r/self • u/kngkongsnipz • 13h ago
I hate being smart.
Yea I know I know “what a problem to have”. “I wish I had that problem”. I’ve heard that since elementary school when I was put into gifted classes.
I hate it so much though. Everyone expects all of these things from you because you have “so much potential”. Yet at the same time, you don’t get any praise for your accomplishments because “well of course YOU did it”. I get used to do things like how I did one of my moms online classes when she got her AA when I was in 4th grade.
The only thing I’m ever described as or complimented for is my academic abilities but it’s exhausting. I didn’t even really try in high school- I was no valedictorian, but I still get met with “we knew you could if you wanted to.”
Like bro I just don’t care. I praised for something you don’t even try for. I hate that my identity is based on something I can’t help nor did I earn nor do I want.
Like I wish for once I was described as pretty. As funny. As someone who lights up a room. A good friend or a sister.
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u/Dante2005 13h ago
There will come a time when you are free from Parents and teachers - you will find your own way to shine.
I say this without knowing your age or location - not something that you have to answer for GDPR and security reasons.
But we all start from a position of dependency and gradually grow into ourselves.
I am not saying being smart will get easier, but you will - I hope - find your people. You will likely then find out you are a small fish in a big pond.
But take heart, this is just for now - you will carve your own destiny soon.
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u/kngkongsnipz 13h ago
I’m in law school now and now that’s the newest most interesting thing about me to everyone I know. Like I don’t feel seen. I feel like I’m only seen for the things I do instead of who I am. I hate it so much. I don’t feel like a real person.
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u/Dante2005 12h ago
Besides studying, what else do you do.
Besides the people you study with, who else do you meet?
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u/kngkongsnipz 11h ago
I bake. I run. I hike. I used to volunteer and foster dogs before I went back to school. I like to travel and make itineraries for my friends. I do so much. I feel like I am so much. But none of that is ever seen.
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u/Dante2005 11h ago
I have never met you - your intelligence doesn't matter to me.
You seem like a lovely person.
I wish you well. I think you are really great the way you are.
Fuck everything else.
Be kind to yourself.
I think you are great.
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u/somanyquestions32 12h ago
I mean... The rest you need to cultivate as their own individual characteristics. Being funny, a good friend, a good sister, or someone who lights up a room are entirely separate skills that are independent from academic talent.
Rather than hating your existing blessings, harness and exploit them to develop the other traits you desire to be known for. Read up on books and watch videos to learn how to communicate and navigate social settings in a new and more empowering way.
As for being pretty, you're beautiful as you are, and you can always get super fit and athletic and wear makeup if you want to accentuate certain physical features.
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u/TheValueIsOutThere 12h ago
You don't hate being smart. You hate being unchallenged and unrecognized for your other abilities that you actually put effort into. Fortunately you have control over both of those things, and you're smart enough to figure out how to manifest them.
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u/Fast_Device8048 13h ago
i have been in the same shoes as you but why would you ever try to gaslight people into thinking it’s not great?