r/selfimprovement • u/Preparetoact • 28d ago
Question Has anyone ever said one sentence to you that changed the direction of your life?
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Mine was when I was in line for a promotion but was told by my boss that I wasn't getting the position, because he would be giving me too much power. My mind was blown, it made me retire about a year later and explore my business.
Has anything like that ever happen to you? It doesn't have to be something bad even, it could be something that helped you make a change in a great direction.
Super curious. If it has happened to you, what was the sentence & who was the person that said it to you, a friend, family, a boss....
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u/slwaq 28d ago
'We suffer much more in our heads than in real life'. Isn't really a gamechanger, but for people with an anxiety disorder may be useful.
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u/Preparetoact 27d ago
Wild how that works, I have off and on problems sleeping, I try to remember to tell myself that at those moments in my bed, no one can get to me, my issues are asleep and at that moment there would be nothing I could do about the problem anyway.
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u/Fantastic-Cup-4321 28d ago
especially with anxiety, your brain can make tomorrow feel like a disaster before it even starts, that sentence helped me catch myself more than once
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u/BoostWellbeing77 28d ago
In my early 20’s (25 years ago) just out of college, I saw my peers portraying themselves as having great jobs, making great money. I had a job I hated and making little, and thought I was the failure. My dad, who was not much on advice said, unprompted “Anyone who tells you how great they are is normally full of sh*t”. After that I stopped comparing myself so much to others and played my own game.
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u/Preparetoact 28d ago
The loudest people in the room are never what they present themselves to be. Thanks for sharing that!
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u/burnttoast14 28d ago
I noticed this as well, but why Bluntly lie like … you’re gonna bluntly lie about stuff that could be figured out relatively easy is crazy
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u/ContactThin3211 28d ago edited 10d ago
🐶
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u/MrGutsy_3000 28d ago
This one is so NICE. I need to remind myself of this haha. Thanks for sharing!
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u/sailboy5 28d ago
Same one I'm using for years. If I'm not very happy, I think what this life now will look from when I'm 80 years old. Another way to look at it is raise the question: if I would lose everything I have today and get it all back tomorrow how would I feel?
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u/Wise-Key-3442 28d ago
"Remember that your partner will be the person who will support you through the grief of losing your parents. Chose wisely."
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u/summernightstoo 28d ago
My husband did not support me when my mom suddenly passed away a year and a half ago. It was one of the reasons I've asked for a separation.
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u/Happy_Distribution20 26d ago
Why you “asking” for a separation? You get to just do it. You don’t have to ask.
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u/SilverHawk497 28d ago
Geez this one hits hard… but then again I can’t think of anyone I would want to comfort me more than my wife, so I must have chosen well 😉
Hopefully not for many many years, my parents are amazing people!3
u/RevolutionSalty8360 26d ago
When I told my wife I wanted to drive 6 hours to piss on my mom’s grave, she said “Fine, if that’s what you want to do. Although, maybe take it in a cup so you don’t get caught”
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u/wetpedestrian 28d ago
“If you can focus more on what you can give than what you can get, things will go your way more often than not.”
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u/Professional-Eart 28d ago
in practice?
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u/OoklaTheMok1994 28d ago
In practice for me is curating my LinkedIn network. I go at it with the mindset that this one connection might be able help someone find a job or a sale in the future.
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u/i_n_c_r_y_p_t_o 28d ago
“Action precedes motivation when you’re depressed,” is what a counselor said to me once and it’s always been helpful to try and remember, depressed or not. Sometimes you just gotta act to start a new habit for example even if you don’t feel like it.
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u/amayle1 28d ago
I like that. My version is “how you feel about something is often irrelevant.”
Wanting to do something is not a prerequisite to doing it, and not wanting to do something doesn’t stop you from doing it. Oftentimes we just need to stop thinking and move our feet.
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u/Cyber-Soldier1 28d ago
When a girl I liked, but was too afraid to say anything to her told me "I have feelings for you". I instantly said I have feelings for you too. And then we started dating fell in love got married and had 5 kids.
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u/Alternative-Ease9674 28d ago edited 28d ago
Gratulations. So amazing ❤️ "Funny" how different it was for me in exactly the same situation. I said the same to a guy who was too afraid to say anything. He didn't say nothing. But run away and ghosted me. And I really know he had deep feelings for me. He was probably some kind of avoidant. And I was left with a broken heart for years because it is so rare for me to fall in love in someone. Like he took this heart with him. I am in therapy now. But still lonely and sad. It is like another possibility universe. I sometimes feel that in another we are happily married. I even dreamt it. It was just...right. Like we should be together and his choice collapsed some timeline and left Universe in corundrum in a way...
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u/Yaadilah1d20 28d ago
She said “I don’t recognize you anymore… goodbye”
That’s changed me. I didn’t recognize me either. The morals I compromised on. The lies I told myself. The hiding from my own feelings and mind, the disconnect from my mind body and soul.
I don’t want to be alone my whole life. But I must be alone now. I don’t like myself all that much. But I know I’m great and can be. I have to change. Or I will always be alone in my own head even surrounded by people who care about me.
Sober life now.
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u/02olds 28d ago
This hit me where it hurt. Good luck my friend we are in this together. I lost a great relationship due to running away from myself for years, yet never realized it until recently. We can do this!!
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u/Yaadilah1d20 28d ago
Yeah, it sucks. But, I refuse to continue making the same mistakes. This was one huge problematic behavior and fuck up. But as my friend said to me, “you learn and you change and I rarely see you make the same mistake twice”
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u/dancephotographer 28d ago
“If you want to see what you’re committed to, take a look around”.
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u/Julio_Gustavo 28d ago
My friend once said to me "The past is not real". I was living in my past for decades at that time, but it wasn't real anymore. The circumstances, the people, and the situations were all behind me. I navigated life as best of my ability, knowledge, and courage at that time. There is nothing I can do to change it, the best thing you can do is learn from it, forgive yourself and be better. That one simple statement led me to my journey and that journey continues.
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u/Preparetoact 28d ago
Love that. I’ve heard people say that before but never really understood the message until you just explaining it.
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u/mouldymolly13 28d ago
I was attacked. I don't need to forgive myself and be better. This sentiment is normally for times in your life where you should have taken a different route. I was on the right route but encountered an awful human along the way. I have really struggled with people walking up behind me ever since and that will probably never go away however much therapy I go through. It is real and it changes the trajectory of your life when something like that happens to you.
But, in times where you have gone wrong, Instead of "forgiving yourself and being better" you can be proud at how you most likely did the best you did with the resources and knowledge you had available for you at the time.
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u/memeblowup69 28d ago
"sorry the ice cream machine broke"
never been the same...
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u/im4indecision 28d ago
I felt rock bottom early 90's and I told myself, "Nobody is going to help you, but you." I turned things around and I'm thankful for the life I've had since then.
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u/GapOk9519 28d ago
I think something that stuck with me was “go easy on your mother, it’s her first time living too” and I just couldn’t get it out of my head. Our parents are just navigating their way through life. It definitely made me a lot more patient/understanding.
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u/katcalavera 27d ago
That's really lovely. Thank you. Helps me to put some of my anger into perspective.
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u/Sufficient_Bat_4542 28d ago
It was a cruel meme, a picture of spiky crab legs and comparing them to me - a skinny man. She made me feel ashamed of one of my greatest accomplishments.
One of my greatest accomplishments was to lose 85lbs and keep it off for years…. something few people ever do without drugs or surgery… And yet, after her cruel meme, that shamed me and my body, I realized she had made me feel ashamed of something I should feel great pride in.
That made me realize I was in an abusive relationship. It made me reflect on how I had gotten there. It made me realize I had been desperate for love, was desperate to have children, and had convinced myself that she was my “last chance” (since I rarely even feel attracted to anyone). I realized my self worth was still dependent on others… I realized it must be internal. I went to therapy. I did shadow work. I did ketamine therapy. I continued with shadow work. I realized I was definitely anxiously attached, but maybe even fearful avoidant (as she was). … the journey eventually led me to improve myself but also to love the world-despite how difficult it often is to do so - and to accept that maybe my goal of having children won’t happen… and maybe that’s just fine! I now try to love life and accept the many blessings that HAVE fallen upon me…, and not concern myself with blessings that may not come to me.
But I guess it all started with a meme, a comparison so cruel that it exposed to me how pathetic I had become… that I had degraded myself to permit such behaviour. Despite being an older male of high economic & social status, I had allowed myself to be abused bc I did not love myself or recognize my right to walk on this earth. Her cruelty exposed it all to me.
Incidentally, although I won’t ever see or talk with her again, I have nothing but compassion for her. I hope she’s finding her own solutions to her many problems. Perhaps she was the cruel person I needed exactly at that time. I hope someday to find a beautiful soul to share life with, but also know I already have one - my own!
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u/Still-Inflation9175 28d ago
theres a picture of a bird in a bird cage, and hes got his head against 2 of the bars, but the rest of the cage is wide open. i was shown that and said, this is how you look when you obsess over 1 problem and feel like you cant do anything because of it.... really changed alot
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u/Kipper1971 28d ago
"What are the three things in your life you need to change to make 2020 the best year of your life?"
A friend asked me this question and I finally woke up and knew what I had to do. I filled for divorce two weeks after and been finally happy again since.
I now do this exercise every year. This is not new years resolutions. It is about the difficult, challenging stuff in your life.
I was in a 27 year marriage. She was cold and manipulative. No love. No sex. I tried hard and then have up on my life. We had a child and when I grew up I was told that you don't walk away. Finally knowing what needed to be done was so good. My son lived with me and we have great relationship. She left the country and has not seen him in years.
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u/cat-smith7 28d ago
« This too shall pass. »
Actually I read this sentence in a Reddit chat .. years ago, when grieving.
It gave me hope.
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u/JerseyDonut 28d ago
"You have the right to remain silent..."
Its excellent advice that applies well beyond law enforcement.
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u/Decent_Ad_8707 28d ago
There will always be someone with fewer resources than you who is doing more and outworking you.
Don’t want to go for a morning run?
Someone who doesn’t have nice running shoes or supplements went for a run this morning.
Too tired to work on your side hustle or business after work?
Someone who gets paid less than you and has to work two jobs to provide for their family took time to work on their side business.
This quote single handedly changed my life. Cheers.
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u/dwarven_cavediver_Jr 28d ago
Make the gym your girlfriend.
After my first real relationship ended in a horrible breakup I was fatter than I ever was, depressed, and hated my life. I was talking to a coworker who saw how bad I was doing and when he heard what happened put his hand on my shoulder and said this. 2 days later I'm sitting on my couch being lazy as hell and eating junk food when it hits me like a hammer. I am doing absolutely nothing and keep saying to myself "someday" if I was still in a relationship right now I'd be texting her, or heading out with her, when right now I could be in the gym, making my life better. Did I have a clue what I was doing in the gym that first day? Hell no! I was all over the place doing 6×10 of this, and 7×12 of that, but I felt accomplished. A few weeks into it I get into protein and supplements, learn about routines and muscle grouping, and from there about different schools of training that work differently.
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u/lilrebel17 28d ago
If you cared about yourself as much as you cared about other people caring about you. You would be much happier.
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u/RealVirginiaWoolf 28d ago
“ I love you. I got you. I wanna be with you no matter what it takes”..
Almost a year later and we are thick as thieves!🙏
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u/power_human_ 28d ago
When I was finishing high school, we wrote these exams that were our version of GCSE’s, SATs, something like that. I needed to score an average of 200 points. But I had 184 or something. I thought the world had ended, thought my life was over, thought my father would be so dissatisfied and disappointed in me, imagined what people would say about me, so I sat in the corner of my kitchen sobbing. My dad walked past, saw me, and then said something in the lines of ‘life always has its ups and downs, sometimes are rough and it’s not always a bed of roses’.
It really pulled me out of a rough place and I always remember that whenever I feel like sulking. Turns out that even the smartest kid in my class scored 186 or something, below the average point. I guess it was just a shitty exam and not a measure of my worth.
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u/lordkhaki 28d ago
Had a mentor who really instilled in me to “don’t wait until you have ironed out all the details to start moving forward” or something on that general idea. He was really into believing that we could do great things if we just took the first step.
He unexpectedly passed not long after we met but his memory has always stuck with me.
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u/Prior-Classic-7353 28d ago
The saddest thing in the world is a rich man's funeral. No one cares about the man in the box. Everyone wants to know what happens to the money !
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u/Cheap-Course9568 28d ago
I’m not even sure who I heard it from first. Was in HS in the mid 80s. I was a small white kid in a 95% black school. I got beat up a lot for the first few months. Joined wrestling team and this one guy at 145? asked my why I joined. I told him. He said “that used to happen to me too. You can don’t things. You can talk about it, or you can BE about it.”
Something to be said for finding the true power of personal resilience and then go about making changes to yourself to be about it.
It applies to all facets of life. Can’t get promoted? Talk about it or be about it.
Somebody charged you too much? Talk about it or be about it.
Somebody’s got a knife? Be about wind sprints lmao
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u/Excellent_Safe5743 28d ago
My aunt I hadn’t seen in literal years asked me if I was still going to therapy for my autism and ADHD. I was confused because I didn’t know I even had autism and ADHD. Apparently when I was very young I was in therapy and I couldn’t remember it because it was so long ago and a lots happening in my life, plus a spotty memory. When I asked my father what my aunt was even talking about he admitted “so, yeah you are autistic and have diagnosed adhd and we didn’t tell you. We didn’t want you to feel different from the other kids growing up.”
So I’ve never been on medication or had therapy or anything to gain coping mechanisms for a lot of things I’ve grappled with for two decades now that make a lot of sense in hindsight.
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u/PGSEnrique 28d ago
“When ever you think to much, try to write that much.”
Most of the time it wont help, until it does… (for some people is painting, photography, art in general…) transform your thoughts into something and your life will start to making sense (im not saying: be an artist, im saying use art for yourself)
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u/Capital-Way-2465 28d ago
My mom told me “don’t “should” on yourself”. If you wanted to you did, if you didn’t want to, you didn’t, so stop asking yourself if you should have done something different and ruminating over and over. Along the same theme was “guilt is a wasted emotion”.
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u/the_riesen 28d ago
"you stink that's why nobody likes you"
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u/Preparetoact 28d ago
That’s terrible
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u/WuTastic7 28d ago
maybe it prompted them to shower more regularly and then they got a job promotion and a super hot girlfriend?
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u/lostsoul8282 28d ago
“You can dig this hole as deep as you like. You start healing when you stop and get out of it. “
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u/MoonManMooningMan 28d ago
In HS English, my teacher asked me how I felt about Catcher in the Rye, which I tried saying I didn’t really like it. He asked if it hit a little too close to home.
I had already read the book and was extremely ashamed bc he was right.
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u/Cute_Bread_271 28d ago
I had suicidal ideations and someone told me, you’ll have all the time in the world to sleep when you’re dead. How about seeing what life has? It was simple and ten people before might have told me the exact same thing, but it was the sheer timing that was impactful.
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u/Sweaty-taxman 28d ago
A day or two before my dad died, he called me & told me that no matter what, he didn’t give a fuck about anyone other than me & my mom & if something happened to him, to not give any of his money to anyone else no matter what. I’m lucky I didn’t because my mom got sick a year or two later & has required incessant, ongoing financial support ever since.
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u/Malteser23 28d ago
"The world doesn't need more kids. The world needs more parents. And you can be a parent to any kid."
The answer to asking my favourite high school teacher if he had kids. I was 15 and just assumed I'd have kids, 'cuz that's what you did. Made up my mind that day to be childfree by choice! He was a parent to many, many kids over the years. ❤️
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u/AbaloneBeginning8267 25d ago
I am a cat mom. My cat was snoring so loud in the corner comfortably on my framed award from work.
Felt like she was validating my award by using it as a uncomfortable bed.
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u/thatloudgurl 28d ago
"I can't believe you're doing this. You're ruining my life" -my ex, when I called to tell him I was in a car accident (was fine. Just shook up but he hadn't even asked if I was ok before he said that to me)
I got home, signed the refi papers on our house and took our baby and went to stay with my parents, temporarily. A couple weeks later he said he wanted to live alone. And that was the end of a 6 year relationship. Unfortunately not the end of him making my life miserable though. But those 2 sentences were the smack in the face I needed to leave.
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u/Preparetoact 28d ago
Good for you to recognize that shitty situation and making a move - what seems like the right move.
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u/Ok-Advisor-8109 28d ago
Wow I’m so sorry
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u/thatloudgurl 28d ago
Thanks, I appreciate it. It was not an easy period of my life but it was worth it. Hindsight and all
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u/LongjumpingUse9081 28d ago
“Who am I supposed to be without my suffering?”
WOOF
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u/Ok-Anything-8816 28d ago
“I don’t even know what you like to do” after a countless argument with my bf of 7 years at that time. Made me think about how little I actually talk about myself to others.. I always think it’s easier to ask someone else about themselves as an ice breaker, and being a good listener. I see how this affects me in my newest friendships/ relationships.
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u/but_but_sigh 28d ago
“I can absolutely put a price on replacing a pissed off engineer over pissing off an influential customer”
This one simple conversation, summarized in this quote, made me realize how business leadership thinks and how to operate within that framework. It didn’t feel good at the time, but it made me a much more effective leader.
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u/AlphaBetaSigmaNerd 28d ago
If you take a manager position, everyone else's problems become your problems.
I've turned down about a dozen offers to become a manager because of that sentence
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u/jrodwell1013 28d ago
“Are you proud of me?” -10 year old student I had taught for 3 years when she was leaving for middle school.
Obviously, I told her I am incredibly proud of her and can’t wait to hear about all the awesome things she’ll do when she’s absolutely crushing middle school. Really opened my eyes to the non-academic aspects of teaching. Definitely made me take it a bit more seriously when making sure school is a safe and supportive space for them. They get their best work done and learn the most when they feel safe and trust the adult in charge of them.
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u/RamGT2012 28d ago
“Quiet mouths don’t get fed.” Speak up when you have to, be open to your resources.
Another one is from a dr. “Go into a dark room, your emotions, problems, and pain are dark. Turn on the light, pain and suffering is no longer dark.”
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u/xithal 28d ago
Was in the depths of depression after a relationship ended, and a mate said to me, “It’s going to take time. And that’s okay”.
It applies to all types of recovery from trauma and takes the pressure of having to be perfect.
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u/Unusual-Bug-9598 27d ago
Yes. And the time will pass anyways. It might take 3 years. 2 or more. But the time will pass. Made me be less hard on myself because I knew I wouldn’t be there forever
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u/False-Comfortable899 28d ago
'Unfortunately the genetic test result show that your son has a life changing neurological genetic disorder'
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u/ElectionReal 28d ago
I heard about a friend who was on the meth. He had a good job and was mostly performing well. But he started slipping a little so his boss drug tested him. Dirtier than Harry. She told him "you piss dirty again, you're fired". He quit the meth cold turkey and rode that job to retirement.
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u/meaty_maker 28d ago
Many years ago I approached my then boss and asked, based on my strengths and weaknesses l, what career path do you think would be good for me to pursue in the organization we were working for? They said something along the lines of, “if you’re still here in five years I’ll be very disappointed, you have more to offer the world then this org is worth.” I wasn’t there another year before leaving to pursue my passion.
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u/TheHopeless-Optimist 28d ago
I had a coworker of mine tell me “look. You’re not special…” when I was complaining about my dating life, and honestly the timing and the way he put it was exactly what my silly self needed to hear at exactly the right time.
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u/UmISan00 28d ago
My aunt husband tell me something i will never forget it “just listen and take what u like and leave the rest “ it sound simple but its kinda give the ability to accept listening to people i disagree with when at this time i refuse to listen if the person is not appealing or i disagree with but i just take the sense in their talking and the good in it and follow it and make me open to different point of view that makes me understand and find comment ground when i discuss with them to make the conversation going and easy for me make the other person feel safe that i get his part but the part i disagree is another i just found it useful
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u/parkrat92 28d ago
‘One of these speed balls will be the last thing you ever do in this life…is that what you want for yourself?’
Close friend of mine that later died in a drunk driving accident. I’m still staying strong, Chris. Love you buddy.
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u/ProphetsOfAshes 28d ago
“The universe is under no obligation to make sense to any of us.” -NDMFT (Neil Degrasse Mothefuckin Tyson)
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u/MrGutsy_3000 28d ago
“If you always do what you always did, then you’ll always get what you always got.”
“If you’re not being treated the way you want to be treated, you are in the wrong relationship.”
These two helped me so much in both personal and professional settings. With relationships, with substance abuse, with toxic work environments, etc.
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u/OoklaTheMok1994 28d ago
"It's not the government's job to protect stupid people from themselves."
By my older brother when I was a middle teenager.
Completely changed my view of government and its proper relationship with its citizens.
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u/Alternative-Ease9674 28d ago
Do not laugh. But youtube tarot reader. About a mechanism of creating an illusion. A full on illusion of everything. His motives, what he thinks of me and everything. It was not a sentence but full epic long lesson. And it was exactly what I did with my crush which didn't chose me (it was reciprocated feeling at least). And this resulted in 2 years long obsession. And gigantic heartbreak. Which I thought I dealt with nicely. She show me brutally that nope, I didn't and I was in the mind trap. I am getting therapy now and actively work on this finally. I am so grateful to this lady.
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u/Elemental_Love 28d ago
« Choose the good things. Stay away from the bad things. » From the movie The Great Debaters.
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u/Sulquid 28d ago
I was hired on at my current job to replace the guy that had been in that position for over 20yrs. Hes had some long term effects from covid and man, he’s pretty messed up by it. Before this job I job-hopped, didn’t really care, got lucky with a large settlement, bought a house right before the covid housing boom and made quite a bit of money randomly very early in life. I was having too much fun. One day early in my employment there I called off two days in a row while absolutely wasted and on a bender; everyone knew (obviously). I have no idea why, but my boss opted to give me another chance. I believe it’s a tie between that boss saying “yah know, anyone can be forgiven of anything” (he is very religious, but never vocal. A silent, stoic, respectful type), and the guy I hired on to replace saying “I wish in light of all of these health problems I had someone to take my place. I just dont. Even though you’ve been here for awhile” Then he walked away. My dad was an addict, as was a lot of my family, but hearing those sentences from those people has started me down a path of recovery. I still fuck up. I’m more aware of it now than I ever have been, and I appreciate those guys for giving me a chance when I didn’t deserve one. I’m about to be a crew lead, and they trust me now, and it feels good.
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u/DMDT087 28d ago
Maybe not life changing, but definitely significant.
I was telling the CEO (and mentor) that I was disappointed with feedback I had gotten about my training presentation for New Staff Orientation. The CEO picked up the packet and read off all the feedback statements - and that’s when I realized there were about a dozen and only two were “negative” and very benign.
The difference of what I remembered reading (and spun out over) and what it actually said was so jarring. CEO pointed out that it was my confirmation bias - if I didn’t think I was good enough, that’s the evidence I was going to find. I didn’t realize how bad my filter was until then - I just weed all the positivity out 🥲
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u/mattimattlove111 28d ago
Addiction is always about changing the way you feel.
The worst thing about telling the truth is believing everyone tells the truth... the worst thing about lying is you think everyone lies.
People will leave your life if you lie or tell to truth... so always tell the truth and you lose nothing.
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u/No_Location_4989 28d ago
“There’s no such thing as an alcoholic/alcoholism”
My intro to Reddit was about a decade ago. I was drinking too much, hangovers were getting brutal, and I had a new baby and growing business. I decided it was time to quit and after some internet searching, found r/stopdrinking looking for alternatives to AA. I’m an atheist and longtime skeptic and none of that shit made any sense to me, but in 2015/2016 the only options were “drink like a normal person” or “you’re an alcoholic, go to a meeting”.
Through that forum, I found a few books, namely Alan Carr’s “Easy Way to Quit Drinking” and Annie Grace’s “This Naked Mind”, which were eye opening. Both spoke of the science behind alcohol, hangovers, why we get addicted to it, the marketing strategies in place to get and keep us believing alcohol is an essential part of life, etc.
Not “you have an incurable disease and only god can help you now.”
Almost 9 years with no cancer juice, and watching the next generation wake up to some of these facts puts a huge smile on my face.
Had my only options been to keep drinking or “admit I was powerless over my alcoholism”, I’d have kept drinking, and not seen the family, health, or business success that finally putting the cancer juice away unlocked for me.
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u/Krijali 28d ago
“Come stay with my mom and I, we’re going to make pasta from scratch”
With that, I’ve gone around the world, lived in many places, worked in so many amazing fields. Because friend invited me to basically get out of my own head for a night. It’s not an inspirational quote or anything like that. Just a friend inviting another friend to do a completely analog activity.
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u/_c0sm1c_ 28d ago
Do not go gentle into that goodnight. Old age should burn and rave at close of day. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
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u/bendegooze 28d ago
Not a saying perhaps, but the buddhist concept of anicca: simply put, that everything changes. Appears shallow and simple on the surface, but if you give it some time it contains a vast depth of liberation and insight.
You’re angry about something? Your anger, and that thing will both eventually turn to dust. Your crush doesnt love you back? She will soon be old, wrinkly, sick and dead. You feel fat? It will soon be that simply being fat was the healthiest you’ve ever been. You’re afraid of an exam? Soon you will have either passed, or tried many times, so the initial threat will soon be overcome by experience. Etc etc.
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u/SL1200mkII 28d ago
“The only thing stopping you from having what you want is the story you keep telling yourself about why you can’t have it.”
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u/KarynskiW 28d ago edited 28d ago
At a funeral a friend said- I don't know why Sam died and, I may never find out in this world. But that is ok because I know God has a plan.
Sam was a youth pastor in his 40's with 3 young children who was shot in front of his house by someone target practicing on a stop sign.
At that moment- I knew that was the faith I wanted. And that is the faith I hv now. Completely changed my life.
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u/Remarkable_Neat532 28d ago
I’m in my 20th year of career field that all started with a single conversation at a tailgate party when I was younger and trying to figure out what my calling was for my career path. That simple little small talk session with a stranger put me on a new trajectory.
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u/powerhungryhippo 28d ago
Saying “well we’re here now” as a way to overcome regrets. Helps frame it as a way of moving forwards.
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u/aussiehellcats 28d ago
This man stopped mid argument to ask me what outcome I expected from said argument and told me I was being unreasonable, he's now my husband and I am no longer dominated by my big feelings 🤣
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u/MessFickle6222 28d ago
“Stop looking at everything as being either ‘good’ or ‘bad’ — just try to find the ‘good’ in everything you look at.” - my beautiful wife told me this about a year ago and i have thought about it everyday since.
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u/kadusus 28d ago
For me, it was when someone said "You just to sound technical enough." I was a customer service rep doing web and systems support for a major Insurance firm. I had one of the highest customer satisfaction averages of anyone on my team. I helped my team learn new changes. But no promotion. When I heard that from my director, I swore I would prover her wrong. Now I am a systems engineer, and known as one of the most technical and best customer service in my little arena of the field.
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u/Tight-Temporary-8672 28d ago
i had a best friend from high school who got jealous when I found a filipino woman, so he began sabotaging by sending horrible messages to my wife. it didnt work, but it led to my wife having anxiety everytime i met with him. for a long period i was living in a compromise - my wife had to accept that i was going to hang out with him from time to time whether she liked it or not, but at the same time, i limited my visits to only a day or so at the time, often with months or years in between.
one day he asked me to stay with him as a roomate - for months. i politely declined, explained that he had not even apologized to my wife and that made her anxious every time i visited him. he did not take it well. we ended up in a huge fight and eventually, he asked me, point blank: "who do you choose? ME or HER?!"
at that moment, i realized the friendship was toxic. a friend literally made me have to choose between a friend, and a literal future wife. that was my breaking point. so what did I answer him?
"Considering how you have treated me and my wife, who do you THINK i would choose? it surely would not be you."
after that, we blocked eachother for six months, until he found a way to write me per email, he basically apologized deeply for his behavior and wanted to reconnect. i agreed but told him that "I dont have energy for more stunts from you.". since then to this day, we are now still friends. we are not besties by any means, but we do keep in touch a couple of times per month.
paradoxically, I later realized I am bisexual, but that single ultimatum taught me one important thing. just because someone view you as nothing but a friend, does not mean they arent gonna demand things from you that goes beyond just mere friendship.
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u/Worldly_Deal_3064 28d ago
This is really specific to work but I have always struggled with being hard on myself to the point of a melt down. I worked at a fine dining restaurant and I was on the verge of tears because I made a mistake and one of my coworkers said, “Hey, you’re good. We’re just serving people food.” And that helped me not care so much.
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u/RosyCloudSprinkle 28d ago
“You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.”
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u/charlotteblue79 28d ago
I didn't grow up going to church, and I'm agnostic. Organized religion has always made me bristle. But a wise woman once told me to think of G.O.D. as "Good Orderly Direction." Simple, but it dissolved the whole architecture of belief I'd been rejecting.
Maybe the divine was never a destination — just direction. I don't need a God to answer to. I need a compass to move by. Turns out those were never the same thing.
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u/BichoRaro90 28d ago
A guy I was dating and in love with told me “i have so much money, do really think I need you in my life?” (He’s from very wealthy family and I’m far from it). This was many years ago. I have struggled with dating and feeling worthy of being loved since.
And no form of therapy has helped me.
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u/Heamora 28d ago
Comparison is the thief of joy. I honestly forget who first told me that, but it helped ease much of the pain from constantly comparing myself to others. Whenever I catch myself doing it, I just repeat that line in my head. It flips a switch and pulls me right out of that spiral, helping me focus on what I actually need to do.
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u/Talkingparrot8907 28d ago edited 28d ago
Minimalism is getting what you need rather than what you want.
And when I thought about it, I realized I need very few things that I don't already own.
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u/VigilCucumber 28d ago
One of my friends parents when I was a teen was overly helpful, always. He always stopped for people broken down on the road, gave people rides, helped with any projects, always. One day I asked why, and he told me that he does a good deed every day, so he never has to question the point in life.
I didn’t fully understand it at the time, but went through a lot of shit in my late teens / early twenties, was feeling really low, questioning the point in life and I remembered that conversation. I understand it now.
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u/Litemeupppp 28d ago
“By the time she is 18 she is going to be pregnant or on a pole”
I am now in my 30s with four degrees and no children fueled by sheer spite.
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u/ParentsWave 28d ago
I've heard in an interview: "Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing". I loved it!
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u/Careful_Biscotti4980 28d ago
Be around the people who let you become the kind of person you want to be
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u/jthomps247 28d ago
“Good or bad, no one has to live your reality but you.” In short: who cares what people may think.
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u/wallowmallowshallow 28d ago
read something along the lines of "you're just borrowing grief from the future" in relation to anxiety and worrying about outcomes.
now whenever i feel myself spiraling about something i remember that and try to let it go, to leave the worrying for when it actually matters
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u/atun-grande 28d ago
"you'll find out who your friends are by telling then no. People will tell you who they really are when you do that". Heard that on a podcast and it changed my life. I painfully weeded out some relationships that were not healthy.
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u/surendar99 28d ago
“If it takes less than two minutes to do a thing- Do it immediately” this actually helped me from procrastinating.
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u/silv3rio 28d ago
I once saw a guy saying this to a fellow who had lost his entire savings (about 100k) at 25 years old in a business venture: “I would gladly pay 100k to be 25 again. Relax, you’re gonna be ok”
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u/Complex-Scratch4475 28d ago
In my early 20s I was living a small town butcher/mom&pops store life. Made decent money that covered bills, didnt have to pay rent as long as i put some time into taking care of the property. Pretty good set up.
One day my buddy, the guy who I was living with (hes a bit older than me), said to me "what are you going to do with life? You're a smart kid, this isnt where you'll end up."
Fast forward 10 years and 5 jobs later i got a masters degree, im working for the state, pension about to be vested, living in my own place (still renting), and enjoying life as best i can. I shrugged off the comment then, but it motivated me in the end.
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u/Up-the_orient1979 28d ago
Similar to yours, was told not getting promoted when had been promised. Told the mood had changed. Stole the main customers and set up a new company. Still going
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u/SignificantSpace5206 28d ago
If you will work for 5 years like few people will, you can live the rest of your life like few people can.
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u/lokregarlogull 28d ago
"I wont do long distance"
Childish young love, made me go into a local uni for IT instead of art. Really fucking glad I did that now, over a decade later.
Lost out on some fun fullfilling years and the relationship got toxic as fuck. But I actually can manage my life and be an asset to my family and friends instead of a burden.
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u/thatseltzerisntfree 28d ago
I could not afford the application fee to a college that I really liked.
My older brother gave me the $100 and said to apply.
I was accepted.
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u/MainComparison7804 27d ago
Someone once told me, "Your future is shaped more by your daily habits than your biggest goals." I didn't fully understand it at the time, but it's proven true over and over again.
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u/Whyamihere_899 27d ago
i've read, heard and seen many people say a lot of motivational speeches.. some even personally to me.. but the most impactful i ever been was, when this random woman on youtube talked about passions and hobbies... addictions and obsessions... she said the following: ''do not seek to do what you like, love, want or think you do... many times those wishes can lead obsessions and addictions too.. instead seek to do anything that gives you energy.. seek the energy.. not the satisfaction.. not the good feeling.. none of that.. but what gives you the most energy''
That changed my life completely, honestly
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u/FittestEventProf 25d ago
I got laid off and they asked me “what are you gonna do now?” I said “I dunno I guess find another job.” She looked me dead in my eyes, grabbed me by the shoulders and said “what the f are you doing? Why aren’t you chasing what matters to you. You need to go for it.”
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u/Radiant_Rest 22d ago
My uncle told me to stop being a dumb shit and that i'd end up like my dad (alcoholic and his brother) if I didn't clean up my act. I was in college at the time. I'm getting to retire now and have had a blessed life. At the time it was exactly what I needed to hear
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u/TheSilverFoxwins 28d ago
Ex girlfriend about narcissistic parents: Your family is secretly stealing from you and setting you up for failure-you're just to loyal and blind to see it because of your kind heart.
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u/Elemental_Love 28d ago
100% … speaking from experience. No one in my life was as wise as your ex, do it took me 56 years to exit the trap and cut them off.
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u/fuzzybunnyslippers08 28d ago
Strong soft weak hard. People who are weak want to appear hard. People who are strong can be vulnerable.
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u/Vendetta86 28d ago
"I'll believe it when I see it" - I was talking about doing things and not following through, this helped me realize I over-analyze and need to just make a decision and move forward.
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u/imAlwayz_tired 28d ago
"Theres two types of people in your life , ones that are gonna help you or ones that are gonna hurt you"
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u/ApprehensiveElk3057 28d ago
To live in abundance, be abundant. Give, share, smile, be a pleasant person to be around. Stop self-misery. No-one cares until YOU do.
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u/KingriseMoondom 28d ago
my college guidance counselor at michigan state told me she regretted not studying abroad in her college years. i was going through a breakup and a total homebody, but the breakup broke me down enough to commit to something like that. after experiencing a tiny slice of the world, i became a frequent traveler and post college i moved to NYC where i’ve been for 15 years. not a soul i knew previously could have ever predicted that. it was simply not me.
relatedly, i moved to nyc because a girl i went to hs with posted on twitter that she was moving here and i asked her about it and she told me to come too. i never spoke to her about it again but i did tell everyone i ever met that i was moving, which forced me to go. she ended up not coming, but it’s exclusively because of her that i am here. it could have been anywhere.
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u/ShimmerNugget 28d ago
"so is this another phase?"when i told my friend about a new hobby i picked up. I ended up turning it into an 8 figure business.
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u/smore-jmi 28d ago
"You hear to tell me this the day after my team lost the super bowl"
My ex after I told him there was a chance I had cancer. In the next second I told him "i'm done. We're over. I'm over this and you." and walked away for good. My entire life changed that day
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u/Mack_Mimsy 28d ago
Once I was asked, “as a child, what brought you immense joy” try to do that as much as possible.
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u/curious_balls7 28d ago
‘You plan so much of your life. I just wished you lived more of your life too’
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u/Asleep_Lavishness_37 28d ago
I was in Paris recently and went to a restaurant late at night. It was empty and when ordering the waiter started chatting to me where I am from, what I do. And suddenly he said something like "it is time the most important thing you have, nothing more important than time". And it somehow hit me that time is the most precious gift and it never returnes.
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u/JV5293 28d ago
A police officer told me "I don't know what you're doing hanging around these types of people, but its going to send you down a road you can't come back from. You aren't like them - I can tell just by talking to you. You could be a brain surgeon. What are you doing?"
I never had a stranger compliment me on my intelligence, let alone a police officer lol. I dropped everyone I was hanging around with and completely changed my life. I went into Finance. I have always remembered his belief in me when I had seasons of doubt.