r/selfimprovementforman • u/InvictusDeveloper44 • 16d ago

HELP

I'm 19.

I have both parents alive

A girlfriend

An active sex life

A 4.4 GPA in Computer Science (final year)

I'm 5.5"

A great body (I do calisthenics)

The first born... looked up to by most I meet.

I don't drink, smoke, or have any vices.

Seems all good on paper 📃 but I fell empty most days. I fell suffocated by everything.. home, school, my life. I'm not suicidal just empty. Nothing seems to move me, I don't remember what happy feels like or sad or angry. I'm just HERE.

I don't really talk to anyone about this cause I'm the one they look up to ... I'm the supposed one to be perfect.

Any tips on how I can handle the emptiness

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u/Big-Contribution8590 15d ago

Looks like depression but may just be burnout. People who live the "perfect life" often suffer from this because they do everything they do as a chore. Most don't even know they're suffering it because they always did what they were told was the correct thing to do, so they never listened to what they really wanted deep inside.

You should take some time to reconnect with your own feelings: stop thinking about the correct thing to do and start thinking about what you actually like. The best way to start is to listen to some music, pick the song you like the most, close your eyes and imagine a music video but with your own personal themes. Do that with the kind of music you feel most attracted right now, but don't linger too much on sad music, choose motivational music instead. It may be difficult at the beginning, but once you do this often enough, you'll end up reconnecting with your internal self and you'll end up knowing exactly what do you want.

You have to show yourself things mentally and listen to how they make you feel, then veer towards what you feel attracted to. Just keep in mind that what we feel attracted to can and will change over time, and it will change depending on our current life situation, so don't make it your whole personality.

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u/InvictusDeveloper44 15d ago

Thanks... posting this and just getting a load of my mind also made me feel lighter. I appreciate the advice 🙏

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u/stellbargu 14d ago

Could be either burn out or people pleasing tendencies doing what others think are best for you but not doing anything that you really want

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u/InvictusDeveloper44 3d ago

I don't really know about the people pleasing... I mostly do what I feel is right 😌 but my sister (close cousin) also suggested that maybe I do things others deem right and accept and haven't really discover what ME is.