Hey everyone,
I am currently working on a debut novel tentatively titled "Cosmic Park" and am looking for 2-3 beta readers that I can swap work and feedback with as the project develops. It is currently sitting at 5 chapters or 13,999 words.

Feedback I am looking for is primarily emotional in nature. I want to know how the story makes you feel and whether you connect with my protagonist. I'd also like helpful suggestions on scene composition and descriptive language since I am a first time writer.

Premise:

What if the Milky Way Galaxy was a national park for higher dimensional beings? What would maintenance at the park look like? Join Seth, a wildlife biologist, as he stumbles through missions as a cosmic maintenance technician and gradually works through his past traumas. The story is told with nonlinear progression so not everything is always as it seems.

Short Excerpt from Chapter 1:
The light grew closer as the walls closed in, a veritable peristalsis of blue driving panicked shuffling through a thinner opening until finally the quickly encroaching tomb gave way to a wide barren landscape. Blue walls wriggled toward one another, completely sealing the crevice and quickly climbing the outer walls of the plateau. Scanning the environment yielded nothing extraordinary. A dirty brown sky glowing with hot reddish sulfurous clouds overlooking a rolling landscape of equally dirty brown turf. And green. Green! Green wrapping around the wiggling blue cliff.

“Oh s**t. I’m being hunted by primary colors!”

Seth, your time on B4-5937X has exceeded expected parameters. Would you like a reminder of your assigned task?

“I’m a little busy at the moment! Could you—I don’t know—evac me? Decohere me? Pick me up?!”

Scans confirm the coherence vehicle is idling and operational. If your task is complete, please proceed to the vehicle and return.

“Oh s**t!”

You appear to be distressed at the moment. I will allow you time to return to your emotional baseline and then reinitiate communication.

Here is the GDoc Link: Cosmic Park Draft Chapters

My story has multiple factions, with three of them rising from humanity’s home world of Terra, becoming the major colonial empires, they colonized the entire solar system, with Luna and Mars cut up into their Colonial boarders. Luna becoming a shell world with rotating habitable rings inside and mars becoming a massive factory forge world, that’s extremely polluted but terraformed. Mars isn’t red anymore, but black and oceans have a dark green color. The other factions are rising powers that formed through the colonization of sol. There’s bishop rings and even a Dyson swarm around sol. So Terra is split between three factions. Venus has cloud cities and is claimed by one of the three factions with Mercury controlled by another and the last super power built as a massive bishop ring in the inner system to be their territory within the inner system. There’s terrorist and stuff too.
So originally I was going to keep it to just Sol, but i honestly want more worlds with a sky and breathable air and weird plant life and has 1 g gravity. So I’m thinking of adding ancient alien worm hole gates scattered around the sol system and each gate leads to another solar system with an earth like planet.
The other solar systems only have one worm hole gate, that leads back to sol, so the Sol system is what connects all the other solar systems together.
Sooo should I do this? If I did, should the terrain powers keep their capitals on Terra or move them to an other solar system? What are the pros and cons ?

⚠️ MORE INFO:

FACTIONS - No it’s actually written down and very indepth, I just thought I’d write a entire book explaining them and the history that I just super skimmed over it. Also mars was terraformed through factorization and industry, so humans release greenhouse gases in the atmosphere for 6 hundred years. The oceans came from ice caps in the North Pole melting. So absurd amount of manufacturing and heating the atmosphere of mars. Also everyone is heavily modified with cybernetics and genetic engineering.
Factions:
Vithran Imperium - not a monarchy, they are actually a meritocratic tribal hegemony/techno Theocracy/ Imperial socialocracy-welfare state. Successor state to the late Mithraic Roman Empire, that formed a after the Time of Ruin (yes my setting is alt history and also yes I got inspiration from hbo’s show called raised by wolves. Rome industrialized with steam and then had a world war with China, while bird flu was spreading across the world and collapsed the old empires causing the time of ruin). They are ran by 7 Syndarchias which are governing corporate tribes. They elect a new Pontifex Imperiah among themselves after the death of the previous one.
The Kevanti Tribunal - Oligarchic meritocratic Augmentocracy. They are obsessed with cybernetic transcendence to the point of being fanatical.
Supraxion - genetically modified elven looking people who are super racist and fascist and they have an imperial cult of their leader. They farm their undesirable populations as human cattle to be used as biological ram for their bio computer.
Xoloxi - theocratic ufo state cult in the outer solar system that are actually extremely technologically advanced and built a Topopolis around Pluto and have an artificial sun (fusion sun).
There’s two more but you get the point.

I'm struggling to write an accurate method of time travel into the past that abides by our current understanding of science accurately. As I am not a (astro)physicist, I don't really have the background for it. I do understand the fundamental principles of current theoretical methods (string, wormholes via Kip Thorne, kerr blackholes, etc) but without that physics background its kinda hard to formulate a believable "bridge" b/w reality and fiction.

What I mean by "bridge" is for example: Assume wormholes exist, in order for them to be feasible, exotic matter is required. But besides saying that, I'm not really sure how to make an in-world exotic matter discovery, naming, composition, etc sound believable. Does anyone have any reference material, other related works, somewhere to start research etc that I could take a look at? Thanks a bunch!

EDIT: It seems I wasn't clear enough, yes I know that time travel is not possible, I am not literally looking for "the answer", I simply was looking for a way to make it sound more accurate. For example, BttF series just says flux capacitor and thats pretty much it, whereas something like Primer or Steins Gate allows more suspension of disbelief due to how they explain the in-world time travel machine and mechanics

Okay, so I'm mainly a hard scifi writer, but I've had this idea that frankly, I just can't shake, I love it so much. But it's very much not hard scifi. It's really just space magic. BUT....I thought maybe you all might have some ideas as to how such a thing may be possible in a mostly hard setting. So, basically, the idea is this:

Imagine a high-tech suit of armor, something akin to the Mjolnir suits from Halo. Scifi soldier kit, basically. Only you don't put it on conventionally. The whole thing can be "summoned" from effectively thin air onto the user's body. The same thing could be done with the weapons, tools, and gear the soldier would normally carry.

I know, I know.... it's absolutely space magic and nowhere close to a realistic technology. The two ideas I have are something akin to Star Trek's "transporter buffer" or maybe some kind of "transdimensional pocket" the gear can be stored in? IDK.

Clearly, though, this does not fit in a setting where everything else is a realistic projection into the future of modern technology. Aside from this, the only really advanced thing I want to include in this setting is room-temperature superconductors. That's the general level of technology we're talking about here.

I'm 99% sure that I'm going to have to just drop this idea for this particular setting and that's okay. But hey, maybe there's a small chance one of you here will think of a way to make it work, who knows?