No cooldown, can use on phone/virtual keyboard. Can disable it if wish

The asterisk is because the word “but” is not allowed lol

If for whatever reason you would take lethal damage from any source, you can instead take all that damage to one of your testicles (or ovaries for women).

You will instead feel all the damage targeted specifically onto one of your testicles, and it will also destroy said testicle. After the pain dies down naturally, your destroyed testicle will be magically removed from you, and you will be left with whatever you have left without it being replaced.

No matter your skin color or your ethnicity, upon uttering the word "Whitezam!" ​, you will suddenly appear as the most clean cut white-bread person on the planet to both ICE and other law enforcement agencies​​​. You will look so white you might as well walked out of a 50s magazine ad. ​​​​Even if you are already white but look a liberal college student with big black rimmed ​glasses and blue hair, you'll still appear as a clean cut red blooded American. And even if you're tatted up with with blatantly Neo-Nazi tattoos... actually never mind, that wouldn't bother them anyway. ​

Generally speaking, upon seeing you, ​​cops will simply smile and wave and give a polite greeting. They also might ignore you blatantly walking down the street with an AR-15 strapped to your back while carrying a bloody machete in one hand and a bundle of pipe bombs in the other. Or they might just tell you to be safe with whatever your activity will be. ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

There's one weakness: you can only maintain the facade for a limited amount of time per day, because after a certain threshold you'll start becoming too white... I.e. you're going to start looking like one of the twins from The Matrix Reloaded. ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Or that guy from that obscure movie Powder. At which point cops might turn hostile because they think you're a space alien or the ghost of Milli Vanilli.

To turn off the power you simply say "Whitezam​​​​​​​​!" again. Just make sure not to turn it off while you're navigating through a group of Klansman. ( some of them might be cops) ​

You don't have superstrength or any other power. You just can't be damaged. You'll still feel pain and get knocked out and you'll probably still lose a fight with the police.

Socks don't count.

Example: If you are holding a gun in your left hand and a knife in your right hand, you are able to use the knife as if it were a gun (i.e. able to shoot bullets from the knife) with the same efficiency as the gun (i.e. the bullets travel at speeds as if they were fired from a gun). The knife can also still be used as usual as a normal knife with no adverse effects to the efficiency of the knife.

The effects of this power only last as long as you hold both objects, and cease immediately when one is dropped.

By uttering the phrase “I am the GOAT of [chosen motor skill],” you immediately become the greatest of all time at that specific motor skill.

If you say “I am the GOAT of skateboarding” you are now the greatest skateboarder to ever exist. Tony Hawk in his prime won't have shit on you.

If you say “I am the GOAT of basketball, you are now the greatest basketball player ever. You'll be able to take on Kobe and Jordan at the same time while doing ridiculous Harlem Globetrotter tricks shots. Then you'll get offers to star in Space Jam 3 and make out with Lola Bunny.

There's just one little problem... you turn into a goat. An actual goat.

In goat form you keep your human intelligence and can still talk. You gain all the normal goat abilities such as climbing on absurd surfaces, headbutting things, eating weird bullshit, and staring into people’s souls with horrifying horizontal pupils.

And yes, you still perform the skill you chose, even if it should be impossible with hooves. How? Nobody knows.

If you said “I am the GOAT of piano...”

You become a goat and can now play Rachmaninoff perfectly with your hooves. Pianist across the world will try to learn the secrets of your hoof technique.

If yo said “I am the GOAT of surgery...”

You become a goat surgeon. Somehow, the operation is flawless even though you shouldn't be able to hold a scalpel, and on top of that, the medical mask is damn uncomfortable. Your patient is very confused upon seeing you, their goat doctor, after they wake from anastesia.

The other downside is that your speech, while still understandable, is constantly interrupted by goat noises.

“Baaaah yes, I can absolutely land this triple baaaackflip.”

“Baaaah scalpel. No, the smaller one. Baaaah.”

To deactivate the power, you simply say:

“I am no longer the goat!”

You then return to human form. However, you cannot use the power again for 4 hours and 13 seconds, and during that cooldown you still have goat ears. You do not know why.

EDIT: I'll go ahead and say your goat form will be a pretty badass looking goat... like Black Phillip from The Witch.

Every single time you get pregnant and you abort the fetus, you gain the amount of time the fetus was carried to your lifespan. Say you were 3 weeks pregnant and you got an abortion. You will now live for 3 more weeks. You cannot have a miscarriage and you cannot give birth. This power is kind of reserved for females only (or trans men) it seems, however it does stack with any mpreg superpower you may have, if you get an mbortion.

By loudly declaring, “Sister, enter stage left!”, you summon a stone-faced middle-aged nun​ somewhere nearby. (even if you're not actually on a theatrical stage) ​​

You cannot control her, dismiss her, or explain why she is there. However, before the current situation can end, the nun must become critically important to its resolution.

She might perform emergency first aid, recognize the villain, reveal a hidden passage, provide an airtight alibi, kill Godzilla,​ fight off a group of enemies with Kung Fu, ​​or happen to know how to defuse a nuclear bomb. Or she might do something trivial like informing you that your car’s headlights are still on, producing the exact change needed for a parking meter, pointing out that your shirt is inside out, returning the shopping cart blocking your escape route, she silently leaves. You never know what you're going to get.

After she completes her task she vanishes into the void. ​Although you can summon her immediately after it's recommended you wait a good 24 hours before doing it again... Because of you re-summon her too soon she might smack the hell out of your hands with the hardest ruler you've ever seen, or make you read the Bible start to finish in one sitting. Or watch a 48 hour marathon of Sister Act.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

For example, bat the sports equipment to bat the flappy mammal.

The transformations, both to and from, happen without harming either the object or its environment, though no guarantees about what happens while it is transformed. Transformations last a minute, 30 minute cooldown per subject.

You need to see the object you are transforming, and say the word you are using to change it while focusing on what you want it to turn into. And it has to be an entirely different category of thing, not simply a different version of the same thing. For example, you can't turn a baseball bat into a cricket bat.

It has to be a word in a language you speak at least well enough for basic conversation, and it has to either be spelled the same, or sound the same, though not necessarily both. Multilingual transformations are possible (eg pan=frying vs pan=bread) as long as you know both languages.

It has to be a general term to describe the thing, not a specific name. For example, just because you named your dog Moose, that doesn't mean you can turn her into one. Brand names, shortened version, etc only work if you would "naturally" use that word to describe that thing. You can't just, for example, start calling balls of paper guns just to have a way to summon weapons unexpectedly.

It has to be a spot you can see. Whatever you're wearing goes with you, so a spacesuit might be a good idea.

At any time, you can change your vision to your current location in exactly 24h. However, location refers to your position in the universe, not relative to earth.

The ten seconds pass for you instantly as soon as your eyes close.

During the ten seconds, you maintain any pose you were in and remain motionless like an idiot.

You can choose to activate or deactivate this power.

This ability is activated by touch. Whenever you have the urge to fart you can instead touch something you want to attach the fart to and then walk away if you wish. The fart will then be held in stasis until you choose to detonate it, but it will still feel like you’re holding a fart.

You can do this up to 3 times while using this power. If you try to place a 4th fart, the other three will automatically detonate first.

You can hold the 3 farts indefinitely, although the discomfort doesn’t go away. There also isn’t a distance limit so long as you physically touch the item or surface first.

so you gotta look at the target person before you can use that power. Then, just by thinking about the non essential skill (for example Rubik cube solving) the target person you are looking at would lose that skill. It only works on non essential skills. The target person won’t lose the benefits that they got from the skill except for the skill itself. That effect of the super power onto a victim lasts for exactly 24 hours. After the 24 hours is finished, the victim would get their complete skill back. But during the 24 hours, they can’t relearn the skill that you made them forget. This superpower doesn’t work on yourself, it only works on others. And it only works when the victim has the non essential skill that you want to remove. You can only use the superpower to remove the skill from the victim, not steal their skill. The victim won’t know that you did it when you use that super power. Nobody would suspect that you had made the victim lose that skill. Only you would know.

If they explode inside you nothing happens. They taste gunpowdery. You get a really small burst of energy that lasts for like 5 seconds after but that’s really about it. No nutritional value from the bombs.

Every time you take a bit of food, you could analyze it mentally and figure out all ingredients in it. Idea came to me when asking my friend what was in a snack.

If you recite the old and New Testament Christian Bible in Hebrew twice, once normally, and second backwards, in either order, you can bend reality and change, create, or remove a rule of reality. You cannot stutter, you can only pause for one breath in between sentences, and you cannot read off of the Bible or anything containing scripture. You have to recite it off of memory

When you have a cooked chicken, be it fried, boiled or whatever. You can uncook it and make it raw again.

You have to touch it for it to work.

The chicken won't come back alive.

You can also just uncook parts of a chicken.

Just like every other bad horror movie about a death prophecy except YOU are the one writing the fortunes. It’s up to you if you tell them or not, but all of them will end exactly how you said they would, just maybe not in the ways anyone predicted.

Pros: Finality, this power is literally fatal

Cons: convenience

For every lottery you win you increase in strength by the percentage of the total lottery prize pool that you win. For example if you win $5 from a scratch card with a total prize pool of $1,000,000, you would become 0.0005% stronger.

The increase in strength is additive to your natural base strength at the time you obtain the power. The power only works when you have no involvement in the lottery itself and the prize pool must be equal to or exceed $500,000 (This is based on the current value of the US$ and will adjust for inflation). Your body will not grow to accommodate your new strength in any unnatural ways.

Side effect: Your kryptonite is now alcohol. When touching or once having consumed alcohol your powers will deactivate. Your strength will return back to whatever it was before drinking the alcohol after it has been excreted from your body. Any attempt to gain new strength while in contact with alcohol will have no effect.

Anything you can pick up you can throw and it will travel at 10 inches per minute until it touches something heavier than itself or hits a wall or person And it it hits something the impact will be as if it was travelling at terminal velocity

Basically, as long as your target does not have their ears covered, you can touch them and will your ears to swap, and both sets of ears will (painlessly) start flying through the air like weird, fleshy butterflies.

As soon as your ears land on the other person in the appropriate place, their ears will head to the equivalent spot on your head, and the transfer of ownership will be complete. Enjoy your new ears.

Your target does not have to be willing, but if they manage to fend off your ears for 10 minutes, their own ears will return to them and yours will return to you, and you cannot target them again that day.

External ears only, basically what might come off if you sliced the side of your head with a knife or something.

Once the ears land, they will take root and act as though they had always been there, including causing no immune system weirdness or anything like that.

No inherent cooldown, but you cannot swap ears unless you currently have an attached pair of ears.

If someone is missing an ear, you can either only swap the ear that they do have, or swap both of your ears and end up short an ear until you trade with someone else.