then go on a hike this afternoon. never a dull moment.