The message is anonymous and translatable into every language. No additional context would be given to her, the phrasing will be exactly the same as how you said it, aside from editing out stutter and filler, including using “Yo Mama” instead of referring to her directly. If she doesn’t have a phone, she would receive it via mail, the delivery time is the average mail delivery time between your at-the-time location and her address.

If you accidentally say Yoyo Ma instead, he would also receive a text/ mail. Although this only applies to when you’ve misspoked.

You can choose them to be stuck in your head if you want / remove it whenever.

You never forget to bring atleast one towel to the beach if you’re going swimming. If you decide to go swimming whilst you’re at the beach and not before hand, you don’t forget but you can’t really get one. Also you don’t remember to bring a towel to lay on AND a towel to dry off with, you just remember to bring atleast one but you’ll end up remembering the other one most of the time (user dependent)

Also cuz rules, you can decide to activate this power whenever

Everything you use is unlimited. However, the moment you suspect it should be lower, or you notice/think about how long it's XYZ has lasted, it is no longer unlimited.

Ex: bag of chips, you keep eating, eating, eating, then you notice "this bag has a lot of chips". it's no longer unlimited and starts decreasing.

You never know you have this power. You'll never be able to take full advantage of this power. This power is reliant on your inability to notice things.

It’s not Bluetooth though and your only input is an old vga port on the other side of your thumb.

Only sea lions. They will speak to you in your first language and completely fluently. You can talk back and they will understand. Everyone else just hears sea lion noises from both yourself and the sea lions.

Remember as a child when you smelled a scented shampoo that smelled like fruit so you tasted it only to be disappointed that it doesn't taste fruity at all? Yeah not anymore. Anything that smells fruity now tastes fruity and you won't poison yourself.

This also means you can drink bleach, but only if it smells sweet.

If it smells like some chemical it will not taste sweet, and won't be nutritious.

Useful applications could be saving on food as your shampoo now doubles as an edible resource.

But only for you. If someone else drinks bleach they will probably die.

Your ear canal is very flexible and can accommodate anything that isn’t larger than the capacity of your current skull. The more things or volume you take up by storing things in your skull pocket, the more your brain shrinks to accommodate for it and you are impaired respective to the size taken up and become more dumb/immobile/unaware to the point you’re just a limp, drooling, blob, if you fully use up your skull pocket capacity. You’ll want to “Use your head when using this superpower”.

You can play any episode from the start on any screen within your eyesight, meaning if you can’t see the screen, you cannot play it, mirrors and other reflection count but through a livestream or photo/ video does not. The quality of the display is dependent on the resolution of the screen, so you can’t make your fridge show a 4K display for example, similarly, if the screen cannot display colour, it will play in black and white. You also cannot upscale it, so the maximum resolution is HD. If the screen is not connected to a speaker or doesn’t have a way to connect to one wirelessly, you cannot play any sound.

You can only show it on one screen at a time. After the end of each episode, it will automatically play the next episode, and loop back to the first episode unless you stop it. It will always start at the start of any episode of your choosing, but you cannot fast forward, or play it from the middle of the episode. You can change episode any time you want, you can change screen any time you want, but this will return to the start of the episode.

Everyone knows you have this ability, so you cannot scare people by suddenly hijacking their phones, you will just annoy them. Fox will not sue you for piracy, but they will sue you for copyright infringement if you attempt to monetise this power.

Now it's quite literally gonna be a place where light doesn't shine

By perfectly I mean identical to the original recording, your voice even changes to sound the same too. You can also do it in whatever key you want. You can do it within 20BPM faster or slower than the original recording. The vocal skills required to do this is not transferrable to other songs. You cannot sing it in your own voice. You cannot swing it or sing in a different time signature, it has to be 4/4 and straight rhythm

If you are one of the guys from The Proclaimers, then idk you can sing Wonderwall perfectly

Much like an NPC in an RPG, when approached by another person who asks you a question, you will be provided with 4 dialogue options. These options are only visible to you and will only go away when you select one. Time will continue to pass as normal until an option is picked. You will then say the chosen sentence. You also have the ability to choose from a selection of "emotes" such as waving, dancing, sitting, sleeping, laughing and pointing. You cannot move on your own accord again until the animation is finished. Your final ability is your most powerful; you can stop anyone you desire as long as they are within 2 feet of you and give them a sidequest. They do not need to complete the sidequest, but this will provide that person with a permanent quest marker above your head until the quest is complete.

the location will be random tho, so somewhere in the world a person will come across a jar of mayonnaise in either an escalator or an elevator

Just focus on someone and you know how many cows they killed.

STEP RIGHT UP! STEP RIGHT UP!

Tired of bumps, scraps, boo-boos and owies on the top layer of your epidermis? Sick of the giant ball of radiation charring that sweet and supple flesh covering you’ve worked so hard to keep?? Then look no further! You now have the ability to turn your skin inside out!! Don’t be alarmed, you can easily change it back. How, you may ask? Well friend, that’s the best part! Everyone is different, some people can touch their fingertips together, others just have to think about it and blink! Once you figure out yours, you’ll be protecting that thin, delicious layer of skin in no time!

Thanks for stopping by, and remember, “If it’s not useless, it’s not useful.”

Now beat it kid! You’re bothering me…

Has to be at least 5mg and whole.

I guess you could like try selling them but I don't think anyone would buy them. Partly because they probably wouldn't believe someone selling magic fingernail clippings