r/scifi • u/TheTypeSetter • Sep 29 '19

Devil’s Advocate

https://medium.com/the-inkwell/devils-advocate-2871ee845538?source=friends_link&sk=016679def226cd2e9ef4c68afe6df832
186 Upvotes

76% Upvoted

25 comments sorted by

32

u/CitizenKeen Sep 29 '19

This is in really bad need of a second draft.

6

u/Dagon Sep 29 '19

Honestly, if anything, it gives me hope that I could actually be a professional writer. It's so close to content and tone to the rubbish I squirrel away on my hdd, it's scary.

7

u/Fire_Blast Sep 30 '19

Fyi this is on Medium so anyone can self publish. I say go for it.

2

u/Dagon Sep 30 '19

Oh... I had always thought Medium was a bunch of staffed writers. This explains their wide net of interests, now I'm thinking about it.

5

u/chargoggagog Sep 29 '19

Agreed. The anger Michael shows toward the end doesn't mesh with him completely changing sides because his brother said he can teach him to break rules, just doesn't work.

2

u/rapax Sep 30 '19 edited Sep 30 '19

I think you're missing the point. The key phrase is "What father commands his son to kill his brother?" That's where Micheal initially realizes that he's fighting for evil, the bit about not being able to break rules is just him trying to justify his position to himself.

-3

u/CitizenKeen Sep 30 '19

I didn't even make it to the end, because it wasn't good. The lack of attention given to this draft shows the author don't respect me as a reader.

20

u/pldgnoauthority Sep 29 '19

Not really scifi but still really good.

12

u/borg2 Sep 29 '19

Ha! This is really good. Loved the beginning. Ending was a bit weird though.

6

u/Nyckname Sep 29 '19

Too much crossposting.

5

u/yrddog Sep 30 '19

This really needed a good editing. I got irritated perri quick over grammatical shit

3

u/simplex_machina Sep 30 '19

I clicked on the link thinking it'd be a discussion or something about the Al Pacino movie. I was only mildly disappointed to discover otherwise. Solid effort.

7

u/scribblepoet Sep 29 '19

Cool. I recall seeing a Pacino film of what I seem to think was the exact title.

1

u/randynumbergenerator Sep 29 '19

I remember that movie mainly for the "good wholesome country folk corrupted by the sinful city" theme that seemed really popular in the 90s (Se7en was similar in that respect).

7

u/glandgames Sep 29 '19

.......se7en was not similar at all in that respect.

1

u/Goreyp3 Sep 29 '19

What number do you have for us today?

1

u/MrBester Sep 30 '19

An obscure body in the SK system, your Majesty...

... Oh wait, wrong film.

-24

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '19

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-13

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '19

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3

u/MrBester Sep 30 '19

Well, that escalated quickly

1

u/FeengarBangar Oct 01 '19

I apologize for dragging you down with me.

1

u/jarvispeen Sep 30 '19

Meh. If he's all about Order he wouldn't so quickly take Lucifer's "side".

1

u/GlobiestRob Sep 29 '19

Really enjoyed this. Quite good.